Chapter 6: Apologies
Too many shadows in my room
Too many hours in this midnight
Too many corners in my mind
So much to do to set my heart right
Oh, it’s taking so long
I could be wrong, I could be ready…
Oh, but if I take my heart’s advice
I should assume it’s still unsteady
I am in repair, I am in repair
It’s been weeks since Hayden and Justin spent the day together and weeks since his question has been haunting her, “What’s the story behind your necklace?” Hayden has been stopping at Johnny’s office periodically, but she’s spending minimal time with Justin and avoiding any situation where they are alone together. She knows she should be moving on with her life and a simple question shouldn’t throw her into a tail spin, but it’s just she has never been asked to explain “it”. Family and friends understand the situation surrounding the necklace and don’t bring it up, for Hayden’s sake. But to Justin, he just doesn’t know about Josh and Hayden, what life is like for Hayden without Josh.
Hayden had decided to forgo Johnny’s office today and just take the time to spend it with Tyler. Her project has been her main focus since she arrived in California and she’s been neglecting any quality time with her big brother.
“So what’s the plan for today Ty?” Hayden asked while strolling into the living room and sitting down on the couch.
“I’m not really up for much, I’ve been working doubles lately and I’m looking forward to just relaxing most of the day.” Tyler said as he flipped through the channels on the television.
“Alright, well I think I’m going to lay out by the pool then. Come outside, it’s beautiful.” Hayden said before disappearing upstairs to put on her swimsuit.
Not even ten minutes later, Hayden and Tyler were outside involved in an intense game of pool basketball. Hayden was absolutely terrible at basketball but she was having fun goofing around with her brother anyways.
“It’s 10-1 Hayden, I’m killing you.” Tyler said throwing the ball at her.
Hayden caught it and started her approach towards the basketball. “I’ve just started my comeback.” Hayden managed to weave around Tyler and made it to the basketball hoop easily letting the ball fall through the rim. “Like I said, I’m catching up!”
That last score was the extent of Hayden comeback as Tyler easily walked away with a 20-2 victory. It didn’t matter who won, Hayden was just enjoying the time with her brother. Once the game was done, they decided to get out of the pool and just lay out for awhile. After getting their towels situated on the ground, Hayden and Tyler laid down preparing to bask in the sun’s warm rays.
“So how is everything going at Johnny’s? You’ve been there a lot lately.” Tyler asked.
“Yeah, lately I’ve just been interviewing Johnny and asking about what he goes through once he decides to manage an artist. He’s been such a wonderful help. No matter what I ask, he’s always willing to answer or give me things to read. I have so much information, it’s crazy. I started organizing how I’m going to put this whole research project together too.” Hayden said enjoying the warmth of the California sun.
“That’s great. I talked to Johnny the other day, he loves having you around. He says you’re really hardworking and always wanting to learn more about the business. But what about Justin? How’s that been going?”
Hayden tensed when she heard his name and it bothered her. Justin was just a friend and he never intentionally meant to draw up bad memories, he was just curious. Hayden still felt uncomfortable around him now. Justin managed to make her feel vulnerable again. Before, she was able to bury everything deep down because nobody ever asked about Josh. But now, all of the bottled up feelings were slowly making their way to the surface. “He’s been cool.”
“That’s it?” Tyler asked looking at her quizzically.
“Yep, that about sum’s it up.” Hayden said looking up at the sky.
“Hayden, don’t be dumb. What’s going on? Did he do anything to you?” Tyler asked seriously.
“Wow, overprotective brother vibe Tyler. No, he didn’t do anything to me. He’s been cool, letting me tag along and watch everything. It’s just that the other day we were asking each other questions, trying to get to know one another and well…he asked what the story was behind my necklace. I just wasn’t ready to go there with him. I barely talk about it with you, let alone a total stranger.”
“Well, maybe it would be easier to talk to a total stranger about everything.” Tyler said.
Hayden’s eyes nearly bulged out of her head as she sat straight up. “How would telling Justin help in anyway? He doesn’t understand any of it.” Her voice was rising and Tyler could tell she was starting to really get upset.
“I’m just saying that sometimes it’s easier to tell a stranger how you’re feeling because they don’t have any predispositions to the situation. For example, Justin knows nothing about Josh…I, on the other hand, knew Josh since high school. When you talk about Josh, I can picture him holding your hand back in Minnesota. I can see the two of you laughing and goofing around like old times. But for Justin, he doesn’t picture anybody…he’s able to really listen to you and your feelings. I don’t know Hayden. I really think you need to talk to somebody. I am always here for you, but you haven’t come to me since it happened and if Justin’s there to listen and he wants to know…talk to him. Don’t think I don’t hear you at night crying over it. I just want what’s best for you.”
Hayden eyes were brimming with tears and they were starting to spill over onto her cheeks. “Trust me Tyler, if I could go a night without crying, I would…if it was easy to talk about, I would. Do you think I like being this way? A silly question has rocked all the walls I’ve built up.”
“Then tell him about Josh…that’s what’s eating you up inside. You want to tell him, you’re just scared.” With that Hayden stood up and grabbed her towel.
“Listen, I don’t want to fight with you about this. If I want to talk I will. Don’t jump down my throat because it’s still hard to talk about.” Hayden said wiping the tears from her eyes and walking inside.
Tyler was not far behind, inside he was glad they had this discussion, Hayden needed to talk about everything rather than hold it all inside. He knew she was really thinking about everything and debating whether or not to talk to Justin. At least now she was thinking rather than suppressing it. “Come here Hayden.” Tyler walked closer to her and enveloped Hayden in a huge hug. “I’m sorry sis; I just want the best for you.”
“I know, just let me work everything out for myself first.” Hayden said. Finally the conversation was dropped and Hayden felt mentally exhausted. Her heart was telling her to talk to Justin, tell him the truth rather than avoid him, while her head was telling her to just deal with it herself. Her day off was definitely not turning out the way she planned.
________________________________________________________________________
Justin had spent the entire day at the studio writing recording new songs. He was having such a hard time concentrating on anything because all he could think about was apologizing to Hayden. He knew the necklace was important, he just didn’t think it would upset her so much to ask about it. Justin was packing all of his stuff up when his phone rang, before even checking to see who was calling, he flipped it open.
“Hello?”
“Hey Justin.”
“Who is this?” Justin asked while closing the studio door and proceeding out to his car.
“It’s Hayden…”
Justin was shocked that she would actually call him, considering she had been avoiding him for over two weeks, but at least this was a step to getting back on track. “What’s up Hayden? You weren’t at the studio today…”
“Yeah, I decided to take the day off and spend time with Tyler. Plus, I wanted to get everything organized from all my talks with Johnny.”
“Yeah, well that’s cool.” Justin said while throwing his stuff in the car and getting in.
“Listen, the reason I called was I wanted to apologize for avoiding you lately and for my reaction the other day when you asked about my necklace. It’s a really sensitive topic for me and you just caught me really off guard.”
“Don’t apologize, Hayden it was my fault…I shouldn’t have…”
“No, Justin you don’t have to take the blame. The necklace is a part of me and if you still want to understand or know the story behind it, I’ll tell you someday when I feel the time’s right.”
“I’d like that Hayden.”
“Good! So now let’s move forward and keep working on your recording and my project. Sound good?” Hayden asked.
“Absolutely, oh I wanted to know, if you would like to go with me to New York? I have to do some promotional work for MTV next week.”
“I’d love to go. That sounds like fun.”
“Yeah definitely. Well Hayden, I just got back to my house. I’m going to go inside and unwind. Are you going to be in the studio tomorrow?
“Yeah, I’ll be there. Thanks again Justin for being so understanding.”
“No problem. Talk to you later.”
“Bye Justin.”
“Bye Hayden.”
Hayden put her cell phone down and laid down on her bed. She was ready to just curl up and protect herself from the world around her. Truth be told, Hayden wanted and needed to talk to someone she just never felt anyone would understand where she was coming from. Sure there was Tyler and Riley, but they would tell her to pick up the pieces and move on…all she ever wanted was someone to just listen. Hayden was exhausted from all of this mental anguish.
A soft knock interrupted her thoughts and Tyler peeked his head inside. “Hey…do you want to go get something to eat?”
“Yeah that’d be cool, where do you want to go?”
“I don’t care, what do you want to eat?”
“How about this café Justin took me to on my first day? They have great food!”
“Sounds good.” Tyler said before closing the door and walking back to his room to get ready.
Hayden picked up her cell phone and dialed the familiar numbers once again. She was determined to make up for the way she treated him the past couple of days. “Hey Justin…do you have plans right now?”
“Nah, I’m just watching T.V.”
“Want to go out to eat with Tyler and I…I do owe you one.”
“Sure, where should I meet you?”
“Rosie’s Café.”
Author's Chapter Notes:
Hey everyone!!! I hope you guys like the story! Please review...I love to read them! :)
Story Tags: justin college
