17. It Hurts More Than It Shows
“It’s so gorgeous here,” I commented, my eyes circling the seaside atmosphere.
Cameron and I were seated in a private section of the Plumeria Beach House at our hotel, the Kahala Mandarin Oriental in Honolulu, waiting to be served the first of many portions of our extensive meal in the elaborate restaurant. I’d been there about four days already, and every time I noticed something else about my perfect surroundings, I couldn’t only commentate on how... gorgeous they were.
“You’ve said that like eight times today,” she grinned, raising a fork full of the restaurant’s trademark Mandarin Chicken Salad to my lips.
Gladly accepting, I chewed the salad, indulged in the sweet breeze and then leaned across the table to give her an appreciative kiss on the lips. “I love it here, though. I can’t thank you enough for inviting me.”
“Hey, dude, thanks for hangin’ out with me. This has been my best birthday ever.”
“Even with that fucked up nose of yours?” I teased.
“It’s not broken,” she defended with a laugh. “It’s just a bruise.”
“Right, right, right,” I laughed, leaning back in my seat. “Well, I’m glad your 31st has been special, in spite of your ‘bruised’ nose.” And surprisingly, I truly meant that.
Open up your eyes
This thing with me and Cameron “ whatever the hell it was turning into “ was very back and forth. When we’re alone, she’s the most intriguing person in the world to me. She makes life fun. She gives me the stupidest reasons to laugh, and I love that. I couldn’t have asked for a more perfect four days with anyone.
Like Devin, she was extremely carefree about life and didn’t let stupid shit faze her. But then, she had her moments “ bouts of unexplained melancholia, contrasted with completely unsought euphoria. She was an extreme personality, to say the least, but I think that’s what I dug about her. Maybe.
Don’t you know you only get one life?
“So, after my appointment with the chiropractor, what do you wanna do?”
“Well, I think I’ve swum enough for today,” I chuckled, tugging at the swimming trunks I was still wearing. “And um, I gotta meet my friend, Devin, at the airport at 3:00.”
“Cool, you can do that while I’m at the doctor’s,” she inserted.
“Whatever you want after that, then. Have you been to that restaurant, Tokyo Tokyo yet?”
“Yeah,” she nodded, downing some of her piña colada. “Me and the guys went the day before you got here.”
“Oh, well“.”
“But, I doubt if they’d mind going again. I didn’t get to try the sushi when we were there.”
“So, it’s a date?” I grinned.
“You, me and five of our closest friends.” She gathered another fork of chicken and salad and offered it to me. “Salad?”
Chewing and swallowing, I enthusiastically decided, “I could seriously live here forever.”
Look out your window
My sunshine’s all around
“Well hey, if you’re still hangin’ around me in a year, maybe we can split one of those little beach pads,” she suggested, pointing to an estate about a mile down Waikiki Beach. “That’d be fun, right?”
Uhh... “So, what have you heard about that Kahala burger?”
She laughed at my unsubtle need to switch subjects. “Okay, JT, ignore me. That’s totally fine.” Underneath our table, she kicked me with a flip-flop-covered foot, accentuated with one of her signature guffaws while her cyan eyes scanned the ocean view. “You’ll love me one day.”
All you have to do is just surrender
An hour and a half later, we arrived at Cameron’s chiropractor appointment, and me being the doting gentleman that I am, I gallantly rushed to the passenger side of the car to open the door for her. “Okay, Miss Diaz, can you walk, or what?”
“More like, ‘or what’,” she chuckled, struggling to make it out of the champagne-colored SUV. “You wanna gimme a lift, buddy?”
“No problem,” I smiled, thanks to my ridiculously good mood. I offered my hand to help her out of the car. “Stand up and then I’ll hoist you on my back.”
She grinned, shifting awkwardly out of the car. “Those damn surfboards are dangerous,” she commented, adjusting her open-legged purple pants on her slender waist. “You’re not gonna drop me, are you?”
“I’m not gonna drop you,” I assured her. I bent down in front of her so that she could lock her arms around my neck while I picked her up by the underside of her thighs. I turned my head slightly to ask, “You comfortable?”
“I’m good.”
“You know, you’re a lot heavier than you look,” I joked, waiting to cross the street towards the doctor’s office.
“I’m stronger than I look, too,” she laughed, lightly smacking me on the forehead with her open hand.
“Oh, I’ll have to keep that in mind,” I chuckled back. “Hey, how are you gettin’ back to the hotel?”
“I’on know,” she answered, picking up her signature blaccent that was rather annoying, but I dumbly managed to find it endearing. Sometimes. “I guess I’ll have to use my skills to pimp a ride home.”
“Seriously,” I began, laughing heartily at her goofiness, “I bet you’d get there, too.”
“Oh, please believe it.”
“You’re funny,” I sighed, walking into the serenity of the chiropractor’s office. I let her ease off of my back and onto the floor so that she could check in while I waited silently behind.
“So hey, I’ll see you later?” she asked, flipping her short blond tresses into some form of a ponytail. “We’re all gonna do dinner, right?”
Distractedly, I nodded back while staring down at the floor, watching her bare feet walk towards me. “You sure you don’t want me to pick you up?”
“I thought you said your friend was coming in today.”
“Yeah, she is. I actually have to go pick her up now,” I realized.
“Then hang out with her, dude,” she gave me a dismissive wave off. “I’ll get someone over here.”
“Or, I can come get you,” I smiled.
She couldn’t do anything but grin back at me. I gave her a quick peck on the lips and headed to the door before she finally answered, “Or, you can come get me.”
Oh, you drive me crazy
Oh, you just bring me down
Look out your window
My sunshine’s all around
All you have to do is just surrender
My drive to the airport was relatively quiet since I didn’t bother to pop in a CD as I usually do; for some reason, I had my own song in my head. I didn’t know whether it was just the atmosphere and being quite literally in paradise, or if life had taken a totally new turn for me, but I was feeling good again.
So she said ‘What’s the problem baby?’
I didn’t have the chaos of touring or the drama of falling for two women, no one to answer to but myself. Slowly, but surely, Cameron was pushing her way into my heart, which was okay, because she didn’t just barge in there and fuck me up like most women had done in the past. I could just kinda do me and she came along for the ride when I let her. It was certainly a new feeling, but one I could get used to, if I let myself.
What’s the problem? I don’t know
I was proud of myself for arriving at the airport at exactly 3:00PM. I was hoping Devin would be proud of me, too, after she begged me not to be late picking her up. After getting all the necessary clearance, it was more like 3:05 when I arrived on the tarmac, but she’d get over it.
Just like the typical airport scene, I turned off the car and stood outside of it, leaning against the hood like some ghetto version of a chauffeur awaiting his client. From what I could tell, her small commercial jet had just hit the runway, so I spent the few minutes it would take to open the doors to anticipate the next few days. For whatever stupid reason, I was just fucking elated about getting to see her.
Well, maybe I’m in love
Think about it every time I think about it
Can’t stop thinkin’ ‘bout it
I noticed immediately when Devin came into view, marveling at the paradisaical ambience she’d stepped into, just as I’d been doing all week. As she walked down the plane’s short stairway, she seemed to have this jubilant glow surrounding her, smiling brightly when greeted with a blue and lavender lei once her feet touched the ground. The matching blue peasant skirt she wore seemed to dance around her long legs as she happily strolled towards me with a knapsack bouncing over her back.
“Hey!” she greeted at five feet from me, grinning like a kid on Christmas morning.
How much longer will it take to cure this?
Just to cure it, ‘cause I can’t ignore it if it’s love
“Hey, yourself,” I replied, moving in for a hug. She enveloped my waist while I wrapped my arms around her neck and inhaled the scent of her blonde-highlighted hair, smiling at the reverie of her soft skin against mine, becoming completely engrossed in her presence. “You have a good flight?” I asked, beginning to rub her back as I pulled away.
“Awesome,” she answered enthusiastically, “yes.”
I opened the passenger door for her while looking for anyone to head towards us with her luggage. “Where are your bags?”
She pointed to where tons of men dressed in khakis and polo shirts were unloading the plane’s cargo onto awaiting carts. “It’s the only lime green bag over there,” she informed me.
“You only have one bag?”
“I’m a light packer,” she shrugged with a smile.
“That’s a first.” Still happy, still smiling, I moved towards the cart to pick up her bag, thankful that I wouldn’t have to lug a host of bags to the car like I had when we went shopping on our tour stop in Chicago and Cameron managed to charge the whole damn Diesel store. “Damn,” I began, throwing her heavy ass bag into the back of our Range Rover. “What the hell you got in there?”
“It’s not that heavy,” she argued, watching me take the driver’s seat.
“Yeah, ‘light packer’ my ass.”
She shoved me and then focused on the view in front of her with a chuckle. “Shut yo’ ass up.”
“So, what have you been up to since I last saw you?”
“Well, in the four torturous days that we’ve been apart,” she sarcastically began, “I... went home, spent a day with my brother and my dad, spent the next day with my mom, and then I spent yesterday packing and gettin’ ready to come here.”
“How’s Memphis?”
“Shit, still hot, still boring as hell,” she laughed. “How ‘bout you? How’s Hawaii?”
“As you can see, it’s amazing.” I glanced at her, noticing her nervous fidget with the hemline of her white halter top. “You okay?”
“I’m great,” she grinned, looking up at me. “Just still a little nervous, I guess.”
“I’m really gonna need you to get over that, Dev. I’m not gonna bite.”
“No, it’s not just you.” Finally putting her seatbelt in place, she offered a big sigh and leaned into her headrest, letting her huge mass of curls fall over her face. “So, what should I know about Cameron before I meet her?”
“You’ve met Cameron. Haven’t you?”
She shook her head and turned on the radio without asking. “I’ve passed her a few times on the tour, but Christina said she was a bitch, so I thought I should stay away from her.”
“She’s not a bitch,” I shot back defensively. “She just... she keeps her guard up when it’s necessary.”
“Well hey, I know what that’s all about,” she laughed, turning the radio back off schizophrenically.
“Yeah... she’s cool.”
Makes me wanna turn around and face me
But I don’t know nothin’ ‘bout love
“So hey, what time did you say dinner was?” Devin had used the last hour to get unpacked and settled in the new villa we’d just rented and she’d just walked into the living room to find me seated comfortably on one of the two couches, flipping through brochures.
“Whenever we gather up all Cameron’s friends after I pick her up from the chiropractor,” I shrugged. “Why? You hungry?”
“Starving,” she exaggerated, rubbing her flat stomach as she walked towards me. “But I wanted to go swimming first. You up for it?” She sat down beside me, nudging me with her knee.
It wasn’t until then that I noticed a cerulean bikini top underneath her halter. “No more swimming,” I whined, resting my cheek on her bare shoulder.
“But you got on your swimming trunks and everything.”
“That’s from when me and Cam went surfing this morning. I just haven’t changed yet.”
“Oh...”
“Plus, I need to stay dry in case she calls me to come get her,” I added.
“It’s cool,” she nodded. “I guess I can take a dip alone.”
“Have you seen the pool yet? It’s like this crazy ass cave shit like at the Playboy mansion.”
“Then that should be extra fun all by myself,” she mumbled sarcastically. She picked herself up from the couch and walked towards the large, open kitchen that sat across from the living room. “Anything to eat in this joint?”
“No, we literally just got this place like this morning. And as you can see, we haven’t moved all the way in yet.”
“So... I guess I’ll just have to starve ‘til dinner.”
“No,” I chuckled, “when I go to get Cameron, I can drop you off at the supermarket and then we’ll swing back by and pick you up on the way in.”
“Sounds like a plan.” She shot a fake grin across the room before disappearing into the obscurity large house.
“Devin,” I softly called after her, rising from the couch to follow her.
She stopped in the hallway that lead to the staircase and turned impatiently, presumably waiting for more of my empty words. “What else? Have you thought of another way to leav“.”
I erupted into her attitude-filled sentence to infiltrate her mouth with my tongue. I knew I’d been acting weird, but I wanted her to know that I couldn’t be happier to see her. I just felt...trapped in my emotions when it came to her sometimes. And while I was desperately working to find my way out, there were those times when I just couldn’t act right. Obviously, my kiss couldn’t say all of that, but I hope it gave her a little glimmer of hope and told her to just not give up on me yet.
Come on, come on, turn a little faster
Come on, come on, the world will follow after
Come on, come on, ‘cause everybody’s after love
Dinner at Tokyo Tokyo had gone ridiculously well. I don’t know what random ass twist of fate made Cameron and Devin get along so damn well, ‘cause I was really expecting a catastrophe when they came together, but the two of them were like long lost friends over the course of dinner. In fact, the six of us “ me, Devin and Cameron, as well as Cam’s friends, Mike, Jeremy, and her older sister, Chimene, had managed to make it an awesome night. I thought so, anyway.
Picking at my plate of sake bombs and wrapping her free arm around my waist, Cameron enthusiastically announced to the table, “Okay, I have another story.” We’d gone around the table telling our most embarrassing stories and she was up to bat. Again. “This was from a couple of weeks ago during the blackout,” she started. “You remember that, Justin?”
“I remember,” I laughed, recalling that day extremely well.
“So we were in... we were in New York, right?”
“Y’all were in Philly,” Devin chimed in. “I remember, ‘cause J called to tease me about bein’ stuck in New York.”
“That’s right, we were at the hotel in Philly. And I thought since the power had gone out, that the computer hadn’t been recharged. Boy was I wrong!”
“This woman,” I inserted, leaning in towards the rest of the table, “has the laptop on, the webcam all hooked up and the whole nine. I mean, we would’ve had a damn Paris Hilton situation if her mom hadn’t called.”
“Shut up,” she laughed loudly. “I would’ve figured it out!”
“How’d your mom find out?” Mike asked, laughing.
“Well, fortunately she saw me beginning to get undressed in front of the camera so she must’ve figured out how clueless I was,” she explained. “But you have to admit that would’ve been funny.”
“The last thing I need is a sex tape goin’ around the world,” I evenly replied. “Unless, of course, it’s with this one,” I winked at Devin.
Cameron then removed herself from our friendly embrace while Devin cleared her throat loudly. “I’m sure you’d love that.”
“The things we do really should be documented,” I joked to her, taking a sip from my glass of Pellegrino. Her rigid expression told me to take it back quickly, so I made it a point to add, “I’m just kidding, Dev.”
“So,” she sighed, “anyone else got a story to tell?”
Cameron averted her attention to Dev’s voice with a grin to go with it. “What about you, Miss Devin? Everyone else has told gobs of stories, but we’ve only gotten one from you.”
“I guess I just don’t embarrass easily,” she shrugged. “I have no more to tell.”
“Seriously?”
“That’s all I got,” she chuckled.
“You’re full of shit,” I interjected teasingly. “You gotta have more than that.”
“Well...”
“There is,” Chimene exclaimed. “Come on, spill it, Devin!”
“It’s not really embarrassing “ just pretty damn frustrating,” she began. “The embarrassing part is that I told this guy, a really good friend of mine, that I was starting to like him, and I stupidly believed him when he said he felt the same way. But then, the fucked up part, which I guess is also embarrassing, is that when I flew my ass all the way to Hawaii to come see him, he suddenly decided that he wanted to fall in love with someone else. Funny right?” She quickly rose from the table, grabbing her white purse from her chair, requesting, “Y’all, it’s been great, but I’m tired; so if you’ll excuse me...”
“Of course,” Cameron understood. “We’ll see you back at the house.”
“Yeah,” I added in confusion.
“It was great to meet y’all.” With a heavy sigh, as the rest of our table bid her adieu, she disappeared from the lively restaurant in a puff of that pink scent I was talking about, leaving me in utter confusion, as usual.
“She’s a moody one,” I chuckled in hopes of helping to clear the tense air.
“Maybe you should go after her?” Cameron suggested, running her finger over my hand that rested on the table’s cloth.
“No, she’s gonna need a little time,” I denied. “Besides, everybody’s night shouldn’t be ruined, right?”
“Are you sure?”
“If I know Devin, she’ll be just fine by the time we get back. She just needs her time to cool off, you know?”
I wasn’t sure what had just happened, but I knew I couldn’t tackle it until I figured out something. And at that point, all I knew was that Devin’s little spiel was a direct dig at me, but to what extent was she angry? How did I let it come to that so suddenly? And did she just imply that I was falling for Cameron?
So I said I’m a snowball running
Running down into the spring that’s coming
All this love melting under blue skies
Belting out sunlight, shimmering love
The next day, after seeing that Devin had essentially shut out the world for the entire night, Cameron and I decided to hit the beach early to avoid the influx of paparazzi that had found their way to Hawaii within the week she’d been there. Cameron had been instructed not to surf with her bad back and ‘bruised’ nose, but she always made it a point to stand ashore and coach me from the sidelines.
“Well damn,” she commented as we walked down the beach with my arm snaked around her slender waist. “Looks like everyone’s an early bird.”
“No kidding.” It hadn’t even hit 8:00AM yet and the beach was insanely crowded. “Maybe everyone is on L.A. time,” I chuckled, hoisting my lime green and azure surfboard further underneath my arm.
“Are you sure you wanna go out there, buddy?”
“Yeah, why not?”
“This is how they got me,” she laughed, pointing to her bandaged nose. “I wiped out and got hit by some other dude’s board.”
“I think I’ll be okay. Maybe it’ll be less crowded if we walk further down?” With a nod, the two of us continued our promenade through the sand, ignoring those that recognized us while simultaneously keeping our eyes peeled for those stalkers that some people call photographers. Without thinking, I turned down the brim of Cameron’s floppy white hat to shield her from any such people.
“What was that for?” she smiled at me.
I grinned back down at her, bringing my arm from her waist to sling it over her shoulder. “Just for a little extra protection.”
“Okay, let me check you out,” Cameron paused me once we found a good spot for me to ride the waves. “Got your board waxed up?”
“Check,” I smiled.
“Your leash is securely attached to your ankle?”
“Check.”
“Got your wetsuit, your whistle... I think you’re ready to go, kid.”
“I think I am, too.” With a quick peck to the side of her mouth, I headed into the water. I can’t even explain how thankful I am to Cameron for teaching me how to surf. There’s nothing more liberating than being at one with a big ass wave. I didn’t know what I was missing all these years, but I’m damn sure glad she helped me find it.
Oh baby, I surrender to the strawberry ice cream
Never ever render all this love
After making sure to get some water on the waxed deck of my board, I laid myself comfortably on top of it and began to paddle out, cordially smiling as I passed other surfers. It’s pitiful, but my arms were already starting to get tired before I even made it to my halfway point, but most importantly, I was able to shoot over the oncoming waves, so I figured I was okay.
Unfortunately, I saw that the one part I hated about surfing was soon becoming a necessity as I was approaching bigger waves, having paddled out further. Using the momentum I’d gained from paddling, I grabbed the nose of my board with both hands and pushed it directly into the oncoming wave while bending one knee and stretching out the other leg. If it sounds difficult, that’s because it is. But amazingly, I made it through that wave and then three more before I made it to the point where the waves were breaking.
When I thought I spotted a good wave, I began to peddle hard and pushed on the middle of the surfboard, swinging my feet underneath me so that I could pop up. Now usually, when I tried this, there was a good chance that my ass would end up underneath the board as opposed to standing on top of it. But I guess today was my lucky day, ‘cause I was up there. And I smiled as I saw Cameron waving at me from the beach.
Well I didn’t mean to do it but there’s no escaping your love
Riding that wave gave me this amazing rush of sudden euphoria as I realized this would probably be the closest I’d ever come to flying without an actual flying apparatus. It was an extremely emancipating thought, but also an extremely distracting one, because before I knew it, that flight crashed and I went tumbling into the wave. Yeah, total wipeout. And ouch.
These lines of lightning mean we’re never alone, never alone
“Oh, my God,” Devin exclaimed, opening the house door to see me crouched over a very fatigued Cameron. “What happened?”
“He wiped out and crashed into some chick on the beach,” she explained, helping me into the house.
“Where the hell have you been?” I asked Devin. “We’ve been ringing the doorbell for like ten minutes.”
“I was in the shower,” she demurred, flipping her wet curls out of her face. “Is anything broken?”
“No, he’s okay,” Cameron decided for me. “He probably just sprained his back.”
Devin finally motioned to help Cameron move me towards the couch of the living room, both of them struggling with my weight on their shoulders. “It hurts like hell, though,” I added, unwilling to let either of them downplay my injury.
“Can you move on your own?” Devin asked, easing my arm from her shoulder so that I could gently fall to the seat. “You need some extra pillows?”
“He’s fine,” Cameron repeated for the fifth time since the incident. “We don’t have to baby him.”
“If you could just bring me a pillow from my bed,” I requested, ignoring Cameron. I watched Devin concur and disappear to the back of the house and glared up at the remaining company. “It hurts more than it looks,” I told her.
She just sighed and playfully rolled her ice blue eyes to the ceiling. “JT, you’re gonna be just fine.”
“Maybe so, but you don’t have to act like I sprained my pinky or some shit.”
“You’re right,” she smiled. “People take pain in different ways.”
“Start sitting up,” Devin instructed, walking back into the room with an armful of pillows and a blanket. “We’re gonna try to get you as comfortable as possible.” With a soothing smile, she handed Cameron the blanket and threw three of the four pillows to the end of the couch. She helped me to sit up straight and positioned the biggest one on the sofa’s armrest behind me. “Is that okay?”
As I eased back into the softness, I smiled in satisfaction and gave her a nod while watching her situate the other pillows underneath my feet and along the foot of the seat. She then retrieved the blanket from Cameron to drape it over the back of the sofa. “Thanks.”
“No problem,” she grinned, handing me the room’s remote that controlled lighting, air conditioning, television and stereo. “We just want you to be okay,” she added, speaking for her and Cameron.
“That’s right,” Cameron inserted. “Is there anything I can get for you?”
“I think I’ve got everything.”
“You sure? You’re not hungry?”
“Yeah, did you eat any breakfast yet?” Devin questioned. “I can make us some crepes or at least a fruit salad?”
“That sounds“.”
“Or,” Cameron interrupted me, “I can head over to the hotel and order that pineapple tart we had the other morning.”
I looked up at her scarily happy smile and then over to Devin who was also grinning, but in a much less psychotic manner. “Yeah, let’s do that,” I told Cameron, nodding. “Just make sure you get three.”
“I know that,” she goofily shot back, heading upstairs to her bedroom.
“Hey,” I said to Devin, watching her despondently trudge across the room to sit in one of the massage chairs against the living room wall. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” she answered quietly.
We sat in silence until Cameron came bouncing back down the steps, having covered her black bikini with a white tank top and a pair of Bermuda shorts. “I’ll be back as soon as I can,” she announced, searching her large light blue purse. “You guys want anything else?”
“That’s all,” I answered.
“Devin?”
She quickly shook her head, as she let out the seat’s footrest. “I’m fine.”
“Kay, I’ll see you guys later,” she waved in her usual bubbly manner. “Stay out of trouble.”
I kept my smile until she disappeared from the house and I was able to let out a huge sigh of relief. “I didn’t think she’d ever fuckin’ leave,” I chuckled.
Devin gave me a bored glance and sarcastically replied, “I can’t imagine you’re tired of your new girlfriend already.”
“You know she’s not my girlfriend.”
“Do I? Hmm, I wasn’t aware.”
“Devin“.”
“Don’t even bother explaining,” she shot back. “You told me before I even got here that this was her trip, her birthday “ it all makes sense.”
“She loved the gift you gave her, by the way.”
She shrugged and gave me half a smile. “I don’t really know her, so I did my best.”
“It was very thoughtful.”
“I’m not as heartless as I look.”
“Why do you do that?” I asked, turning my head to look her in the eye.
“Why do I do what?” she spat.
“Why do you portray yourself in such a bad light?”
“I know what people think of me.”
“No one has that image of you but you, sweetheart.” When she opened her mouth to protest, I quickly added, “Sorry.”
“Listen, since it appears you and Cameron have everything under control, I think I’m gonna take the day to explore the shopping scene.”
“Wait,” I requested, watching her hop up from her chair. “You’re leaving?”
“Not Hawaii. Just the house.”
“But“.”
“I should give you and Cameron your time alone or whatever.”
“But I wanted alone time with you,” I objected, trying to move off of the couch. “Why are you leaving?”
“Stop tryin’ to move,” she instructed, quickly making a beeline for my side. “Are you all right?”
“I’m fine. I just don’t want you to go.”
“Baby, you had your opportunity to hang out with me yesterday and you rolled with your girl,” she explained, violently readjusting all of my pillows.
“Ouch, girl. What the hell are you doin’?”
“I’m making you comfortable,” she managed to get out with gritted teeth. “Hey, does that chiropractor Cameron was seeing do house calls?”
“I dunno,” I tried shrug before realizing that my back wouldn’t let that happen. “Can’t you just stay here and take care of me?” I would’ve done my pout, but she was becoming an expert at ignoring it.
“Dude, you’re the one that decided to take her up on her pineapple tart offer when I would’ve made you a whole home-cooked meal if you wanted it.” She began to throw the blanket over my legs before realizing that I still had on my wet swimming trunks. “You’ve been sitting here wet all this time?”
“Duh, we came back from the beach.”
“Shut up,” she smiled, hitting my knee. “You tryin’ to catch a cold, too, or what?”
“Well shit, I can’t exactly move to change them, can I?”
“Stupid, you can’t sit in an air-conditioned house with wet clothes!”
“They’ll dry,” I yelled back.
“Justin, you’re gonna get sick.”
“Then why don’t you turn off the air conditioner?” I asked obviously. “Problem solved.”
“Yeah, except it’s 9:00 in the morning and it’s already eighty freakin’ degrees.” She stood over me with her hand perched on her hip, waiting for me to say something.
Innocently, I continued to stare up at her. “What?”
“Take them off,” she demanded.
“Devin, as much as I’d love to, I really can’t have sex with you right now. My back is just“.”
“Keep it up,” she smiled, smacking the side of my head. “Check this out,” she began to explain, “here’s what I’m gonna do“.”
“What are you gonna do, baby?”
She gave me one of those looks that told me to shut the hell up and continued. “I’m gonna move you to your bedroom, okay?”
“Why?”
“‘Cause no one wants your handicapped ass all up in the living room taking up space.”
“That’s cold, girl.”
“So come on, so you can get outta those wet things.” She gently swung my legs off of the couch so that they were planted firmly on the cold, wood floor before sitting down beside me to help me up. “Come on, man.”
“The way you were acting last night at dinner, I thought you were mad at us,” I said, gazing at the side of her.
“Oh, I was mad at you.” She quickly gathered her mass of hair to create a sloppy ponytail and pulled up the bottom of her long white skirt so as not to get it caught when we stood up. “That doesn’t mean I won’t take care of yo’ punk ass.” She smiled warmly and pulled my arm over her shoulder. “Now come on, let’s go, homeboy.”
Come on, come on, move a little closer
Come on, come on, wanna hear you whisper
Come on, come on, settle down inside my love
“Okay, okay, you ready?” I asked.
“Come on.”
Getting our stacks of cards neatly situated in front of us, we simultaneously began to announce, “I. De. Clare. War!”
“Shit,” Devin laughed, seeing that both of our cards were Jacks. “Okay, again.”
“And don’t cheat this time.”
“I didn’t cheat the last time!” she cackled loudly, flicking sprinkles of water at me from the champagne glass that sat on the food tray beside my bed.
“Yes. You did.”
“How do you cheat at this dumb ass game?”
“I don’t know,” I replied with raised eyebrows, “but you did.”
“You just get your shit together. Don’t worry ‘bout me.”
Repeating our same actions, we went off to battle again. “I. De. Clare. War!”
“Cheater,” I pouted when she pulled out a King to my stupid Seven. “I’m sick of this game.”
“Oh yeah, now that your ass is losing.” Shuffling through her pile of cards, she stuck her tongue out at me and got up from the bed. “You hungry or anything?”
“Girl, you’ve been feedin’ the hell out of me all day,” I sighed, trying to get comfortable against my pillows again. “I couldn’t eat another bite... for at least half an hour,” I smiled.
Oh yeah, so Cameron called about half an hour after she left the house this morning and said that she decided to hang out with her sister instead, while I was in recovery mode. So thankfully, that left me and Devin to do our thing for the day and we’d spent the past ten hours getting along awesomely, I must say. Not to mention, no one besides my mama has ever taken care of me like this before.
Come on, come on, jump a little higher
Come on, come on, if you feel a little lighter
Come on, come on, we were once upon a time in love
“Well okay, what are you gonna want for dinner then?”
“I wish you would sit down,” I said, signaling with my hand for her to come over to me. As she got closer, I grabbed her arm and pulled her to the bed to sit next to me. “You’ve been doin’ stuff for me all day. Just sit down.”
“But you’re all bedridden and shit. I can’t just let you sit here and starve.”
“But“.”
“Plus, I gotta eat, too,” she chuckled, trying to get back up. “You think maybe Cameron’ll be back soon? Should I cook for her and Chimene, too?”
“Devin. Sit down,” I demanded. “Lemme make this easy on everybody.” I shifted as best I could trying to reach my nightstand and grabbed the telephone. “What do you like on your pizza?”
She gave me a defeated smile, sitting back down and stretching out across my legs as I searched for the hotel’s phone number. “Whatever you want, I guess.”
It wasn’t until then that I realized that she didn’t just want me, but she genuinely cared about me. I think that was something I failed to recognize about a lot of the women I’d come across. But just going back and thinking about everything she’d done to keep me content that day, I came to the realization that we were onto something more than just a few mutual feelings.
We’re accidentally in love
After a romantic pizza for two in my room, I limped to the kitchen to help Devin wash the all-day dishes that had piled up in the sink. I hated washing dishes with a passion “ ever since my granny started making me do it, but it was the very least I could do for her after she rescued me today. Now didn’t I say, way back in Chapter 4, she was always amazingly there for me when least expected but most needed? Yeah, still true.
Accidentally in love
“Justin, what the hell are you doing!” She stopped in her dishwashing tracks to walk over to me, trying to enter the kitchen. “I told your stupid ass to stay in bed.”
“It’s boring in there,” I whined. “Lemme help.”
“Help what?”
“You. And why aren’t you just putting the plates and shit in the dishwasher?”
“I don’t trust dishwashers. I’d rather just do it myself,” she explained, sitting me at the kitchen table. “You feel like drying?”
“Sure,” I shrugged with a smile.
The entire process was a silent ordeal, seeing how the running water drowned out anything either one of us tried to say, but it was a pleasant silence, although one that I wasn’t used to when being around Devin. Being able to sit behind her and study her whole form as she stood at the sink gave me a glimpse into the many layers that I didn’t know she had.
Accidentally in love
I had been reveling in the quiet of the room, drying the crapload of plates I didn’t even know we’d used until the house’s buzzer resounded. “You wanna get that, or should I?” I joked to Devin, receiving no answer. “Devin.” Still nothing. “Dev,” I said a little louder. I’d never seen anyone so wrapped up in cleaning before.
I figured if I limped my way to the kitchen, I could make it those few extra yards to the front door. Slowly, I rose from my seat, using the table as leverage to stand upright. A few more buzzes and I started yelling at the door. “I’m coming, goddamn it!”
That must’ve finally gotten Devin’s attention, because she suddenly turned to see me walking again, much to her chagrin. “Justin, sit down!”
“Lemme just get the door,” I contested.
“For what?”
“Someone’s at it,” I stated obviously. As I noticed her quick parade towards the door, I made the best beeline I could to beat her. “I can do it,” I smiled when I reached the door first. I was in pain, but I won, nonetheless.
“You’re gonna kill yourself,” she grinned back, heading back within the kitchen confines to turn off the water.
Unlocking the few locks on the door, I swung it open to find Cameron smiling back at me with two bags of groceries in each of her hands. “Hey,” I saluted her.
“Look who’s answering the door,” she noticed proudly.
“Look who’s at the door,” I countered dryly. “Where’s your key?”
“I’m not sure,” she laughed, walking into the house. “I must’ve left it here, dude, ‘cause I looked for it everywhere.”
“Figures,” I mumbled.
“What?”
“Umm... what’d you buy?”
“Just some frozen pizzas and stuff you can just pop in the microwave,” she answered, dropping her bags to the floor. “How’s your back?”
“It hurts.”
“Aww,” she cooed, “you want a massage?”
“No, I’m“.”
“Where’s Devin? I can’t believe she would leave you here alone all day,” she chuckled, turning to help me back through the house. “Some friend she is, huh?”
“I haven’t gone anywhere,” Devin interrupted, entering the cross-section of the living room and kitchen with us. “It’s you that’s been gone all day.”
“Oh, hi! I thought since he answered the door...”
“No, it’s fine,” she calmly inserted. “J, I’m gonna head up to my room, okay?”
“Devin“.”
“Good night, y’all.”
I swear, sometimes I wanted to strangle Devin for becoming so suddenly submissive when Cameron walked into the room. “Devin, could you wait a second?”
“I said good night,” she shot back, heading up the staircase.
I motioned to go after her but Cameron stopped me with her slender arm against my stomach. “Justin, you can’t walk up those steps.”
“I can try.”
“She’s upset, dude. You said yourself that she needs her time to cool off.”
“I“.”
“Let me help you to your room,” she countered.
“If you wanna help me, take me upstairs.” Her face told me that she wanted to continue to fight me, that she’d rather me go hole myself up in my room as opposed to make amends with my friend, but she gave me her best version of a smile and walked with me to Devin before scurrying into her adjacent bedroom. “Devin,” I asked, knocking on the door. I could hear the volume of the television rising as I spoke. “Can you open up. Please?”
“Dude, I said good night.”
I figured the door was locked, but I turned the handle anyway, surprised to watch it grant me access to her mini-paradise where she was curled up in a corner of her neatly-made bed. “What’s wrong with you?”
“Nothing,” she denied, sitting up on her bed.
I loved how bright she seemed to shine in her all white outfit. Though, it did remind me of Michaela a bit. Closing the door, I shifted to lean uncomfortably against the wall. “You act weird with her.”
“You act weird with her,” she spat. “I’d rather just not be around the two of y’all together.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I wonder,” she sarcastically chuckled, “is it all an act? Or are you really that blind?”
“What?”
“Right now, I think I feel exactly the same way that Michaela felt about you and me. Like, the emotions are all there, and I know that there’s some part of you that wants me. But around her, it’s like it all just fades into the background and she’s all you can focus on.” She finally muted the TV and looked back at me. “I mean, do you do this with all women? When you’re with Cameron, are you preoccupied with Mikey or somethin’?”
“I dunno how to answer that.”
“And see, that’s what I mean “ that’s what scares me. I don’t even think you get it.”
I nervously began to scratch at the stubble that had gathered on my face, searching for the answer she was looking for. “Is that what makes you turn all shy and quiet around her?”
“No, what makes me quiet is the fact that watching the two of you pisses me the fuck off and I don’t wanna say anything that I’m gonna regret. So I shut up.”
“That doesn’t sound like you.”
“Yeah well, some people just bring out certain things in you.”
“That’s bullshit.”
“You’d rather me be the loud, out-of-control Devin that you’re used to?”
“Well yeah,” I answered matter-of-factually. “It’s what I love about you.”
Humbly looking down, she quietly replied, “There’s a lot more to me than that.”
“I know.”
“I was gonna go sit on the beach,” she said, standing up to fix her tank top. “You think you can make it?”
Come on, come on, spin a little tighter
Come on, come on, and the world’s a little brighter
Come on, come on, just get yourself inside her love
“Not without you,” I smiled.
I’m in love
“Where are you guys going?” Cameron asked, coming out of her room to see Devin and I struggling down the hall together.
“Downstairs,” Devin told her simply.
“Let me help then,” she offered, taking hold of my other shoulder.
“Cameron, all three of us can’t make it down that narrow staircase.”
“Well then I should probably just take him down since my hips aren’t so wide. We’d get down easier.”
“Yeah, probably so,” Devin demurred.
I gave her a look of disappointment, but continued to lean on Cameron as she helped me down. “I gotta get to a doctor tomorrow,” I commented, feeling the pain in my back tightening.
“I’ll take you first thing in the morning,” Cameron suggested. “You’ll be better in no time.”
“You’re too good to me,” I smiled to humor her.
Once we made it to the bottom of the steps, Devin brushed past the two of us to fumble around in the kitchen with only God knows what. “Is she gonna be all right?” Cameron asked me as if I were supposed to know.
“Yeah, she’s fine,” I decided, pulling out of her embrace. “Could you get my flip-flops out of my room?”
“Sure,” she obliged.
Once she bounced away, I found Devin filling a small cooler with random items from the refrigerator. “You okay?”
She turned from her task and smiled at me. “I’m great.”
“Oh.”
“You want anything specifically to take out to the beach?”
Cameron reappeared in the room with my black Eddie Bauer flip-flops in hand. “Y’all are going to the beach?”
“Yeah.”
“Just to sit,” I furthered, taking the shoes from her. “Thanks.”
“Are you guys sure that’s a good idea?” she queried with worry.
“If we weren’t, we wouldn’t go,” Devin sighed in exasperation. “Please, just leave him alone for a few minutes.”
“I left you guys alone all day. Why can’t I ask a few questions?”
“Because you’re always asking questions. Just shut up!”
I smiled to myself, seeing Devin slowly reverting back to her old crazy self. “Dev, you got some beers in there?”
“I got you, baby.”
“Justin, you can’t possibly be letting her talk to me like this,” Cameron inserted incredulously. “By the way, I totally knew your being nice to me was just as fake as your boobs.”
Devin then slammed the refrigerator door shut and looked at us with piercing blue eyes, scarily similar to Cameron’s. “Justin, you better get her outta here.”
“Okay, okay,” I announced, attempting to be the mediator. “I really can’t break up a fight tonight, so let’s not go there.”
Ignoring my plea, Cameron walked closer to where Devin stood with her hands on her hips. “I’m not scared of you, Devin.”
“Ladies, let’s just“.”
Devin continued to stare Cameron down, beginning to lick her teeth. “Shut up, Justin.”
What the hell went wrong? They were just fine yesterday. I think. “Cameron, can you come back over here, please.”
“Not now, dude.”
“Devin, can we just go to the beach?”
She looked over at my crouched form, trying to put on my shoes and her face immediately softened. “This is retarded,” she agreed. “Cameron, you win.”
“Just like that?” she asked in disbelief.
“You’re not worth it.” As Cameron continued to approach her, Devin very suddenly reopened the refrigerator door to finish what she’d been doing. But just a moment too soon...
“Ouch!” Cameron cried out, backing away from the door that had just hit her in the face. “Oh, my God!”
Frowning in confusion, Devin reclosed the door to examine Cameron’s commotion and found her holding her face in pain. “What happened?” Devin yelled in panic while I did my best to also rush to Cameron’s side.
“You hit me!”
“What?”
“With the door! You hit me with the fucking door,” Cameron yelled nasally. “Oh, my God, I think my nose is broken.”
“Wasn’t it already broken?” Devin continued to shout.
“No, you bitch!” She squeezed the hand that Devin had offered her, hissing in anguish. “Justin, help me.”
Ignoring the immense pain I was in, I allowed Cameron to lean back into me as she breathed heavily through her mouth and tried to nurse her newest injury. “Okay, sweetheart, you’re gonna be okay,” I encouraged. “Calm down.”
“I’m calm.” She nodded slowly and rested her head on my shoulder as I walked her to the kitchen table.
“Is it gonna start bleeding?”
“No, I just need some ice.”
“Devin?” I asked.
She immediately went for the freezer, but stopped when Cameron interjected, “I don’t want it from her. Justin, please get me some ice.”
“Cameron...”
“Please. I think she’s done enough. In fact,” she added, “can she just leave?”
“Fuck you,” Devin jumped back. “I paid just as much for this house as you did.”
“I find that hard to believe.”
“Could y’all shut up,” I requested.
“Believe it,” Devin continued. “And unlike you, I worked for the money I have in the bank.”
“What! I worked, too.”
“Oh yeah, you surfed and laughed your way through your last movie. That must’ve been so hard for you.”
“Seriously, shut up,” I repeated.
“This was my trip that you barged in on, asshole.” Cameron continued to hold her nose but smiled graciously when I handed her a bag of ice. “Thank you, Justin.”
“Just shut up.”
“Yes, please shut up,” Devin just had to add.
“Devin,” I said slowly, turning around to look at her annoyed expression. “Maybe you should go do that beach thing alone.”
If that’s the way you want it, well there you go
Baby you can have it all, now that you just let me go
“Yeah, I should go.” She looked at me for a minute, studying as I adamantly helped Cameron, and shook her head at me. She sighed and wiped at the tip of her nose, seemingly looking for something to reply with. After seconds of tense silence, she told me, “You never fail, man.”
“I never fail what?” I chuckled, nervous and baffled.
“To disappoint.”
Oh, you drive me crazy
Oh, you just bring me down
Look out your window, my sunshine’s all around
All you have to do is just surrender
Lyrics:
“Surrender” - Ashlee Simpson (Autobiography)
“Accidentally In Love” - Counting Crows (Shrek 2 Soundtrack)
Story Tags: daddyj friendsturnedlovers interracial boyfriendj love angryj tourj
