A girl. I was having a baby girl. Suddenly, I felt the entire world crash down on me when the realization really, and do I mean really washed over me: I was having a baby. This being in my stomach was someone that I would have to care for and love the rest of my life. Was I capable of doing this? Was I going to be a good mother? Or was I going to be one of those overbearing, overprotective mothers that my future child (or perhaps future children) would hate and basically disown?

My stomach churned as I placed a hand to the peak of it, sinking down into the couch and closing my eyes. The room was spinning and I was feeling nauseous. I already had it settled in my mind that I was pregnant, but it never completely settled that I was going to be a mother. I knew it had settled in JC's head while still at the doctor's office, but not mine. In five short months, I was going to be the mother of a baby girl that I had no idea how to take care of. All those years of everyone I knew telling me how amazing I'd be as a mother and that I was made to be one, I was suddenly questioning that. Suddenly, I wasn't sure if I'd be able to hold the baby right, feed her the proper nutrition, put her to sleep properly. What if I gave her something that would kill her? What if I dropped her?

This is why you don't tell Lily Hennessy things. She dwells and dwells on those thoughts until they make her sick.

Just like now.

I swallowed the acidic taste in my mouth hearing JC's voice greet the person on the other line. How was he the one who was so sure? The one who I knew years ago that didn't want a family? Didn't want marriage because he wasn't capable of it? But suddenly, here he was, highly capable of being a married man and was, and was going to be a father? When the hell had the roles switched?

"It's a girl! Yeah, we're so excited mom. I'm completely ... over the moon. Never in my life did I think this would happen and it has and now I'm so happy that I made this decision. I guess love makes you change your aspect on a lot of things ..." His voice trailed off as he laughed, my stomach churning. Good God. "Lily? Oh, she's going to be an amazing mom. She's already glowing and I know understand what dad always said to me when I was younger." He laughed again. "I felll more in love with her the moment she told me she was pregnant and I keep falling more and more every day I wake up and see her with that smile on her face. And then I take one look at her belly and know it's my baby in there and I just ... I can't come to grips with that. I'm so excited. I'm not worried about her, because I know she's going to do amazingly. Everything comes natural to her. I'm gonna be the one that goes to her when I can't figure out something. But you want to know the one thing I'm so excited for? The moment I get to hold that baby in my arms and make eye contact with her for the first time. I'm gonna lose it mom. I'm just ... I'm gonna cry just as much as that baby."

I swallowed hard, a smile cracking my face as I listened to him. He wasn't worried. Why should I be? Tell it to my stomach.

"Hey, you okay?"

I looked up, JC just hanging up the phone as he said goodbye to his mom. "Fine," I said softly, "just a little nauseous is all."

"Baby making you sick?" He sat down next to me as I shook my head, hanging it low between my legs - well, at least as low as I could without my belly being in the way. "You want me to make you some soup and crackers? Ginger Ale, although I know you hate it?"

"Soup and crackers would be nice," I said softly as his hand rubbed soothing circles in my back and neck, "thank you."

"You're not worried, are you," he asked softly as I looked up, shrugging slightly, "well, you shouldn't be. All first-time parents get some jitters about their baby. But you know what? You're going to be amazing and you're gonna wonder why you ever questioned that." He placed a kiss on my temple, getting up and heading towards the kitchen, rummaging through the cupboards for the soup.

I sighed deeply, running a hand through my hair as I looked around the room. Sitting on the coffee table sat an envelope holding our baby's first pictures. When those papers hit my fingers and I saw the form of my baby, I suddenly wasn't worried. I could do this. Not everything was perfect, but I sure as hell was gonna try to make it that way.



"JC! JC, are you excited to be a father?!"

"When are you due, Lily?!"

"When are you two remarrying?!"

I put my hand over my eyes, even with the dark sunglasses that covered my face. With one hand gripping JC's hand and the other protecting my belly, I let him lead us through the mass of photographers and bystanders, curious of the celebrity walking in new territory.

"Why are you In Pennsylvania, JC? Is this where family is?!"

His grip tightened on me as I felt his hand slip away from mine, stomach flipping as they crowded around the two of us, nearly slamming me into a telephone pole side-first. "Lily! Somebody get her! Get her before she falls!"

My heart was pounding in my ears, stomach doing somersault after somersault as I shielded my stomach, face against the wood and feeling the burning onto my skin. Great, just the kind of press we needed. A hand grabbed onto mine, tugging hard as I became face to face with a security officer, he shielding me from everyone while JC tried to fight his way through the paparazzi. "Everyone needs to go where they belong and get the hell out of my patrol area, now!"

"Lily!" JC nearly lunged at me as he wrapped his arms around me, hugging me tightly and pressing a kiss to my forehead. "You okay?"

"I'm fine," I said softly, his face surveying the damage to my cheek as he touched it gently. "Ouch," I mumbled as he flinched, the officer standing beside him. "I'm okay. Really. Thank you."

"I think it's safe to say that the two of you need people with you," the officer said softly, he handing me a business card. "We usually don't have problems around this part, but if there is ever a chance something happens again, don't hesistate to call my office."

I nodded, he tipping his hat and leaving as I watched JC reach into his pocket, a tissue he had used to wipe lipstick off of his cheek from our little cheese-fest (also known as our little acting goofy moments as I kissed him like a crazy woman) and pressed it to my face, slight traces of blood on it, but not much. "It's all right, Jace. We'll deal with it when we get back home."

"Which is right now," he said softly as I shook my head. "Lily -"

"Jace," I laughed, "it's just a brush burn. I can go into the bathroom and clean it out right now and we can finish up and then I'll go home and we can tend to it."

"Lily -"

"JC," I laughed as he let his shoulders slump, defeated. "Later."

"Promise?"

"Yes," I grinned, looking over his shoulders as the photographers still snapped photos, though they all leaving slowly. "Besides. I won't be home for Christmas and I want to get the gifts done now. We've got everyone but Lucy and Delaney. And I want to go look at other ... things."

"What kind of things?" He took my hand, we walking back into the mall from putting what we had already bought in the trunk of his car. "Gifts for me, things?"

"No," I said, shaking my head and looking at him, "pink, girly things ..."

"Baby clothes?"

"Yeah," I replied, he smiling as I caught glimpse of the baby shoppe just down the corridor of the mall, "I kind of want to get a general idea for the nursery, too."

"I thought we decided on white furniture and pink? Or was it cherry wood and pink?"

"Either white and pink or natural and pink," I corrected, he laughing next to me as I fought the temptation to go in as soon as we approached it, tugging him into a personalized store. "Sisters first, then baby," I murmured, looking around at all the blankets and other little trinkets that could be personalized for someone. "Jace?" I turned, looking at him as he touched a pink baby blanket, a smile on his face. "Baby," I looked over at him, he turning his head to meet my gaze. "You in love?"

He let the fabric slip from his fingers as he shrugged, shoving his hands into his pockets. "With you, perhaps."

"Perhaps?" I raised an eyebrow, laughing as he stood in front of me, the back of his hand caressing my undamaged cheek. "Better be more than in love with me to have married me and knocked me up."

"Well," he said softly, putting his forehead to mine and letting his eyelids fall slightly as he fought exhaustion, "I can say that I started to fall in love with you when we were in that room together and I definitely was in love by the time the boat ... escapade happened."

I grinned, pulling away and looking around the store. "I think buying things for my sisters will be a useless thing. There's nothing here that they'd want."

"Baby store?"

"Baby store," I nodded, he gripping my hand and squeezing it gently. "I still wanna know why mom kicked us out from helping with the food."

JC laughed, hand reaching over and rubbing my belly. "Well, honey ... being that your family likes to reminisce and you're emotional, I don't think your mom wanted to deal with a crying pregnant woman when she's already emotional enough with the fact that Charlotte is getting married in less than two weeks and you're pregnant. All of her babies are growing up."

"And to think, my mother is Miss Hermit."

"A lot of things change when all your kids grow up and move out and suddenly become parents like their own."

"And you would know?" I laughed, jutting out my lip as I held up a pink layette, it saying 'Future Rockstar' in black, bold letters. "Oh, the future is seen."

JC laughed, holding the layette and putting it against my belly. "I can see her wearing this."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," he smiled, holding the layette as we looked around the store, "I can see her with really dark hair and your eyes. Or maybe mine. But definitely has your smile."

"You really think of things like that?"

"Not up until recently," he shrugged. "I mean, months ago, I wasn't thinking anything baby, but it seems that our baby and you are the only things that ever go through my mind nowadays."

"Aw, baby," I leaned into him as he wrapped an arm around me, we walking around the store and eyeing just about everything. "What else have you thought about?"

"Names, obviously what she'd look like ... if we'd have more ..."

"Oh? And?"

"You're gonna think I'm gay for saying this."

I laughed, looking up at him and smirking, "who is to say I don't now?"

He rolled his eyes, still smiling as he walked down to the end of the store where all the nursery decor and furniture was. "I really like the name Ella."

"Ella."

"Yeah. Ella. I can't remember where I heard it. It actually sounds like a magic phrase if you flow it with Chasez. Kind of like Abracadabra or Alakazaam- only Ella Chasez."

I laughed again, stepping away from him as I let my hands run across the smooth side of a natural colored crib, eyes casting across the store and searching for other kinds of cribs. Who knew there had to be so many? Sled, circular, transformable? Way too many. I just wanted a crib, people. "Funny. But I do like Ella."

"Nice."

"What about the other stuff? If we would have more?"

"Well," he stopped, looking at another crib beside us. "With you, I'd probably repopulate the world if I could."

I grinned, shaking my head and looking over at him. "God, Chasez, love has really made you a sap."

"Only for you, baby."

"Why don't we ditch the sap and go home and eat some good Turkey? I'm starving and craving sweet potato casserole like - well, like a pregnant woman."

He grinned, taking my hand and leading me towards the front of the store. "Before we leave, we'll come back here and buy a few things."

"All right." I looked over at him, unable to keep the smile off my face as I saw his own smile, it so wide that my own cheeks hurt just by looking at him. How he had suddenly changed was beyond my knowledge, how my emotions kept going up and down was also beyond my control - but I finally knew one thing: we were going to be okay.