February 25th, 1998
New York, NY

There are a bunch of different sounds you get used to when you start travelling by bus again. The sound of the engine roaring every time the bus starts up, which then turns into a low, and soothing hum which helps you get to sleep. Then there’s the sound of the guys yelling at Joey for changing the channel on the bus TVs. (For some reason the TV in the front lounge and back lounge are connected so if you change the channel on one, it changes the channel on the other). Add in snoring from JC’s random naps, Lance talking on the phone, and the music I’m always playing and you have ‘N Sync bus life.

The guys started their promo tour a few days ago, which meant it was back to the cramped bus but I loved it. It was like a home away from home. I got my usual bunk, in the middle at eyelevel, below Justin, above Chris, and across from Lance. Like usual I spent most of my time in the back lounge either watching TV with Joey and Chris, talking with Lance, playing guitar or video games with Justin, and avoiding JC all together.

Well, I didn’t avoid him on purpose it just happened. And he was with his girlfriend most of the time so it wasn’t like he missed me anyway. It gave me more time to hang with Joey, Chris, and Lance. I feel like I neglect them sometimes, which is why I love the bus life. More time to spend with each other and get to know each other on a personal level.

Which solidified the fact that hearing ‘uh-oh’ on a bus is not a good thing.

Especially if it comes from Justin.

“Hey Just, are you ok in there?” I called from the ‘kitchen’ table, looking up from my tentative set list. Currently it was a piece of lined notebook paper filled with a bunch of scribbles and ineligible writing. Justin was moving around in the bathroom and he just uttered those dreaded two words. What made it worse was that Lance was in there with them, both planning on dying their hair.

“Yeah…um…I’m fine,” he called. It was quickly followed by Lance’s laughter. “What’re you laughin’ at, Ghost Boy?” Justin grumbled.

“Ok, open the door,” I ordered, putting down my pen.

“Um, something tells us we’re safer in here,” Lance replied.

“James, the door!” I tapped my foot and waited for the bathroom door to open.

“Ooh, what’d they do?” Joey asked eagerly, running a comb through his short hair. He had recently decided to let his facial hair grow, which brought out the Italian in him and made him hotter, if I do say so myself.

“Something with hair dye and the words ‘uh-oh’,” I replied.

“It can’t be as bad as Chris’s cheese puff hair,” Joey pointed out.

“We’ll see.”

Finally the door opened and Justin and Lance stepped out. I didn’t know whether to laugh or look at them in horror. The sides of Justin’s hair was brown but the top…was the problem. It was bright blonde and curly with little peeks of brown. It looked like…

“Ramen!” Chris laughed, pointing at Justin’s head. “You look like you have ramen on your head!”

“Look who’s talking, Pineapple Head,” Justin grumbled, tugging at his hair.

“Lance, um, your hair looks see through,” Joey stated. I then looked over at Lance and saw that Joey was right. With Lance’s Florida-tanned skin his bright hair looked funny in contrast.

“How…how did you possibly manage to do that?” I finally managed to find my voice.

“Um…we left it in too long,” Justin replied. “It’s not that bad, right?” He asked, looking at me.

“Let me put it this way, I’d voluntarily go through a huge tub of bleach to dye my hair the brightest blue possible to take attention away from your hair,” I replied. “And I hate bleaching my hair.”

“I think you’d look good as a blonde,” Joey told me.

“It’s not that, it hurts like crazy and it takes forever to go back,” I replied with a wave of my hand. “Well, maybe no one will notice. Just do me a favor: don’t dye your hair without me ever again.”

“Why?” Justin asked, rubbing a towel on his head.

“’Cause unlike you I actually read the instructions.” I walked around their heads, taking in the sight at different angles but, no matter which way I turned it still looked horrible. “Umm, maybe you guys should wear hats for a few days.”

“No, might as well make them get over their public humiliation now,” Chris replied, tying a white bandana down over his dreads.

“And you’d know that first hand, huh?” Justin asked.

Chris flipped Justin off and finished tying the knot at the back of his head and then turned his attention to the papers I left on the kitchen table. “What’s this, our shopping list?” He asked, picking it up. “Hey, you didn’t put candy on here, that’s the important part. It’s staple food!”

“That’s my—currently non-existent—set list,” I replied, snatching it out of his hand.

“Oh, well, when are you going to go shopping?”

I put my hands on my hips. “Christopher Alan, what makes you think I’m going shopping for you guys? You’re perfectly capable to get your asses off this bus for anything other than work.”

“Yeah, but you always know what we need.”

“I’m not your mother!”

“Mind lowering the volume on this cage match?” JC asked sleepily. We all turned to look at him as he shuffled out of the bunk area, rubbing one eye with his palm and yawning. His hair remained ungelled and had a messy-sleepy look to it. “What’s wrong now?”

“Chris implied that I would do the shopping for you guys just because I’m a girl,” I replied. “What would your girlfriend think?”

“She’d think you’re blowing a gasket,” Chris replied, holding his hands up and backing away. “I was just funnin’ ya.”

“Chris, leave her alone. Can’t you see she’s stressed? She doesn’t need you adding onto it,” JC grumbled, tilting at the waist to look into the refrigerator. I stuck my tongue out at Chris. He reached out his hand to pinch my tongue and I ducked behind Joey and Lance, using them as a human shield. A second later JC let out a groan. “Ok, who drank all the milk and didn’t replace the carton?” He demanded, shaking the empty jug.

Instinctively we all turned to look at Justin who was tugging at a bright-blond curl while looking in one of Joey’s hand-held mirrors (his ‘face-sculpting mirror’ as he called it). He lowered the mirror and looked up at us, blinking innocently. “Wha…I didn’t do it!” He cried out.

“Justin, you eat your cereal with a ladle ‘cause you use such a big bowl. It has your name written all over it,” JC replied, shaking the empty carton again and then tossing it into the already overflowing trashcan.

We’ve been on this bus for a few days and all ready they let the place go. If someone were to record the things we say on this bus you’d hear me yelling at one of them at least three times a day about being slobs or leaving something for me to trip over.

“Fine, I’ll go shopping later,” I sighed in defeat, dropping back onto the kitchen chair I had been perched on before.

“Thanks Honeybee,” JC said with a grateful smile.

“Yeah yeah,” I mumbled. Anything to get this set list done. I was supposed to have it done a week ago, as well as some of my overdue homework, but I was constantly in a time crunch. I can’t do everything, I’m not Supergirl.

“You mind telling us what we’re doing today?” Lance asked, sitting down on the couch and picking up a random magazine from the small side table.

“Umm…” I reached into the bag by my feet and pulled out my planner. I flipped a few pages until I got to today’s date. “You have a taping at the RuPaul show in…” I tilted my wrist to look at my watch, “…about two hours. Then you have a photoshoot, soundcheck, free time, dinner, and then your promo show. You should have time between for lunch, though. But you might want to get your showers in now.”

“Might want to get our vocals in first,” JC said, stopping Chris and Justin’s little wrestle fight to get to the shower.

“What’s the point? You sing in the shower anyway,” I pointed out.

“Yeah, but I don’t want four other guys standing in there with me.”

“Pretty sure none of them would want that horrible image either. It’d give ‘em nightmares for sure.”

The guys let out loud ‘oohs’.

“Get your cheap shots in while you can,” JC said, wiggling a finger in my face.

“Oh, don’t worry. You’ll hear ‘em day and night until I leave. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” I looked at my watch again. “Ok, here’s the deal. The bus’ll drop me off at the Jive building—I have a meeting with Liam and some execs—and then it’ll take you to the RuPaul show. I’ll catch a cab to take me to the RuPaul show, go to your photoshoot and rehearsal. Pick up stuff from the grocery store, then we’ll have dinner, check into the hotel, see the sights, and then crash back at the hotel,” I said all in one breath, trying to make sure I didn’t forget anything.

“You? Take a cab?” Justin repeated. “Mack, you avoid taxis like the plague.”

“I’m being cautious,” I replied.

“You’re being paranoid,” Joey corrected.

“There are freaky people out there. It’s why I have Eric and Todd with me,” I added, nodding at my two bodyguards. “They’ll keep me safe.”

“And out of trouble,” JC stressed.

When JC’s back was I turned I gave Eric and Todd an annoyed look. They chuckled and turned their attention back to the TV that was playing some sports highlights. While the guys shuffled to the back lounge to get some practice in I jumped into the shower. God knows if I waited for them to finish there’d be no hot water left. Joey was infamous for taking the longest showers on the planet and I wasn’t in the mood to deal with it today.

Almost as soon as I stepped out of the bathroom after changing I was shoved out of the way as Chris hurtled himself into the bathroom, laughing like a maniac the entire way in. “Geeze, Kirkpatrick, watch where you’re going!” I grumbled getting off the bus floor. “Thanks for the help,” I added to Eric and Todd.

“We didn’t see anything,” Todd said innocently.

“Yeah, right.” I brushed off the seat of my pants and stumbled again when we took a turn, this time crashing into JC. Him of all freakin’ people.

He grabbed onto my elbows to steady me as I managed to get back onto my feet. “You ok?” He asked. I could feel his hot breath on my cheek. I squirmed and managed to get out of his grasp.

“Yeah, ‘m fine,” I mumbled. “Where’s my jacket?” I asked no one in particular and practically dove into my bunk. The only thing I disliked about New York was how cold it was in February. I don’t like wearing jackets, sweatshirts I’m fine with. But ‘Daddy C’ insists that I wear a freakin’ jacket and what ‘Daddy C’ says goes. It’s like an unwritten rule. I swear he abuses that power, especially with J and I.

I paused and felt my cheeks. Yep, they were warm, just as I expected. They seemed to be doing that a lot whenever I was near JC. Grumbling, I fumbled around my sheets for my gloves and hat. Just as I jumped down from my bunk, my jacket and hat and gloves in my hands, I could hear the faint sounds of Backstreet’s “Quit Playing Games” coming from the radio. That song was annoyingly ironic. It seriously bugged me how I couldn’t get away from those guys lately. It’s as if they were following me around.

“You got everything?” Chris asked as I dropped my winter gear on the floor and started pulling on my gloves. “ID? Wallet? Phone? Extra change?”

“Yup, got it all,” I replied, pulling my beanie down over my head.

“Maybe you want to change pants,” JC commented, nodding at my baggy jeans. I didn’t have to look down to know what he was talking about. I decided to pair my black and blue plaid button-down shirt with my favorite pair of jeans, the ones with the holes all over ‘em.

“Nah, I’m fine. I’m wearin’ stockings under them,” I replied, bending my knee to show the bright red material.

“Since when do you willingly wear stockings?” Justin asked.

“Since when do you care what I wear?” I asked in return, putting my arms into the jacket that Joey was holding up for me. “Thanks Joe,” I chirped, zipping it up and buttoning it.

“I don’t, I’m just curious.”

“Curiosity killed the cat.” I paused and added, “Unless you’d rather me go without ‘em and show my legs off. I mean, they are amazing. Dancing has done me good.” Justin’s lip twitched and his eyes squinted slightly. I loved being able to push his buttons, it was a bonus that JC seemed annoyed as well. Todd and Eric were laughing to themselves as the bus slowed down and shuddered to a stop across the street from the Jive building. “Oh, that’s me. I’ll call you guys when I’m done and on my way,” I said as the driver, Randy, opened the doors. I grabbed my bag, shoving my planner in it, and quickly gave them all hugs. I almost face-planted while jumping off the bus stairs but I managed to catch my balance on the sidewalk.

“Be careful crossing the street,” JC yelled out the doors.

“Right, ‘cause I don’t have two brick walls on my side,” I mumbled under my breath as Todd and Eric lumbered off of the bus. I took their elbows and they walked me across the street, easily dodging the hectic New York traffic. “Tell me, boys, do I have finger marks around my neck? ‘Cause they’re suffocating me.”

“They just don’t know how to react around a developing woman,” Todd replied as we entered the building. “Don’t let it get under your skin. At least they care, right? It’s better than them ignoring you.”

“I guess.” I sighed and stretched my sore legs. Note to self: don’t sit down for too long on the bus. “So, do I really need you guys around? I mean, I’m pretty sure no mad man is going to come running in here in the next few seconds, especially in this weather.”

“Sorry, Little Girl, we’re under orders,” Eric chuckled.

I squinted. Something smelled fishy. “Whose orders, exactly?”

“Johnny’s orders.”

“Are you sure?”

“You’re stuck with us, whether you like it or not,” Todd said. “We can do this the easy way or the hard way. And let me tell you, the easy way will be more enjoyable.” He winked and I smiled a little.

“Yeah, ok.”

Eric walked over to the receptionist’s desk and asked when we were allowed into the conference room. The lady said she’d call us, which meant that it could be a while. I started pacing as the time ticked by, wondering what it was exactly that Liam wanted to talk about. Did my songs tank? Did he want to drop me from the label already? What. Did. He. Want?

“God, this wait is killing me!” I cried out, causing Eric to jump.

“It’s only been five minutes,” he pointed out.

A giggle filled my ears, one that instantly broke a smile onto my face. “Man, don’t y’all know? She’s the most impatient person in the whole world. I mean, goodness,” Britney commented, lightly knocking my shoulder with hers.

“What’re you doing here?” I asked, giving her a side hug. “Not that I’m not happy to see you.”

“Recording as always,” she replied, tucking her brown hair behind her ears and flashing her pearly whites. “I’m flying out to Germany in a couple of days to record there.”

“With Max Martin, right?” I asked.

She nodded. “How’d you know?”

“I recorded some stuff with him,” I explained. “But, considering time, we flew him out here instead of me going out there.”

“Oh that’s cool. I can’t wait.” Then she excitedly grabbed my arm, her brown eyes shining. “I heard your song on the radio!” She squealed.

My heart about stopped at that moment. “No way. It was released only about a week ago.”

“I know your voice when I hear it,” she laughed. “It was you and it was great. The song really matched your voice. I got my mom and everyone else to listen to it as well. They’re proud of you, they also say ‘hi’.”

I grinned. “How’s Jamie Lynn?”

“A big drama queen as always.” Then she laughed. “No, she’s good. Getting good grades in school and having the time of her life being normal. Didja know she’s a cheerleader now? She is. It’s so cute!” She paused. “Wait, what are you doing here? I thought you were getting ready for your tour, which I am totally jealous of, by the way.” Before I could even speak she looped her arm with mine. “Walk and talk, girl,” she ordered and we started walking.

Eric and Todd got up and followed us down the winding halls. Along the way we passed by plaque after plaque from Jive’s artists. Gold. Platinum. Double Platinum. Even a few diamonds here and there. I wondered if I would ever see myself up on that wall. It’s like every day goes by the more real this becomes.

“I’m with the guys,” I explained, finally answering her question. “I’m going around with them on their promo tour until mid March when I fly out to Ireland.”

“Ooh, jetsetter,” she teased. I gave her a smile but she frowned. She’s always been one to read people like a book. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing,” I replied, shrugging.

“Now, girl, you can’t keep things from me. Once we make it big the only thing we’ll have left is each other.”

“What about Christina? She’ll be mad if we leave her out,” I pointed out.

She nodded. “Her too. We have to stick together and that means we can’t keep secrets.”

We turned a corner and continued walking aimlessly. “It’s just…part of me wants to run and hide,” I sighed. “Make things go back to normal. I wish time would just…either rewind or stop all together and I was just stuck in one moment.”

Britney was silent for a second. “Why are you so scared?” She asked quietly. “You’re the bravest, most fearless person I know.”

I smirked. “I just hide it well, I’m afraid of a lot of things. I just don’t like people knowing.” I scratched my head. “It’s just…I don’t like not knowing what I’m doing. I don’t like having something in my life be out of my control. I…I couldn’t stop my brothers from…you know. I couldn’t stop my parents’ divorce. I couldn’t stop my dad from getting cancer. I can’t…I can’t handle not having a grasp on things.” I hated the way she was looking at me, the way they were all looking at me. Like I’m some sort of pity case just because my freakin’ life was falling apart at the seams and I had to scramble around and try and pull it all together.

“Mack—“she started.

I interrupted her. “Hey, out of curiosity, why won’t you see the guys?”

“Don’t change the subject,” Britney started.

I shrugged. “No subject to change. You asked what I was doing here, now I wanted to ask you that. You never see them every time we come to New York for some reason. Justin and JC get upset when I say that you’re busy.”

“I am,” she huffed.

“Don’t get pissy at me, Miss Britney,” I said, wagging a finger in her face.

“I told you before, I don’t want to see them until I’ve made something of myself,” she sighed.

“You’re doing that now, aren’t you? You know them, they’ll be proud of whatever you accomplish.”

“I know, I know.” She scuffed her sneaker. “So…how are those two doing?”

“When they’re not bugging the crap out of me?” Eric made a sound in his throat. When I looked back at him he quickly lifted his dark sunglasses back on his face. Eric and Todd reminded me of the Secret Service with their dark sunglasses and dark clothes. Only more menacing ‘cause they were bigger. “They’re doing great. They’re very dedicated to their band; you can see it in their eyes. It’s like…they’d fall apart if they didn’t have this.”

“I get what you mean, I feel the same way,” Britney said, nodding. “It’s like…I need to perform to be able to function.”

“That’s dancing for me,” I agreed. I paused. “You know, it’s funny we’re a lot alike.”

“Yeah? How so?”

“Well, our accents for once,” I laughed, putting more emphasis on my accent. She threw her head back and laughed loud. “And we both started dancing when we were young. You did gymnastics and I did a little bit. We were in dance competitions. We like performing and now we’re both here, signed to the same record label and getting our music out.”

“Yeah. But the media will probably tear us apart because of our similarities.”

“Which is why we need to rely on each other—and Chrissy—if we ever read anything. Talk to each other about it just to make sure everything’s all right.”

“Deal. Now, what do you mean by Justin getting on your nerves? Him of all people, you two are so close you’re like one person.”

For the next half hour we continued walking around, talking about anything and everything, comparing our hometowns to see how alike or different they were. Then, like always, we reverted back to talking about MMC and all the good times that we shared and how she wished I had been part of the cast with them. When we made it to the lobby again Liam was waiting for me with a steaming mug in his hands and a warm smile on his face.

“Oh, looks like my meeting’s ready,” I said sadly. I didn’t want to leave her all ready. “Bummer.”

“I know. How long are you here?”

“Until the 28th I think.

“Good, I’m still around. We can go shopping.” She gave my hand a squeeze.

“That sounds good. Call me, ok?”

“Ok, see ya.”

She gave me a quick hug and bounced off, in the way that only Britney could manage. God, I missed her energy. I accepted the mug in Liam’s hand with a nod and then took a sip. Warm apple cider, my favorite drink of the winter. “Thanks,” I said once I licked my lips and the let out a breath. “So, we ready?”

“Yep, follow me.” I quickly grabbed my forgotten bag and followed him down the halls. Once again I studied the many plaques on the wall while following him. As we neared an office door I heard muffled talking on the other side and my eyebrows crinkled together. I was under the impression that’d it be just us talking, who else could be here?

And my answer was the sound of loud laughter, a chant of “Go! Go! Go!”, and a basic scene of chaos. I stood in the doorway, lifting my eyebrow, while watching AJ and Nick lean back in their chairs, guzzling Mountain Dew. Nick was the first to slam down his can and then he let out a loud burp which sounded like he was singing the end of the chorus of “Everybody (Backstreet’s Back)”.

“Really?” I muttered. “First it was my damn dressing room and then it’s every time I turn on the radio, that time on the bus, and now here. I swear, they’re following me.” I looked up when I noticed all the sound in the room had stopped and everyone was looking at me like I was crazy. Well, I was just talking to myself…out loud…in a room full of people. “Sorry,” I muttered.

Brian and Kevin exchanged a look and Howie shuffled nervously in his seat. Nick wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and AJ’s fingers tapped on the side of his can. All of them were looking right at me, without blinking. It was starting to freak me out. Johnny and Liam had left the room to talk about God knows while I, being the idiot that I was, stood by the door…looking like an idiot.

Geeze, this silence is deafening. “Is there something on my face or am I exceptionally good looking today?” I asked, dropping my bag in the nearest chair.

Brian laughed while Nick and Kevin cracked smiles. “Still full of yourself, I see,” he commented.

“Now there’s a huge difference between confidence and cockiness, Bri-Bri.” I paused and offered a smile. “But it doesn’t apply to me ‘cause I’m confidently cocky.”

This time all of ‘em laughed except AJ. The only thing he did was crush his soda can with his hand and lean back in his chair. Kevin was the first to walk over to my side of the table and give me a kiss on the cheek in greeting. Always the gentleman. I guess my tactics of lowering the awkward level worked because the rest of them followed suit.

All of 'em have changed in looks a bit over time but Nick by far was the one that sent a startling jolt through me. He got a bit taller, standing at six feet now, maybe a bit taller. He grained a bit more weight judging by his face shape but it feit his body well. His hair was long like before but now it seemed to be parted in a gelled wave with the tips falling into his eyes. He looked...good.

I blinked and felt heat rush to my cheeks when it came to my attention that I had been staring a bit too much. Geeze, stupid hormones! “So how have you fine boys been?” I asked, sitting down and folding my hands over my stomach. My eyes flickered over them and rested on Nick briefly.

Emphasis on fine.

“Pretty good,” Howie replied.

“Vacation’s been treatin’ you well, then?”

“It was much needed,” Kevin said.

“Yeah, he actually slept a whole day and didn’t worry about anything,” Brian added.

“Did the world end? You, Kevin Richardson, didn’t worry?” I asked with as much disbelief I could muster.

“Ha ha,” Kevin laughed sarcastically. “Your little vacation treated you well, I see.”

I laughed. “You can hardly call the past few weeks a vacation for me, but thanks anyway.” I then snapped my fingers. “Thanks for the flowers, too.”

“What flowers?” Howie asked innocently.

“Don’t play dumb around me, Howard. I know the flowers on my premiere night were from you guys.” They chuckled and looked at each other. “You could’ve at least left your name.”

“We didn’t know how you’d react…considering.”

I nodded and waved my hand, brushing the past away. “Just makes me wonder how you knew white roses were my favorite flowers.”

“You told us,” AJ finally spoke up. I lifted my eyebrows.

“Last summer, during rehearsals. Remember? Brian was ordering flowers for Leighanne to cheer her up and you said you’d wish someone would send you flowers for no reason. You said white roses were your favorite,” Nick spoke up.

“And you guys actually remembered that?” They shrugged modestly. “Shoot, first time anyone’s actually paid attention to what I’ve said to ‘em.” Then I remembered something. “Oh yeah, did you like your Valentine’s Day stuff?”

“Yeah!” Nick said excitedly. “Where’d you find the Beanie Baby?”

“I think the better question is why you willingly collect them,” AJ corrected him.

And just like that we were talking just like we were back in the summer, like nothing was wrong at all. Brian kept cracking jokes, Kevin seemed genuinely interested in what I was doing, and all of them vied for my attention, except Nick. He was quieter than usual, which was extremely odd. Over the summer we were practically joined at the hip ‘cause we always got picked on by the others but now he wasn’t even looking at me.

Finally Johnny and Liam came back in and the meeting started. They went into extensive detail about their plans for the tour, the places we were going to go, the TV stations, radio stations, and other events we’d go to whenever we had the chance. I sat back and wrote down everything they said to give myself an idea of how busy I would be. I knew tour life was tough but I didn’t think it would be this hard. I stayed quiet for most of the meeting and let the Backstreet Boys take the lead (they knew more about this stuff than I did, after all), but I gave my input from time to time, such as when they offered to give me my own bus, which I turned down (I didn’t mind sharing space), and what I wanted to include on my rider.

The meeting started to wind down when Kevin had to constantly tell Nick to stop fidgeting and messing with AJ.

“Hold on, Nick, we’re almost finished,” Johnny chuckled, taking everything in stride. “Now, how old are you now, Mackenzie?” Johnny asked me.

“Sixteen,” I replied.

“Ok, considering you’re underage you’re going to need to have a guardian travel with you,” he pointed out. “We could negotiate that you can travel on your own when you’re seventeen or eighteen, but right now you’re going to need a guardian. Do you think either of your parents could come with you?”

I bit my thumbnail. “Um, no,” I replied. “My mom has to get back to work and my dad’s, um, too sick.”

“Any aunts or uncles? Family friends?” Liam questioned.

“Aunt Abbey, maybe,” I replied.

“Ok, I’ll give her a call later,” Liam said, jotting down a note. “Now, are you ready to hear how your singles did?”

I sat up straighter and nodded like a bobble-head, making the others laugh. “Lay it on me, Liam.”

“Ok,” he turned the page of his notebook and looked at me, a large smile on his face. I was about ready to jump out of this chair and attack him if he didn’t tell me. He cleared his throat and stalled a bit more for time.

“Liam, I swear to God—“

“Ok, ok. Relax.” He cleared his throat one more time for good measure. “Ok, “Naturally” first. In one week it reached number six in Finland, five in Sweden, and three in France.” He paused and scribbled something. “In Ireland, the Netherlands, New Zealand, Australia, and Switzerland it debut at number two. And in Austria, Belgium, Canada, Denmark, Germany and Norway it debuted at…number…one.”

“Holy Hell and hot sauce,” I muttered as my heart jumped. He had to be shitting me. Number one!? Seriously? I wanted to do back handsprings down the long table, but I waited to hear the results for “Pressure” first.

“Keep in mind we released it to less markets, but “Pressure” reached number three on the UK charts, number seven in New Zealand, number six in Mexico, debuted at number two in Canada, and number one on US Billboard Adult Contemporary, Hot 100, Alternative, and Mainstream Top 40.” My ears buzzed, I couldn’t hear anything that anyone else was saying. This…I didn’t even know how to react so I just sat there, my mouth hanging open like a trap door. And when I thought that was it he added, “And you’re the first female singer to take the number one and two spots on the Canadian charts with two different debut singles.”

“Aren’t you excited?” Johnny asked with a laugh, noticing the look on my face.

“Excited is an understatement,” I replied. “No, I’m…ready to bounce off the walls. It just hasn’t hit me yet. Just wait, I won’t get any sleep tonight.” My eyes flickered across the table at the smiling Boys. Even AJ was smiling underneath his sunglasses. I gave a little nod of thanks.

“Ok, one more thing.” Johnny leaned forward and clasped his hands together, looking us each dead in the eye before speaking. “I know you all heard about the Kissimmee Tornado Outbreak recently.” Hell, who hasn’t? Once we heard it on the news two days ago we were all on our phones trying to get a hold of our family and friends in the area. They were all safe, thank God, with minimal damage to homes and property. “It’s the biggest tragedy that Florida has ever dealt with and there’s a relief effort going on called ‘Orlando Bands Together’. It’s a benefit concert to help raise money for those who lost their homes and—”

“We’ll do it,” Kevin spoke up before Johnny could even finish. I nodded in agreement. “Orlando is our home, we wouldn’t second guess this. We’ll do it.”

“Me too,” I agreed. I clicked my tongue. “Am I allowed to start running up and down the hall now?” The others laughed but I was being completely serious. I couldn’t sit still much longer.

“Go ahead,” Liam replied.

“Woooohooooo!” I cheered, jumping out of my seat and taking off down the hallway.

This was the best day of my life!

I bounced on my toes along with the ending music for the RuPaul show. It’s funny, it kinda sounds like an ‘N Sync song. Oops, they’re known as *NSYNC now, at least that’s what their new logo looks like now. It was amazing seeing RuPaul standing next to them, she (he) was so tall! I don’t know if it was from the heels or if she (he) was that tall to begin with. Either way, her (his) height put Justin and JC to shame, and Justin grew like a beanstalk in the past couple of years.

“What’d you think?” Justin asked as soon as the guys walked over to me. He wrapped his arms around my waist and lifted me off the ground, spinning me around.

“I think you guys should’ve run your outfits by me before you set foot off that bus,” I replied once he put me down. “Metallic vests. Seriously? JC’s legs look like toothpicks!”

“I meant the performance, Dummy.”

“You guys were great as always,” I replied as Justin slung his arm around my shoulders.

“Did you hear Baby J’s voice?” Joey laughed and then imitated the portion where Justin’s voice had cracked. I chuckled. I had noticed it but didn’t want to bring it up.

“Sounds like my little Ramen Head’s still dealing with puberty,” I laughed, ruffling his hair. “The girls in the audience seemed to like you guys though. A few of them said that they loved Lance’s babyface.” Lance blushed and Joey pinched his cheek. “Chris, nice pop and lock section. Joey, tune down the ham a little bit. And C, for the love of God, try not to show off all the damn time. We all know you have a great voice so save the hyperness for the stage, mmk?” I raised a hand before he could speak. “And now onto a more important topic—“

“What’s a more important topic?” JC asked, lifting an eyebrow.

“Me, duh!” I replied.

“Yeah, ‘duh’, JC,” Chris said, reaching up and slapping the back of JC’s head. “She’s only the Queen of the Universe.”

“Ha ha.” I rolled my eyes. “Now, why didn’t one of you introduce me to Joey Lawrence, huh? He’s like the hottest guy on the planet!”

“And here I was hoping those words would never come out of your mouth,” Justin grumbled, flicking my ear.

“Geeze, Just, it’s not like I’m going to jump the next guy with a penis on the street,” I mumbled. “Anyway, I have awesome news for you guys!”

“You’re going to be quiet for a full day?” JC asked hopefully.

“Fine, I won’t give you my news then,” I pouted.

“Well, you’re bursting at the seams so you might as well tell us.”

Then everything flowed out of me before I could even stop myself, I was too excited. Their eyes all lit up as I repeated what Liam had told me. Joey picked me up and spun me around wildly and then carried me out the studio. I quickly grabbed my coat and pulled it back on and stood around with the guys as we waited for our bodyguards to come out. Honestly, I didn’t really think we needed ‘em considering they were still kinda obscure but Johnny wanted to make sure.

“So where do you guys want to go?” I asked, pulling my hat lower on my ears.

“You can choose,” Joey offered. “Today’s your day.”

“Don’t give her too much power, her head will explode with the possibilities,” Justin laughed.

“J, do you need your scarf tightened?” I asked, reaching for his neck. He slapped my hands away and jumped behind JC who laughed. “Ok, let’s see. We could go to the Rockefeller Center and ice-skate maybe. Or we could go to the Empire State Building. No, but I want to see Central—OH YEAH!” I yelled, interrupting my rant. The others laughed while exchanging glances and I looked at them all, excitedly. “Can we go to FAO Schwarz? Please, pretty please?” I begged, bouncing up and down on my toes.

“Easy to please, are we?” Lance asked.

“She’s like a little puppy,” Chris added.

“Oh, yeah? Can we go there?” Justin asked as well, ignoring their comments.

“Why not?” JC shrugged.

“Yes!” I cheered, punching my fists into the air. “And away we go! But first, I need the biggest soft pretzel that New York has to offer.” I grabbed looped my arm with Joey’s. “Lead the way, Joseph!”

I could barely contain my excitement as we walked through the streets of New York. Sure, I’ve been there about a billion times before but nothing beat going to FAO fucking Schwarz. We stopped at a pretzel stand on the corner, which JC was hesitant about, but we finally convinced him to get one.

As soon as we made it inside FAO Schwarz I wanted to take off in every direction. The place was so cool and so big! Well, I’m not that tall, but still! Flashing lights and buzzing sounds and toys were everywhere. But what I really wanted to see was that big piano. We pushed through the crowd that surrounded the piano where a young looking boy and girl were demonstrating how to play songs on it. They jumped and lunged and tapped on the piano with so much ease it boggled my mind.

After the demonstration they allowed people to play on it. I turned to ask if Justin wanted to try it out with me but he and the rest of the guys were nowhere to be seen. I stood on my tiptoes and looked around, groaning when I saw that Chris, Justin, Lance, and Joey were having a race on mini tricycles and JC was waving a checkered flag. Never in my life have I wanted to claim that I didn’t know them. Even Todd and Eric stood around like they weren’t associated with them.

“Did you want to try the piano out?” The guy asked me, a half smile gracing his ridiculously red lips. I could only manage a nod as he lead me over to the big piano. “D you want to learn “Chopsticks”? It’s the easiest song.”

“You better not be saying that just to see me make a fool of myself,” I grumbled.

He laughed. Bless his heart, his laugh was the best sound I’ve ever heard in my life. “I would never do that, I promise,” he said, placing a hand on his heart and the other in the air. “I’m Cody,” he added, holding out his hand.

“Mackenzie, Mack for short,” I replied, shaking his hand.

“It’s nice to meet you ‘Mack for short’,” he joked. “You have pretty eyes.”

“Thanks,” I mumbled, giving him a smile. Don’t turn red. Don’t turn red. Don’t turn red!

“Ok, put your feet here and here,” he directed me, pointing. I moved my feet. “Now hop six times.” I did as he said. “Now put your feet here, and hop six times again.” He stood back and watched as I followed his instructions. “You’re picking this up fast. Do you dance by any chance?”

“Yeah. How’d you know?” I asked as I pushed my hair out of my face.

He smiled and my heart revved. “Once can tell. Where are you from? Your accent’s kinda think,” he said, jumping onto the piano with me. I wasn’t playing anything in particular now, just watching as the keys lit up under my feet.

“Memphis,” I replied. “But I live in Orlando now. What about you?”

“From here,” he replied, nodding out the windows. “I don’t think I could ever leave this place. I like the atmosphere.”

I made a face. “A little too much of hurry-up-and-wait if you ask me.”

“Your mind’ll probably change the longer you’re here.”

“Oh, is that a fact?”

“Maybe.” He had a teasing look in his eye. “How long are you here?” He asked suddenly, stepping on random keys, his hands shoved in his pockets.

“’Till Friday.”

“Cool. Forgive me if I’m being too forward but do you maybe want to meet up? I know—“

“Hey Mack!” I cringed at Justin’s outburst. Cody’s eyebrows crinkled together a bit and his eyes lifted over my head. Please don’t, please don’t, please don’t… “You gotta see this!” Justin said, grabbing my arm, a large smile on his face. “You have to see what Chris is doing.”

“If it’s anything burp, fart, or bodily related it can wait,” I replied through clenched teeth.

“But this is really funny!”

“Justin! Not now!”

Justin looked up and I saw his eyes harden. Oh boy, here we go. Soon Good Cop is going to come scurrying along and ruin this for me. Justin stood at full height and looked at Cody. Cody stood his ground and looked right back at Justin. I backed out of the way. I could practically see the sparks flying out of their eyes.

“Uhh, Justin, this is Cody. Cody, this is my friend Justin,” I muttered, pointing at each one.

“’Sup?” Cody asked, lifting his head.

“Not much,” Justin replied. His tone was steely. I’ve never heard it before. It made the little hairs on the back of my neck stand up. He turned his eyes to me. “Let’s go.”

“But Justin—“

“You’re busy. I shouldn’t hold you up.” Cody gave me a tight lipped smile. “I guess I’ll see you whenever you swing back around, yeah?”

I nodded and watched as he walked away, feeling my heart sink. “Why did you do that?” I demanded, turning to Justin.

He lifted his eyebrows. “Don’t tell me you were actually interested in that guy,” he scoffed.

“He was about to ask me out!”

“And if he liked you enough he wouldn’t have let me stop him, now would he?” Then his face relaxed and he grinned, like he didn’t even care that he just pissed me off. “Now, you have to see this—“

“I don’t want to see anything,” I interrupted him. “Don’t talk to me, J. Leave me alone.”

Then I turned and stormed off to the nearest bathroom just as my eyes pricked with angry tears.

February 26th

“Wow. I kinda expected Josh would be the one to block you like that, not Justin.”

I scoffed and adjusted my acoustic guitar which sat on my lap and held my phone against my ear tighter. “Don’t you know? They trade off on who freaks out over me trying to get a life. It just so happened to be Justin’s turn,” I grumbled, shoving my guitar pick between the neck and the strings.

Heather sighed. “It’s not like it’s the end of the world, though.”

I arched an eyebrow. “Waddya mean? This is the first time a guy’s been interested in me and he goes and blows it.”

“Yeah, but do you really think you were going to see him again after that day? Especially with your new job?” She questioned. I clicked my tongue. Stupid Chasezs always having to be the voice of reason. “C’mon, Justin was just being Justin. Protecting you in his own weirdly sweet way.  I bet you you’ll write a great song out of this.”

I looked at my guitar in my lap and laughed a little. “How’d you know that that was what I was doing right now?”

“Hey, you are my best friend. I know these things.” She paused. “So are you ok?”

I let out a breath. “Yeah, I guess but I’m not coming out of my room, though. I wouldn’t be responsible if my hand suddenly decides to smash this guitar over his head. I’m staying away for his sake. I’ll just order a carton of ice cream or something.”

“Day off today?”

“I have one; they’re doing interview stuff all day so who knows if I’ll see ‘em.” Then it hit me. “Joshua called you to call me lookin’ for info, didn’t he?”

Heather laughed. “Since when do you call JC ‘Joshua’?”

“Since he doesn’t get his nose out of my business.”

“Maybe. Did he apologize at least?”

“He tried. He made me this gummy bear Twinkie cake thing. Just what I like, a spongey-cake with bundles of sugar.”

Heather laughed. “He’s trying. You can’t stay mad at him forever.”

“And, unfortunately, he knows that. I wouldn’t let him in my room last night, though, so he probably crashed with Josh.”

“Wait wait wait, you two still share a room whenever you’re on tour?”

I rolled my eyes. “You people are making it seem like we’re sleeping together.”

She ignored me. “Well, it’s no wonder he freaks out whenever you talk to a guy.”

I made a face. “He doesn’t like me.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“Cause it’s…Justin! That’s just…ew….ew!” I cried out, cringing. “Ugh, no. I can’t even think of it. It’s weird. It’s gross. It’s wrong!”

“It’d explain a lot. I mean, girl, you are a catch. You have eyes, a body, and a personality that I envy—“

“A personality that gets me into trouble more times than not,” I pointed out.

“—and he is a hormone crazed, teenage boy whom you’ve known for ages and grown up with. It’s only a matter of time before your feelings grow up too.”

I put a hand on my stomach. “Stop! You’re making me ill!”

She laughed. “Ok, ok, I’ll stop. For now. Subject change!” I laughed at her announcement. “You’re in New York and you’re not planning on doing anything?”

“Well, maybe go shopping with Britney but otherwise nothing.” I looked up when I heard a knock on the door. “Heather, hold on.” I rested the hotel phone against my shoulder and walked over to the mini hallway to the door. “Who is it?” I called.

“Domino’s Pizza,” a muffled voice yelled back.

“I didn’t order any pizza!”

“Are you sure? There’s a lot of sausage on this side of the door.”

Grumbling, I made my way over to the door only to feel a hard yank. I let out a grunt and was sent flying on my back, the phone still in my hand. I could hear Heather’s hysterical laughter on the line. “Shut up!” I snapped, getting to my feet.

“And you’re supposed to be a dancer!?” She laughed. “Maybe we should start calling you ‘Grace’.”

“I’ll call you back!” I put the phone down and rushed to the door. I stood on my tiptoes and peered through the peephole. Rolling my eyes I unlocked the door. “A lot of sausage?” I repeated, lifting my eyebrow. “Someone thinks highly of themselves.” The teasing smile dropped from my face. “What do you want, AJ?”