"Interview in an hour, lets go!"

I grumbled from my position in my bed, pulling the pillow over my face as I heard JC laugh, he in the bathroom dressing and getting ready for the day. The whole sharing a bed together thing hadn't gotten to bother me yet, he a still sleeper and usually kept his limbs to himself (though there had been times in the past week or so that his arm would somehow end up entangled with mine, or leg doing the same) and it was slowly starting to circulate that he had a big secret he was keeping from the world.

For the most part, Rob had made sure everyone kept mum on the details of the marriage, waiting for a good publicity event that would really send us all into a tailspin. There had been reports daily since the first report had been noted on E! News, and today he had to be in a radio station for yet another interview about his upcoming album, which he had hoped (and aimed) for a late 2007, early 2008 release. Today was going to be a very busy one. Not only with the radio interview, but his birthday was tomorrow and family was coming down to celebrate with him - this was when he was going to drop the ball and tell them he was married. To me.

"Lily, come on!"

I yelled out in surprise, feeling JC's weight against me as he stood on the bed, feet on either side of me as he bounced back and forth. "Come on! We're in Miami! The sooner we get this done we can go to the beach and your pasty little ass can get some color!"

"I'm darker than you," I mumbled as he laughed, bending down and swatting at my butt, my yells of protest falling upon deaf ears as he continued to do so. "God, I'm up!" I rolled over, he jumping off the bed with a victorious grin on his face. "God, you're so annoying in the morning."

"Just today," he grinned, shoving the toothbrush that was in his hand back into his mouth. "My birthday is tomorrow!"

"I'm well aware of this," I laughed, shaking my head. "What's so important about it?"

"I'm gonna be old!"

"Ah yes, and I'm still in my twenties."

"Oh just wait. When you hit thirty, I'm gonna make sure you feel old."

"I already do," I mumbled, standing in front of him as I stretched, he poking my belly. I grumbled again, he grinning as I pushed past him into the bathroom. "Got nephews, my baby sister is getting married ..."

"You're married ..."

"That I am," I said, meeting his eyes in the mirror as he grinned, sitting on the toilet seat and watching me as he brushed his teeth. "As are you."

"We've been married for nine days," he chuckled. "I feel as if we've been married for nine years."

"Why?" I asked, brushing eyeshadow onto my lids as he shrugged, eyes still studying me. "Because we've known each other for years?"

"I just feel like you're the only person who knows me anymore."

"Well, we do share a bed now," I grinned as he shook his head, a smile playing on his lips. He had a thoughtful look on his face with a slight tint of red to the apples of his cheeks - he was embarassing himself somehow. "You okay?"

"Fine," he said, though it didn't look it. The look still hadn't left as he watched me, he suddenly sighing deeply and getting up, tossing his toothbrush to the sink. "I'm going to get dressed."

"Okay," I said, clueless. "You sure you're -"

"I'm fine," he said quickly, walking out of the bathroom and back into the room. "Just ... fine."

"All right," I mumbled, finishing up my make-up and then beginning to brush my teeth. He had been having a lot more 'I'm fine' moments since the day after our 'wedding'. He looked more in tune to his own thoughts than the outside world, and the notepad in which he wrote all his ideas had not left his side. Either he was in the midst of an 'I'm turning 31' crisis, or had an amazing idea that he just couldn't get out onto paper.

Either way, I was worried.

"Took you long enough!"

I mumbled some sort of obscenety towards Rob, JC leaning up against the Hummer limo that was there to take us to the radio station. He had a smirk on his face, and I could see his arched eyebrows from above his sunglasses. "What?"

He lifted his sunglasses up off of his head, looking at me. "You're in shorts."

"Shut up. It's hot out and I didn't feel like wearing a dress."

"You're showing cleavage."

"I have my bathing suit on underneath," I mumbled, suddenly feeling self-conscious as JC just stared. "Dude, put your eyes back in your head or put your sunglasses back on, you're making me uncomfortable."

"Sorry," he said softly, pulling open the door before the driver could, letting me in as he followed behind. "Didn't mean to; I'm just not used to seeing you dress like ... well, a woman. You usually live in jeans and t-shirts. You have a figure."

"Yeah," I said, looking down at my chest through my shirt. "A little too much of one."

"No, just enough of one," he replied, patting my leg gently as he smiled. "I didn't mean to .. gawk."

"It's all right," I Iaughed slightly, shaking my head and looking out the window. "So what are the plans?"

"I'm debuting 'Until Yesterday' on the radio, and I'm sure I'm gonna be drilled with a lot of questions about everything," he said, his voice distant as he looked out the other window. "Probably about JIVE, Justin, you ..."

"That'll be ... interesting."

"Don't forget, you can't really admit the marriage yet until we've got some magazine aching for it." Rob stated, JC and I both rolling our eyes at him.

"Yeah, yeah," JC mumbled, leaning up against the chair and letting his head fall to my shoulder as he watched me work on a crossword puzzle, a chuckle escaping his mouth as I looked at the top of his head curiously. In silence, he brought his finger up, pointing to 14 down. "JC _____ of *NSYNC super-fame."

"Oh, oh, I know it! It's on the tip of my tongue," I snapped my fingers as he poked my side, laughing a bit as I filled in his last name - well, our last name. "What's another word for woman? Four letters."

"Lady."

"Well, it could be girl -"

"It's lady." He said, sticking to his answer. "And 10 across is copper."

"Ssh, I want to do it. This is my crossword."

"You just asked me one so I thought I'd give you one!"

"Don't help me cheat," I laughed, seeing one that I knew neither of us would know, flipping to the back of the book as he gasped in disgust. "What?"

"Cheating!"

"So?"

"You wouldn't let me even help you!"

I chuckled, closing the book and ending all bickering about it completely. As I tossed it to the middle of the limo towards my purse, I felt JC's body lean more into me, a deep sigh escaping his lips. I didn't say anything then, not wanting to bring attention to what I was wondering about as I put my arm around his back, bent upward as I played lazily with the hair by his ear, the more I did it, the more I felt his weight become heavier, knowing I was putting him to sleep. The radio station was an hour away, so what was a 45 minute nap?

It didn't sound bad at all.

But it didn't come. Unlike JC, I couldn't sleep through Rob's booming voice as he spoke animatedly on the phone with someone, the whir of cars passing by and the low gush of the air condition had even bothered me. I motioned for Rob to grab my purse for me, he leaning forward and placing it on my lap as to not disturb JC as I rummaged through it, looking for my precious iPod. I found my phone first, putting it on silent and shoving it back into the corner, finally finding the cord to the player and tugging gently, finding it soon after.

Leaning back, I put my head on the top of the seat, closing my eyes as I put the earbuds in my ear. Automatically going to shuffle after I had started it, I just let it play as I tried to keep my mind of the constant worries that were riddling my mind.

"Lily," a soft voice whispered into my ear, "Lily Anne, get up, babe."

I opened my eyes slightly, not realizing I had fallen asleep. As I turned my head, I met JC's groggy gaze, he rubbing an eye with a closed hand, yawning deeply. "Did we just get here?"

"Yeah," he said softly, turning to look back at me as he gave me a smile. "Ready?"

I stretched slightly, smoothing my hair as I nodded, he opening up the door as flashes from cameras as he climbed out, turning to bend and extending his hand to help me out, hand cupping over mine and leading me through the paparazzi. I covered my face slightly, glad I had him ahead of me so that they were more focused on him. As we continued walking, every question that was directed at him was over all the rumors.

"Are you married, JC?"

"Who is she? Is she your wife?"

"Is it true you two got married?"

"I'm declining to answer any of those questions, as I will probably be in a few minutes," JC said politely, giving smiles as he waved, tugging me closer to him as he approached the entrance, pulling me ahead of him before he went in. He looked bothered yet again as I slowed to wait for him, he speaking to one of the men that greeted him before he and I headed towards the elevators where Rob and the rest of the entourage were waiting. "Ready?" He asked, holding out his hand as I slipped my own into his, he walking but stopping as I stood there, still looking at him. "What's wrong?"

"You sure you're okay?" I asked softly, gripping his hand and gently kneading the area my thumb had been resting on. "Really?"

He looked at me for a moment, and I saw the hesitance in his eyes. But as quickly as it came, it disappeared. "I'm fine," he stated, giving me a small smile as he kissed my forehead, "really. Thanks for worrying about me, though."

"Jace -"

"C'mon, Lils, I'm fine," he said, tugging my hand and leading us towards the elevators once more as I followed slowly behind. "Stop worrying about me so much, all right? I'm a big boy. A married big boy."

I sighed deeply, shaking my head. "Fine," I mumbled, looking down to the ground, "I'll just stop worrying all together."

"I'm not saying that," he said, looking back and forth, seeing a person walking down the hall as he turned, pushing me into a vacant room and shutting the door. "This wedding thing is still giving me stress, is all -"

"And me?"

"You have been nothing but good to me," he said, putting his hand to my face, palm out. "It's just been the getting used to part that's getting to me, you know? You and me, friends. You and me, suddenly lovers for some charade that Rob sickenly cooked up. I just feel like ... above all things, I'm betraying you and the belief in marriage being sacred. I'm betraying everything I ever believed in. It's gonna take some getting used to."

"All right," I nodded, playing with his fingers that were still laced with mine as I studied his face, looking for any clues that he was hesitating once more. He wasn't. "All right."

"All right? Good." He lifted my hand to his mouth, kissing it sweetly as he opened the door, we walking over to the elevators in silence, Rob and everyone had already gone up; probably tired of waiting. As we got in, I immediately went to the side, leaning up against the railing as he hit the button for the floor we were to go to, his face falling as he looked down. He looked lost, and I knew he had been lying to me, and to himself the entire morning (and now afternoon).

"JC," I said softly, he ignoring me as he still stared at the ground, hands on either side of him, clencing the rail tightly. What was going on with him?

I swallowed, licking my lips and hearing the music playing in the elevator. Matchbox 20.

Can you help me I'm bent
I'm so scared that I'll never
Get put back together
Keep breaking me in
And this is how we will end
With you and me bent

I put my hand to my mouth, debating as to what to do. As I chewed my nail nervously, pulling my hand from my mouth as I spoke again. "Joshua."

He looked up then, face contorted in confusion as I pushed myself away from the wall, stepping up to him and without thinking, slid my hands against the fabric of his shirt, gripping it at his back as I stood on my tiptoes and looking at him. "What do you want me to do, huh? I see the look. I see flicker of emotions. What do you want me to do about it?"

He licked his lips, eyes never leaving mine. "I don't know," he said softly, blinking slowly. I felt the burn that his eyes had, I knew he felt it, too. "What is there to do? We're both royally fucked anyway."

Start bending me
It's never enough
'Til I feel all your pieces
Start bending me
Keep bending until I'm completely broken in ...

"If I had known that this was where it would put you mentally -"

"Neither of us knew," he said, shaking his head as he looked down and to the side, sighing deeply. "Don't blame yourself."

"JC -"

"There's no way to get out now," he said, licking his lips and looking at me again. "I'm just wishing that sometimes you wouldn't do things because you knew they'd make my life better."

"But this isn't -"

"You're part of the plan, it's only good because of that reason."

"JC -"

"Lily, look -" He stopped, the doors dinging as it signalled reaching its destination, he sighing deeply. "We'll talk about this later, okay?"

"All right," I said softly. But I knew we wouldn't. He always would find a way around it. Even if I remembered and pressed him for reasons, he'd find excuses. As we stepped off, he turned to me, ignoring the calls of Rob and the radio DJ, hugging me tightly. His tone surprised me as he whispered into my ear, he gripping my shoulders tightly to keep me from moving. His breath, along with the way his voice flowed into my ear sent chills down my spine and my brain into a whirlwind.

"How could I say 'no', you hit me so unexpectedly ..."

With that, he pulled away, giving me the same look he had been wearing all day. As I watched him walk away, I put my hand to my ear, boggled by the words that seemed so familiar, yet so strange to me. Where had I heard those words before? Where had they been used?

I went into the other room where producers and a few other DJ's sat, Rob soon entering and sitting down next to me. "He'll be on next commercial. You okay?"

I looked at him, my eyebrows still creased as I nodded. "Yeah, just fine."

"You seem bothered."

"Well, I am ... kind of," I said, the words running around my mind like forgotten lyrics. Lyrics! They were lyrics! But from what? "Just trying to think of a song."

"Oh."

I let the words take a harmony, trying to place the words to the music. I was failing miserably.

"If I don't finish up the itinerary for tomorrow, you think you can wing it?"

I turned to Rob, my thought bubble busted. "Yeah, I'm sure I can. He's actually working on his birthday?"

"Just a tv appearance later in the day. I think it's around five or so. We're all going out afterward for his birthday. You get hit him anything?"

"Not yet," I said, shaking my head. "I plan to go out tonight by myself to see what I can find."

"All right." He turned back to his papers, and suddenly, Rob's own words echoed in my head: "If I don't finish up the intinerary ..."

'Cause I prayed, and still I'm glad I stayed

I could try to fight it
Just deny it, avoid the touch
Turn away from you
Or maybe
Ride it out, but if I like it
Is that enough
To call it love, call it love?

Oh, to call it love

I feel as if my heart
Has been betraying me
Falling for the thing
That I would never need

You were the one who put me here
Taking my heart and holding it away from me
How could it just happen so suddenly
Another day, and still you're here to stay

I could try to fight it
Just deny it, avoid the touch
Turn away from you
Or maybe
Ride it out, but if I like it
Is that enough
To call it love, call it love

If I don't, if I don't
My heart is gonna break in front of me
If I don't, if I don't
I may never be the man I wanted to be

I could try to fight it
Just deny it, avoid the touch
Turn away from you

Or maybe
Ride it out, but if I like it
Is that enough
To call it love, call it love

I could try to fight it
Just deny it, avoid the touch
Turn away from you

Or maybe
Ride it out, but if I like it
Is that enough
To call it love to take me home
I think I may be on my own

Oh, call it love

I put a hand to my mouth. Oh, God, I hope this isn't what I think it is.