Imagine losing your breath, the kind of dizzying suffocation that leaves you unable to think. That’s how I felt as I watched him stand up on that altar with another woman walking towards him, ready to pledge her life and her love. I managed to sit, biding my time, trying to avoid the gaze he’d set on me--the gaze that was supposed to be on her.
Amongst daydreams all over the world, there are no doubt those individuals that imagine rushing into a ceremony, leaping forward just as the preacher says, ‘Speak now or forever hold your peace’. And then, finally, declaring the unsaid words of love onto the object of their affection. 'Don’t do it, choose me instead. I love you.' That’s what I wanted to say, but I couldn’t do that to him. Hell, I couldn’t even do that to her. This was their wedding, and if he’d made it all the way up to that altar, and throughout the majority of the ceremony, maybe she is his meant to be.
So my next option was to run. If I lasted in that seat a minute longer, there’s a large chance that I’d faint, or even worse, throw up. So I excused myself as quietly as I could manage, and I ran.
And you want to know what? That sinking feeling didn’t disappear the further I got from that beach; it got worse. Knowing that he was back there, holding her hands in his, vowing to be with her for the rest of his life. That thought made me crack. Burst actually, and I burst into tears as I reached the car, fumbling with my tiny bag as I searched for Trace’s keys.
“Isabella, sweetheart!!” I heard my mother’s voice approaching me. “Honey, wait!!” she asked me as she reached the car.
“Momma, I don’t want to talk about it right now. I just need to get as far from this place as I can.”
She looked at me, noticing the tears in my eyes and the heartbroken look on my face, and reached out, placing a soft kiss on my temple. Pulling back away she nodded, “You want me to come with you?”
“No, I think I just need to be alone.”
“I understand. Please be careful honey.”
“Course Momma,” I responded, getting in the car to leave. I paused to roll down the window, “I love you.”
Smiling slightly she nodded, “I love you too sweetie.”
As I pulled away from Paradise Cove, the tears really began to flow. I’d just watched the love of my life, my best friend in the world, promise himself to someone else. I had no idea what to do, how to escape from this empty feeling that had overcome me. So I did the only thing that I could bring myself to--I kept running. I went to Trace’s, managing to pack my things in record time, slipped into jeans and a tank top, and hit the road again. I found myself at the airport soon after, and before I knew it I’d succeeded in catching the next plane to New York. If having the distance of the entire country in between us couldn’t displace this feeling, I’m pretty sure nothing would.
“Jesus Trace,” I slammed my fist down onto the dresser of his guest bedroom, reaching up roughly and loosening the collar of my shirt. “Where the fuck did she go so quickly?”
“Dude,” he shook his head, “she’s probably already on a flight back to the City by now. You know Bella, she works fast.” He noticed a piece of paper on the nightstand and moved to go pick it up.
‘Trace,
Tell Justin I’m sorry for running away like that. I couldn’t watch him go through with it. I’m also sorry that I took your car to the airport. I’ll leave it in the parking garage for you to pick it up. I need to get back in the City if only for the distraction. Call me sometime soon. I love you T.
Bella’
As Trace read the note aloud, Justin grew more and more antsy each moment that passed, “That’s where I need to be. I need to get on the next plane out of here Trace.”
