Chapter 26: Confessions
The first night in the cabin was pretty uneventful, but it was a time for the two of them to heal and repair the damage to their relationship. Although, there was a lot to talk about, Hayden was just glad he agreed to take the trip with her. He could’ve easily turned her away, the same way she had done to him previously…but he didn’t. That meant more to her than he’d ever know.
Justin was surprised at how relaxing it was, being in the mountains away from all the hype of Los Angeles. This trip couldn’t have come at a better time. He desperately needed time away.
“Justin, let’s go!!” Hayden yelled from the kitchen. She had been waiting for the past twenty minutes for Justin to finish getting ready. Hastily, she whipped off her hat and sat down on one of the stools. A few minutes later, Justin came hobbling down the stairs completely decked out in his snow gear.
“Ok, I’m ready…” Justin proclaimed while casually reaching for his gloves and hat which sat right in front of Hayden.
“About damn time…I’m sweating in all of this.” Hayden grumbled. She had been waiting on him, completely bundled from head to toe and was now officially burning up.
Justin laughed at her disgruntled state and continued walking past her out to the car. Hayden had planned an all day skiing trip for the two of them. She figured since they’d always talked about going, this trip would be perfect to just cut loose and cruise the slopes.
“So where to?” Justin asked getting into the car.
“Get back onto the interstate and drive north. It’s not far…” Hayden instructed. About twenty minutes later, the two of them pulled up to the Colorado Springs Ski Resort. Justin stood looking up at the vast mountains in shock. She had really pulled out all the stops on this vacation and he couldn’t wait to get out there.
Hayden previously had arranged everything therefore they quickly made their way past the shops and onto the hills. Justin chose to snowboard while Hayden popped on her skis. A few minutes later, they were secured on the chair lift enjoying the breathtaking views.
“So you want to race?” Hayden challenged once they reached the top of the hill.
Justin secured his feet in the board and stood up. “You don’t want to race me Beautiful. I’ll beat you any day.” He said cockily.
“Ok…smart ass. Let’s make this interesting. Fifty bucks, I beat you.” Hayden stretched her hand out.
“You got yourself a deal.” Justin said taking her hand in his.
The two of them cautiously approached the edge of the hill and looked down. Hayden felt her adrenaline kick in and her competitive nature take over. Justin jumped and kicked his board forward. “On three…1…2…3!!!”
In a flash, Hayden dug her poles into the ground and kicked her ski’s forward. They started off together and Hayden broke away to the right, when she felt the hill take the turn. Justin was quick to follow but she was breaking away ahead of him. He chose to take smaller turns, in hopes to gain some speed. Hayden felt him right on her ass and she tucked her poles under her arms and let the skis run the hill. Seconds later, Hayden was skidding to a victorious stop at the bottom. Not long after, Justin slid to a stop showering Hayden with snow from his board.
“Pay up Timberlake!” Hayden said brushing the snow off.
“You cheated…you knew the hill was going to take the curve.” Justin grumbled.
“This is the first time that I’ve skied here. I can’t help that I’m a better skier and felt the turn coming.” Hayden gloated.
“Whatever…you’ll get your money later.” Justin said before taking off towards the lift again. Hayden laughed at his childish behavior and followed in behind him. The two of them spent most of the afternoon enjoying the hills. They even stopped at the train parks for Justin to enjoy some jumps. Although, Hayden often skied through, she did watch him do some tricks.
Finally, Hayden was starting to get cold and suggested that they go inside the chalet for some hot chocolate. Hayden immersed herself in the plush couches and started unraveling herself from her layers. Justin brought over two steaming cups of hot chocolate and sat down next to her.
Hayden felt herself shiver once she took a drink of the hot liquid and felt it warm her insides. “So are you having fun today?”
“Yeah definitely…I couldn’t even tell you the last time I got to enjoy a day out on the slopes. It’s great, thanks Hayden.” Justin said before taking a drink.
“You’re welcome.” She smiled at him.
Justin peered out the windows at the snow covered mountains and took a minute to just appreciate the beauty of the scenery. “Hayden…” Justin whispered so softly that Hayden wasn’t even sure if it came from his lips.
Gently, she let her eyes travel over him and take in his face. “Yes?”
“Why are you doing all of this, especially after all the time that’s gone by?” His eyes were searching hers, desperately needing an answer.
Although, she wanted to wait till the end of the trip to have this talk, she knew he needed answers. She was just hoping she’d be strong enough to give it to him straight. “I guess I wanted to do something nice for you. I mean…you hopped on the red eye when my brother was in the hospital with no questions asked and I just never got the chance to say thanks. This is my way to say thanks for always being there for me.” Hayden finished.
Justin took in everything she had to say, part of him wanted to believe her…but there was still that nagging feeling that she was hiding something. “So…six months later this is how you say thanks.” Justin felt his voice getting louder.
“I guess…”
“Hayden, I can’t and don’t want to be bought.” Justin stood up from the couch and put his cup down. Quickly, he put his jacket back on and started to head back outside. “I’m going to go back on the hills. Take the car back…I’ll get a ride later.” And with that, Justin disappeared out the door.
Hayden sat there, stunned. This was exactly what she didn’t want to happen. Several people had turned their attention towards her. Hastily, she stood up and made her way through the doors. Scanning the slopes, she looked for any sign of Justin…but he was already gone. Knowing he wanted to be alone, she did the only thing she could think of…she got in the car and drove back to the cabin. Hayden felt the tears sting the back of her eyes and she pushed them back down. She wasn’t trying to buy back his affection...she wanted to come clean and tell him she was still in love with him. Now, it had spun completely out of control.
________________________________________________________________________
Hayden spent the evening pacing the floor, waiting for Justin to come back. She’d been home now for nearly five hours and it was pitch black outside. Every single different scenario went through her head, what if he was hurt or someone recognized him? What if he was lost? She couldn’t stop her wandering mind from thinking the worst. This trip was supposed to be her chance to come clean with everything and now she’d screwed it up.
Slowly, she decided to make something to eat. Although, she wasn’t hungry she figured Justin might be when he got back, whenever that was. Reaching for different ingredients she decided to throw something together quick. About a half hour later, her pasta was baking in the oven and she sat back down on the couches. Turning the fireplace on, it created shadows that danced across the walls. Sighing heavily, she laid her head back against the couch and closed her eyes.
Suddenly, there was a creaking sound and the door opened. Hayden’s head sprung up and she watched Justin enter the cabin. He didn’t even glance her direction while he took his jacket off and hung it up. Slowly, he started to remove his boots and other layers before venturing any further inside.
“Justin…can we talk?” Hayden asked softly. Justin met her eyes and his expression nearly broke her heart in two. He looked lost, distraught and she patted the spot next to her. “Please?”
Justin made his way into the living room and sat down on the couch making sure to put enough distance between them. He looked at her expectantly.
Ok, he’s not going to make this easy for me. “I’m really sorry for this afternoon…”
“I don’t understand it Hayden. What would make you think you had to do all of this just to say thanks?! None of this stuff matters to me…”
“Justin, I wanted to do this for you. To show you…” Hayden felt the words get caught in the back of her throat and Justin’s eyes continued to penetrate her. “I wanted to show you that you mean everything to me.”
Justin felt his breath catch. “What?”
“I know that I’ve made things hard on you…on us. I’ve been so wrapped up in my own feelings that I forgot about yours. I’m sorry for basically shutting you out after everything with Tyler.”
“Why did you? What did I do wrong? I mean, when I left…I wanted to be with you. But I understood that you just needed a friend and I was ok with that. I still called and tried to get you to visit but you were basically MIA for six months. Then out of nowhere I come home and there’s a note from you and then this trip. I just don’t get it…” Justin sighed after confessing his thoughts.
“The honest to God truth is I couldn’t handle everything. I completely broke down when you left.” Hayden felt the tears spring to her eyes and just as quickly as they came, they slid down her cheeks. “There was so much pressure on me to take care of Tyler and I watched him suffer through all the pain. It broke my heart, I watched while he went through physical therapy. I was there when he would fall down and I was there to be his strength when he felt like giving up. But I didn’t have anyone to turn to…to be my strength. I just shut down.”
Justin watched as she cried but he couldn’t bring himself to do anything about it. Why didn’t she tell him this before? Why now? “I don’t understand why you didn’t come to me?”
“I had convinced myself that I needed to distance myself from you. That was the only way to protect myself.” Hayden wiped the tears away and she looked at Justin. “As I sat near Tyler’s bedside all I could think about was…what if I lose him? Justin, it scarred me. I shut off my emotions. I pushed you away to protect my heart.”
“How could pushing me away protect you?” Justin asked as he rubbed his hand across the back of his neck. There was definitely something she was hiding.
“I lost Josh…and I nearly lost Tyler. I don’t know what I would do…if I lost you.” Hayden felt the tears make a steady stream down her face. Every emotion and memory came flooding back to her.
Justin watched as she cried. The words started to sink in and he gently reached out and pulled her against his chest. “Hayden…I promise you, you are not going to lose me.” He whispered.
Hayden’s cries shook her body. “I can’t Justin…I’m not strong enough…”
“Shh…” Justin cooed as he pulled her onto his lap. He gently tucked a piece of hair behind her ear when she looked up at him. “Hayden…you’ve got to learn to talk to me when you feel overwhelmed. You can’t keep bottling these things up and shutting yourself off to the world.”
Hayden snuggled into the crook of his neck and felt his warmth when he wrapped his arms securely around her. “I love you…” Hayden softly whispered.
Justin felt her words deep within his heart. He continued to rub his hand up and down her back soothingly and she snuggled closer to him. Softly, he laid his head against hers and closed his eyes. He could stay in this moment forever.
“Beep…Beep…Beep!!!!!” The screeching echoed through the cabin. Justin flew off the couch in the process dumped Hayden onto the ground with a thud.
“What the hell is that?!?!” Justin yelled.
“Fuck…my pasta!!!!!” Hayden screamed and sprinted into the kitchen. Quickly she whipped open the oven door and smoke barreled out, nearly choking her. She grabbed the dish and threw it on the stove, slamming the door shut again. Justin frantically grabbed a towel and started fanning the smoke detectors while Hayden dealt with the burning food.
Finally, the beeping subsided and Justin walked up behind her. “Let me guess…that was supper?”
Hayden turned ten shades of red and started to laugh. Justin wrapped his arms around her from behind and kissed her neck. “Come on Emeril…I think we’ve had enough excitement for tonight. Let’s go lay down.” Hayden leaned back into his embrace before walking up the stairs.
“You want to watch a movie?” Justin asked as they made their way upstairs.
Hayden quickly changed into a pair of pajama pants and a tank top before climbing into bed. “Sure…you pick.”
Justin put in a movie and slipped off his pants. With only his boxers on he got into bed next to Hayden. Pulling her close, he wrapped his body around hers before the movie started.
“You didn’t have to put this in you know?” Hayden said when she recognized the movie.
“I know…but after the incident in the kitchen. I figured this would cheer you up.” Justin answered as Pirates of the Caribbean started playing.
“I’m sorry Justin…” Hayden said softly.
“Don’t be Beautiful…” Justin said as she snuggled closer to him. Sleep soon overtook their exhausted bodies and for the first time in a long time…neither woke up until the next morning.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Hello to everyone!! First...thank you to everyone who has read and also reviewed this story. You are all wonderful!! :) I really appreciate it! But I finished another chapter so have fun and let me know what you think! :) Have a good night!
Story Tags: justin college
