"You're going to brave the world and go out with the baby? By yourself?"

I cradled my cell phone to my ear and shoulder, buckling my awake but quiet baby into her carseat, pulling on the cover so that her face wasn't visible through any of the windows. JC and I had already had a problem going back to the hospital to get her jaundice levels checked two days after we came home, they all trying to get a photo of her to put on their magazine covers. We weren't going to have a repeat of that. "Yeah," I said, smiling down at her as she let out a dramatic yawn, it silent but cute to witness. "I can't stay hibernating in the house just because Jace isn't here. We both have lives outside of being parents -"

"That life was the two of you together, baby or not," Lucy replied as I laughed, she telling the truth, "I mean it! You were his assistant before the two of you got together. Then, you were his assistant and his wife. Now, you're his assistant, wife, and mother of his baby. If you weren't tied to him before, you are now."

Closing the car door, I got in myself, putting the key in the ignition as I shrugged. It was hot for May. "You're talking as if we are split up or something."

"No, I just mean ... God, I know what I mean in my head, but I don't know how to say it to you."

"Make me feel stupid, Luce," I rolled my eyes as I got in the car fully, staring the car and closing the door, putting my seatbelt on before I reached forward, putting the phone on the stand and putting it on speakerphone. I was more cautious now after realizing that my baby was in a car with me that I could wreck. "What are you talking about?"

"I just mean ... you're tied to a celebrity. Regardless of where he is, you are now a target for photos. Especially now that you have a baby. Just be careful. I don't want Kira getting hurt."

"I'm not gonna let her get hurt, it'd be over my dead body."

"I know, I just - people can get very pushy and demanding, Lily."

"I've been working in this industry under JC for the past what ... at least four years," I said, backing the car out and heading towards the city, "I know it's demanding. You don't have to preach to the already knowing choir." In fact, knowing was already an understatement for us. It had been nearly a month since Kira had been born, life going on as it would normally go, though JC's absence was felt more often than not with the promotion of his album. Since it was more successful than he had imagined it being, it meant more promotion, more time away from home. But, in another week, he'd be home to spend two with us and then pack up Kira and I both for another trip to Vegas where he was performing.

"How is my beautiful baby, anyway?"

I peered into the mirror, catching glimpse of the dark hair that moved every so often, the sun peaking between the spaces from the top of the seat. "Good," I smiled. Proud mother, I was. "Still sleeping for three hours every night and eating and then going back to sleep. I finally figured out the schedule." Lucy laughed. "And her hair hasn't fallen out yet, though it does seem to be getting ready to. It's too perfect to last much longer. I've got a bow in her hair and my God, I think I was more excited about that than anything in my life."

Lucy laughed again, she saying something to someone in the background. "Well, give her a kiss for me. I have to go back to work. Call me sometime in the week, okay? I love you. Bye!"

With a smirk, I said my goodbye and reached over, hitting the 'end' button before pulling into the gas station, turning the car off and glancing into the back, Kira already half asleep. Oh, to have the life of a newborn. Getting out of the car, I tugged on my black top, most of the baby weight off, though still battling the last ten pounds or so of baby that didn't want to leave my tummy for some unknown reason.

And then I heard a click. And then another. With an inward groan, I looked through the tinted windows of the car, thankful that JC had thought of tinting them before he left and that I had covered Kira well enough that she was only visible from the belly down, though covered with a light blanket. I put my credit card in my mouth, opening the door and taking the blanket to cover the entire car seat so that nothing was seen, closing the door and continuing with my business. The one photographer soon turned into two, then to three and then to four. It was almost as if they were flies attracted to shit. I really didn't know where they were coming from.

"Lily, how are you feeling?"

I jumped at the voice, dropping my card and quickly bending to pick it up, meeting the gaze of the man that had asked me the question. "I'm feeling terrific, thank you."

"And the baby, how is he?"

"She," I corrected, the man apologizing quickly as I shrugged, "she's doing well. Growing quickly and very healthy."

"And how old is she now?"

"Twenty nine days old," I stated, still surprised how fast time had flown. "She'll be a month tomorrow."

"And how is JC? How's he doing as a father?"

I finished pumping the gas, putting the nozzle back as I turned to look at them, hand tugging at my shirt self-consciously. "He's doing well; in New York right now promoting his album. He should be home soon. He's an amazing father. Misses our baby like crazy."

"And you?"

I looked at them, confused. "What about me?"

"With all the marriage rumors, how are the two of you doing?"

"Look," I said, voice firm. Okay, so I know it had been a scam in the beginning, but it was real nonetheless and I was sick of having to defend it. "JC and I married on July 28th of last year in Vegas. It may not have been the most amazing wedding, but it was official, we have a certificate and we have witnesses. It was on a whim, and just because no one caught wind of it until after, does not give it any less validity than a wedding with photos released to OK! or People; which we did months later. JC is a private person, as am I. We didn't feel the need to share our happiness until we got to celebrate ourselves. He and I both know we're bound together and that's enough for us. I love him more than I did when we got married, and he loves me. That's all that matters. Not some tabloid. Now, I must go." I turned, opening up my car door and starting it quickly, pulling out and heading down the road away from them.

I hit speed dial two, listening to it ring as I glanced back, Kira fussing slightly as I reached back, feeling around for the pacifier before easing it into her mouth. I heard his tired, yet cheerful voice greet me, bringing a smile to my face. "Hey, baby."

"Hey," he said softly, "whatchu doing?"

"Driving around with Kira," I said, he humming in response, "got nailed by paparazzi yet again -"

"Lily," he said softly, "I don't want you to be around them -"

"Jace, it's fine," I pressed, smirking at his concern, "Kira was in the car, covered. I was just at the gas station pumping gas and then they starting asking questions -"

"Questions? What kind of questions?"

"How I was doing, how Kira was doing. They asked about you and how you were as a daddy."

"Harmless enough."

"Yeah, and then they asked how I was doing with all the marriage stuff going on."

"Lily ..."

"I kind of got pissy with them," I said, cringing as I heard him sigh deeply. "I'm sorry, I'm just sick of all of it and -"

"Then just don't answer them. Ignore it!"

"Easy for you to say," I mumbled, turning the car down to Rodeo drive. "You didn't have a camera in your face."

"Um, hello? What do you think happens to me daily?"

"What do you think doesn't happen to me daily?!" I stopped at a redlight, pulling down the blanket and fixing the top of the carseat, Kira's eyes closed and sucking contently at the pacifier. "I'm sorry, but I had the motherly instinct kick in. They kept getting closer and I didn't want them pressed up against the window trying to get a photo of our daughter."

"No, I'm sorry. I know it's stressful dealing with a newborn and I'm nowhere in sight -"

"No kidding."

"Lily," he said softly, "you know I want to be there. God, I want to be there more than I want to be here, but I can't. I have a job to do, bills to pay, a family to take care of."

"A family that you haven't seen for almost three weeks. JC, you haven't seen your daughter for more than one week out of her four weeks of life."

"Look, you chose to get involved -"

"Right. And I chose to have your sperm impregnate me," I snapped, he groaning on the other line. "What, Josh, what? What are you groaning about?"

"I'm not arguing about this again, Lily. Yes, she was unplanned, but I wanted her. You wanted her. This isn't some art piece we're discussing on putting in the house, it's our daughter."

"I'm well aware of what she is."

"Are you aware of what we are, then?!"

"I'm not fighting with you, JC." I reached forward, pressing the end button, tears burning my eyes. Seriously, the whole postpartum thing was going to kill me. Not having him around, having to wake up by myself with a small baby who thought crying at night was the best thing really wore me down straight to the bone. I picked fights with him everytime I was on the phone with him, never wanting him to be the one to hang up with me, only my way or the highway.

I jumped when a car horn alerted me to continue driving, looking up and seeing a green light. I pulled into the closest store, parking the car and placing my head on the steering wheel. Okay, so maybe I should have stayed home. But then again, I should just stay home every day if it promises to be like this one. Tears fell silently down my face, phone ringing yet again as I looked up, JC's name glowing. I pulled the phone away from the stand, answering it. "What?"

"I'm coming home."

"What, JC, no," I sniffed, reaching up and wiping my eyes as I heard him sigh deeply. "You've got stuff to do ..."

"I've got more important things than this," he said softly. "Baby, let me come home and be with you. Even if it's just for a few hours, I'll be there. I'm already on my way to the airport. I called Rob and told them that they needed to cancel the radio interview, to tell them I had fallen ill. I miss you. I miss Kira. I just want to be able to hold her, hold you and not have to close my eyes to imagine it."

"You don't have to come now ..." I looked up, voice trailing off as I studied my pale complexion in the mirror. I was happy, yes; happy and exhausted: completely and utterly exhausted. I didn't know how all those single moms' out there did it, but I gave them a lot of credit. "It's only a week away."

"I'm not arguing about this, Lil; I want to be home with you. I shouldn't be out doing this when my wife just had a baby and is taking care of her by herself. I should be home waiting on you, not the media."

"Jace -"

"I'll see you later on tonight when I get in," he said softly, voice cutting me off before I could argue any more, "I love you." With that, he hung up on me.

I pulled the phone away from my ear, looking at it in shock. I don't think he had ever hung up on me without letting me say goodbye.

I heard a click. Followed by two more. And more. Looking over quickly, I saw the cameras nearly pressed to the windows of the driver's side. They seriously never stopped. Groaning, I threw the car into reverse, maneuvering away from them without injuring any of them (though at that point, I would have if my child wasn't in the car) and pulling back onto the highway towards home.

I held a crying Kira against my breast, blanket over her head to shield her from the sun as I shoved the key into the door, pushing it open and bouncing to soothe my child. "It's okay baby, we're home." I shut and locked the door, tossing the keys onto the table along with my purse. I pulled the blanket off, her thinning dark hair sticking straight up as I smiled, holding her up and supporting her neck with my fingers, she at eye level as I spoke to her, trying to soothe her cries, my voice almost instantly calming her as she forced her eyes open, meeting my own. "See, baby girl, mama didn't go anywhere." I pulled her close to me, placing a tender kiss to her forehead. The love for JC did not compare to the love I had for my child. I would do anything for her, even if it meant putting my life on the line or leaving the life I knew to make sure she was safe.

I just prayed it never came to that.

I woke up some time later, curled into a fetal position with the blankets devouring me and my daughter nowhere to be seen. I shot up, the room dark with the exception of the small light in the corner from the room freshener, scrambling to my feet and nearly knocking my head on the end of the bed as I fell from being tangled in the sheets. "Kira?!" I froze, the door slightly open. When I had come upstairs to go to bed with my sleeping baby, the door had been closed. Odd.

But then it had hit me. JC was home.

And again, the post-pregnancy horomones began ravaging my body, emotional tears filling my eyes as I pulled open the door, the thought of not seeing him making my heart ache. I suddenly couldn't not see him. I needed to feel him.

I heard his voice in the nursery, it soft and calm, singing just above a whisper to our daughter, that alone making me freeze in the doorway. Feeling him would have to wait; I was not going to break this moment with his child.

He stood by the window, her head resting on his chest, a blanket draped over her back as his arm supported her bottom, the other stroking what hair was left before she lost it and grew much finer hair. I had always heard his voice before, but the tone he had taken on was so much different. The emotion was of love and adoration, rather than love, lust, pure want. This voice was in love with his daughter, already wrapped around her tiny little finger.

My mind made a mental shot of the moment, not ever wanting to forget it for as long as I lived. And hearing his voice, the words, I remembered why I put up with the life he lived.

Baby mine, don't you cry
Baby mine, dry your eyes
Rest your head close to my heart
Never to part, baby of mine

Little one, when you play
Pay no heed what they say
Let your eyes sparkle and shine
Never a tear, baby of mine

The tears welled more, a few escaping and slowly dragging down my cheeks, my hand going up and lazily swiping them away, my action being caught in the corner of his eye as he turned and met my gaze.

He gave me a sweet, sad smile, nodding his head to the side as an invitation to join him, he using his free arm to envelope me against his body as I looked up at him, he placing a kiss to my lips tenderly. I put my hand closest to Kira on her head, leaning against his chest and watching her tired eyes slowly lull to sleep from the vibrations of his voice and heart. It was then that I felt like a family.

If they knew all about you
They'd end up loving you, too
All those same people who scold you
What they'd just just for the right to hold you

From your hair to your toes
You're not much, goodness knows
But you're so precious to me
Sweet as can be, baby of mine

Kira's eyes slowly fell shut into sleep, he continuing to hum the same tune as he swayed slowly, his grip on me never loosening. "I missed you," he whispered between hums, "I missed you both."

I snuggled closer to him, kissing his chest through the fabric of his shirt. "We missed you, too."

His hums slowly came to an end, he releasing his hold on me as he cradled Kira, lowering her gently into the crib. "Tonight, she sleeps here," he said softly, hand lowering and grasping mine, pulling it up and placing it close to his heart, "you and I need to be together, alone."

I inhaled, giving him a small smile and nodded. I knew we did, but I had yet to sleep in a room away from my daughter. This, this could get very interesting.

"Come on," he said softly, leading me down the hall and towards our room. He felt my hesitance, stopping to turn and look at me. Reaching forward with his free hand, he took my other hand, walking backward and leading me that way into the bedroom, pulling me in and shutting the door. "The monitor is on, she'll be fine," he said, knowing that I would have a comment about he shutting the door. "Lily, c'mere." He stepped forward, pulling me so that we met half-way, mouth meeting mine gently. He pulled away a little bit after, placing kisses to my cheek and down my neck, his teeth scraping my skin. "I missed you."

I wrapped my arms around his neck, hugging him tightly to me as I inhaled, willing the tears to stay at bay that were threatening to spill over once more. "I missed you, too."

"Hey," he said softly, pulling away and swiping at the tears that just-so happened to fall as he pulled away, "no tears. I'm here, everything's going to be all right, Lil."

"No, it's not," I said softly, now openly crying. "Everything is not going to be all right. You'll go away again for promotion, I'll be here with the baby and some how, something will get fucked up! It always happens. Always. I swear life is a disaster when you're not around ..."

"Hey," he repeated, reaching forward and putting his hands to my face, cradling it as he put his forehead to mine, my hands holding his wrists steady, "everything is going to be all right, and that, that is a promise. I'm here for a few days, but I managed to be able to shorten promotion so I'll be home a week after I leave. Then, we're touring the states. You're coming with me. You and Kira. I got a bus that's family-friendly and we're going to be together. We're going to be a family together and I'm going to have a hand in raising my newborn daughter. I want to be around when her milestones start. I should never have left you so early on, knowing that this was still emotional for you; never should have left knowing my heart wasn't in it. You and me? We're going to do this together, okay?"

I nodded, feeling his mouth kiss from the middle of my forehead to the middle of my nose. "I love you."

"I love you, too," he said softly, releasing my face. "God, you don't know how much I missed feeling you beside me every night."

I chuckled. "I think I do."

"Know what it feels to not wake up with you beside yourself?"

"Ah ha, funny." I walked back over the bed, yawning deeply. It was nearing two in the morning. I should go check on Kira -"

"She's fine, baby." JC reassured, he peeling off his clothes as my eyes watched him intently. Yeah, sure, fine. "Come tend to your other baby," he pouted, sitting up on his knees on the bed. "I missed you."

I chuckled, wiping away the remnants of tears and dry ones as I crawled onto bed to be eye level with him. "Tend to you for what?"

"I hurt," he whined, dropping his head to my shoulder as I ran my hands down his bare back, "I hurt for you ..."

"If that wasn't the cheesiest thing ever said, I don't know what is," I laughed as he sighed dramatically against me. "Okay, okay, I get it," I laughed, patting his shoulder. "But unfortunately, doctor said six to eight weeks before sex can happen again."

He pouted. "That's two more weeks?!"

"Yes, you big baby."

He pouted, eyes wide as a sad puppy and lip further out than I remembered him ever being able to do. "I guess I can live with holding you and ... touching you."

I laughed at his subtlty, crying out in surprise as his arm circled around my waist and pulled me down to the bed, we both landing sideways against the pillows. Before I could even 'scold' him, his mouth was own mine, nibbling and sucking, making marks I knew would suddenly appear all over my fair skin in a matter of minutes. "I guess," I whispered, pausing when his mouth closed on my sweet spot on my neck, "I guess I can live with that, too."