"You have an appointment with the people at Alfred Angelo for a gown."

I turned to look at Rob as he brushed past us, he still on the phone. A gown? Was he serious?! We were eloping, not getting married!

Well, we were, but there is a difference. All I was gonna do was wear white pants and a white tank top.

And now I had to get a gown?

"And JC, you have a fitting, too. Once we hit Vegas, they'll be waiting for us. Lucky, 'cause they're keeping it open just for us."

JC nodded, having not said a word since he had asked me what we had gotten ourselves into. He had been sitting there, staring out the window from the bus, hand tucked under his chin, eyes blank. I knew he wasn't watching scenery, I knew he wasn't watching cars go by; I saw the thoughts swirling, the doubts clouding in his eyes - I saw the nervousness, the fright. I knew what he felt, because I was dealing with my own demons, too.

I got up, pulling nervously on the hem of my tank top as I slid in next to him, placing my chin on his arm as he kept his face towards the window, blindly lifting his arm and wrapping it around my shoulders, my cheek now resting on his side. He squeezed my shoulders to acknowledge my presence, a deep sigh escaping his mouth. I lifted up my hand opposite of my shoulder, gripping his hand in return. We both sat there, silent. It was more comfortable that way.

"And you're also aware that the two of you are going to have to kiss, right? There are witnesses and a priest that will have to see this."

I felt JC's heart speed up as the realization sweeped over both of us. Marriages were sealed with a kiss. Sure, he had kissed my forehead, cheek, temple and my neck (the one night at the club, it being the closest thing to him) before, but we really, truly, had to kiss. He had to kiss me and I had to kiss him back.

"Guys?"

"Rob, you know it's not in your best interest to speak to me right now," he said softly, voice quiet and calm. "Just, let this settle, all right? Go finish planning and we'll do it. Just ... go elsewhere to do so."

Rob was silent as he stood there, understanding and backing away and going back to the way back of the bus, passed the entertainment room and into JC's bedroom (the front half of the bus was smaller to adjust).

"We're in this together, right?" I asked softly, he turning his head to look at me, his eyes looking lighter than I had ever seen them before. "We'll stick it out together."

He nodded. "Umbrella."

"What?"

"Like the chorus." He smirked slightly, bobbing his head to the music playing in his head, "when the sun shines, we'll shine together; told you I'll be here forever; said I'll always be your friend; took an oath, I'mma stick it out 'til the end; now that it's raining more than ever, know that we'll still have each other ..."

"The fact that you know the words bothers me," I chuckled, he shrugging and giving me a weak smile. "In it together."

I looked down at his hand that he held palm up, putting my hand on top of his as he squeezed it tightly. "Yes."

"I'm marrying you tonight."

"I'm actually getting married. Never thought it'd happen."

"I'm sure it would have, just not like this," he laughed. "We're getting married and then ... there will be no proof it ever happened after a while."

"Weird."

"Yeah," he said, shaking his head as he looked at our hands, placing his free hand on top of mine. "Just a wedding, no reception, right? It'd be feel kind of weird to have one without family. Well, actually, it feels weird having a wedding without family, period."

"It feels weird marrying someone I wasn't even dating."

"Amen to that, sister," he laughed. "But I'm glad it's you that I'm marrying even though we never dated. I'd feel kind of weird if it were Michelle or Tyra."

I laughed, Michelle and Tyra being his very openly lesbian stylists. If I hadn't been there many times, he'd be sporting a lot more pink than they give him. They were the most amazing people, but sometimes, they liked to make JC look like something he wasn't. "Well, then I'm glad you're glad."

"Make sure you get a dress for afterward," JC said. "We'll go dancing. Drink away Rob's moronic ways."

"I never drank until yesterday. You're going to turn me into an alcoholic."

"No, Rob will," he laughed. "Get a cocktail dress or something. Something you can change into so we can go dance."

"Guys, we're almost in Vegas."

JC and I both looked over, seeing the bright lights of the city staring back at us even while it was still light out. It was at this moment that Rob made his presence known, clearing his throat and bringing us to look at him. "What?"

"The marriage license has been filed; I'll go pick it up while the two of you go get fitted and stuff. Do you want anything specific?"

"Yeah," JC said quickly, clearing his throat and still clearly peeved at him, "no one at the wedding. If this is something we have to do together, I want it to be us, the officiator and a witness."

"Okay. Just the three of us and -"

"No," JC said, shaking his head. "I don't want you there, Rob. You're on my shit list right now."

"Hey man, you agreed to this -"

"I know I did. But I feel ridiculous for doing so. Why should I have to marry someone to be known publicly? A secret marriage and a secret relationship? Is that really going to make headlines? Probably not."

"Jace, trust me, it will."

"Still," he said, motioning for me to get out of the seat so he could slide out, "I don't want you there. You do what you gotta do, but this is for us. That's it. I'm going to make the best of this because I have to. I've got her, and we've gotta deal with the press, not you. So, we'll deal with the wedding. You deal with everything else."

Rob nodded, watching as JC brushed past him, closing the door to the back. "I'm sorry, Lily. If I had thought we would have to do this, it wouldn't have happened in the first place. I just thought that a little publicity from the man who refused to even acknowledge marriage would make everyone's head spin. If I had known -"

"It's fine," I said softly. "I'll deal with him." I got up once more, walking towards the door and putting my hand on the doorknob, stopping when I heard his voice.

"Lil?"

"Yeah?"

"The thing you two have, it's just friendly, right?"

I cocked my head to the side, curious. "He's my best friend, Rob. Why?"

"It just ... you seem like you're more. I've noticed it the past few days."

I shrugged. "I just think he's been a lot more nurturing to me. Had a bad couple of days ... with my sister and all."

He nodded. "Well, I am sorry."

"I know, Rob. He'll get over it. He always does."

"We'll see."

I opened the door to the entertainment room, walking through it and towards the door in the corner of the room, knocking softly. "Jace?"

"It's open."

I turned the knob slowly, letting it fall open itself (the hinges sucked) and stepping in, the room dark except for the light peaking through the dark shades. He had bought black shades so that it would block the sun out more for the mid-day naps, and from the looks of it, they worked well. I had only been in his room a few times in the three years that he had been doing this, and they were always up when I entered. This time, it felt different, more serene. "You okay?"

He looked up from his spot on the edge of the bed, dropping his hands to his legs and letting his wrists dangle over his knees as he sighed deeply, shrugging. "I don't know. Should I be? Like, seriously? What if this ruins us, Lily? What if this all blows up and all we have left is us because everyone else hates us? What if I can't ever make music again because everyone refuses to buy my record?"

"Then," I said softly, leaning up against the door as I shut it, seeing him illuminated by the sunbeams, "we'll take on the world together. We'll ... go buy a private island and you can make whatever music you want and I'll just pick coconuts and design bras out of them with vine or something."

He chuckled slightly, extending his hand for me to take, he pulling me closer to him and leaning up against his knees as he toyed with the rocks on my hand, another sigh escaping. "I'm really beginning to rethink this. I don't know how you're staying so calm."

"I have faith," I said softly, he looking at me with an interested face, "you had all faith in me finding my way, and I have all my faith in you doing the same. Maybe this will be a bump in the road, maybe it'll be a sinking hole ... hell, maybe it'll be the best thing for your career. And then when people find out it had been annulled, or that we 'divorced', it'll be even better because people will take sympathy in your so-called heartbreak and listen to the music."

"Yeah, but that's where it sucks," he said softly, shaking his head. "I'll get all the fans again, get my music played, but it would still suck."

"Why?" I asked, swinging our hand slightly as I tried to get him to smile. "You'd be earning all this money, winning over all these people's hearts -"

"But I'd lose you."

"Oh." I bit my lip, sighing deeply. Either way, it seemed like it was going to be a losing game.

With a sigh, I looked down, watching as he slowly slid off both rings from my finger, taking the wedding band and then replacing the engagement ring to it's original spot. He smirked at my questioning gaze, putting my ring in his pocket. "You can't wear your wedding ring to your wedding," he smiled slightly, looking down and pulling his ring off, placing it in my hand. "Take care of it, or my wife will have your ass."

I grinned. "Well, you better not lose my wedding band or my husband will kick your ass."

"At least we can take this with light hearts, right? Or, somewhat light?"

I nodded. "We have to, now. We've gotta face it and just make the best of it."

"Even at my worst, my best was you ..." He sang as I shook my head, pushing away from him as Rob appeared, telling us that we were now at Alfred Angelo, and that I needed to go because they were waiting for me.

I sighed deeply, looking at him. "I'll see you later."

"Yeah, I'll be the one in the tux at the head of the altar. Youngest one there."

I laughed. "And I'll be the one in the gown."

He snapped his fingers, looking as if he got it. "Right! And don't forget the other dress, too."

I nodded. God, they owed me. At least, Rob owed me.

"Do you know your size, honey?"

"Top-wise or pants-wise?" I asked, she looking at me with a grin. What, I was supposed to know what size I wore for a bridal gown? When she responded, I sighed, shrugging. "10. Maybe a 12. I don't know."

"You look more like a ten," she said, cocking her head to the side and studying my hips. "Definitely a ten. You got the hips for birthin' babies, I hope he's wanting them!"

I blushed, rolling my eyes as she walked behind me, grabbing a measuring tape as I reached into my purse and pulled out my iPod. She could do whatever she wanted. I wanted out of this ridiculous world of dress-up.

Immediately, as I put it on shuffle, JC's song was the first one to appear. And the second. And the third. Oh, and the fourth. It probably didn't help that I had over 200 songs of his just floating around on the player, but I loved to listen to him (he already knew this) and it would keep my mind of the upcoming event.

"I think I have the perfect dress for you," the woman smiled, holding up a clear bag that held the dress. I undressed, letting her fit me for a strapless bra and then left me to put the bra on and pull the dress on, she coming in to lace the back up tightly, she humming to herself happily as I watched in the mirror, one hand holding the iPod and the other resting on my stomach, taking in the sight before me. It was truly crazy how different I looked - but it was an amazing different. I actually felt, well, beautiful. "This is definitely it," the woman smiled, seeing my face as I stood there, still staring in awe. "Hair up or down, honey? Tiara or veil?"

"Down, and a veil," I said, she nodding as she went to find one. It was crazy how well the dress fit; the first dress I put on was the first dress that I fell in love with. I felt a tear burn the corner of my eye as I thought of my future marriage, if it ever happened ... obviously I was not going to wear a dress that was 'for' JC, I'd have to find another one; would I feel the same way when I put one on?

The dress itself was what the tag called 'Diamond White', it a strapless gown with a 'pick-up' skirt (kind of almost scrunched up) and a corset top adorned with intricate beading and sequins in white and even whiter. The gown itself was a silk taffeta with metallic embroidered lace and a chapel trane that was longer than most I had ever seen.

"How about this one?"

I turned, pulling one earbud out of my ear as I looked at the veil, she putting it on top of my head and pinning it slightly so I'd have an idea of what it would look it. It hit mid-elbow and matched the dress perfectly. They must have known I was coming - everything was just ... amazing. I felt tears form in my eyes as she looked out me, lip jutted out. I wiped the tears away, shaking my head as she questioned what was wrong. "Nothing," I smiled, a complete lie. "Nothing at all."

"Excited to be marrying the man of your dreams, is that it?"

I paused, turning to look at her and nodding. It was only bittersweet to even partially admit that. I did have feelings for him, but at that moment, I was so lost that I didn't know if it was because of how he was handling everyting that I just took mercy on him or it was how he had treated me as a person. He was an old soul with a great life ahead of him and suddenly, this had happened.

"Ah, I love this song," the woman smiled, she clutching her hands underneath her chin. "If I got the chance to remarry, I'd dance to this song."

I pulled my other earbud out, setting it aside as I stepped up to the mirror, still not paying attention to the song. Would I ever have this chance again? Here I was, half-assing a marriage just to get someone I cared about his life where he wanted it; what about me? Would I ever have the life I dreamed of? Marriage? Babies? Living in that beautiful house overlooking a lake or ocean? Would I ever be able to get something I wanted for a change? Or would this be how the story goes? I save everyone else's life, but my own? God, I hoped not.

"You really look beautiful," the woman smiled. "And Vegas is so romantic - just to up and elope. Do you know where you are marrying?"

"No," I said softly, shaking my head. "We had it taken care of while we were on our way here. His job was taking us here so his ... manager was handling all the details."

"What's your name going to be, honey?"

"Lily Anne Hennessy-Chasez," I said, she smiling widely. It was only fair that I kept my maiden name. It was sort of a mockery of marriages everywhere. And then I felt it as the music played, the butterfly inducing, heart racing voice that I was going to be married to. She was right. If I ever married, I wanted this song. And he better be there to sing it for me.

I've loved you forever
In lifetimes before
And I promise you
Never will you hurt anymore

I give you my word
I give you my heart
This is a battle we've won
And with this vow
Forever has now begun

I wiped the tears away, watching as the woman tore the tag off, taking the card I handed to her as she went to ring it in. I was wearing this out of the shoppe, getting into a limo and getting my make-up and hair done at a salon only a few blocks away from the chapel. God, this was nerve-racking.

Just close your eyes
Each loving day
And know this feeling won't go away
Until the day my life is through
This I promise you
This I promise you

Over and over I fall
When I hear you call
Without you in my life, baby
I just wouldn't be living at all ...

I walked over to the shoes, picking a pair of heeled sandals that matched the beading on the dress, finding my size and slipping them on. The cocktail dress had been found and already put in the limo as the lady came back, handing me the card and receipt. "Congratulations," she smiled as she ran a hand up and down my arm. "Oh! Did you get your garter and something blue?"

I shook my head, watching as she walked away quickly, disappearing into the back for a brief moment as she opened a box, showing me a sapphire teardrop necklace, the sapphire larger than a half dollar. "Oh, my God," I said softly, shaking my head. "It's beautiful."

"Something old, something blue all taken care of here," she said softly as I looked at her weirdly. "This was in the store for so long - Mr. Angelo himself had used it in a fashion show years ago. It's about ten-years-old or so ... so not really old, but it does have old in it." She laughed, making a spinning motion with her finger and latching it as it fell gracefully on my collarbone. "And this," she said, pulling out a white and silver garter, holding it with her finger, "is the newest garter we have. Hasn't been put on the shelves yet."

I smiled widely, sitting down and accepting it from her and sliding it up to mid-thigh, her grin matching mine. "How much do I owe you?"

"Oh, don't worry about it, honey," the woman smiled. "I billed your fiance's manager."

I laughed. "That works, too. Thank you so much."

She nodded. "Congratulations and good luck with everything. I hope you have beautiful babies!"

I laughed, heart pounding as I stepped out into the dusk, the limo driver opening up his door and letting me in. In about ten minutes, I was being escorted into the salon, a very chipper man and woman greeting me and literally pulling me to the chair, talking excitedly.

"So you want it down? Down and curly? Oh, it'd be beautiful that way," he said in a speed so quick it took a minute to register. "Beautiful hair, beautiful face, my God, her man must be smoking hot!"

I smirked, nodding in agreement. Well, who was I to argue with on that comment? JC was hot. He was almost a frighteningly hot. "He is very attractive," I said finally, they both squealing in delight. It was then that I realized that they too, had no idea who I was marrying. It was good that way.

"So what's this hunk look like, huh? He got any gorgeous friends for me?"

"Or for me?" The woman laughed, plugging in the curling iron as they both took flat irons to my hair. "How old is he? What's his name? What's he look like?"

I was surprised at how talkative they were. Usually, I was in and out without so much of a 'hello' from a stylist. These ones, were totally different. "Well," I said, slightly stuttering on my words, "His name is Jay ... well, Josh. He's going to be 31 in a few weeks and isn't really looking forward to it. He's about an inch or two shy of six foot, deep blue eyes, short brown hair, muscular, but really skinny. He's athletically built, I guess. He's got amazing arms and hips and argh, his back ..." I stopped as they squealed, shocked at myself. I paid way too much attention to him. Way, way too much.

"And his name is Josh, huh? That's a sexy name," the man grinned. "My last boyfriend was Josh. We were the cutest couple: Joshy and Ricky. Gah, he was a gorgeous hunk of man flesh."

"Oh stop it," the woman laughed, she reaching forward and beginning to curl my hair as I closed my eyes, listening to them go back and forth with each other. I froze when I heard his name being mentioned.

"Yeah, my favorite man was taken off the market, I guess," the woman said as the guy stopped, looking apalled. "Married his assistant or something a few months back?"

"Who was this?"

"JC Chasez. God, he was gorgeous."

At least she agreed.

"Oh, that he was. Mmm, delicious. Is his asstant pretty?"

"She had good parts," she said as I felt my stomach sink. They were gonna tear me apart and they weren't even aware I was right there. "She was pretty, but you know me, a bit catty with most women, especially when they take good men off the market. Hey, she kind of looked like you," she smiled as I gave her a forced grin, she not noticing and still rambling. "Pretty short, curvier than most of Hollywood, that's for sure. Her boobs would put Scarlett to shame. And that's a good thing."

The man laughed, looking at me in the mirror. "You know who we're talking about?"

"Not the assistant," I remarked, shaking my head. "Just JC. Was a fan way, way back when."

"His newer stuff is good. Guess he's touring around here, too? I heard he'd be in Nevada, but not really sure when."

Now.

"Mmm, if only he was gay."

Definitely not.

I went into my own little world then, letting them drool over JC and the dozens of other men she happened to mention in seconds flat, the nerves suddenly starting. Regardless of if this was just for show, I was getting married tonight.

Oh, God.

"You must be Lily," he smiled, extending his hand and guiding me towards the back. "You're this way. The groom hasn't arrived yet, so we'll be keeping you in the Magnolia Chapel until he does. You look beautiful, my dear," he added, opening up the door and letting me in first. "Since it was by request that the area be closed for this ceremony at a very blessed amount, you may have your choosing of bouquets and the boutonnieres.

I nodded, looking at the roses, lilies and calla lilies alike. Suddenly, I was taken back to the flower shop, seeing JC with a wide grin as he handed me lilies, so proud of himself. "Lilies for the prettiest Lily of them all," he had said, my hand now touching the stems of the flowers, they a light blue. They were mine. "I would like these ones," I said softly, he nodding as he picked them up as I looked for his then, choosing a white lily.

"Mr. Gibson?"

We both turned, seeing a woman who was dressed in a black dress, she smiling sweetly at me and then back at him, "the groom is here. Do you have the boutonniere?"

"I do," he smiled, accepting it from my hand and leaving as the woman stayed behind, looking at me. "Nervous?"

"A little," I said, toying with the bouquet and then with my necklace. "Not too much. Might be a little more when I see him."

"Really? Usually it's the other way around: women think that their nerves go away when they see them."

I smiled, watching as the woman popped her head out the door, a smile on her face. "Ready?"

Inhaling, I gripped the bouquet and hoped that I didn't bend it with the pressure I had been giving it. "As ready as I'll ever be."

Here goes nothing.