Chapter 23: One Word
The days seemed to roll together for Hayden. Every morning she would wake up and head straight to the hospital. Prop herself up in the chair beside Tyler’s bed for the entire day and then drag herself back to Justin’s for the night. It had been a week since the shooting and there was still no change in Tyler. Hayden was becoming even more and more neurotic as time went on. She felt on edge every second of every day and the more days that passed; little by little her hope was diminishing.
Justin continued to lend his support but Hayden found herself pulling away from him. Watching Tyler go through this and seeing how quickly life can change, Hayden felt a need to protect herself…starting with her heart. She was so confused when it came to her feelings for Justin, and the truth of the matter was, she wasn’t concerned about figuring it out. She just wanted her brother back. She’d give up any and everything to talk to him and know he’d be all right.
“How’s he doing?” Hayden said while walking into the room from lunch.
“The same…” Kathy said regretfully.
“I brought you something to eat.” Hayden lifted the bag up and set it down on the table.
“Thanks sweetie. Where’s Justin and when do you have to take him to the airport?” Kathy asked while opening the bag.
“He should be right up to say goodbye. We should be leaving in a couple of minutes if he wants to catch his plane.” Hayden walked over to Tyler’s side and reached for his hand. Gently she stroked her fingers across his arm.
“He’s a great young man, Hayden…” Kathy said knowingly.
“I know he is Mom. I just don’t know how I feel about everything…”
“Well sweetie…listen to your heart, it’ll never lead you wrong.”
Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and Justin peaked his head inside. Kathy immediately ushered him inside and enveloped him in a hug. “Justin, it means a lot to all of us that you’ve been here everyday. I know Hayden really appreciates it but I’m sure Tyler does as well.”
“I’m just sorry I have to leave.” Justin said pulling away from Kathy.
“Don’t be…we understand you have to get back to the tour. We’ll keep you posted.”
“Thanks Mrs. Charles…”
“No, thank you. I’ll let you two say goodbye to Tyler quick. Hayden drive safe and I’ll see you later tonight.” Kathy said before disappearing from the room. Hayden nervously looked at Justin and she could tell he was hurting. He didn’t want to leave her here but there was no way Hayden was going to go back to the tour while her brother remained in the hospital.
Justin apprehensively approached Tyler’s bed and held onto his other hand, giving it a squeeze. Hayden softly released her brother’s hand and started to leave the room.
“Where are you going?” Justin asked when he noticed her retreating form.
“I’ll give you some time alone to say goodbye. I’ll be outside the door when you’re ready.” Hayden said before turning on her heel and leaving Justin alone for the first time with Tyler since he’d been there.
“I know it’s been a while man. I’m sorry we’re meeting again under these circumstances but I’m praying for you. Your family needs you, especially Hayden. Tyler…I think about what you said to me when Hayden and I broke up…about fighting for her. I’m trying man…I really am. I can honestly say that I love her with everything inside of me and I’d do anything for her, but I know right now she just needs her brother. Hang in there man. I’m still fighting for her…I hope you are too.” Justin said before letting go of Tyler’s hand and giving him one last look before joining Hayden in the hallway.
The two of them silently made their way out of the hospital. However, as soon as they were outside they were bombarded with photographers. Justin instinctively wrapped his arm around Hayden, trying to shield their faces as they walked towards the car. People were everywhere and shouting ridiculous accusations. Justin, are you and Hayden together again? Why are you at the hospital? Is Hayden pregnant? Justin felt his blood pressure rising and anger forming in the pit of his stomach. He was infuriated that they found out where he was, but even more so because Hayden didn’t deserve any of this. She was hurting and going through a very difficult, private time, she didn’t need any of the added pressure from the media.
Once they were a safe distance away from the hospital and en route to the airport, Justin reached for her hand. “I’m sorry about that Hayden…” Justin said regrettably.
“It’s not your fault…” Hayden said limply holding his hand. Right now, she wasn’t sure what she felt for Justin…if it was more than friendship, if she was looking to him for comfort and nothing else. She couldn’t focus on anything regarding Justin, since her head and heart was lying in that hospital bed.
“Just don’t pay attention to any of it. It’s all lies.” Justin tried to rationalize with her, but he could sense in her voice that she was closed off.
“Justin, right now my only concern is my brother. I don’t give a shit what they print about me…” Hayden said forcefully. “I don’t care about anything other than Tyler getting better.”
“I know babe…I know.” Justin felt a pain in his chest at her words. He understood it but it still hurt.
The rest of the ride to the airport was relatively silent. Hayden’s mind was back with her brother. Justin understood how close they were and how hard this was for Hayden. Selfishly, he wanted her to come with him to New York. He wanted her on the tour with him but he knew that’s not what she wanted. They had made so much progress in their relationship and he was scared it would all fall apart. Justin replayed thousands of different scenarios in his head, until they finally arrived at the airport.
“Come here Beautiful!” Justin said pulling her into his chest and wrapping his arms securely around her waist.
Hayden relaxed in his arms and inhaled his scent. She felt like every fiber of her being had been fried from this past week. “Thank you Justin for coming…I’m lucky to have a friend like you.”
A friend? Justin thought to himself. He tried his best to hide his disappointment at her words but obviously he didn’t do a good enough job.
“What’s wrong?” Hayden asked when Justin didn’t say anything.
“We’re just friends? Even after everything that’s happened?” Justin questioned.
Hayden sighed. “Justin…I don’t really know what’s going on. I can’t tell you that we can be together again because I don’t know.”
“Hayden…I love you and nothing’s going to change that. I want to be there for you more than just a friend…I want to be the one you run to when you’re scared. I want to be the one to hold you when you’re sad. I want to be the one who you share all your happiness with. I want to be the guy who gets to see those big blue eyes, everyday. I want to be with you.” Justin confessed looking her square in the eye.
Hayden released herself from his arms and nervously shifted her weight on her feet. “Justin…I can’t give you what you want right now. It wouldn’t be fair to you or me. We tried before and it didn’t work…and right now, I’m not ready to put the effort into a relationship…especially with Tyler in the hospital. Who knows how long he’ll be there or what will happen? I just can’t…I’m so sorry.” Hayden said trying her best to sound sure of her answers. The truth was, she didn’t really know where she stood with Justin and if she couldn’t make sense of her feelings, how could she be in a relationship with him?
Justin felt his shoulders slump and he felt like he’d been punched in the stomach. “If that’s what you want Hayden…just friends.”
“It’s not what I want Justin. It’s all that I can give. Please tell me you understand?” Hayden asked searching his eyes for some kind of understanding. However, all she saw was hurt and rejection.
“I can’t say that I understand it Hayden. But I’ll respect your choice.” Justin said as the ticket agent announced final boarding for his flight to New York.
Hayden felt the tears stinging her eyes. “Justin…you’ll always have my heart. I want you to know that…but right now I just can’t make that type of commitment. I’m so sorry.” Hayden said wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him gently on the cheek, as the tears slipped from her eyes.
Hesitantly, Justin wrapped his arms around her. He buried his hands in her hair and slowly rocked them back and forth. His heart belonged to Hayden and it was killing him to watch her push him away. They had come so far together and now she was just letting him walk away. He tried to fight for her but obviously that wasn’t enough. “Be strong Beautiful. Your brother needs you.” Justin said before walking towards the gate.
Hayden could feel the wetness on her cheeks but she couldn’t tear her eyes away from his retreating form. She watched him walk with his head hung low and sunglasses covering his eyes, until she could no longer see anything.
Needing to get out of there, Hayden practically ran through the terminal and out to the car. She wasn’t ready to go to the hospital and instead decided to take a drive. She needed to clear her head. No, what she needed was her brother back.
________________________________________________________________________
Hayden had been gone now for over five hours. She had called her parents to let them know she’d be at the hospital tonight but that she needed some time to be alone. She felt awful for the way she left things with Justin and then everything with Tyler. It was like she was being pulled in a thousand different directions and she didn’t know what to do. Times like these, she needed her brother. He’d understand everything she was going through and help her make sense of it all.
Knowing she needed to be near Tyler, Hayden turned the car around and drove back to the hospital. She brought with her a sweatshirt, blanket and a pillow fully intending on staying there tonight while her parents took the night off. Hayden softly made her way into the room, set her things down and sat down in the chair next to his bed. Tyler still lay peacefully asleep, not moving one bit and something inside Hayden snapped. Everything she’d been holding inside her came rushing to the surface and Hayden laid her head down on the bed and wept. She felt so weak and so alone.
“Ty…I need you. God, please wake up…I feel like I’m falling apart.” Hayden’s shoulders shook violently as the emotions poured through her body. “I love you…please pull through this. God, I need my big brother…help him.” Hayden whispered into the bed. Suddenly, Hayden felt something brush the top of her head. Swiftly, she looked up and into the open eyes of her brother. He smiled tenderly at her and gently laid his hand back down on the bed before closing his eyes once again.
Hayden reached for his hand and held onto it tightly. “Tyler…can you hear me? Squeeze my hand if you can.” Hayden waited for a response, but nothing happened…believing it was her imagination getting the best of her, Hayden was about to let go of his hand when Tyler softly squeezed it.
Hayden’s eyes lit up and she reached for the nurse’s button. She gently stroked his face trying to get him to open his eyes again.
“Miss, what’s going on?” The nurse said rushing into the room.
“He’s awake…get the doctor. He’s starting to open his eyes and he’s been squeezing my hand.” The nurse flew out of the room and a few seconds later, Tyler’s doctor came barreling through the door. Hayden reached for her phone to call her parents and let them know while the doctor examined him.
“Is he ok? What’s going on?” Hayden asked.
“He’s starting to come out of the coma. His pupils are responsive and his reflexes are good. I want to run some tests on him but he needs to be fully conscious. Stay with him and keep trying to get a response. I’ll be back in about an hour to check on his progress.” The doctor said while writing something down on Tyler’s chart.
Hayden rushed to his side and stroked his hand. “Tyler…I know you can hear me. I need you to fight right now. I need you to be strong.” Hayden repeated over and over while rubbing his arm, hoping to trigger something.
Finally, after about thirty minutes of rambling, Tyler opened his eyes. Clearly disoriented, he rapidly blinked his eyes, trying to focus on his sister. Slowly, he groaned and tried to shift his body but there was an immediate rush of pain in doing so and he hissed.
“Tyler stay still…” Hayden warned while she softly rubbed his head.
“What’s…going…on?” Tyler whispered looking to Hayden for some answers.
“Something at work went wrong Ty. You were shot while working undercover and you’ve been in a coma now for about a week. I’m going to get the doctor. Don’t move.” Hayden said before running outside and yelling for the doctor.
The doctor spent a majority of the night running tests on Tyler now that he had come out of the coma. They did an MRI and some more X-rays…however everything seemed to be healing well and there didn’t appear to be any brain damage. It was now early afternoon, Hayden and her parents were elated that Tyler was awake and responsive. The doctor had informed them that Tyler probably had no recollection of the shooting and that he’d be a little disoriented. However, that would wear off with time.
Hayden contemplated calling Justin and letting him know that Tyler was awake but she hesitated every time she pulled her phone out. Instead, she stayed by Tyler’s side talking to him about little things hoping to help clear his mind of the haziness.
“Have you been here the whole time Hayden?” Tyler asked sitting up in the bed.
“Yeah…I caught a flight out Chicago and been here ever since. Actually, Justin was here with me but he left yesterday to go back to the tour.”
“Tell him I said thank you for coming, even though I didn’t know he was here.” Tyler smiled softly and laid his head back down. “I’m kind of tired Hayden. I was up all night getting all those tests. I think I’m going to take a nap. Go home and get some sleep Hayden.” Tyler said before closing his eyes and drifting off into a peaceful slumber.
Hayden considered staying at the hospital but she was exhausted from the night’s events. Realizing she needed to get some sleep, Hayden decided to leave and come back later. She told her parents she was going to go back to Justin’s house and sleep. Before Justin left, he offered his place to her and told her the pass codes to get into the house. Knowing she could’ve easily gone back to Tyler’s, she still chose to seek refuge at Justin’s house. Chalking it up to a comfort thing, she headed over there. She couldn’t wait to slip into his bed and get some rest.
Once inside, Hayden couldn’t help but look around like it was her first time ever being there. It was different to be in his house without him but she still felt safe here. Slowly, she made her way up the stairs to his room. Opening the door, Hayden caught sight of an envelope on the bed with her name on it. She changed into pajamas and hopped into bed before opening it and reading its contents.
Hayden,
If you’re reading this, that means you’ve decided to take me up on my offer and use my house to stay in while Tyler is in the hospital. You better not mess it up! No I’m just kidding, make yourself comfortable. I wish I could be there with you to hold you at night, but know that I’m thinking about you. You’re so important to me Hayden and I’d do anything for you. I know we’ve gone through some rough times but I feel like we’ve come out stronger than ever. Use the remote on the bed stand to hit play. I wrote this song one night while I was thinking about you. I recorded it on the bus, sorry if the quality is a little rough, but this is my song for you. I hope you like it.
Justin
p.s. Oh, one more thing…I love you
Hayden reached over and pressed play on the remote. Promptly the sweet strumming of a guitar filled the room and Hayden laid down. Justin’s voice filled the room and Hayden felt her heart smile at his words. Immediately, she snuggled deep into the covers and closed her eyes. It wasn’t long before she was drifting off to sleep.
One
I'm so into what you’re giving and it feel so good to me
You're beautiful and critical it's hard to live without you, baby
When I wake up in the morning all I want to see is you
Heaven's blessing that he sent me unconditional and true
Girl you mean the world to me and I hope you understand
I will give you anything and I'll do the best I can to make you see what I see
One word
Is all I need to say exactly how I feel
One word
A single word that's from the heart and keeps it real
One word
And baby I know this one fits you to a tee
One word
All I can say is amazing
Always there when I was going through all kinds of changes
You kept me lifted, said I'm gifted and you know I'm gonna make it
So when you're tired and frustrated you can always count on me
Girl I love ya and I want ya to know I'll be all you need
Girl you gave the world to me and you made me understand
You would give me anything and you do the best you can
You are what I hope to be
One word
Is all I need to say exactly how I feel
One word
A single word that's from the heart and keeps it real
One word
And baby I know this one fits you to a tee
One word
All I can say is amazing
One word
I just want to celebrate you, baby
And thank the Lord for sending you down to me
And your love is the reason why I believe
You're amazing
So amazing
Just amazing to me
One word
Is all I need to say exactly how I feel
One word
A single word that's from the heart and keeps it real
One word
And baby I know this one fits you to a tee
One word
All I can say is amazing
Author's Chapter Notes:
Hello! Alright, so I finished another chapter and I hope you guys like it. Please review and let me know what you think. I love to hear from everyone and it's fun to see what you guys think! I really appreciate all of them! So thank you! :) Ok...I'll stop now! Have a good night! :)
Story Tags: justin college
