"I told Delaney about us."

I felt him shift position on the bed as we both lie there, staring at the ceiling, my head on his chest, his hand playing with mine absently. "Come again?"

"I told her. I caved and I told her."

"Lily ..."

"She'd never say anything," I said softly, listening to his heart beat in rhythm with mine. "I was upset and I just kind of blurted it out."

"Well, blurt things out to me instead, okay?" He said softly, free hand raking through my hair. "You can tell me anything."

"At that moment, no, I couldn't."

"You always can," he said softly, shifting positions again and looking at the side of my face. "Are you sure you don't want to go out?"

"Positive," I mumbled, eyes heavy as I looked at him. "I'm tired, and wiped out from the day. We haven't done anything, so I really don't think you've gotta worry about it, Jace."

He mumbled something incoherent under his breath as I laughed, closing my eyes. "You know what you could do, though?"

"What's that?"

I let him wonder for a moment as the smile stretched on my face, his voice singing in my head like a distant lullaby. "Sing to me."

He scoffed. "Why should I sing to you?"

"Because," I said softly, hearing my full of sleep voice lazily hang in the air as the last syllable lingered, "I love your voice and I don't think it should be wasted in silence."

"You love the sound of my -" He stopped and I grew curious. "Never mind."

"Of what?" I asked, getting up on my elbow and looking at him as he gave me a smirk. "Of your what, JC?"

"I don't want to get into that subject yet again."

I laughed slightly, shaking my head and sitting up completely, stretching. "I need to shower."

He grumbled in protest, turning his head into the pillow as I glanced behind. "Don't say that ..."

"What? Why? I smell like the entire day. I'd like to smell like soap."

"You smell fine."

"I smell bad," I argued, he laughing and shaking his head, still partially buried in the pillow. "What now?"

"You women and your insecurities."

"Right. 'Cause, unlike men, we don't walk around grabbing our balls and having competitions on whose ass gas smells worse."

He laughed then. Laughed as if he had never laughed before: boistrous, hysterical, comical and without any restraint. It was maniacal, the muffle of the pillow barely masking his nearly high-pitched giggle. I got up, standing at the end of the bed with my hands on my hips, smile on my face. "You done?"

"No," he managed to spit out, still laughing as he sat up, palms in his eyes as he tried to calm himself. "It's too damn funny!"

"It wasn't that funny, JC."

"Yes, it was!" He giggled again, shaking his head as his bright eyes finally met my curious ones. "It's damn funny!"

"What is?"

"This, you ... me ... us! This whole damn thing is just hilarious!"

"Right, slapstick at it's best," I smirked. "Look, Mr. Gigglesworth, I'm going to take a shower and -" I stopped, hearing his protested cry once more and shook my head, still smiling. "Seriously? You done?"

He took a deep breath, the pressure of holding in his laughter making me laugh slightly. "D-done!"

"Oy," I mumbled, running a hand over my forehead and kneeling down to grab clothes for bed. "It'll be a short one, so don't get your panties in a bunch," I teased, hearing him mumble under his breath. Like many women my age, when it wasn't a Tuesday night, we lived for re-runs of that one show to get a glimpse of the man who captured our little victimized (by him) hearts. Detective Elliot Stabler, mmm. What a character. But then again, what characters that fell in love with him and the idea of him arresting them! Pretty much everyone I knew that followed that show was because of him and the idea of he and his partner, Olivia, hooking up. Me? I didn't give two shits about the two of them, I just waited to see him get pissed and rip off his shirt. It wasn't rare, though not as often as I liked to see him do that little movement, but it was worth it when it happened. "I call tv when I'm done."

"Gah, no ..."

"Hey, you didn't sing to me. If you won't sing, then I'm watching tv."

"God, I feel as if this was a bad date followed by bad sex and all we can resort to is bad scrambled porn."

"You go right ahead and whack off to that scrambled porn, buddy," I laughed. "It's your fault you're not getting it; your rule."

"Ha, ha." He mumbled, turning his head and reaching for the remote, clicking the tv on as I went into the bathroom, tossing my clothes onto the sink as I turned to the bathtub, kneeling down on my knees and turning the water on. It seemed almost instantaneously that the steam began to rise and fill the bathroom as I sighed deeply. Tension filled my muscles and it was only calling for a bubble bath. And luckily, I had brought some.

"Now what are you doing?"

"Bubble bath," I mumbled, holding up the watermelon splash bath gel as he nodded, eyes still on the television in front of him. "Porn?"

"Friends," he said monotonely as I smirked, hearing the familiar ending and smiling at one of my other favorite shows. "Enjoy your ... bath."

"Oh, I will," I grinned, he finally turning to look at me slightly. By slight curiosity, my eyes traveled down to his crotch, his hands sliding down his body to where my eyes had settled. Busted. I felt the heat rise onto my cheeks, turning quickly and welcoming the heat from the water instead of my own embarassment redden my skin. Holding the bottle in one hand and using my free one to clear the mirror to see my own reflection, I literally screamed with the presence that appeared behind me, the bottle falling to the floor in a thunk, bottles spilling out quickly. "Jesus, JC," I mumbled, he standing there wordlessly as I bent down, hand grazing the bottle but stopping when I felt his hand snake up my back from the space that had slid open between my shorts and tank top. His hand was cold to my warm skin, gasping slightly as his finger hooked to the band of my bra, pulling me up. "What are you doing?" I asked softly, my back against him as he looked at us in the mirror. "I thought we were holding off?"

"Who said we were having sex?" He asked tone matching mine as I looked at him curiously, hands going down to his own that were gripping the hem of my tank top. "You said bubble bath."

"The bath was made for one," I mumbled, his mouth falling to my neck before tucking his fingers under the fabric and lifting slowly, discarding it to the floor as I took a sharp intake of breath, eyes dropping closed as his hands danced across my belly, mouth nipping at the strap of my bra. "Just ... one."

"I can make us become one, if push comes to shove," he said softly, looking up and meeting my half-lidded gaze. "And besides, it's a whirlpool bath; made for more than just one."

I opened my mouth to speak, letting it drop closed soon after. He was right. Who was I to correct that? I certainly didn't want to. His hand trailed down my stomach, connecting with the elastic of the band and sliding his hand between the cotton and my skin, sliding it down slowly and releasing the shorts as they fell past my knees and to the floor. "Are you really going to do this," I asked softly, disconnecting us and turning to look at him, his eyes traveling up my body to meet my gaze, blue on brown, just like it always had been. "Are you willing to drop the promise you made to yourself just because of that one part of your body?"

"It's not just one part of my body, Lily," he said softly, reaching down and holding my hand and placing it to his heart as I looked on curiously. "Not just thinking with my penis. Thinking with my mind. Feeling with my heart. Knowing with my body. I've got so many things going on in my mind right now, but this, this seems right, even if everything else is wrong." He laughed a little, tilting his head and releasing my hand just long enough to pull his shirt over his head, head dropping to look at the space between us. "It's like ... it's like that song, 'if loving you is wrong, then I don't wanna be right; if being right means living without you, I'd rather live wrong than right'."

"But, Jace -"

"It's just, broadly speaking," he said softly. Raising his head and looking at me with lost eyes, I melted in the very spot I stood. "I know what we're doing is wrong. You and I both know it is, but how can something that is so bad for us be exactly what I need?"

"I don't know," I said, shaking my head as he sighed deeply. "I don't know what to tell you. I've never been in love, I've never felt this way -"

"I'm not saying 'love', really," he said, licking his lips and frowning. "I'm saying, that intimate connection that people crave for and hardly ever get because they're too wrapped up in demanding more than that. The ability to look at someone and know that they're thinking the same thing, even without giving you that look. The feeling that knowing you can come home to someone who understands you, even if it's just for one day, one week - one marriage."

"Our life, speaking."

"Yes."

"Well, maybe," I said softly, hearing the sounds of SVU beginning as a smile slowly spread across my face, the sarcastic interaction between Olivia and Elliot evident, "we're like them," I replied. "Maybe we're the two partners that have known each other for years and compliment each other. Maybe we're like that. Soulmates of some sort."

"Maybe," he shrugged. "All I know is that I'm afraid of this ... of us. I'm afraid that if I continue with this, I'll get into something I'm going to drown in; if I walk away, I'll lose the one person that has ever, ever made sense to me - even when she refused to give me the right answers. In the thirty years -"

"Thirty one."

He rolled his eyes at my grin and correction, skirting around my remark and continuing, "In the thirty one years I've been alive, I've never understood relationships, never understood what made them tick. And the I meet you and we become close, and just by that, I understood more than I ever did in the years before that. It took all of a year being with you rather than twenty some to know that love and life went hand in hand; trust and patience; love and compassion - they all were the same. And with you ... I don't know, I ... I just feel as if it's right."

"What are you saying?" I asked softly, studying his face that had suddenly aged. The water was coming close to the top, yet I couldn't drag myself away. It was a wreck, a horrific wreck that invited all passerbys to investigate. He was the beautiful, horrific wreck in front of me and I couldn't walk away. I couldn't let him go.

"I'm saying that ... maybe we should give it a try."

"Wait, what?"

"You and me. Obviously, we're already married ... but we already know how phony that is. We connect, Lily; why don't we just try it?"

I finally stepped away from him, turning the water off and inhaling the watermelon scent slowly, wanting nothing but the man behind me, standing there with hope and desperation in his eyes. Hope for a chance, desperate to find reasons. "Why don't we ... just let happen, happen?"

He stood there, eyes slowly going up and down my body numerous times. "Well," he said, stepping towards me as his hands undid his own shorts, they dropping to his feet. "In that case, I'm gonna let this happen."

I didn't say a word, feeling his body encircle mine, hands sliding up my back and unhooking my bra, straps falling down my arms. He reached between us, pulling the fabric away until my breasts pressed flat against him. "Bath ... with me?" His forehead leaned against mine, gripping my sides as I breathed deeply.

I nodded, his head moving with mine as he finished undressing me. I kicked away the remnants, hearing him get into the tub. Turning to face him, he gave me a grin, hand extended and waiting for me to take it. "Are you sure about this, JC?"

"I'm not sure about anything anymore," he said softly, shaking his head. "I just feel like I need to take this chance. I think I may be falling for my best friend."

"I don't know if Mike swings that way ..."

He poked my sides from under the water, squirming against him as he groaned aloud. "Now, that's not fair - two low blows."

"Well ..."

"Don't even say a word," he laughed, relaxing from underneath me as I felt his muscles ease ... except for the main one. "What?" He asked when he saw me smirk at him. "Oh, don't even think about that, either."

"I'm gonna move to the other side," I laughed, lifting myself up slightly and moving to the other wall, leaning my head against the cushion and letting the bubbles relax me. "You still owe me a song, Chasez." I closed my eyes, twitching against his touch from his foot, it going slowly up and down my bare thigh. "You don't owe me a groping, unless you're gonna sing to me along with it."

He laughed, the water shifting as he got up bare chest out of water and leaned over me, legs on either side of my body. "I can make your body sing a whole new tune," he said, voice low and sexy, entire body felt against mine. I moaned, body reacting to just the tone of his voice. "See, you're starting a song already." His mouth found mine, hot and moist. Almost as if they had a mind of their own, my hips rose, grinding against his, biting back his response.

"I think you broke a record, Chasez," I mumbled against his mouth as he continued placing gentle kisses on my mouth. "A half hour without wanting sex."

"Try about a half second," he grumbled, "the moment the words spilled out of my mouth I wanted to take them back." He moved me slightly, the jets now just right between us as my head dropped back against the cushion, the pressure from the water and his now wandering hand sending bursts of colors in my eyes. "That's right," He said matter-of-factly, "let it go. Just let it go."

I forced my eyes open, his head hung low and watching as he did what he did, head dropping as I felt him enter me, his chest against mine, my teeth literally breaking skin as we both cried out. The release was slow, his thrusts deliberate and meaningful, mouth moving with mine the entire time - even when I came, my cries echoed only in his mouth, his own that began before mine doing the same.

What had just happened, I didn't know. Actually, what had happened all together in the bathroom I was still boggled about. The only thing I knew, was that that moment, even when things seemed to have fallen apart, they only made more sense.