I don't wanna be in love, I don't wanna feel this way
All I wanna do is leave ...
You ruined me for life

I could only smile as I pushed open the thick door, hearing the sweet melody on the piano as his fingers danced across the ivories. He was back at the beginning of the song, singing it with his eyes closed and head moving to the slow beat of the song. It actually kind of reminded me of Ray Charles, but without the sunglasses.

"What are you smiling at, pretty lady?"

I jumped slightly, startled that he had caught me. Grinning as he opened his eyes wider, still playing the notes but speaking to me instead. "I was picturing you as Ray Charles, actually."

He scoffed. "Good lord, so far off from him, it's unbelievable."

"You may think so, but you'll always be my favorite over anyone else."

He grinned, sliding down the piano bench slightly and patting it for me to sit down next to him. "Kira sleeping?" When I nodded, he reached down, taking my hand that was resting in my lap and placed it on the keys that his hand had been prior. He gently pressed and I immediately recognized the chord from a song based from ten years ago. He chuckled at the slow smile that formed on my face. "You already know it?"

"I can read you inside out like a book, Chasez," I chuckled, patting his cheek gently, "I know things that you probably think I don't know."

"Oh, yeah?" He arched an eyebrow, kissing my hand and then placing his hands back to the keys as I leaned into him, gently nudging him before sitting back up, intent on watching his fingers dance. "Enlighten me."

I grinned, looking at him, though slightly distracted by the sounds of the piano, he beginning to sing softly. "Well, for one, you like to test me."

He grinned, still singing as he shook his head in disbelief. "That's all you, my love."

I rolled my eyes, still smiling at him as I continued. "You secretly love waking up in the middle of the night for Kira. You hate mayonnaise, even though you claim you love it. You also secretly love watching 'Say Yes to the Dress' with me, even though you complain and would rather watch the Red Skins. You say your favorite color is black, but you really love orange because you're weird. You actually like watching Chick Flicks because most of the time, they are happy endings ... at least the ones you watch with me. I know that you hate getting older because you feel like you're aging quicker than anyone. You've got little lines at the side of your eyes when you really, really smile and it always brings a smile to my face. I originally wasn't supposed to work for you, but you urged them to hire me anyway -"

"How did you know that?"

I laughed. "Mike told me."

He rolled his eyes. "All right, go on."

"You want to move back to Bowie. You changed your mind about children the moment you started playing with my nephews. Our nephews. You were a high honor student in high school and hated it. You were glad the Mickey Mouse Club ended. You almost didn't join *NSYNC until Justin and Chris talked you into staying. You have a four octave range that could almost be five but it would strain your vocal chords. You prefer to sing ballads over poppy songs. You hated Celebrity because at the end of the day, you knew that it was the last you'd record with all four of the guys. You secretly wanted Kira to be a boy. You're contemplating growing your hair out again."

He chuckled, putting a hand to my mouth to silence me. "Okay, point taken." He leaned to the side, placing a kiss to my cheek as he continued to sing, voice growing louder as I felt my heart race, the smile growing as fond memories came rushing back of me as a late teenager, early twenty-something when the album came out, his voice rattling around in my brain.

I leaned into him, placing a kiss to his shoulder as he continued to play and sing, closing my eyes and letting him take off into daydreams, complete with just the two of them and his voice leading the way.

"You know what I feel like right now?"

I lifted my head up just enough to see his lips, looking at him curiously. "What's that?"

Wordlessly, he reached for my hand, pulling me to a standing position as he pushed the piano bench slightly further back, placing my body in front of his. He released my hand, letting his own slide up my thighs and over my hips, smoothing against the skin that was revealed when his hands went further up. He pressed down on my hips, making me sit on the keys and laughing when they screeched, his face serious as he leaned forward, kissing my neck. "Pretty Woman."

"You feel like a pretty woman?" I raised an eyebrow at him, giving him a teasing smile. "Okay, so there is one thing I didn't know about ..."

"You're funny," he said lowly, voice dangerous as his mouth closed over the spot just below my ear, eyes fluttering closed. "No, the scene in the movie with them on the piano ..."

"You wanna make out with me on the piano?"

"No," he murmured, hands sliding down just enough so that they were holding onto the sides of my breasts, "I want to make love to you on the piano."

I couldn't help but grin, hands gripping the back of his head as I pulled him closer to me, slightly shrugging in response. "I think I can make that happen."

"Well, I know I can," he stated, pressing up against me, my head falling back slightly at the instantaneous rush I felt against his body. "Just as long as you are a willing participant ..."

I smiled, letting one of my hands circle around his head and over his face, gently touching the lines near his eyes, the softness of his skin underneath of them and then slowly running my finger over his bottom lip. "With you, I'm more than willing."

He smiled warmly, leaning forward and pressing his lips to mine, hands slowly going to work on the belted tunic I had been wearing, breaking the kiss just long enough to pull it up and over my head, tossing it behind the piano. His mouth met mine once more, passionate and deep, hands touching every bit of skin gently and running his fingers over the lace of my bra, his mouth slowly maneuvering down over my neck to my collarbone and then to the swell of my breasts, he smiling against my skin. "You know I love you, right?"

I reached down, tipping his chin up with my finger and looking at him curiously. "Of course I do. Why?"

"I just, I feel as if I don't say it enough."

"Well you do, and it's loud and clear," I said, smiling as he kissed my belly, placing his forehead to my skin and he breathed deeply. "So you don't have to worry about that."

He smiled, bringing himself up and letting his hand drag down my throat as he leaned so I arched back, he lifting me by the back of the thighs up onto the piano, he following soon after and leaning above me, pulling his shirt over his head and working his pants off as mine followed. "I love you."

I reached upward, cupping the back of his head as I pulled his mouth towards mine, studying his features. "I love you, too."



I looked up from feeding Kira, hearing a delivery truck pull into the drive, pressing the intercom button to be let through. "Jace, did you order something?"

"It might be the new strings Justin sent," he called from the bathroom, having just gotten out of the shower. "He said they should be coming within the day or two."

I set my daughter back onto the tummy time pad, she lying on her back and watching all the toys that hung above her. I greeted the delivery man as he stepped up to the front porch, handing me an electronic signing pad. I thanked him, taking the box inside. It was addressed to neither one of us, just given last name. Rob's name was on the return address, it causing me to roll my eyes at the mere sight of it.

I set it down on the coffee table, gripping the tape from one side and pulling, laughing at Kira's slight jump at the sound, her eyes watching what I did curiously. It was a heavy yellow packing envelope, a sticky note stuck to it. Lifting it up and out of the box, I pushed the box aside and read the note, confused.

I got them to rush the processing.
Just sign the 'x' and it's done.
Rob

What was done? The paparazzi? The rumors?

"Hey, you wanna order a pizza tonight?"

I looked up, seeing him walking down the hallway as I nodded. "Sure, sounds good." Removing the metal pieces that kept the envelope closed, I pulled out a thick pack of paper, eyes widening and my stomach dropping as I read the top of the first sheet.

Dissolution of Marriage

Matrimonial Issues

Between Joshua Scott Chasez, Petitioner
and Lily Anne Hennessy-Chasez, Respondent

Reason for filing: Fraud


Fraud?! What?!

"Do you want to get it from Giovanni's or Votel-" He stopped, seeing me as I held the packet in one hand with an incredulous look on my face. "What?"

"The fuck is this?"

"I don't know," he said, voice unsure as he stepped forward, taking the papers as I felt tears form in my eyes. He was really going to lie to my face like this? Really?! I watched his eyes grow large as he took in every single word that I had just read, his rough swallow heard as I waited for an explanation.

"Lily, I -"

"Didn't want me to find out this way, huh? Gonna sweet talk me some more, get some more sex, maybe butter me up a little more before you told me? Buy a house, feed me more lies, let me believe that you and I were going to really work and then just lay this shit on me? Is that what that was? Huh?!"

"Lily, no!"

"I can't even look at you right now," I murmured, the nausea filling up in my throat as I yanked the papers from his hand, reaching over towards the end table and grabbing the pen that rested next to the paperwork he had been filling out earlier. "You want a divorce? Fine. You've got it. Sign the god damn papers and we're done, through." I pressed so hard when I signed my name that the paper ripped, but I didn't care. I wasn't going to stick around, I wasn't going to argue with him; it wasn't worth it. I had a daughter, I had to protect her. "There's your fucking divorce."

"Lily Anne, please, you gotta let me explain this! This is not what I wanted!"

"Right, and your name is just on those papers for fun, huh? So I'm a fraud, huh? Well, asshole, it takes two!" I stormed down the hallway and towards the stairs, heading directly towards Kira's room. I grabbed her diaper bag, stuffing what I could fit in there before grabbing another handfull of things, along with diapers, and headed into our bedroom, no, his, and began shoving her things, along with some of mine, into a large duffle.

"Do you honestly think I want to let you go? Let this marriage go?!"

I turned, looking at him as he stood, helpless in the doorway. "I honestly don't know what to think of you anymore, JC," I snapped, zipping it up just as quickly as I had opened it, throwing it around my shoulder along with the diaper bag and pushed past him, storming down the stairs. "House is gonna be might big for just one person; but then again, with your fucking ego, you might have to relocate to somewhere bigger."

"You can't leave -"

"I'm out, JC," I snapped, leaning down and reaching for my daughter, he beating me to it and taking her, trying to calm her cries as he looked at me, eyes wide and filled with tears. "Give me my baby."

"No," he said, shaking his head, "I'm not letting you take her away from me. I'm not letting you leave -"

"Give me my child before I call the police."

"Lily -"

"Give me my baby!" I started to cry then, Kira's tears and his tears just egging me on. I reached for her, pulling her out of his grip and hugging her to me. "Stay the hell away from me, Chasez. Stay the hell away from Kira, from my family. You're dead to me." I turned to go, his hand shooting out and grabbing my bicep, tears falling down his face. "Get. Off."

"Do you honestly think I don't love you anymore? That I actually filed those? Lily, please, you know me!"

"No," I said softly, trying to calm my tears so that I didn't begin to hyperventilate, "I thought I did." I yanked my arm out of his grip, walking quickly away from him and towards the outside.

How could my day from something amazing to total shit in a matter of hours? How could the one man be someone I saw spending the rest of my life with to the man I hardly knew? It felt like things were being fucked up from the outside, that he, once again, had strings and I was just along for the ride until the Master took control.

All I knew, was that I couldn't be there anymore. Not when lies were being fed, not when he couldn't even look me in the eye and tell me the truth.

"Lily, please!"

I made the mistake of turning to look at him once I had buckled Kira into the car seat, my heart breaking and tears flowing as I saw his own tears, he nearly sobbing as he stood only inches away from me. "Stop, JC, just stop ..."

"I love you," he stated, enunciating each word. "I fucking love you! There has to be a reason this came, and it is not from me!"

"Stop making excuses," I said, shaking my head, "stop lying to me, to yourself. You've made excuses from day one and the only good thing I got out of the deal with that little girl in the backseat who will never know her father because I refuse to let her be around someone who can't even be honest with himself." I put myself in the car, slamming the door and locking it. I caught glimpse of him in the window, he still begging me to get out and stay. I buckled my seatbelt and threw the car into reverse. I couldn't look at him the same anymore, I just couldn't.

He crumpled body at the top of the drive was the last thing I saw in the rearview mirror.