"You know," I said loudly (though it was more like a whisper in the loudness of the club) into JC's ear, he leaning into my face to hear me, "it's a wonder, being surrounded by all this smoke and all these drunks why I don't do either; I've always wanted to make an ass out of myself and smell like an ashtray."

"Hey, hey," he laughed, gripping my waist as he stepped closer to me, letting someone pass, "I drink. You calling me an ass?"

"Well," I grinned, he giving me a look as I laughed, we both standing in the back as a man set up the stage further ahead of us. "Up front or to the bar, Sparky?"

He licked his lips, surveying the area. "How about the bar for a while? I could go for a beer or two."

I nodded, letting him loosely grab my hand to lead me through the pack of people who were nearly elbow to elbow. We both slid onto a stool next to each other, he ordering a Bud Light for himself and looked at me for a direction. "I'll take one, I guess." I said, nodding towards the Bud Light that was set in front of him. One couldn't hurt. He looked at me weirdly, still turning to say what I had said to him to the bartender, he reaching below him and grabbing a bottle, popping the top for me and placing it in front of me. As I sipped it, JC looked at me, eyebrow raised. "What?"

"I thought you didn't drink?"

"Jace," I said, leaning into him so he could hear, "look at us. Then look at them. I feel like a fool. I may as well do something foolish to make myself feel a bit better about it."

"Why do you feel like a fool?"

"Look how we're dressed and then look at how they're dressed!"

JC turned his head, grinning. It was true, though: he was dressed in the t-shirt and jeans he had bought earlier in the morning and I was wearing the floral tank with my own pair of jeans. Compared to everyone else, we were completely ... dressed up. Everyone else was in jeans that looked as if they had been either acid-washed, been through a wore, or darker than midnight. Not to mention, it was fishnet tops, bikini tops or halters that barely covered anything. And the shoes, by God, don't get me started on the shoes ...

"Well, you know, you're right," he said, finally, finishing up his beer as I hadn't even gotten a gulp in yet and signalling for another, "but that's the good part about it."

"What is?" I asked, following him as he slid off the chair, extending his arm for me to loop mine through as he led me towards the side of the stage so we'd see my sister better, seeing the band slowly come onto the stage, "that we actually look ... normal?"

He laughed, shaking his head as he pulled me closer, away from the mob that had settled in front of the stage and were already slamming each other with the music playing from overhead. "No," he replied, stepping behind me so that I was closer, his arms resting on my shoulders as he took a swig of his beer, "the good part is, is we're the best looking people here."

"You may be, but -"

"You look good, Lily," he assured, "didn't know you had the boobs, but you definitely fooled me!"

"Shut up, Chasez," I mumbled, taking a large drink of my beer and letting it settle into my head. I was a lightweight, and this is why I don't drink. Give me two or three more, I'd feel it. A lot.

But maybe that wasn't such a bad idea.

"That's your sister?" JC asked as I spotted Charlotte stepping onto the stage, wide smile as she scanned the crowd, suddenly catching my gaze as she waved. "She's gorgeous!"

"Yeah, I know," I mumbled, still looking at my sister. Suddenly, jealousy had kicked in. She had black skinny jeans on with red high heels and a red t-shirt top that draped over one shoulder, the hints of a black tank top underneath showing. Though it wouldn't be my choice in fashion, she did look good. She had every man's attention the moment she took the stage.

I'm looking forward to at least four more beers at this rate.

"I'm going to get another drink," I said, leaning backward to say something to JC as he nodded, still staring up at my sister like he had suddenly found what he always been looking for. Great. Not only was the engaged one getting more attention, but the lone single (who didn't choose to be with more than one guy, really) was getting nothing.

"Hey, baby!"

I turned my head, rolling my eyes as I saw a drunk stumble towards me. He really wasn't my type; let alone any desperate woman's type. I nodded a 'hello' to him, stepping back up to the bar and ordering another beer for myself and another for JC. At least we weren't driving.

"Hey, baby, I was talking to you!"

I turned to see the drunk standing behind me, eyes devouring me as I stood up, disgusted. "And I was ignoring you," I said sternly, loud enough for him to hear but not loud enough to embarass him. "Sorry."

"Oh, that's fine, you weren't that pretty anyway!"

I felt the familiar pang in my heart, shaking it away as I stepped into the crowd once more and pushing my way towards JC. He looked over at me as I stood in front of him once more, accepted the beer graciously. "Thank you!"

I nodded, looking up and seeing my sister smiling at me, feeling JC's arms on my shoulders once more as he leaned up against me, using me as a counter of sorts.

Great. Not only was I the un-pretty one, but I was also now a piece of kitchen furniture.

"Lily?"

I turned my head, looking at JC as he studied me, arching an eyebrow. "What?"

"You okay?"

I gave him a look, he looking almost as if he could feel the tension in my body. Well, maybe he could. Here I was, with a man I was pretty sure I had a secret crush on, back to chest (and quite tightly) and was told I wasn't even that pretty. Even if I was pretty, just not that pretty, it was still a blow to the ego, especially when my drop dead gorgeous sister was only about fifteen feet away. No, I was fine.

"I'm good," I nodded, turning my head and just drinking the beer, swallowing, then pausing and repeating the process. Maybe I would become a drinker. Maybe I'd be the old lady who was an alcoholic and talked to her pets like they were her children.

Yeah, that would totally be me.

I felt his hands grip my shoulders, kneading them somewhat firmly as I cringed, hissing out as he hit a sore spot, the tension nearly unbearable now with the pressure he had put on it. "Damn, Jace, you had to do that, didn't you?"

"You're tense, Lils; something is bothering you."

"You. You are bothering me. I'm trying to watch my obviously prettier than me sister."

"Lily," I heard him say lowly, though loudly over the music. "Do we seriously have to go there right now?"

"No. No, we don't have to go anywhere." I chugged the rest of my beer, breaking away from him and heading for another. Maybe I'd double fist it. Screw giving him any. My head was already light and I pretty much felt nothing below my feet at the moment.

God, never drinking really does make you a horrible drunk.

 "Whoa, easy there, killer," Charlotte grinned as she grabbed my arm. Had the outside suddenly begun spinning? "How much did you drink, LiLi?"

"Argh, don't call me that," I mumbled, hearing JC chuckled from behind me.

"LiLi?"

"Childhood nickname," I murmured, sitting down on the sidewalk as Charlotte sat next to me, her arm resting on my knees as she looked at me. "What?" I could feel the alcohol churning in my system. God, never, ever again ...

"You don't drink."

"So?"

"So ... you're drunk," she stated.

"Score one for Captain Obvious," I mumbled, she pinching the skin just above my knee as I cried out. "What the hell did you do that for?"

"You don't drink."

"You wanna repeat that again? I gotta remember it for the quiz tomorrow."

"Wow," JC said from behind the two of us to no one in particular. "Is this why she doesn't drink? She gets mean?"

"She's only been drunk twice," Charlotte stated, glancing back at he and Jeremy as she smirked. I really wanted to wipe it off her face at that moment, "she's actually more touchy-feely when she does it."

"Oh," JC said, quieting once more as he heard his cell phone. "We still going out? I know a few places that will be open for a while ..."

"Sure, why not," Charlotte grinned, getting up and pulling me with her. "You look banging, Li," she stated, my own sister checking me out. God, I felt incestual. "Really. Who knew you'd show off your tits like you are now?"

I looked down, pulling the top up and mumbling something I wasn't even sure I had mumbled. "Of course, God had to give them to me and no one else in the God-forsaken family," I mumbled, Charlotte, reaching down and squeezing my hand. "You all got the asses. I'd rather have them than these."

"I'll gladly switch you," Charlotte grinned, Jeremy and JC both laughing. "Come on, drunky, let's go hit the club."

"Only if you get drunk, too," I mumbled, feeling a bit better than earlier, the world not spinning anymore. My head felt disconnected to my head, though. Kind of cool.

"Come on, Lils," JC grinned, stepping up to me and letting me loop my arm around his, leaning up against his bicep as he led me ahead of Charlotte and Jeremy. He smelled good.

"Oh, look, Jeremy," Charlotte said from behind us, JC and I both pausing to look at what she was pointing out, "if we ever become famous, we'll have them, too!"

I heard JC chuckle slightly, looking over at me as a few men with cameras appeared, taking our pictures and hollering questions back at JC. He answered them as quickly as they came, though, I felt the relief flow through his body as we stopped in front of yet another club, he pushing me inside before any more photos could be taken of him.

"You're not gonna drink anymore, are you?" JC asked as we walked further into the club, my sister gripping one hand as JC still escorted me through the club. "I'm gonna go get drinks for us all. Why don't you go up to VIP? Find someone we know."

"I want something," I said, seeing all the women flocking towards him as we stood there. God, beautiful women made me sick. My sister makes me sick. Better yet, my sisters made me sick. "Something really strong."

"Lily -"

"Just get it," I stated, releasing my hand from around his arm, leading my sister and Jeremy up to VIP as JC ducked out of view from us towards the bar. The area was roped off, but as we approached it, the bouncer recognized me, immediately greeting me and opening it up for us. "You with C again?"

"Yeah, he's getting drinks," I smiled, thanking him as he let us pass, shocked to see not many people there. "Where is everybody?"

"Les Deux," he said, rolling his eyes. "They think JC's there." With that, he grinned a 'ha-ha' sort of grin, crossing his arms once again and watching the dancers. "You drunk, Lily?"

"What? No," I said quickly, sitting down and nearly missing the chair. "Okay, maybe a little," I said, shrugging as Charlotte sat down next to me, Jeremy looking around the entire club. "You played awesome tonight, Char," I said, trying to get my mind off of the swimming feeling still going on in my head, "really. I'm glad I came."

"You think?" She asked, looking at me with a look of pure satisfaction on her face. "You liked it?"

"Well, yeah," I said, nodding. "I mean, your music isn't exactly what I listen to, but you sounded amazing. And you did really well, too, Jeremy."

"Thanks," he smiled. "So this JC guy. You work for him, right?"

"Yeah," I nodded, watching as he leaned up against the wall. "I'm his assistant. I have been for three years."

"So why does Charlotte call him 'loverboy'?"

Charlotte laughed at this, while I sat there, looking at the two of them with a not-so-amused look on my face. "I don't know. All he is, is a friend."

"He's pretty comfortable with you."

"Well, that's usually how friendships go," I said, looking at him weirdly. "If you weren't comfortable with someone, why be their friend?"

"Because maybe he's trying to make himself comfortable between the friend and friendlier categories," Charlotte stated, studying her red nails. "Jeremy did."

"Well, he's not Jeremy -"

"Who's not Jeremy?"

We all looked up, seeing JC walk in with four bottles of beer in his hands, Jeremy grabbing two to help him out. "Oh, his brother," I said quickly, Charlotte jabbing me in the chest as I cried out, JC looking at us both, puzzled. "They act different."

"Oh, well, good show tonight, man," JC said, smiling as he sat down next to me, handing me a beer and then wrapping his arm around my shoulder as he drank, me getting a knowing look from Jeremy as Charlotte laughed a little beside me.

"Thanks," Jeremy said, taking a swig of his own beer as he looked at JC. "You two caused quite a stir backstage."

"Why's that?" He asked curiously, looking at both Charlotte and Jeremy. "Because of how we were dressed?"

"Well, that and you were JC Chasez with my sister," Charlotte laughed. "Jeremy and I went backstage and the two stagehands were talking about some 'hot chick' with some 'pop star' and we knew it had to be you two," she laughed. "Lily, you were the hot chick."

"Surprising," I mumbled, getting up and sourly remembering the 'not that pretty' comment. "I'm going to get another drink."

"You're not even done with that one," JC stated, looking at me weirdly. "Lily -"

"I want another one," I mumbled, stepping away before he could say another word. I heard Charlotte call after me, or maybe even just mention my name, but I was already heading down the stairs of the VIP and out towards the dance floor, mind set on the bar that was yards away. I don't drink.

I don't drink, I don't drink, I don't drink ...

"You don't drink!"

I stopped mid-step, seeing JC closing in on me with his hand hanging down by his thigh, holding the neck of the beer bottle. "Today, I do!"

"Lily," he said, voice slightly annoyed. "What's going on with you, huh? You don't even like alcohol."

"Today," I repeated, "I do." I felt his stronger hand latch onto mine, the contrasting skins feeling shockingly comfortable as he pulled me to him, pulling me away from the bar and further away from my destination as he took me to the dance floor, setting his drink on a subwoofer. "I want my drink -"

"And I want you to dance with me and forget about the drink," he said in my ear, putting the arm that held the beer around my waist before I could argue, pulling me hip-to-hip and taking his free hand to bring my arms up around his shoulders. "What's going on with you, huh? This isn't like you."

"I know," I mumbled, closing my eyes and feeling the floor spin as I placed my head on his chest, willing the spinning to stop yet again. I felt his hot breath on my neck as he lowered his own head, forehead against my shoulder. "Just not feeling happy today, I guess."

"You've got me," he said softly, kissing the curve of my neck and leaving a heat impression. "And your sister is here to see you -"

"I know." I opened my eyes turning my head slightly so that I could see his chin and mouth, stubble growing on the sides of his face. "It's just -"

"You get like this every time one of your sisters are around," he said knowingly. "It's almost as if you try to hide yourself from reality or something."

"The reality is, is that all four of my sisters are beautiful and amazing and then there's me. The plain Jane girl who no one ever pays attention to because I'm not the Hennessy."

"You are a Hennessy, just like they are," he stated. "There isn't the Hennessy. You are sisters, not competitors. Not one of them are thinking that they aren't just as pretty as the other -"

"No, because they know I'm the ugly duckling."

"Oh, that's bullshit and you and I both know that."

I scoffed, he pulling away and looking at me with a sad look in his eyes. "You don't need to lighten the load, Jace. I know what I've been given."

"This isn't the place to talk about stuff like this," he stated, placing his forehead against mine, we both locking eyes. "Just know that no matter what you think of yourself, there is one man out there who is gonna think the world of you."

"And I'll find him some day, blah blah blah -"

"Oh, come on, Lily!" He pulled away from me, shaking his head in disbelief. "Are you really gonna start this? Are you really gonna put yourself down because your luck isn't all it's been cracked up to be? Well, la-di-fucking-da! Not everyone can be a singer like Charlotte, or an intelligent professor like Isabelle and not everyone can just get a man by saying 'hi' like Delaney and Lucy! But that's fine, because you know why?! Not every man is looking for someone who can do something better than them, recite the dictionary or make a book about all their conquests, okay?! Most men want a woman like you, but it takes them a while to realize that! Most men want a woman who is as smart as she is beautiful and as witty as she is kind! One day, you'll see that; one day you're gonna thank me and you know what? I won't be there because I'm sick of having to reassure of you the stuff that you know is common knowledge!" With that, he left me standing on the dance floor alone, he storming back off up to VIP.

I watched him disappear, slowly pulling myself out of the crowd and towards the door. Not only was I drunk, but now I was depressed. I had pissed off the closest person I had in seconds flat and now, besides the pity party I was throwing myself, I could now throw a 'I'm ridiculously stupid' party. Great mix.

I pushed open the bar door, hailing a taxi cab and waiting until it came to a complete stop, sitting down and telling him where to go. In dead silence, I pulled out my phone, calling my sister. Of course, she didn't answer, but I didn't blame her (though I really don't know if she was angry or it was the loud music at that point; nor did I care).

"Hey, Char," I said softly, leaning my head back and looking up at the falling apart ceiling of the taxi cab, "I'm sorry. I had to go. I'm not feeling well and well, I'm not really liking myself right now. I know you're here until tomorrow evening so come visit me at the hotel if you're not angry. Or don't, I guess. I love you." I hung up the phone, sighing deeply and angrily and shut my eyes. I felt the bile forming in my stomach just then, sure that I was sick from the alcohol and just sick of myself in general.

Talk about making yourself sick.