February 18th, 1998

Los Angeles, CA

I frowned when I noticed that my bagel hadn’t been precut except for one little sliver. I grabbed my knife and started cutting the bread with it. After a few attempts I decided the knife wasn’t cutting it (ha ha) and shoved my finger in through the hole, prying the bread apart. Once the bread was separated I put it down on the plate and frowned again. This time I realized that I just had widened the hole and made the bagel barely recognizable. Next to me Dad was chuckling as he took a sip of his orange juice.

 “Pass the jelly please,” I said as I picked up a bagel half. The L.A. sun was so warm I was surprised it didn’t turn my bagel into toast while it was sitting in my hand. That is if the swarming seagulls didn’t get to it first.

Mike made a face. “You put jelly and cream cheese on the same bagel?” He questioned albeit reaching for the spread and a small knife.

I nodded and eagerly scooped out a glob. “If you’re gonna marry into this family you have to learn to accept our weird eating habits.” I paused and added while elbowing Dad’s side, “Like Dad putting peanut butter on his waffles.”

“Or Charlotte dipping pretzels in her milkshakes,” Dad added.

Mom lifted her perfect, pencil-thin eyebrow. “Or Babydoll’s ‘my-food-can’t-touch’ problem.”

I huffed. “Spinach juice in my rice makes it taste funny, you know that!”

“How can you taste anything but the massive amounts of sugar you put on top of it?” Dad asked with a chuckle. “I’m surprised you don’t have cavities by now.”

“Well, if it’d let out all the hot air stored in her head…” Mike muttered with an innocent smile. As Dad and Mom laughed I gently kicked him under the table.

I grinned at the sound of the waves lapping against the short and the cool sea breeze dancing through the air. This was just what I needed before I got to work, a nice quiet breakfast with just my family. Who knew when I’d have one of these moments again? As soon as it hit noon I would be on the fast track to Busy Town. Press, photos, videos, rehearsals, rehearsals, and more rehearsals…and then that dreaded ‘T’ word. I couldn’t even think about it, think about leaving everything I knew, leaving the boys, leaving…

No, don’t even go there! Just relax and enjoy the time with your parents and Mike. I blinked suddenly realizing how oddly weird the situation was. Mike had been rubbing the back of Mom’s hand for the past five minutes and Dad didn’t seem upset or jealous or anything at all. He just sat there engaging them both in conversation. Why doesn’t this bug him? Why?

I don’t get it. Shouldn’t people who were so in love with each other be at least a little bit upset once the other starts to move on? I looked at Dad again who was reading the newspaper with intensity only adults could generate. I let my thoughts wander as I started poking at my fruit, suddenly losing my appetite.

He must be so scared. I would be if I had a disease like that, but he’s not really reacting to it at all. He’s just going on like nothing’s wrong. Why won’t he let us help? Hell, what do you say to someone who’s suffering like this?

“Sweetie?” I blinked and looked up to see Dad staring at me. I guess I spaced out again; I was doing that a lot lately.

“Yeah?” I asked.

“I asked if you wanted to take a walk on the beach,” he said, nodding his head in the direction of the beach, which wasn’t too far from our hotel. “We can collect shells like we used to.”

I smiled as my thoughts too me back to simpler times. Walking along the beach, moving as fast as my little legs could take me, my dad following behind. Mom stayed on the beach blanket most times, reading. She read a lot at the beach, I always thought it was weird. Who’d want to spend vacation time reading? I spent it in the sand; I hardly went into the water. Who’d want to go near something so dangerous?

“Um, sorry Dad, I can’t, my day’s jam packed,” I apologized, shoving a bit of watermelon in mouth and then pulled face. I hated watermelon but it was better than seeing the disappointed look on Dad’s face.

I hated making him disappointed.

~*~*~*~*~

I loved the smell of a dance studio. The pinewood floors, the rubber, the stale sweat. It may be gross to some but to me it was invigorating. It made me come alive and want to start moving. It felt like my second home.

Liam had managed to rent out one of the rooms of the newly created Millennium Dance Complex for me to rehearse a few hours before we started the video shoot. As soon as I walked through the doors of the Complex I knew it was a place I needed to be. Everyone here lived and breathed dance and it was inspiring. It couldn’t even compare to the studios I frequented back in Orland and Memphis.

I hardly felt like rehearsing because I wanted to look at everything there was to see, maybe even sit in on a few classes but Liam kept reminding me of the schedule I had to keep. I went through the routine for “Naturally” many times before I was piled into a van and driven over to the area that the videos were being shot. “Naturally” was going to be shot first because it had the most costume changes whereas “Pressure” was a straight-forward video where the band and I would only be rocking out.

We finally pulled up to the lot that was going to be used. I looked up while stepped out of the van, stretching my neck back far to see the warehouse that we were going to be using for the day. I shivered while looking at the tall (creepy) building.

“Something tells me we’re not coming out of here alive,” Liam joked, getting out behind me and putting a hand on my shoulder, giving it a little squeeze as if silently telling me to calm down. It worked, but only a little bit.

“Once our tombstones are placed next to each other my epitaph will read, ’He was my downfall’ with an arrow pointing to yours,” I told him, trying to be as serious as possible but he grinned, knowing that I was pulling his leg. He was the first person to know when I was joking, being sarcastic, or being serious the fastest.

That’s what I liked about Liam’s and my relationship. He was older than me—around the age of 26, maybe 27—and we could joke with each other but we knew when to be serious. Sometimes he was on the harsh side but I knew it was because he’s seen me at my best and sometimes I slack off. He just wants to get me to my best and he’ll do it anyway he can and anyway knows is effective.

“Ok, I’m going to find the director,” Liam said as we were lead inside by the security guards. “You can take a look at what the wardrobe department as pulled out for you.”

“Sounds good,” I said with a nod, lifting my bag onto my shoulder. We split up and I walked around the large warehouse, feeling a little creeped out as the minutes wore on. Why did Liam pick this place of all locations? I waved to a few personnel that I passed while trying to find the wardrobe room.

I passed by a room and took a look in it, stopping in my tracks. I pushed open the door and moved dropped my bag. I rushed over to the table that was set up on one side of the room and let my eyes scan over the food that was set up. My stomach then grumbled, reminding me that I hadn’t eaten this morning. Grinning, I reached for my favorite treat.

“Halt! Put the cookie down and put your hands in the air!” A deep voice called out.

I tensed but immediately relaxed once I recognized who the voice belonged to. “You suck, you know that?” I grumbled, picking up the Oreo again and taking a large bite, chewing happily. Dani grinned and knocked my shoulder with hers, Kelly following her into the room. “When’d you get here?” I asked once I swallowed. I brushed my mouth with the back of my hand to get the crumbs off.

“Just now. We saw your van pull in,” Kelly replied, picking up a cookie herself and getting a bite. “This is one creepy place.”

“You’re tellin’ me.”

“I don’t know, I think it’s good for a horror movie,” Dani said with a grin as she looked around.

“So’s Bobbie’s face,” I threw out there. The two bit their lips to keep from laughing but they let their smiles shine through. “That was mean, I take that back.”

“What!? No! That was a good one!” Dani said, slapping my arm. “Since when do you apologize for making jokes?”

“Since I realized I don’t think before I speak.” I replied.

“I think everybody all ready knew that,” Kelly teased.

“Ha ha,” I laughed sarcastically. “Do you guys want to check out what wardrobe has pulled for me?”

The agreed and we set off, trying to find the area. Dani jumped out at us a couple of times on the way, scaring us half to death each time. Usually I don’t get scared but this place was beyond creepy that I was on my toes the entire time. Finally we found the room marked with a sign that said ‘wardrobe’ in Liam’s slanted handwriting.

“Man,” I muttered, running my fingers along the rack of clothes that were set out for me. There were a plethora of colors, fabrics, lengths, sizes, and styles to choose from. Whomever Liam called to make sure they knew what I liked did a great job of picking things out. For the first time in my life I didn’t know what to wear.

“I’m so jealous,” Kelly commented as she looked through the clothing rack with me. She pulled a pair of jeans off of the rack which had studs running down the leg seams. “Man, I wish I were your size,” she whined, practically salivating at the mouth.

“Easy girl, put the pants down,” Dani laughed, taking the jeans from her. I chuckled, glad that they had decided to join me. This would’ve been so boring by myself. My band didn’t need to be called to set until later because the director, Wayne Isham, wanted to focus on my solo shots first. “Ooh, but I love this top,” she commented. I nodded in approval at the sea green off the shoulder ¾ length shirt with slits in the one sleeve, to show off the arm of course. Her fingers started to dig into the fabric as a smile formed on her face. “I’m almost willing to steal this.”

“Back away from the temptations,” I teased, turning to the rack of brightly colored pants, shorts, and capris. “This…is…my…heaven!” I cried out, rushing towards the pants but Kelly and Dani grabbed my arms, stopping me.

“Who needs restraint now?” Dani laughed.

“So, I’m guessing the wardrobe did a good job?” A bellow of a laugh broke our mini struggle. I turned to see a somewhat short man with a long white beard smiling jovially at me.

“Excellent job,” I replied, looking longingly at the jean jackets. “I want to wear everything.”

“Then we’d be here forever,” he joked. “I’m your director for today, Wayne Isham.”

“Very nice to meet you sir,” I said, shaking his hand. “And these are my friends Kelly and Dani.”

“What’s all this ‘sir’ stuff? Call me Wayne, ‘sir’ makes me feel old,” he laughed, shaking their hands as well. “We have the storyboard set up if you want to come over and take a look.”

“Let’s do it.”

We followed Wayne to another room and dropped down on the couches as he walked over with a large piece of poster board that had different pictures on it. “We didn’t want to do too much so this will be a pretty relaxed shoot,” Wayne started. “We’re going to have three different looks for you with “Naturally”. One look will be something simple, a t-shirt and jeans, maybe a vest and natural makeup. The second will be a more…edgier look with darker makeup, some studs, and maybe some leather. The last will be a glam look, a nice dress and light makeup. The whole thing will be done in front of green screen because we have a great idea of how to add in transitions and effects that will go along with the type of videos that are being shown in Europe right now.”

I sat silently while biting my thumb. He looked at me as if waiting for my reaction. “I thought…originally I wanted to be dancing with my two dancers in the video,” I spoke up.

“It will be better to have this video focused on you,” Wayne replied. “What we are going to do is shoot your band playing and we’ll put them in the video as transitions and effects. Once you see the final edit it’ll come together.”

“Ok,” I sighed. Why fight it? He’s been in the business for a while he must know what he was talking about. “And what about “Pressure”?”

“That one is the simplest. You’ll be in this room in the basement that has pipes and gauges in it. You’ll be playing with your band—like you’re putting on a little concert—and as the song goes by we’ll flash back and forth to one pressure gauge that has a rising needle. Once the needle pushes past a certain point we’ll set off pyro,” Wayne said excitedly, grinning at the image.

“I really like the sound of that,” I commented. “I really do. Anyway that shows…who I am and what I’m singing about I’m all for. I don’t want it to be this…fake happy-bouncy type thing, you know?”

“I understand perfectly. So if you’re ready we can get you into hair and makeup and start the shoot.”

Almost as soon as the words came out of his mouth people started scurrying around to get things in the right places. Kelly and Dani followed me from station to station, giving their input on the way my hair should be styled down to the colored laces I’d wear in my shoes.

Finally I saw the set. Basically I’d be on this rotating circle in front of a green screen and I could do whatever I wanted just so long as I was lip-syncing at the right moments and gave it my all.

“What time is it?”I asked before taking another sip of water from the bottle that had been glued to my hand since I was whisked around.

“A quarter to one,” Kelly replied.

“Hmm, we’re a little late,” I mumbled. I then put a hand on my stomach when it started to growl.

“And someone’s a little hungry,” Dani pointed out. “Do you want us to get you something from the food room?”

“And have them yell at me for having junk in my teeth? No, ‘sides that’s all snack stuff. I want good staple good. Like McDonald’s,” I replied.

Kelly burst out laughing. “Right, ‘cause McDonald’s is a ‘staple food’,” she said with finger quotes.

“It is to me,” I said as seriously as possible.

“Did you not eat while you’re at home?” Dani asked shaking her head. Her two braids lightly hit her face with every turn of her head. “You live in the South, for cryin’ out loud.”

“I’m kinda useless down there,” I replied, pinching at a mascara clump and then grinned. “I’m picky with spicy foods and I don’t like fish all that much. Plus I prefer Kraft macaroni to someone else’s. I’m like the black sheep of the South. Justin and Trace joke that they should’ve run me out of town ages ago.” I made a face at the black streak on my fingers. Then I looked around and wiped my finger underneath the chair I was sitting on once I knew no one was looking. “So? Get me food please?”

Kelly squinted. “This isn’t some sort of ploy for you to get us out of here so we can’t watch your shoot, is it?”

“I’d have to think too hard to do that,” I pointed out.

“She has a point. We all know how much she doesn’t think,” Dani agreed. I glared and she stuck her tongue out at me. “We’re going, we’re going. Your usual, right?”

“Right. Thanks.”

It wasn’t that I didn’t want them there for my first shoot. It’d be better having them staring at me the entire time instead of people I don’t know scrutinizing every move I make. I just didn’t want to look stupid in front of them, especially in a dress of all things. The dress was ok, but it was that it’s pink! I hate pink with a passion. It’s so…disgustingly…feminine.

“Ok, are you ready to make some magic?” Wayne asked, rubbing his hands together.

“Let’s rock!” I cheered, punching my fists into the air and jumped down from the chair that I had been sitting in. I stepped onto the little circular platform and stood still as the makeup woman brushed something across my cheeks again, squinting at the bright lights. Then I relaxed once I realized that I couldn’t see anyone. “I’m ready,” I called.

“Ok, Scene Apple, Take 1,” Wayne called and I chuckled a little. “Sound ready! Cameras ready! Let’s get this started.”

A very loud ticking sound filled the room—kind of like a metronome—and then the bass beats of the song started.  As soon as it got to the first verse I pushed aside all of my jitters and I was in the zone. I got wrapped up in the sound, jumping around and having fun. I was so wrapped up in the song, the lights, and the energy around me that I didn’t even care that I was wearing a pink dress after a while. We had to do the ‘Glam Scene’ as we call it a few more times before I was able to change into jeans.

“Try and stick with something in the reds, blacks, and whites,” Liam said as I looked over the clothes rack. “And do you think you could be a bit more…girly?” He asked hesitantly.

I shot him a look. “What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked as calmly as possible.

“I mean, have a little bit more fun with it. Play with your hair or something,” he replied. “We’re trying to make the video appealing to males as well.”

“What does that mean?” I asked, putting my hands on my hips in a very Mom-like way. “You can say whatever it is.”

“Maybe…you can wear a tighter shirt?” He questioned slowly, clutching his clipboard as if he was going to use it for protection.

“There. Now was that so hard?” I chuckled, patting his arm.

“I thought you were going to bite my head off,” he replied, lowering his clipboard.

“By asking me to be a bit more girly?” I asked, lifting an eyebrow. “I am a sixteen-year-old girl ya know. I may just be thinking about doing that all ready.” He gave me an incredulous look. “I get that look a lot. You should’ve seen my mom. She started crying as if I said I wanted to be in pageants.” I shook my head. “I can only be seen as ‘one of the guys’ for so long without going crazy.”

“Well…that was easier than I thought,” he said with a smile. “Oh, and I have a question. An interviewer from a European magazine has flown over to interview you for a next big thing article. Are you interested?”

“Considering he flew all the way over here to see lil’ ol’ me? No problem,” I said with a shrug.

He made an astonished sound. “That Memphis trip did you some good.”

“I get that a lot too. Don’t worry; I have a good idea for this next shot.”

“You don’t have to change now. You’re getting a lunch break.”

“Yes, but something tells me if I spill even a speck of food on this dress the wardrobe department would kill me. Might as well change now.” Liam nodded and hurried off to wherever he needed to go. I grabbed a few articles of clothing in the colors he suggested and went into the dressing room. After a few changes I finally decided on a red and white hooded cap-sleeve shirt and black pants. “Oh geeze, these pants are tight,” I mumbled, jumping around, trying to get my leg through the material. It didn’t feel so bad once I got the zipper up and the button fastened there was a decent amount of space in between the material and my legs at the knee down.

“Where are ya, Shortstuff? We got your food!” Dani’s voice carried through the large warehouse. I laughed at the frazzled look on his face. “Geeze, those security guards take their jobs seriously,” she added, shoving a McDonald’s bag into my arms.

“I hope security guard isn’t some sort of sick codename for Chris,” I commented, digging around in the bag to make sure she got what I wanted. I looked up and saw Dani roll her eyes but her smile stayed on her face.

“Someone mention my name?” Chris asked, wrapping his arms around Dani’s waist from behind her.

“Yeah, I was just saying that the San Diego Zoo has a new chimp in the exhibit that looks exactly like you. You should check it out,” I replied, smiling as sweetly as possible.

He shrugged. “It’s nothing compared to the attraction that resembles you. However the only way you can see it is if a donkey turns around.”

“Chris, that was mean!” Kelly gasped. Chris ignored her and gave me a look, as if challenging me to find a better response.

“Once I think of a better come back…I’ll come back,” I muttered. Chris threw his arms in the air as she paraded around, basking in his win. “Hey, you only got lucky this time, pal!”

“What’s going on?” Justin asked as he, JC, Lance, and Joey pushed a curtain out of their way and walked over to us.

“Chris getting cheap thrills like usual,” I replied and took a sip of my drink.” Hey, Dan, this is Sprite and PowerAde right?”

“You have weird taste in food,” JC commented, a teasing grin gracing his lips.

You have weird taste in girlfriends! I bit my tongue before the comment slipped out. “To each his own, right?” I shrugged. “You guys didn’t come to stand around, did you? I don’t go back to working for an hour now.”

“And hour that can be focused on us,” Joey replied, dropping an arm around my shoulders.”Damn, you’re looking good.”

“You talking to her or that burger?” Kelly asked dryly, lightly punching Joey in the side. Chuckling he grabbed her fist, pulled her close and kissed her. She backed away, grinning and tucking her brown-blond hair behind her ears.

“A little bit of both,” he admitted and winked at me. “Don’t you know? She’s my secret second girlfriend.”

“She better not be,” Justin jumped in, knocking Joey’s arm off of my shoulders and replacing it with his own. Then he reached into my bag and swiped a few friends before I could even move. “Hey, what’re you wearing?”

“You sure you want to ask that question here, J?” Chris snickered as Lance cracked a smile. “Shouldn’t you save that for the bedroom?”

“Shut up,” Justin grumbled, dropping his arm. “Seriously, though,” he added, looking down at me.

“Ok, Justin say it with me: cloooooothes,” I said slowly, stretching the word out. Then I rolled my eyes. “You know. The things people wear to keep themselves warm and decent.”

“It’s very…er…different,” JC commented, rubbing the back of his neck.

“And hot!” Joey added. I smiled my thanks at him which he returned with a wink. “Can’t wait to see you dance now.”

“Listen Joe—“Justin started, his eyes flashing.

“Someone skip their cereal this morning?” Chris interrupted him, tauntingly.

“Chris, knock it off,” I called as the two got into a little scuffle. “Dani, can’t you stop him.”

“Hey, he’s my boyfriend, not my pet,” she said, shrugging in a ‘what-can-you-do?’ way. We watched Justin and Chris run around the set a little bit, teasing each other here and there, laughing all the while. It was amazing how quickly they could get over being ‘mad’ at each other.

We went back into what I referred to as the ‘Lounge Room’ and dropped down on couches, digging into the food that they had brought. I kept the stereo on in the corner so I had something filling my mind when the pace slowed down enough for me to actually think. Thinking was my enemy right now.

The guys asked me what I had planned for the rest of the day. Tomorrow I’d be joining them on their promo tour. I was glad I would be able to relax a bit before things picked up again but even then I knew I wouldn’t be able to completely relax. Either Justin would want to do something or Joey would want to hang out or Chris would want to go looking for trouble. I only had a short amount of time to pack as much time with them as possible.

Now Chris would have to call me every day to tell me a new (lame) joke he heard or made up on the spot. I’d have to e-mail Lance about new books I think he should read. Now I have to be more careful with talking to Joey and asking for advice. It was the neutral ones I could deal with.

JC and Justin, not so much. It’s like lately everything I do has to be their business and I am one prying question away from turning their heads into basketballs. No, soccer balls. Then I could kick ‘em all I wanted. I grinned evilly at the image forming in my head.

I slapped my hand over my ear and then glanced to my left. Lance was smiling a bit while leaning back in his chair, resting his palms on his stomach. He looked like my dad after he ate his favorite dessert.

“What was that for?” I asked, pulling on my earlobe.

“Had to get your attention,” he replied. He looked towards the door and I suddenly noticed that the room was empty. “Don’t listen to Jace and Justin, ok?” He spoke up again.

Well that was sudden. I shouldn’t have been surprised; Lance never beats around the bush. “That’s hard to do when they’re shoving advice in my ears.”

“It’s not even advice, it’s their opinions,” he corrected me. “Opinions which aren’t needed. They must be blind but I can see what it’s doing to you.”

“Nothing.” I shrugged. “I’m fine.”

He smiled. “That’s a lie if I’ve ever heard one. I have a sister, remember? I know what ‘I’m fine’ really means.” He dropped down on the floor next to me. “How’re you feeling?”

“In general or…?”

“Right now. We’ll get to that later.”

I brushed my bangs out of my face and let out a breath. “Annoyed.” I let out a little chuckle as it dawned on me. “It’s the only way I’ve been feeling around those two lately.”

“Doesn’t surprise me.”

“I mean, they treat me like I’m six and not sixteen!”

“It’s understandable with them,” Lance said gently, as if waiting to gauge my reaction. “I mean, you’ve known Justin since you were in diapers and JC since you were—what?—eleven? Twelve? It’s understandable that they want to continue to see you as something you’re not, in this case a child. They just want to protect you. We all do.”

“You and Joey and Chris are less suffocating with it, though,” I pointed out.

“That’s ‘cause we’re smart and know that we need to give you room to make your own mistakes. I mean, what you’re wearing is not even out of your comfort zone. So what if the shirt shows a little bit of your stomach? As long as you’re comfortable in your clothes, their opinions don’t matter.” He paused and studied my face. “They do to you though, I guess.” He sighed. “Your attachment…how’re you going to function?”

“That seems to be the question of the year,” I joked. His face didn’t crack at all. “It’s funny, I’ve always been able to block out what people say about me. As I grew up I was made fun of ‘cause of my accent or ‘cause I was boyish or ‘cause I was so small. But I told myself it didn’t matter and that I was the only one who could dictate how I feel when I felt it. But…no matter how strong I am out here”—I waved my arms in the space—“I’m not in here.” I tapped my chest.

“Your sarcasm and wit can only hide so much,” he said, patting my knee.

“You’re too intuitive for your own good,” I mumbled a repeated phrase I’ve told him constantly over the years.

“So I’ve heard.” Now he grinned. “Listen, I know you’re scared about this tour thing—“

“I’m not scared!” I denied, hotly.

He lifted his eyebrows. “Right, ‘cause you always changing the subject once it’s brought up means you’re grasping the idea whole-heartedly.” I punched myself in the thigh, angry at myself for giving it away. I never show fear! He grasped my hand as if he could read my mind and gave it a squeeze. “You’ve done so much for us all ready. Do something that’ll make you happy.”

“What if it’s not the right thing? What if this isn’t it?”

His eyes studied my face. “Although it kills me to say this, you’re just not happy with us right.”

“Lance, don’t even—“I started.

“It’s true,” he interrupted me. “Since you came back that summer from filming and recording and working with the Backstreet Boys…you’ve changed. Not in a bad way but not in a good way either. It’s like…you’re stuck and I feel like we’re the ones holding you back.”

“No, Lancelot, that’s not it.”

He nodded. “It is. You just need time to find who you are and what you’re all about and—suffice to say—grow up at your pace.” He gave a sad smile. “All that you’ve been through in such a short time…it’s made you mature faster than you needed to. You need time to yourself to find out what you want in this life and to get it on your own terms and we don’t give you that freedom.”

“That’s my choice, Lance,” I argued. “I’m the one who decided to take on the job. I’m the one who decided to move in with you guys. I’m the one who decided to travel with you and make sure you guys were OK. Everything I’ve done has been my choice.”

“But it’s not fair for us to keep you from making the right one.”

“How is that even possible when I don’t even know what the right one for me is?”

“But you do,” he argued. “If you didn’t know you would’ve called all of this off and stayed with us, choreographing for us and be around when we needed you and not necessarily when we wanted you.” I flinched at his words. “I’m sorry I’m being so harsh but it’s the only way I know I can get through to you.” His voice was practically a whisper now. “It’ll take Justin a while to understand, but you need this. We need this. We’ve been your whole life for the past few years and it’s time we let you go.” He paused and added, “If you love them let them go. If they come back, it was meant to be.” He lifted his thumbs and brushed the tears off of my cheeks. I hadn’t even realized I started crying.

“Thanks Lancie.” I leaned forward and gave him a big hug, squeezing my eyes shut and taking in his scent. He gently stroked my hair and held me until I let go.

He then quoted with sparkling eyes, “And will you succeed? Yes indeed, yes indeed! Ninety-eight and three-quarters percent guaranteed!”