Justin and I are back on the tour today. I have to say that the bus has becoming homey and I'm happy to be back on the road. Justin and I are... getting along, so it cuts down on the tension.

We now move about the bus instead of staying in our own private quarters. After hearing about his previous relationship, I understand why he did some of the things he did. It doesn't justify the things he did and said, but it makes more sense now. I don't know what it's like to have my heart broken, but I imagine if you really love the person, it's painful.

The concert tonight is going to be at the Fleet Center, but not before we do an interview with Vogue. The pictures from Memphis sent girls panting for him. He takes his girlfriend home to Memphis and they spend Thanksgiving together (insert teenybopper squeal.) They love what he does, they just wish it was them instead of me.

Justin's laying on the couch reading one of my books, which I suppose any reading will benefit him. He told me he never read Pride & Prejudice, so he's now in the middle of it. I watch the highway out the window and contemplate the spontaneity of life. Last year I was struggling to survive and this year, I'm making more than I've ever seen in my life.

We get to the interview and having been coached by Craig on what to say, I nervously walk into the building with Justin. A woman comes up to us with blonde hair and a business suit on, "I'm Erica. You must be Justin," she says, shaking his hands, "and Summer," she says, shaking mine.

"Right this way. We'll be doing your photo shoot first and then the interview."

What?

"Um, excuse me, photo shoot?"

Erica turns around, "Yes. The magazine decided because of the publicity surrounding you and the demand for pictures, we would do a photo shoot."

I look at Justin, and he looks unsure of what to do. Finally, he pulls me closer and whispers in my ear, "It'll be fine. The interview is the most important thing to nail."

"I hate pictures of me, I'm not photogenic."

"You look fine, don't worry."

Ugh.   

Erica grabs a tiny white tank top and some jeans that are pretty low waisted, "Here, change into this and we'll do your makeup after. We want some pictures of Justin with his guitar and you leaning against him and some full body shots of just the two of you."

I put on the clothes reminding myself the money I'm making and come out. Red lipstick is applied to my lips and eye liner goes on. I'm given small hoop earrings and a silver toe ring. At least I get to go barefoot. Justin comes out in jeans and a tee shirt with a guitar strapped on to his back.

The photographer comes over, "Alright Justin, sit down and strum on the guitar, Summer, you kneel behind him and wrap your arms around his neck. Put your chin on his shoulder, that's right, perfect."

I listen to him play and he's actual quite talented. This isn't horrible and it's almost over. Just keep breathing.

"Alright, now we need the full body shots. Let's go outside."

We follow the photographer and stand against the gorgeous view outside.

"Now Summer, get closer to Justin. I want your stomachs touching. Justin, pull her shirt up a little and put your hand on her bare waist."

Now it's awkward.

Justin looks at me and licks his lips before obeying the photographer, lifting my shirt up a little and putting his hand on me. We stare at each other as the photographer tells us how to move. Then comes the clincher, "Okay, lay in the grass.

Justin take off your shirt and Summer, lay on his chest. Justin takes off his shirt and lays down on the ground. I sink slowly to my knees and lay on Justin's chest. He wraps an arm around my back and pulls my shirt up a little more, running his hands along my lower back. The photographer pushes my hair up over his shoulder and his chin hits the top of my head.

The photographer finally gets what he needs, "That's a wrap. Were done."

I jump up and pull my shirt back down. Way too close for comfort. Justin follows me and we return to the building to do our interview.

We sit in the chairs provided and Erica comes back, "Okay, Justin. You're beginning a new tour with some great new music, but the talk of the town is your new love interest, Summer Mackenzie."

Justin laughs, "Yeah, it does seem to be the question of the moment."

"How did you two meet?"

"She was at an after party for the release of my album. Summer was working for one of my assistants when I saw her."

"Now Summer, both your parents are dead, your father from a gang and your mother from drugs and cancer, but then there's nothing. There is no record of you afterwards."

I clear my throat, "I was homeless and bounced from shelter to shelter, living on the streets. I was lucky enough to get picked to clean up after parties and just happened to be at the party Justin was throwing."

"Was it love at first sight for you?" Erica says, smiling at me.

"No, it was after we spent time talking to each other. You can be the most attractive person in the world, but if you can't connect with them, it won't work."

"Justin, when did you first fall in love with Summer?"

"I just looked at her one day and knew. She's so smart and funny, anyone would fall in love with her, I'm just lucky I got to her first."

"You two have been together a lot. Summer is actually on tour with you and you spent Thanksgiving together. Do you ever feel the need to have your own space?"

Justin looks at me, "No, we get along so well that were comfortable enough to be ourselves."

"Now I heard your mother was at Thanksgiving with you. Did she like Summer?"

Justin takes my hand, "I can honestly say she loved her. Mom likes to see me happy."

"Summer, how does it feel to be followed and on the news, etc."

"It's weird, but I love Justin and being with him is more important than people deciding what kind of person I am."

"Justin, is there something about Summer you love more than anything else?"

Justin adjusts himself in the chair, "The fact that she's always trying to learn something new. She spends her time reading different books or trying to read the maps as we drive from state to state. She's smart and no one pushes her to be, she wants to do it herself."

I suddenly feel really hot and I'm sure my checks are burning. I do not remember that being the rehearsed answer to the question.

Erica stops the tape, "That was great you guys. Good luck on your tour Justin."

She shook our hands again and we get back in the car to go to the venue. Justin took me up to his dressing room and we pick at the food provided. I grab a salad and Justin takes a sandwich, "You know, that was the best interview I've done in a long time."

"Really?" I ask taking another bite.

"Yeah. I was calm and I had you as a buffer. It wasn't a scolding of my life; it was a nice. There was no "I heard you were grinding on some girl in a club."

"Well that's good."

All of a sudden, my lips start to burn. I look around crazily for any chap stick to put on. Then it dawns on me what's going on. I look at my salad and in it is shrimp, buried under the lettuce. 

I shakily grab for Justin's arm, "Justin, I'm think I'm having an allergic reaction."

He looks at me, "What?"

"There was shrimp in the salad, my throat is closing up!" I say, struggling to talk.

"Just keep breathing!" He says, grabbing the phone and dialing an emergency number.

"Help's on the way Sum, just hang on." He grabs for me as throat swells and I gasp for air.  

Justin's holding me against his chest as a doctor bursts through the door. That's the last thing I remember before blacking out.

____________________________________________________________________--

I wake up in the hospital; my throat hurts as well as my thigh. They must have jabbed me with medicine when the doctor came in the room. I look to the side of me and Justin's sleeping in the chair. A nurse comes into the room and notices I'm awake, "Hi, how are you feeling?"

I sit up a little, "Tired and sore."

She smiles sympathetically, "That's common. You need to keep an epi pen with you at all times from now on."

I run my hands through my hair, "I know. I just didn't have medicalinsurnace until recently."

The nurse checks my vitals, "Your boyfriend told us. We couldn't keep him out of this room. He was pacing the hall until we let him in the room. He was very concerned about you."

I'm shocked. I never thought he'd be one to pace a hall just to see how I am.

The nurse hands me a pen, "He insisted that I give you one and to have one permanently in his rider for the remainder of the tour. The doctors had to sign a document in order to get one at every stop on your trip."

I nod, confused. Why does he care?

The nurse leaves and I look around the room. It's a grey room with no much in it. The sky outside is black and rain pours from the clouds. I look over at Justin again. What about his concert tonight? His show should have just ended five minutes ago. Shit. Now I'm responsible for a concert cancellation. I'm pretty sure a refund for those tickets cost more than there paying me. Justin stirs in the chair and opens his eyes, "You woke up. How are you?"

"Fine. Did you have to cancel the concert tonight?"

"What? Oh yeah, don't worry about it." He gets up and sits next to me on the bed.

"What are you going to do? You should have preformed, I would have been just fine. Now you disappointed fans and lost money."

"We scheduled the concert to be made up tomorrow. Everybody just won't have the day off." He brushes some hair out of my face, "Besides, who would be here to make sure your okay when you woke up."

I pull my head back from him a little, "When did they say I could leave?"

"Tomorrow morning. They just want to make sure you are fine."

I pull at the hospital bracelet on my wrist, "What time are you leaving?"

He pulls his head back, "I'm not. Visitors can spend the night, so I said I would."

My stomach turns a little and I feel guilty for keeping him here, "You don't have to stay. I'll be fine by myself."

Justin shakes his head, "No, I'm not leaving you here by yourself. I called Trace and told him you were okay before he had a heart attack when he turned on the TV."

He reaches down by the bedside, "I bought a word search while I was waiting to be let into your room. It's not a board game, but I figured there's nothing else to do."

I take the book from his hand, "Did I ever tell you how much I love word searches? I bet I can find more words than you can."  

He grins, "No way. I did these on the tour in Germany when I first started out. I'm a pro."

I manage to smile, "Bring it on Playboy."

_______________________________________

I was finally released from the hospital early this morning. Justin's team had to give the press a news conference to tell them I was all right. I can't imagine these people caring about whether I am alive or not, but dating Justin makes me news. I never thought about the fame that would come with this. When everything's all set and done, they'll never forget that I once "dated" him. It will follow me wherever I go from now on no matter what road I take. 

Justin's putting in a practice session and I watch him dance and sing. His talent is obvious to onlookers, as people get ready for the show, putting things in place. Craig approaches me as I sit in the audience seats, "You okay?"

"Just a scare."

"A scare that almost cost you your life." Craig reminds me.

"So I've been told." I add playfully to lighten the mood.

"Hospital's orders, you need to go rest." He says, patting me on the knee. I think it's the first time he's touched me. I think I'm growing on him.

"Oh, alright." I walk to the bus and get on to grab my book before I go to the hotel.

Immediately I'm greeted with the smell of roses. I walk all the way inside and the bus is transformed. The once black furniture is replaced with white oversized pieces. Red roses lay in a vase on a side table and where there used to be bare wall space, a tiny bookshelf sits.

I go into the bedroom and the comforter is also replaced from black to a peaceful yellow. Chick flicks are next to my side of the bed on a rack and a first edition of A Little Princess is resting on my pillow. I hold the book delicately and wonder how anyone got his or her hands on it. 

I look at the small table we eat on and there in thyroid medication prescribed for me. I suck in and look around at it all in wonder. Did Justin do all this?

I hear footsteps climb the bus and I get up from the bed and go out to the living space. Justin is looking for something in the cabinet and has yet to notice my presence,

"Hey."

He spins around, "Hi, I thought you'd be resting in the hotel room."

"I'm going. Did you do all of this?"

"Um... yeah, kinda. He says quietly.

"Why?"

"We both have to live on it for the next five months. It was a little dark anyway." He clears his throat, "Come on, let's get you checked into the hotel room."

I follow him in a trance, unaware of what a proper thank you is for this type of gift. The one thing I cannot seem to grasp his why he would do this. I glance back at the bus as I leave, thinking nothing has ever been as beautiful at this.