20. Cool
Sunday morning rain is falling
“Rise and shine, lover!”
The sounds of curtains moving and Devin’s voice shook me out of my slumber “ good ass sleepin’, too “ and I let my eyes flirt with the possibility of actually opening before I rolled over in my king-sized bed and pulled a pillow over my head.
“Bitch, I said rise and shine,” Devin shouted. She pulled the pillow I’d been holding from my grasp and vilely hit me with it. “Wake up,” she whined.
“What time is it?” I asked groggily, yawning into the mattress.
“It’s eight AM.”
“Wake me up when it’s a two-digit time.”
“Baby,” she continued to whimper, “this is our last day on the tour before we go home.”
“So let’s enjoy it inside,” I whispered. “Rainy Sundays are made for sleepin’, baby.”
“Christmas is in four days, J! And I haven’t finished shopping yet.”
“Well whose fault is that?”
“Yours. You’ve consumed every minute of my free time,” she informed me. “Not to mention, it’s your gift that I need to get.”
Oh, hell. With that news, I turned so that I was laying on my side, facing the direction of her voice and slowly let my eyes open to a squint. “Nobody goes shopping at eight in the morning, Dev.”
“Well no, but we need to get an early start on breakfast so we can get moving. Even in Ireland, I’m sure the Sunday before Christmas is hella crazy in the shopping district.” She threw a t-shirt at me and fiddled with the curtains some more. “Plus, you have soundcheck at what? Five?”
“But why do I have to get up now?” I whined back.
Steal some cover, share some skin
Clouds are shrouding us in moments unforgettable
She eased herself onto the bed, letting her enticing naked ass settle into my crotch. “Your goal every morning should be to begin each day as if it were on purpose, babe.”
You twist to fit the mold that I am in
“That’s very inspiring,” I answered dryly. I rested my hand over her waist and discreetly let it travel up to her breast, teasing her left nipple with my thumb and index finger. “I can think of a purposeful way to begin this day.”
My fingers trace your every outline
Paint a picture with my hand
“Yeah, I bet your ass is up now,” she giggled, swatting my hand away. “Come on, get up.”
“Let’s just stay here for a few more minutes,” I suggested.
“Okay. Few more minutes,” she relented. “But I ordered breakfast, so we should get dressed before they get up here.”
“You should’ve told them to leave it outside so we could eat nekkid,” I chuckled into her ear.
“Mmm, that sounds inviting.”
I felt her smile against my face and grinned back in return. “It does, doesn’t it?”
“Yeah. It’ll be good,” she concurred, sighing happily.
Back and forth we sway like branches in a storm
Change of weather, still together when it ends
Somehow, somewhere into the eventual day, Devin did coerce me onto the shopping scene on Henry Street in Dublin. And amazingly, it didn’t suck as much as I thought it would. Then again, I always did like Christmas shopping... once someone finally got my ass out there. Half of the five hours we allotted for searching was spent apart so that we could find one another’s gifts. But at this point, we’d met back up at Arnott’s and were searching for I don’t exactly know what.
“What’d you get your mom?” Devin questioned, strolling down the crowded walkway with her arm clutched to mine. “I have no idea what to get mine.”
“I got my mom a bunch of crystal figurine thingies,” I answered absently, staring into the unrelenting crowds. “She eats shit like that up.”
“Oohh, like Swarovski stuff?”
“Whatever it’s called,” I chuckled. “The shit was expensive as hell.”
“Cheap ass.”
“Hopefully, it’ll all be shipped there by the time we get home,” I stated, realizing just how close we were to Christmas.
“I’m so glad to be going home,” she enthusiastically commented, suddenly switching subjects. “I miss Americans.”
“You jackass, everyone on the tour is American,” I chuckled.
“Well yeah, but like... shut up,” she laughed. “I had to miss my Thanksgiving fuckin’ with you people. I’m ready to go home.”
“Well hey, you know I’m ready to be home. I haven’t been to Memphis for more than two days since last Thanksgiving.”
“That’s true,” she realized. “Damn, baby, you need to learn to rest.”
“I plan to. After we finish this tour, I ain’t doin’ shit in 2004.”
“Yeah, right. You said that after the PopOdyssey Tour,” she recalled. “You just don’t know how to rest.”
“Watch me,” I argued, letting myself be pulled into the Miss Sixty section of the big ass department store. “And I don’t think your mama is gonna want any of this shit over here.”
“Probably not, but I do. You ever gone jeans-shoppin’ with your girl before?”
“No, because I’ve never been stupid enough to get trapped like this.”
“Surprising,” she mumbled sarcastically before squeezing my hand. “You can disappear again if you want.”
“Nah, let’s go try on some jeans. I know what looks best on you.”
She let out a loud cackle and picked up a pair of dark blue denims. “Oh, is that so?”
“That is so.”
“So how are these?” She held the hanger at her waist, letting the pants fall against her unending legs. “Yeah?”
“I’d have to see your ass in ‘em first,” I joked. I held out my hand to take her two bags and told her, “Go pick out some shit and I’ll wait for you out here.”
“Ohh, aren’t you the gentleman,” she smiled.
As she disappeared into the dressing room with an armful of jeans, the vibration of my phone interrupted my fixation on her exit, and I absently answered it without even checking the ID. “Hello?”
“J, where you at?” It was Trace.
“I’m shoppin’. Why, am I late?” I asked, struggling with all our bags to check my watch.
“Nah, I mean where in the store are you?”
“In the women’s section,” I shrugged. “Are you here?”
“Uh... yeah,” he answered awkwardly. “And I got somebody with me.”
Oh, Lord. I bet it’s Mikey. I’ve been worrying about her showing up ever since I ignored her call last month. Hesitantly, I questioned, “Who is it?”
“I can’t really tell you that, but we’re headed in your direction, so you might wanna disappear, dude.”
“Who is it?” I chuckled.
“It’s Cameron,” he whispered loudly, sending me crashing into the clothes rack beside me.
“Fuck,” I muttered, picking up all my shit. “Dude, what?”
“She just showed up at the hotel, dude. And she came in demanding that somebody take her to wherever you are.”
“So y’all just did it?” I yelled. “What the hell, dude.”
“Well, what? I was supposed to just say No?”
“Yeah!”
“Well, sorry, man.”
“Who’s with you?”
“It’s just me, her and Eric.”
With a big ass sigh, I began to turn in slight circles, searching for my own bodyguard, finding him perched along the wall beside the dressing room. “Alright, man. Thanks for the warning.” Closing my phone, I called, “Yo, Todd,” walking the small distance between us. “You’ll let me know if you spot Cameron anywhere?” I handed him my bags and pulled my black hood over my head. “The bitch followed me out here.”
“Are you serious?”
“Yep,” I nodded. “I mean, don’t do anything to her or nothin’, but I don’t wanna see her.”
“I got you,” he smirked.
“Okay,” Devin announced herself just in the nick of time, “where are you, J?”
“I’m here,” I smiled, stepping into view.
Modeling a pair of skin-tight denims across the small doorway, she smiled and asked, “You like? Or no?”
“Okay,” I nodded, licking my lips. “I think I like.” I would’ve stared and nodded longer but I heard that unmistakable guffaw that seemed to escape Cameron Diaz’s lips about every five minutes and my stomach dropped in fear that she was in the vicinity. On instinct, I grabbed Devin by her waist and pulled her backwards into the dressing room, sneaking through the nearest empty door.
“Justin, what the hell are you doin’?” she loudly demanded.
“Shhhhhh!”
“What!” she hissed. “What’s goin’ on?”
“Cameron is out there,” I whispered.
“Okay, and?”
“And... I don’t wanna see her,” I answered with obviousness in my tone.
“So you’re gonna hide from her?” she laughed. “Boy, come on.”
“Devin, stop it,” I instructed through gritted teeth, holding her forearm. “Don’t go out there.”
“What is she gonna do, J? Bite you?”
“Shit, she might!”
“You’re a fool,” she smiled. “How ‘bout if I go out there and get rid of her?”
“If you break somethin’ else on the woman, she might sue you, Dev.”
“This is ridiculous.” She peeked through the slightly open door and then turned back to me. “I don’t even hear her out there.”
“That’s ‘cause she wants us to think she’s gone,” I maintained. “Don’t fall for her shit.”
“You sound insane.”
“You gotta think like ‘em to beat ‘em.”
“Okay, but baby, we gotta be at Point Theatre or whatever the hell it’s called in less than three hours and I have nothing for my mama.”
“Then why you tryin’ on jeans?”
“Because I didn’t think you’d have me trapped in a dressing room ‘cause you’re too scared to face your ex-girlfriend.”
“She was not my girlfriend,” I immediately shot back in correction.
She rolled her eyes and began to peel the newly discovered pants from her hips. “Whatever. The point is, you can stay in here all damn night if you want to. But I’m leavin’.”
“Devin.”
“Justin,” she mocked me, “come on.”
“But she’s crazy,” I whined. “What if she doesn’t go away?”
“Okay, listen “ let’s just go out there and if she spots us, we’ll keep walkin’. All right?”
‘Cause mami’s a rider and I’m a roller
Put us together, how they gon’ stop both us?
“I can do that,” I smiled.
“Let’s go then.”
“Devin, you might wanna put your pants back on first,” I suggested with a laugh, watching her head for the door in her underwear.
Blushing, she moved back into the room, replacing her own jeans and shaking her head. “You know, I was just seein’ if you were gonna say anything.”
“I’m sure.”
Whatever she lacks, I’m right over her shoulder
“You ready?”
“As I’ll ever be,” I sighed.
“It’s gonna be fine, babe.” She pushed the dressing room door open and peeked out of it one more time before pulling me to her side. “Where’s Todd?”
“He should be right up there,” I replied, pointing at nothing. “Wouldn’t he get us caught, though?”
“Probably, but how do we leave without him?”
“This is true.”
When I’m off track, mami is keepin’ me focused
“Alright, let’s just go and hopefully he’ll follow us,” she directed.
Following her instruction, the two of us traipsed further into the department store, arm-in-arm, trying to dodge the throngs of shoppers, and more importantly, Cameron, as we headed down the store’s walkway.
I refused to look back, so I had no idea whether Todd was onto us or not. “I feel like a fugitive.”
“Well I feel like a bitch,” she countered with a smirk. “I can’t believe I’m running from this woman.”
“Well think of this way “ I’m the one running. You’re just going along for the ride.”
And no, I ain’t perfect, nobody walking this Earth’s surface is
But girlfriend work with the kid
She grinned and pulled my hand to her lips to kiss the tops of my knuckles. “I’ll take that.”
“Shit,” I commented. My phone was ringing. Again.
“What’s wrong?”
“Cameron’s calling.”
“Oh, shit,” she laughed, turning to scope the scene behind us. “She’s like, tryin’ to act like she’s browsing.”
Still staring at my phone, I asked, “How close is she?”
“Maybe ten yards or so.”
“Crazy bitch,” I muttered.
“Oh, leave the ho alone. She loves you,” she laughed back. “You gonna answer it?”
“Now why the hell would I do that?”
“‘Cause she could“.”
Just then, Cameron erupted into Devin’s sentence by foolishly yelling my name across Arnott’s like a damn crackhead. “Justin!”
““Do something crazy,” Devin finished, discreetly turning to look at her again. “Just keep walking, man. We’re almost at the elevator.”
“And you don’t think she’s gonna catch us while we’re watin’ for it?”
“Can you just trust me?”
“I trust you.”
“Good. Now keep your hood up, okay?” I nodded and waited for her to keep going. “If she gets too close, I got you covered. Just don’t turn back and then wait for me at the car.”
“Wait, but what about your mom’s gift?” I asked as we approached the end of the walkway.
She turned back to Cameron and then looked at me as I pushed the elevator button. “Just get to the car, okay?” She pulled my face towards hers by my hood and planted a wet kiss on my forehead. “Now go.”
She do anything necessary for him
From the corner of my eyes, I watched her slowly retreat from my side before suddenly turning all the way around and stalking towards Cameron. In the small distance between me and the two of them, I easily overheard their exchange and smiled at Devin’s successful attempt to lead Cameron in the opposite direction.
But I couldn’t find it in me to let it go down like that. “Devin!” I yelled back at her, ignoring her wishes to stay turned away from them.
Her head shot towards me and she gave me a glare that caused me to smile. “What are you doing?” she mouthed to me.
As the elevator doors finally opened for me, I held one side of them with my hand while signaling for her with the other. “You’re gonna miss the elevator, girl!”
And I do anything necessary for her
“Justin, is that you?” Cameron interrupted, beginning to walk toward me. “Dude, I’ve been looking for you everywhere!”
“Dev, hurry up.”
She gave Cameron a glance and then grinned at me, letting go of the grip she had on Cam’s elbow before making a dash towards me and into the elevator. I stepped in right behind her and we both watched with giant smiles as the doors closed in Cameron’s face.
“We’re dirty,” she cackled, leaning into the side of the car.
So don’t let the necessary occur, yep
“I’m gonna get so much shit for this,” I chuckled, feeling my phone ringing yet again. Shaking my head, I held it up for Devin to see and then shoved it right back into my pocket.
“You should answer it and be like, ‘Hmm, I didn’t see you.’”
“Devin, that is so immature.”
“You’re right,” she relented in agreement. As quiet fell over us and the vibration of my cell ate up the silence, she randomly started chuckling. “So you’re gonna do it anyway, right?”
Retrieving my Motorola from my pocket, I smiled and flipped the phone open. “Of course.”
All I need in this life of sin is me and my girlfriend
Down to ride ‘til the very end, it’s me and my boyfriend
“Guess who’s awake!” I announced to a seemingly empty house as I traipsed down the staircase of my parents’ Millington mansion with a yawning Jailyn in my arms. “You missed me, didn’t you?” I asked Jai, softly wiping her face with a warm washcloth.
“Justin, did you go up there and wake her up?” my mom gently scolded me, approaching the two of us when I stepped into the kitchen.
“I did no such thing,” I smiled innocently. “She wanted to come down and spend time with her daddy.”
Ignoring my little white lie, my mom asked her, “Did Daddy wake you up?”
Jailyn, cute as ever, just giggled to her grandmother’s touch and nuzzled into my chest. “Isn’t she adorable?”
“She’s precious,” she agreed. “And you should give her somethin’ to eat while you’re in here.”
“I’m a step a head of you,” I answered, heading for Jailyn’s cabinet at the end of the kitchen. “Where’s Summer?”
Going back to her bumbling around the kitchen, my mom distractedly answered, “She went next door to bake pies for tomorrow with your grandmother.”
“And where’s Dad?”
“He went to pick up the ham.”
“The honey-baked ham?” I questioned, my eyes lighting up.
“That would be the one,” she chuckled. “And before you ask, Devin went over to her dad’s house to drop off gifts but she wanted you to give her a call and tell her what to wear tonight.”
“Cool,” I nodded, choosing a jar of peaches from the cupboard. “So it’s just the three of us?”
“It’s gonna be just the two of you soon. I gotta get to Kroger before it closes,” she explained. “In fact, what time is it?”
“Isn’t Kroger open twenty-four hours?”
“Not on Christmas Eve, sweetie. They close at 8:00.”
“Well calm down,” I laughed, watching her hustle in circles around the large kitchen. “It’s not even 5:00 yet.”
“You know how the crowds are. I need all the time I can get.”
“Can we go with you?”
She stopped in her tracks and stared at me and Jailyn with a happy grin. “Of course! You really want to?”
“Sure.”
It’s a wonderful feeling
Feel the love in the room from the floor to the ceiling
It’s that time of year, Christmas time is here
And with the blessings from above, God sends you His love
About fifteen minutes later, after Jailyn and I had gotten dressed for December in Memphis, the three of us piled into my mom’s champagne Mercedes and headed down the quiet roads of Shelby Forest.
“I love being home like this,” I commented from the back of the car, handing small pieces of banana to my daughter. “Everything seems incredibly... perfect right now.”
“You do seem a lot more relaxed,” she noticed.
“I haven’t been this happy all year.”
“It makes me happy to see you happy, baby.”
As Jailyn began to babble into her banana, I smiled down at her and then watched my mom through her rear-view mirror. “You think I made the right decision?”
“About what?”
“Being with Devin.”
“Well, you know how much I love her. She’s obviously a wonderful choice.”
“Mom.”
“Only time will tell whether you made the right one, Justin. But she clearly makes you happy, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Then be content with that.”
And everything’s okay
Merry Christmas, happy holidays
Not that I thought she was wrong, but Mama was more than right about the crowds at Kroger. The place was packed to the point where even the express lanes were backed up through the frozen dinners section. Shit, I didn’t even know this many people lived in Millington. Nonetheless, Jailyn and I trailed my mother with our shopping cart, browsing every damn aisle of the supermarket, searching for the ingredients to Christmas dinner.
“Justin, you wanna do me a favor?”
“Depends. What is it?”
“I think I’m gonna need some more cabbage. You feel like it?”
“You would ask when we’re on the other side of the store.”
“Oh, just do it.”
I rolled my eyes exaggeratedly and gave Jai a quick kiss to the top of her head before smiling and telling her, “Watch my baby.”
“Gladly.”
With that, I trudged towards the produce section, wondering if I’d be able to tell the difference between raw cabbage and lettuce without a sign to tell me. My mind probably would’ve drifted further into random ass oblivion if I hadn’t noticed Michaela standing at the peach baskets, picking through them. I turned back, considering facing my mother without a cabbage, but I decided that the two options I was left with were much less immature. So that left me with the choice of talking to her or ignoring her.
Coolly, I sauntered to where she stood, pretending that I needed my own peaches “ which wasn’t far off, because my granny could never have too many peaches. “What’s up,” I said to her casually.
She looked up and bit her lip with smiling, dark eyes, seemingly not surprised to see me. “Wow, hey.”
“How are you?”
“Pretty good,” she smiled. “How about you?”
“Good,” I nodded, fidgeting with random peaches. “School’s going good?”
“Yeah, really good. I got all A’s this semester.”
“Congratulations.”
“Thanks,” she answered, clearing her throat. “I um... How’s the tour going?”
“Good, good. It’s been fun.”
“The McDonald’s thing seems to be going well.”
“Yeah, it’s pretty cool,” I continued to nod like a bobble head. “Hey listen, I’m sorry about never returning your call last month,” I suddenly announced. “I’ve just been busy...”
“No, don’t worry about it,” she dismissed. “I was just getting sick of Cameron calling me incessantly and I was gonna ask you to get her off of my back. But she eventually stopped.”
“Cameron called you? For what?”
“I dunno,” she laughed. “I think she’s concocting some kind of plan to get you back.”
“I wouldn’t put it past her,” I mumbled. “Yeah, we don’t really talk anymore.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah... me and Devin are together now.”
“Oh yeah, I saw a couple of pictures of you guys at some club in Amsterdam,” she recalled.
“Yeah.”
“Well, congratulations to you.”
“Thanks,” I smiled, beginning to think of Devin.
“So, how long are you home for this time?”
“Umm, not too long. We’re going to Vail for New Year’s, so...”
“Oh.”
“Yeah.”
“Just you and Devin?”
“No, no,” I quickly disconfirmed, “there’s a bunch of us going, just to like, ski and hang out and shit.”
“Sounds like fun.”
“Yeah.” This is weird. “Well hey, if you’re not too busy tomorrow, maybe you can come by the house and hang out. Maybe for some dessert or somethin’.”
“Tomorrow’s Christmas,” she smirked.
“I think I know that,” I laughed.
“So, you should probably wanna be with your family and your girlfriend and...”
“And?”
“And... I’ll see you some other time.”
I boldly made a move to stand by her side and take her by the hand, attempting to say the sorry I never gave her. “Listen, I understand if you’re still angry. In fact, you should be,” I chuckled. “But I know that I hurt you, and I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry, too. But I’m really not angry about it.” She gave me a smile but dropped my hand coldly. “I just think it’s for the best if we let our relationship stay where it is.”
Every time I see you, I’m reminded of every time we did it
All those other women, every time you lied to me
Said you only had eyes for me
“At nonexistent?” I asked. “Why?”
“Because.”
“Because?”
“Because when I’m around you, I turn into someone I don’t wanna be,” she answered honestly. “And I’m not strong enough to fight it, so I’d rather just avoid it.”
I don’t wanna lose my focus
But it’s bound to leave every time you come runnin’ into me
“Wow.”
“So, I think it’s best for me that I stay on the run from you.”
I rubbed my hand over my face, remembering my harsh words to her on that fateful day in July, suddenly feeling a ton of remorse for what I said. “I didn’t mean that.”
“Yes you did,” she smiled. “But you were right.”
“No, I wasn’t.”
“Yes, you were. You told me what the deal was and I couldn’t hear you, so it shouldn’t matter to you. But you just gotta understand that I’m not ready to act like it never happened. I’m not that strong.”
All we used to be shouldn’t even matter to me
Well it’s too late now ‘cause I’m reminded
I wanna put it behind but I’m behind it
“So, no friends? No nothing?” I shot her an expectant glance and then scanned the area for the cabbage, knowing that I’d be disappearing within a matter of seconds.
“No, I mean... I’d like to be your friend, if we could be. Just... not now.”
Lord knows I’m tired
As much as I’d love to join you on planet Earth right now
Know that I’m too hurt right now to be civilized
I need this time alone ‘cause it won’t be long
“You think it’ll be ever?”
“I dunno,” she quipped. “I need to find comfort with me before I can be comfortable with you, and I don’t know when that’s gonna be.”
Oh, I’ll be back
Lost my way, got off track
Please try to understand, I used to love you man
“Okay,” I nodded in empathy. “Okay.”
“So um, Merry Christmas. ” She held out her long arms and motioned to hug me while holding onto that contagious smile of hers, telling me that she still contained that yearn to make everyone else happy “ even if she wasn’t. “I’m sorry about this.”
“Just... let me know when you’re ready,” I said quietly, squeezing her tightly. “And y’all have a Merry Christmas, too.”
We pulled apart and she began to brush her straight bangs from her eyes, nodding and looking down to the tiled floor. “We will, thanks.”
“Take care, all right?” I rubbed her back one more time and disappeared into the growing Christmas Eve crowd, wondering if that was really it for us. Then, deciding that it really was for the best, I returned to my search for cabbage and went back to my happiness.
All we used to be shouldn’t even matter to me
“Knock, knock,” my mom proclaimed before peeking into my bedroom. “Are you decent?”
I pulled my red and white t-shirt over my long-sleeved, white undershirt and faced the door. “Yeah, come on.”
“Don’t you look adorable,” she smiled.
“Thanks,” I chuckled. “Where’s Jai?”
“Your father is downstairs chasing her around the living room.”
“She moves quick on those knees.” I smiled to myself thinking of Jailyn crawling around the house with my dad running after her. “Lord knows I can hardly catch her.”
“I’m surprised she can move that quickly with her asthma.”
“Yeah...” I trailed off in disdain.
“Oh, don’t get all quiet now,” she advised, running her long, red nails through my short hair. “She’s fine, baby.”
“I know. It’s just hard to think about it.”
“She’s strong, Justin.”
“It still worries me, though.”
“So,” she inserted, trying to lift my spirits by indiscreetly switching subjects, “where are you and Devin off to tonight?”
“I dunno,” I shrugged. “We’re just hangin’ out to celebrate our ‘anniversary,’” I chuckled with air quotes, “and we’re gonna exchange Christmas gifts at midnight.”
“It’s been a month already?”
“It’s been a month.”
“Time flies,” she laughed hoarsely.
“When you’re having fun.” I picked through my assortment of colognes and settled on the Polo Blue, dabbing a little underneath my chin and a splash in my pants. “Sometimes I worry about being this happy.”
“Why?”
“‘Cause what goes up must come down,” I smiled, running a brush over my head.
“No, I think you guys are good.”
“I think so, too. I’ve been fightin’ it, but I really do love that girl.”
Her cobalt stare, identical to mine, beamed at me. Even without her saying it, I knew she was happy to finally see me with a true smile on my face. “Don’t fight it. Just let whatever happens happen.”
“Yeah.”
“I saw you talking to Michaela today “ what was that about?”
“Nothin’,” I shrugged again. “I just happened to see her, we talked and then went our separate ways.”
“Was she surprised to see you?”
“I don’t think so,” I decided, licking my lips. “Have you talked to her lately?”
“She still comes by every now and then to see the doggies, but whenever I see her out and about, she’s got her boyfriend with her so I don’t bother her.” My mother goofily wiggled her arched eyebrows and watched me through my dresser mirror. “Did she tell you she had a boyfriend?”
“No, she failed to mention that,” I calmly reported to her.
“They seem to get along well. When they go out, he always opens the car door for her and carries her bags and always walks her to the door,” she went on explaining in her fairytale-like state. “It’s so romantic.”
“Do you like, sit in the living room and watch her house twenty-four/seven?” I laughed.
“Don’t be silly, Justin. It’s just things I notice.”
“Mom, stop being a stalker.”
“Well, I just thought you’d wanna know what she’s been up to!”
“Even if I cared, I wouldn’t want you following her.” As I said that, the doorbell rang and I went traipsing out of the room with my mother on my heels.
“Well, I had to make sure you didn’t care before you professed your love for Devin,” she informed me as we walked down the steps together. “I wonder why she didn’t tell you, though.”
“I appreciate your concern. But maybe she just didn’t want me to know.”
“Well did you tell her about you and Devin?”
“Yep.”
“Then why wouldn’t she tell you about Nick unless she wanted you to think she was still available?”
“Mom, you think too much,” I told her. Without much thinking as to who was at the door, I swung it wide open expecting to find Devin but was surprised to see Mikey staring back at me, bundled up in a large, white bubble coat and a shopping bag in her gloved hand. “Well, hello again.”
“Hi. I um... I hope I’m not interrupting anything.”
“Not at all.” I stepped aside to allow her into our warm abode, offering to take her jacket and bag in the process. “What can we do for you?”
“Well, I um, I bought a few gifts for you and Jailyn and your mom and I wanted to get them here before it was too late.”
“Wow, I don’t know what to say,” I nervously smiled.
“Oh, you didn’t have to do that,” my mom loudly interjected. “That is so sweet!”
“I know, but I wanted to.”
“Come on in,” Mama encouraged, bringing her towards the kitchen. “You want some hot cocoa?”
I heard Mikey consent to the drink as the two of them escaped to the next room, and I shifted into the living room to retrieve the Christmas card I’d gotten her from the stack underneath the tree. I felt bad that her address had already been printed on it, prepared to be delivered to her mailbox and not her hands, but I honestly didn’t know how she’d receive me if I would have just shown up on her doorstep. “Merry Christmas,” I announced, stepping into the kitchen to hand her the long white envelope.
“Wow, I wasn’t expecting anything.”
“I know,” I smiled. “It’s not much, but I did think of you.” I winked at my mom and the two of us looked on while Michaela carefully opened the envelope and slowly read the damn card before taking notice of the gift inside the freakin’ thing.
“You’re kidding!” she squealed, looking up to me with bright brown eyes. “I love Emeril!”
“I know,” I nodded. “They’re open tickets to any taping, so you can go whenever you get the chance.”
“Wow, thank you so much.”
“No problem.” She stood up to initiate our second hug of the day, and I gave her a friendly kiss on the cheek before the doorbell rang and I pulled away. “I hope you enjoy it,” I told her.
“I know I will. You know how I love to eat.”
“I do,” I laughed, remembering how she could eat anything, anywhere, anytime. I still don’t know where she puts it all. “But if you’ll excuse me...”
“No, go right ahead,” she waved me off, sitting back down to interact with my mom and her mug of hot chocolate.
A seemingly permanent smile plastered on my face, I moved back to the foyer to welcome our next visitor inside from the cold, hoping that it was who I thought it was. I opened the door to find my gorgeous Devin, wearing a coincidentally similar outfit to mine, consisting of a red shirt and dark jeans, smiling back at me. “Hey, lover.”
“It’s about damn time,” I joked, pulling her into my arms. We greeted one another with a pre-Christmas kiss under the door’s mistletoe before turning into the rest of the house.
“Merry Christmas!” she yelled to no one in particular, handing me her navy blue coat. “Where’s my favorite little bambina?
“She should be getting ready for bed,” I realized, peeking in the den to see Jailyn and Summer falling asleep on the couch.
“Aww, but I thought she was coming with us.”
“No, no more outings after midnight for her. Thanks to you, she took hours to get back to sleep that night.”
“Don’t blame that on me,” she exclaimed, hitting me upside the head. “Where’s your mom?”
“In the kitchen,” I answered, pulling her with me to where my mom and Mikey sat at the breakfast nook.
“What a lovely surprise,” Devin proclaimed once she saw our other houseguest. “Hi, Michaela.”
“Devin. Hi,” she smiled, standing up to embrace her.
“Merry Christmas,” Devin added, awkwardly and quickly returning her hug. “Hey, Miss Lynn.”
“Devin, I told you to call me Lynn,” my mom grinned at her. After getting up to greet her again, she headed for the stove to prepare another cup of cocoa. “How’s your dad doing?”
“He’s good. He sends his love and everything and he said thank you for putting up with me,” she laughed. Damn, I loved her laugh. “So Michaela, how have you been?” she questioned, graciously receiving the warm cup from my mom.
“I’ve been really good,” she stated animatedly. “And you?”
“Same.” Devin leaned against the counter of the kitchen with a smile, taking small sips from her cup while gazing across the room at me. “You okay, J?”
“I’m awesome.”
“Then why are you staring at me like you want me to shut up?”
Because I love you. “Because I want to.”
“Dork,” she giggled. “You ready to go?”
I glanced at Michaela, who was busy trying to ignore us by devouring the Christmas cookies that sat at the table and then looked at my mom, staring at me lovingly. This was awkward, but a good kind of awkward for once. It felt like everything was right in the world. And I wasn’t screaming for help to find joy “ I was just screaming for joy. “Yeah, let’s go.”
It’s that time of year, Christmas is here
Everybody’s back together again
Spreading the joy, spreading good cheer
Toasting to another year’s end
It was already damn near 10:00 when Devin and I finally packed into my diamond white Escalade, headed for downtown Memphis. The original plan was to be gone by 9:00, but it takes a lot to tear me away from Jailyn... even when she’s asleep. But with any luck, we would make up for that lost hour somewhere along the way.
“So, can I ask where we’re goin’?” Devin requested, turning down the sounds of my CD that were softly floating through the car. “Or is it a big surprise kinda thing?”
“No, we’re goin’ to the Peabody. Nothing extravagant.”
“I don’t mind extravagant, you know.”
“Well, I do.”
“I bet Britney would’ve gotten extravagant,” she mumbled, folding her arms as she slouched in her seat. “Why I get the cheap shit?”
“Why don’t you shut up,” I quipped. After about two minutes of silence, I thought I’d gotten away with my rude remark until I felt her nails digging into the side of my neck before I swatted her away. “Are you insane?” I shouted.
“Shut up,” she laughed, “that didn’t hurt.”
I glanced at her peripherally and smiled in spite of myself. “You’re lucky I like you.”
“Oh yeah? Why’s that?”
“‘Cause if I didn’t, I’d have to kick yo’ ass.”
“You know, I’ve been waitin’ on that ass-kickin’ for damn near ten years now.”
“Tonight just might be your lucky night then,” I winked.
“Oh, after you get my gift, you’re gonna be kissin’ my ass, baby.”
“Well you know, I plan to do that anyway.”
“Must you be so crude on Christmas?”
“Technically, it’s not Christmas yet.”
“It’s our Christmas, dammit. Now be good.”
“I don’t see why we have to celebrate tonight anyway. Christmas Eve isn’t even a real holiday.”
“Because,” she sighed, “you should spend Christmas day with your family.”
“And I could’ve spent Christmas night with you.”
“Well geez, I’ll be there, J. I just don’t wanna take you away from them.”
“Well aren’t you thoughtful,” I joked drily.
“When’s the last time you saw your brothers?”
I shrugged as I exited off of I-240, headed for Madison Avenue. “What does that have to do with anything?”
“I’m sure they’d like to spend more than a couple of hours with you a year.”
“After they get their gifts from me, they won’t know my name anymore,” I scoffed.
“Well, stop spending a million dollars on them every year.”
As we were stopped at a traffic light, I gazed in her direction and waited for her to notice my glare. I hated when she lectured me. But I loved it. “So, do you have a point to all this?”
“Yes.” She patted my cheek softly and told me, “Enjoy the damn night.”
When the party is over, the night’s just begun
I promise the best part is yet to come
“So are you gonna close your eyes or do I have to blindfold you?” I asked, as we moved through the lobby of Memphis’s famed Peabody Hotel, headed for the elevators.
“What the hell do I have to close my eyes for?”
“‘Cause I do shit like this and I want you to.”
“You’re gonna throw me into the pool, aren’t you?”
“You’re an idiot,” I laughed animatedly, following her into the elevator car and pressing the ‘S’ button on the way in. “Don’t you trust me?”
“No.”
“Devin.”
“Okay, okay. I’ll close my eyes.”
“And if you peek, I’m taking your ass home.”
“I won’t peek,” she promised. “You better not leave me in here either.”
“Just keep your damn eyes closed until I tell you to open them.”
She just had to roll her cyan orbs one more time before shutting them tightly and reaching blindly for my hand as a guide. “I can’t believe I’m letting you do this,” she commented, finally finding complacence with my fingers interlocked with her own.
“Just trust me,” I whispered. Once we reached the top of the hotel, the suite floor, I led her down the decorative corridor, chuckling to myself at the way she cautiously tiptoed along the marble floor as if she were trying to avoid stepping into something. “There’s nothin’ on the floor, baby.”
“I just don’t wanna walk into anything, if you don’t mind.”
“I don’t mind at all,” I laughed. I pulled out the key to our Romeo & Juliet suite, hoping that when the concierge said everything was set up that he knew what he was talking about. Even though I knew what to expect, when I opened the door to the room, I still managed to be pleasantly surprised with the outcome of all my extensive planning.
“Are we back outside?” she queried. She must’ve noted the chill that accompanied us into the room.
Not answering her, I simply pulled her to the center of the exquisite room and then let go of her hand, letting myself fade into an adjacent wall with a smile. “Okay, open ‘em.”
Contentedly, I watched her eyes flutter open and begin to twinkle at the sight before her. The already gorgeous black and white room had been decorated to exact the effect of a winter wonderland, complete with a snow-covered Christmas tree. “Oh, my God,” she giggled at the vision.
“You said you wished it would snow in Memphis on Christmas at least once.”
“I did?”
“Yep. That year, it must’ve been like 1996, I guess. And it was like sixty-five degrees on Christmas and everyone was outside on their bikes and shit and you wouldn’t come out ‘cause you were mad because you wanted it to snow.”
She began to giggle so hard that tears had spilled onto her cheeks. “I can’t believe you remembered that.”
“You’d be surprised what I know about you,” I said softly, trudging through the blanket of snow on the floor to join her in the middle of the room.
“This is amazing,” she sighed, taking my hand. “God, thank you so much.”
“It was my pleasure,” I grinned, happy to fall in to her embrace. With another laugh, I added, “Happy anniversary, girl.”
“Mmm,” she sighed, inhaling and then exhaling my scent. “Happy Anniversary.” We stood in our hug for quite some time, her face nestled into my neck before she interrupted our beautiful silence. “Justin?”
“Yeah?”
“I’m cold,” she divulged, her chest vibrating against mine as she laughed.
“There’s usually cold involved in snow, dumbass.”
“Shut up, bitch.”
“How ‘bout you dance with me. It’ll keep you warm.”
“You know I’ll never turn down a dance,” she smiled, locking her arms around my neck. “You gonna sing somethin’?”
“I was thinkin’ we could just move to the silence.”
Our light sway around the chilly room was very romantic. I thought it would be hard to find a rhythm without music, but it seemed that as we danced to our own song, the rhythm naturally came along with it. It was gorgeous for me to witness, much less be a part of and it just felt... perfect.
Slow dance together, two become one
That’s what we’ve waited all day for
I think we must’ve rocked through the silence for almost an hour before we decided that our hands and toes were becoming numb and that it was time to head into the other half of the suite “ the warm half “ to continue with the evening.
“So when do you want your gift?” Devin asked, popping the last of her broccoli in her mouth. We were sitting on the black and white floor, finishing a dinner that consisted of steak and a bunch of vegetables, and watching the fireplace while a Christmas soundtrack tickled the atmosphere with holiday cheer.
“At midnight, like we agreed.”
“It is midnight, stupid.”
“Well then gimme my shit,” I teased, pushing my empty plate to the side. I silently observed her strut to the cart full of our stuff that the bellman had brought up to the room and pull a relatively large box from her shopping bag, as well as a smaller one from her suitcase.
“Open this one first,” she demanded, handing me what had to be a bracelet, necklace or watch box with Cartier printed on the top. “Sorry I didn’t wrap it.”
“It’s fine,” I dismissed, removing the long lid to reveal a leather watch with huge ass diamonds circling the face. I smiled up at her and then looked back down at the watch to notice that the watch’s hands were made up of a platinum little J and T. “That’s awesome,” I chuckled. I stood up to give her another hug and vehemently added, “Thank you, baby.”
“You’re welcome.”
“How and where did you find this in Ireland?”
“Well, to be honest, I actually got it designed when we were in London. I just had to get you out of the way that day we went shopping in Dublin ‘cause it was being delivered.”
“Sneaky,” I smiled. “You learn quickly.”
“Who says money can’t buy happiness,” she chuckled, rolling her eyes. “I’m glad you like it.”
“I love it.”
“But hopefully, you’ll like this one even more.” Taking a seat beside me, she handed me the other gift which had been armed in silver and white paper and smiled as I began to uncover the large, heavy box. “This one is sort of from me and my brother,” she explained. “‘Cause I couldn’t get just anyone to do it.”
“Oh Lord,” I replied, finding that the box indicated there was a picture frame inside. I stared at her suspiciously as I pulled out the large frame, wondering what kind of crazy shit her and her brother could’ve produced. To my surprise, I was met with this amazing charcoal sketch of Jailyn resting on my chest, the two of us fast asleep. “Wow,” was all I could say.
Got a feeling that my heart’s never known
I found love
“You like it?”
“How did... “
“I took the picture of y’all when Summer brought her to Manchester and you two had spent that entire day together. Y’all were so cute, I couldn’t resist.”
“And your brother did this from just a picture?”
“Yep. Looks like he might actually do something with his miserable life,” she smiled.
“This is incredible, Dev.” I leaned across the small distance between us to place an earnest kiss on her smiling lips. “Thank you.”
Tender kisses and I’m floating on air
“I know it’s too big to take with you anywhere, but I have the original picture if you want that, too.”
“You’re too good to me,” I professed, hopping up from the floor to head for the luggage cart. I retrieved her two small packages from my overnight bag and turned around, gleefully handing her my small token of appreciation for her presence in my life. “Merry Christmas.”
You can have me anytime anywhere
When you need me I will always be there
I found love
She smiled and opted to first take the small box I’d been holding, which had been expertly wrapped in light pink paper and trimmed in silver “ not by me of course. “Ooh, Tiffany’s,” she commented, with raised eyebrows as she uncovered the name. “This should be good.”
“I hope so.” I sat down with her so that I could get the up-close version of her reaction.
She let out a light guffaw and let her head fall back after gazing into the small box. “Did my mom tell you?”
“No, she did not,” I quickly defended. “I knew all on my own.”
“You did not.”
“Yes, I did, you asshole.”
“Justin, this is gorgeous.” She pulled out her new necklace “ a miniature pair of platinum ballerina slippers inlaid with pink and white diamonds “ and held it to the light. “How the hell did you know I was a ballerina?”
“I have my ways,” I shot back in playful arrogance. “Here’s the other half of that gift,” I added, handing her a pink and white envelope.
After tearing through the seal, she eyed the contents of her envelope, her bright eyes running over the words in apparent disbelief. “This is a joke, right?” she finally asked.
“Not at all,” I began to explain. “Your talented ass is teaching a class at The Royal Ballet the very day we arrive back in London.”
“Oh shit!” she yelled, dropping the envelope to practically leap from her crosslegged position and jump on top of me. “J, this is fucking awesome! I love you.” She began to fervently kiss me, essentially sucking the little air I had left after she knocked the wind out of me with her bound into my lap. “Seriously,” she whispered, suddenly pulling her tongue from my mouth.
“Seriously what?” I panted. I used that moment to take notice of just how blue her eyes became when she was happy. Staring into them was like being lost at sea, and hoping you never have to find your way out of that paradise.
Loving you is like a taste of Heaven
Wanna gaze into your eyes forever
Run away and spend our lives together
I found love
“Seriously, I love you,” she answered, scratching under her tame ponytail.
“I know you do,” I assured her with a breathy chuckle. “It’s“.”
“No,” she interrupted, “not that friendshippy shit we say to half the people we know. This is the relationship ‘I love you’ that I’ve never been able to say to anyone else. The ‘I love you’ that I never thought I’d be able to say to you, of all people,” she laughed, “because I was sure you’d hurt me before I let it get that far. But I love you.”
And our love goes round and round
Way up high, a joy ride
My grin immediately maturated into a full blown smile and it took everything in me not to spontaneously combust into tears. Of happiness, for once. “I love you, too, Devin.”
We got something they can’t touch
She cutely wrinkled her nose, planting a kiss on my forehead between my eyebrows with a giggle. “Cool.”
Yeah, this was definitely the right decision. “Yeah. Cool.”
We found love
Lyrics:
“Sunday Morning” - Maroon 5 (Songs About Jane)
“‘03 Bonnie & Clyde” - Jay-Z feat. Beyonce (Blueprint2: The Gift & The Curse)
“Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays” - *NSYNC (Home For Christmas)
“Focus” - Brandy (Afrodisiac)
“Under My Tree” - *NSYNC (Home For Christmas)
“Joy Ride” - Mariah Carey (The Emancipation of Mimi)
Story Tags: daddyj friendsturnedlovers interracial boyfriendj love angryj tourj
