The month of February pretty much flew by (Thank God) “ mainly because of the fact that I’d been working my ass off all month, pimping my nonexistent playboy persona. But hey, new video means new attitude. And as depressing as it sounded, my new attitude was that of a depressive. Devin once told me that without true love, we kind of just exist. At that the time of that drunken pearl of wisdom, I thought the girl was full of shit. But now, I’m starting to see what she meant. What’s life without love? Nothing. And I was just... existing at this point.
It was a sunny Thursday at the beginning of March and I’d been dancing my ass off, rehearsing for the Soul Train Awards when an unexpected visitor stopped by the dance studio to put a smile on my face. Michaela Woods, angelically dressed in a pair of white cargo pants, halter and white Pumas glided across the room with her animated smile, headed straight in my direction.
“What are you doing here?” I asked over the music.
“Apologizing,” she grinned.
Extremely confused, I questioned, “What’s going on?”
“I talked to Devin,” she explained. “Had a long talk with her, actually. She told me what really happened.” Mikey nodded as she spoke, nervously observing the rest of the room as well. “And... I’m sorry.”
“And you came out to LA just to say that?”
“Well, I figured you’d be less likely to tell me to go fuck myself if we were face to face.”
“I see...”
“Plus, I’m on Spring Break and had nothin’ better to do.”
“Yo, can we break for a few?” I asked my co-worker “ mainly Marty.
Marty made it to the front of the room and just chuckled. By now, he was used to my bullshit. “Yeah, let’s break for lunch.”
Glancing at my Movado, I nodded in agreement. “Two hours?” I hoped.
“Hour and a half,” he corrected, grabbing his square bottle of Fiji water. “Good luck.”
“Later, y’all.” I stared at Michaela as my backup dancers exited the room, bidding goodbyes to the two of us while grabbing their respective bags and water bottles. Once we were finally alone, I brought her to the mirror/wall at the front of the room and sat on the shiny wood floor, waiting for her to take my lead. “So you’re really okay with everything?” I initiated.
“I have no reason not to be. You told me what happened and I didn’t take that opportunity to trust you. And for that, I really am sorry.”
“Don’t apologize please. I shouldn’t have bet on you,” I admitted, shaking my head at the floor. “How ‘bout we just start over?”
“Again?”
“Again?” I chuckled, pulling my knees to my chest. “When did we start over before?”
“The day we met.”
“Seriously?”
“Yes!” she laughed and rested her hand on my knee. “But we don’t have to do it now. We’re good.”
“Okay,” I concurred.
“Just don’t bet on me ever again,” she directed, using the quiet moment to punch me in the arm. “If you do, I’m gonna kick your ass.”
“You sound like Devin,” I let slip out with a chortle. Her small, black eyes darted up at me and then back to the floor. “I mean“.”
“Hey, that’s a compliment for me,” she inserted, saving the awkward moment. “I think she’s awesome.”
“Yeah?”
“You knew it before I did.”
“Yeah, but after what she did to you, I’m just surprised...”
“It’s called forgiveness,” she answered. “Plus, anyone that has the balls to stand on my doorstep and make me listen to them, must be somethin’ special.”
“She came to your house?” I asked in astonishment.
“At eight in the fuckin’ morning, too.”
“Damn.”
“Exactly.”
I laughed and let my legs fall back to the floor so that they were surrounding either side of Mikey’s crosslegged form. “So what did she say to you?”
“Well... she said a lot. We had an awesome talk, actually.”
“Oh, really?”
“Mhmm,” she replied, playing with the white shoe laces on my white Forces. “The first thing she told me was that I had to listen to her because she made a mistake and lost the first thing her heart’s been connected to in a long time. And she said that even if I wanted to make that mistake, she wasn’t willing to let it happen to you.”
“To me?” I asked.
“To you.” She licked her full lips, staring at herself in the mirror behind me. “That girl loves you, you know.”
“Devin? Nah.” I shook my head because it was too good to be true. Not Devin Delfino. “I’m sure she meant it when she said she wanted me, and that was only because she had competition. But love? Me? No way.”
“She does,” Mikey countered. “She told me those lies because she wanted you. Fucked up as it was, she did it out of love.”
“No, she did it out of selfishness and being used to getting what she wants.”
“I don’t think so...”
“Trust me.”
“I trust you,” she confirmed with a nod. We sat in silence for about fifty-nine seconds before she said, “So who was her competition?”
“What?”
“You said that she only wanted you ‘cause she had competition. Who was it?”
“You know,” I smiled, biting my bottom lip, “...don’t you?”
“Summer?”
My eyes widened at the fact that she even knew Summer’s name. “You know about her?”
“I’m tellin’ you, me and Devin got to talkin’ in a big way.”
That girl and her mouth. It’s always gettin’ me into shit. “No, Summer is not her competition,” I said sadly, rolling my eyes.
“Is she a sore spot that I shouldn’t have brought up?”
Definitely. “Nah, it’s cool,” I smiled. “We just have issues. But hey, who doesn’t?”
“Yeah.” She comforted me with understanding eyes. I dunno where the hell it came from so suddenly, but a tear rushed down my cheek before I quickly wiped it away, hoping Mikey hadn’t noticed it. “Was she one of the great loves of your life?” she questioned.
“Hell no,” I quipped. “I mean... No, nothing like that.”
“You... hate her so much it makes you wanna cry?” she smiled. “Come on, what’s wrong, J?”
“Nothin’,” I said, scratching the hair that created my goatee. “Just a bad thought.”
“Okay.”
“Michaela, if I tell you somethin’... I mean “ I can trust you right?” I don’t know why I asked that. I knew I could.
“Always.”
There was this aura that surrounded her “ this wide-eyed longing to know and willingness to just be there “ that made me feel like I didn’t have to hold back. I just wanted to pour my soul out and let her tiny brown eyes make everything better. And if I didn’t tell someone soon, I was gonna go insane. So I just spit it out. “Mikey, I have a baby,” I blurted, feeling this immense weight being lifted off of my back when the words finally escaped my lips.
“A baby what?”
“A baby. Like a baby boy or girl,” I answered, wondering if I had just given her too much to digest.
“Okay...” she slowly nodded. “What... I mean “ Umm... Well. Uhh, okay?”
“You’re the first person I’ve told,” I admitted. “Not even my mom knows.”
“Are you kidding me!” she asked with wide eyes. “No one else knows?”
“Not from me.”
“Not Trace?”
“Nope.”
“Not Devin?”
“Nope. I’ve been too scared to tell anyone.”
“Too scared? Or too ashamed?”
I looked up at the ceiling and sniffled air as I pondered her question. “Both.”
“Wow.”
“I know.”
“So, where is he? Or she?”
“I don’t know,” I answered pitifully. “I don’t even know whether the baby is a he or a she.”
“How old is he... Or she?”
I shrugged, feeling insanely lame for knowing absolutely nothing. “I don’t know.”
“Why the hell not, Justin? Why are you makin’ bets and gettin’ head on the dance floor when you got a baby somewhere?”
“‘Cause... I’m an idiot.”
“Lame excuse. When are you gonna get a new one?”
“That’s all I got,” I sighed. “Somehow, while I was into all my other shit, gettin’ famous and gettin’ paid, I lost track of time and forgot to grow up.” I stared intently at her, insisting that this was my truth. “You know, time is a tricky thing. It’ll put your head in two places at once and really fuck you up.”
“That’s still no excuse.”
“You’re right “ it’s not. But it’s the truth. I’ve spent years perpetuating the falsehood that my life is all good. I convinced myself that I had my shit in check and that time would eventually solve anything that wasn’t already perfect. But it’s not,” I explained with raised eyebrows. “I made a mistake one night that time just can’t erase. I fell short and created a destiny that I wasn’t ready for. And then, I tried to ignore it.”
“How so?”
“When Summer told me she was pregnant, I told her to get rid of it and leave me alone “.”
“What!” she yelled, once again. “How could you?”
“I’m not being modest when I say that I’m stupid,” I chuckled. “But after a while, I found my head a little. I wanted to be a part of the baby’s life. But I was too late.”
“How could it be too late?” she interrupted.
“Summer just doesn’t wanna deal with me and my shit anymore. Like I said, we got issues.”
“No, she got issues,” Mikey corrected me. “She can’t just take away your child.”
“She can if she knows I don’t want this to become a legal battle; if she knows that I want it to stay out of public. If she knows that, then she knows she’s got my hands tied.”
“Dude, that’s fucked up.” I nodded along with her, fighting those pending tears burning the back of my head. “I’m so sorry, J.”
“I’ve come to terms with it,” I rationed. “Shit still hurts, though.”
“It should still hurt.”
“I wish it didn’t.”
“That’s like wishing not to have a heart.”
“It would be easier,” I tried to smile.
“So damn, you haven’t told your mom yet?”
I shook my head, staring absently at our blurred reflections in the shiny floor. “I couldn’t.”
“Of course you could. She’s your mother.”
“I couldn’t,” I repeated. “I mean, obviously, she would’ve been there no matter what, but I couldn’t bear to tell her. I could just envision that face “ the disappointment in her eyes. I couldn’t watch myself break her heart; I couldn’t fail her, of all people.”
“So, you’re just not gonna mention it?”
“I dunno,” I shrugged. “I mean, how do you tell your best friend that you kept the biggest secret of your life from them?”
“Same way you told me. Just blurt it out and hope for understanding.”
“Mikey, I can’t.”
“You can.”
“She’ll be devastated.”
“What was that you told me? ‘Love means being open to utter devastation and destruction’?”
“Yeah...”
“No one walking this Earth’s surface loves your more than your mama. Just trust her enough to tell her.” I sighed at the insane notion, feeling the weight that had just been lifted come crashing back down. “Plus, maybe she can help.”
“Doubt it. Summer would ignore my mama, too. Just ‘cause she made me.”
“Well... then, maybe I can help.”
It’s this one thing that got me trippin’
It’s this one thing that got me trippin’ you did
This one thing my soul may be feeling
It’s this one thing you did
Three days later, I was sitting in my bathroom, getting a haircut when my mom walked in with the cordless to tell me that Michaela wanted to talk to me. Happily, I took the phone from her, as I hadn’t spoken to her in at least twenty hours. “What’s up?” I answered, smiling while Trace buzzed around my head.
“Hey, are you busy?”
“Not at the moment, not really. Why?”
“Well, a surprise is on it’s way to you,” I could hear her smile.
“What kind of surprise?”
“A surprise. What kind of surprises are there?”
“Is it a good one?” I hopefully asked.
“It’s a great one. You gonna be around for a while?”
I checked the time, seeing that it was nearing noon and time was quickly slipping away from me... as usual. “I gotta head to this award show around four, but I’m home until then.”
“Well... I guess that’s long enough,” she decided. “I’ll see you soon, okay?”
“Okay.”
“And listen, you might wanna get your mom and whoever else is there out of the house.”
“What kinda freaky ass shit are you up to?” I laughed.
“It ain’t even close to that,” she chuckled back. “Just trust me. I’ll be there in like an hour.”
“Later,” I replied, pressing the phone off.
“What was that about?” Trace asked, running over my newly shaven head with a soft-bristled brush.
“I’m not sure yet,” I said honestly. “But you gotta go.”
“Go where?”
“Anywhere but here.”
“Oh, another booty call. I see.”
“Actually,” I started, “I don’t think that’s it at all.”
It’s this one thing that caught me slippin’
It’s this one thing you did
About two minutes shy of an hour, the buzz at my front gate sounded, and via the surveillance camera, I saw Mikey’s ear-to-ear grin as she sat in the driver’s seat of her rented Dodge Durango. I let her onto the estate and then patiently waited for her to ring the doorbell before swinging it open quickly to see those twinkling eyes shining back.
“Hey,” I grinned brightly, admiring her second all white outfit in the past three days. “How are you?”
She smiled and pulled me in for a hug, whispering to me, “It’s a girl.”
I pulled back from her, a little dazed, a little confused. “What?”
She turned to face the walkway behind her while I looked on in befuddlement. But then, I heard the sound of footsteps against the gravel before Summer’s chocolate face came into view, and in her arms she enveloped a small, blanket-covered bundle that she looked down and smiled at every two seconds.
Mikey turned back to me to watch the expression on my face as it froze into shock. “You okay, J?”
I nodded, watching Summer walk up the few steps it took to reach me before handing me our baby. “Justin, I’d like you to meet Jailyn.”
What a feeling of vulnerability coming over me
And I’m feeling weak and I can’t speak
The tiny angel stirred as she switched from one parents’ arms to the other, opening her wide hazel eyes to stare at me. She was more gorgeous and more perfect than I ever could’ve expected as she gave me a toothless little grin, and held onto my pinky while I studied everything about her.
“Maybe we should go inside,” Michaela suggested, eyeing the premises. “You never know who’s out here.”
Without a response, I followed her into my house while Summer trailed me and we headed to the living room where I ogled over my... daughter. My daughter? Shit dude, I had a daughter. Am I the only one that that sounded completely insane to? “Jailyn,” I said out loud, lightly running my fingers over the soft, light brown hair that covered her delicate crown. “She’s gorgeous,” I commented.
“Thanks to you,” Summer answered awkwardly, crossing her legs as she sat across from me. “I haven’t given her a middle name yet because I wanted to wait on you.”
“But I thought “.”
“Look, as much as I want to, I don’t have it in my heart to hate you,” she explained. “Even if Michaela hadn’t come to me, I would’ve called you eventually.”
“Thank you,” I nodded and then turned to Mikey, hoping I didn’t pull a punk move and cry in front of her again. “And thank you.”
“Don’t mention it,” she grinned, rubbing my back. “Seeing the look on your face right now is enough of a thanks.”
I looked back down at Jailyn, falling in love with every little facet of her round, light brown face. I watched her teeny eyelashes flutter and her little mouth twist around as she tried to go back to sleep; her mini fingers with miniature nails, still wrapped tightly around the only finger on my hand she could grab completely; the rise and fall of her entire body in her pink jumpsuit as she breathed in and out, inhaling the new world that she was now a part of.
Never thought I’d give in so willingly to a human being
With abilities to set me free and let me be me
“When was she born?” I finally asked, not letting her face out of my gaze.
“Eight days ago,” Summer said quietly. “The 28th at 2:09PM.”
“Wow.”
“Seven pounds, four ounces; seventeen inches,” she added. “Four excruciating hours.”
“Just four?” Michaela asked. “That’s amazing; I thought it took at least ten or fifteen.”
“She wanted to come out and see the world,” I interjected. I honestly couldn’t tear my eyes away from her, for even a second. She simply laid in my arms, trying her best to find slumber, but God, she was so perfect; so gorgeously engaging. And she was mine. I’d just fallen in love.
Your lips, your eyes, your smile, your kiss
I must admit, it’s a part of me
You please me, complete me, filling me like a melody
Your soul, your flow, your youth, your truth
It’s simply proof we were meant to be
But the best quality that’s hooking me is that you’re loving me for me
“Mikey, I absolutely cannot thank you enough for everything you’ve done,” I said into my cell, riding down Laurel Canyon towards the gas station.
“Justin, you’ve been thanking me for the past five days. It really was nothing.”
“It was far from nothing,” I disputed. “Do you know how amazing the past five days have been, spending them with my daughter?”
“I can only imagine. I’m just glad I could help.”
“I can’t believe you got her to come all the way from Virginia...”
“Well, from the way you talked about Summer, I thought it was gonna be a huge battle, but she was really understanding and really gracious about everything,” she explained. “Maybe she just needed to get the baby out of her in order to get some perspective about things.”
“Maybe so,” I sighed lightly. “I still owe you my life for sticking your neck out there for me, though.”
“Honestly, J, it was my pleasure.”
“So hey, what do you think about the name Jailyn Rose?”
“It’s gorgeous,” she answered animatedly. “Rose is my middle name, too.”
“I know. That’s why I picked it.”
“Shut up! For real?”
“It’s the least I can do.”
“Justin, you’ve done enough,” she chuckled. “Thank you for the ten dozen white roses, by the way. They’re beautiful.”
“So are you,” I grinned, just imagining the way her smile was probably illuminating her hotel room at that very moment. “Hey, what are you doing tonight?”
“I’m hanging out with a friend,” she said informatively, adding, “if that’s all right with you.”
“Why wouldn’t it be,” I shot back. Even though my heart sank a little bit, I couldn’t tell her she couldn’t go. Could I? “What friends do you have out here? You meet a guy or somethin’?”
“Actually, it’s Devin.”
I damn near hit the brakes and froze in the middle of the street at the simple thought of the two of them hanging out together. “You’re goin’ out with Devin? Why?”
“Well, we’re stayin’ in the same hotel and kept bumpin’ into each other, so we just decided to make it official and hit up The Strip tonight.”
With that said, I immediately swerved into the left lane to turn onto Sunset Boulevard and head for the Hyatt, where Mikey, and apparently, Devin were staying at the moment. “And when do you go back to Memphis?”
“Sunday morning. Unfortunately.”
“That is unfortunate,” I absently commented, trying to keep my whereabouts a secret from her. “When do you finish with school for the summer?”
“Not ‘til the middle of May.”
“And I’ll be gone to England by then. Damn.”
“Maybe I can come see you out there,” she suggested innocently. “If you want me to.”
“Yeah, that would be awesome.” I swiftly pulled into the circular drive-up of the moderately swanky hotel, stopping at the entrance for the valet to take it from there while I quietly and quickly paced through the mellow lobby and onto the elevator, hoping that it didn’t make any elevator-defining sounds as I continued our conversation. “Hopefully, I’ll have some time to hang out with you.”
“You think you won’t?”
“Well, you know how tours can be.”
“No, actually, I don’t,” she giggled. “But I guess I’ll find out this summer.”
“That’s a good guess,” I said lamely, heading for the eleventh floor. “So, what are you doing until you and Devin go out?”
“I dunno. Just roll around this big ass bed until night falls.”
“I like the sound of that,” I playfully admitted, imagining her in that bed “ with me, that is. “You want some company?”
“Not unless it’s yours.”
As I made the right off the elevator, heading for her spot at Room 1159, I said softly with a knock on her door, “That can be arranged.”
“Then come on over,” she nonchalantly invited. “I’m here until tonight; Devin said she’d be here around 9:00.”
I could hear her coming towards the door, so I didn’t answer, but plastered a huge goofy grin on my face so that my excitement to see her would be the first thing she noted when she swung that door open.
And it was. The second she spotted me, her tiny eyes lit up to match her blinding smile before she pulled me into the room for a huge hug, as if we hadn’t just seen one another the day before. “What the hell are you doin’ here!”
“You said you could use some company,” I grinned, rubbing her back. “How you doin’?”
“A little better than I was two minutes ago.” We both flipped our phones closed and walked further into the large room, decorated in the flowers I’d sent, her taking a seat on the black and gray couch beside us. “I was just about to watch ‘Brown Sugar’.”
“That’s a movie?”
“Yeah,” she nodded, patting the open space beside her. “You’ll like it. Come sit down.”
I smiled at her instinctual comfort with me. Most girls that I’ve met since becoming famous have always had apprehension surrounding them. Mikey treats me like one of her boys from Memphis. And in turn, I can look at her as just a homegirl from around the way “ kinda like me and Devin, minus the total infatuation I had for her. Although, even the infatuation part of the equation was starting to come into play for me and Michaela these days.
Oh, been tryin’ to let it go
Tryin’ to keep my eyes closed
Tryin’ to keep it just like before
And trust me, I’m not trying to make it happen. Last thing I want is to be fallin’ for anyone else. I have a daughter now, so I don’t need anything else. It’s a long distance relationship that’ll break my heart each and every time we have to say goodbye, but Jailyn is my highest priority, and she’s what counts most in my little world.
Mikey just has something about her that keeps me completely engrossed. There are all these different layers to her. On the outside, she’s a badass that’s not gonna let anyone fuck with her; but over the past few months, I’ve had the pleasure of uncovering what lies beneath, and I’ve found that she’s a very sweet, compassionate and giving soul when she thinks nobody’s looking. I mean, how many people out there could go to a complete stranger and convince them that their baby should have a relationship with its father? It still boggles my mind that she did that for me.
It’s this one thing that got me trippin’
It’s this one thing that got me trippin’ you did
This one thing my soul may be feelin’
It’s this one thing you did
“Why are you lookin’ at me like that?” Mikey questioned, not taking her eyes off of the television screen. “Somethin’ on my face?”
“There’s nothin’ on your face,” I chuckled softly.
“Well, what’s up?” She finally turned from the movie and faced me with curiosity in her eyes. “What’s goin’ on in that big head of yours?”
I shook my head slightly, directing my attention past the top of her head. “Nothin’.”
“How ‘bout some eye contact, J.”
Taking her direction, I stared directly into her dark eyes, trying to relay a smile that let her know I was fine. “Better?”
“A little.”
“Now why you lookin’ at me like that?” I laughed.
“I’m just studying you for a minute. Is that okay?”
“It’s fine.”
“You look like you have somethin’ you wanna say.”
Don’t wanna tell you what it is
“It’s nothin’,” I repeated, trying to convince myself before even attempting to make her believe it. “I’m just finding you incredibly gorgeous right now.”
“What? Shut up,” she laughed, scratching the back of her head that had been covered in untamed curls. “I look like crap.”
Well, she wasn’t dressed in an evening gown, but I found her sweat pants and tank top to be very endearing. But just to avoid saying anything else agonizingly corny, I let my lips do the talking and took a dive for her mouth.
The first kiss always has that unexpected magic surrounding it. Once again, I felt like I’d just freed myself from some sort of captivity “ the imprisonment of not knowing what the hell to say anymore. Our lips touched and we just sort of melted into one another; like we had both been waiting for it since November but never knew how to initiate it. I didn’t hear any Marvin Gaye, but I felt a type of butterfly flutter that I hadn’t felt since I was fifteen.
Ooh wee, it felt so serious
“Finally,” she sighed, falling to the back of the couch once we pulled apart.
“Finally?”
“I’ve been waiting for that moment since I saw you on TRL like three years ago,” she laughed.
“You’re funny,” I chuckled, leaning to the opposite side of the sofa.
“Well hey, it’s true.” She stretched her long legs across my lap, turning off the second movie we’d been watching so that the room was completely quiet and the dark of the evening began to settle in through the large windows. “So, how was it for you?”
“How was what? The kiss?”
“Yeah. What did you think?”
“Could’ve been better,” I joked with a shrug. “Maybe we should try it again.”
“Maybe so,” she agreed, springing her petite body from its position on the sofa to sit up and face me. “Am I starting it this time?”
“You can’t ask a question like that. It can’t be contrived,” I told her. “It’ll just happen when it’s supposed to happen.”
“Oh, so I have to wait another four months for another kiss is what you’re saying.”
Grinning, I defended, “That is not what I said.”
“So what you sayin’ then?”
“I’m sayin’ shut up and kiss me,” I instructed with a smirk.
She instantly repositioned herself to a straddle my hips and cupped my face before consuming my small lips with her tongue. She licked them quickly and then massaged her tongue into my mouth by way of force while my lips openly and warmly accepted. As our tongues wrestled and my fingers instinctively trickled up her shirt, I involuntarily let my mind wander to the fact that this was where so many of my ruined relationships started going downhill. These random, meaningless hookups always turn to sudden, bittersweet breakups. I didn’t want that to happen to me and Michaela, by any means.
Got me thinkin’ just too much
But how was I supposed to stop?
I wanna set it off, but...
I guess a knock at the door would’ve done it. “It’s housekeeping, bitch. Open the door!” From the hallway, I easily recognized the voice as that of Devin and once again, my heart leapt about ten feet, just from the thought of seeing her.
“I gotta get outta here,” I whispered, pulling away from Mikey’s lips. “I gotta go.”
“What? Why?”
“‘Cause Devin’s here and I just can’t see her right now.”
“Michaela Woods,” Devin continued to proclaim, “I know your little ass is in there. Let me in, I gotta pee, girl!”
“I’m coming,” Mikey shot back to appease her. “Justin, why can’t you see her? Isn’t she your friend?”
“I don’t know what she is. But, I’m just “ I “ I can’t see her,” I sputtered. “Can you try to get rid of her?”
It’s this one thing that got me trippin’
Very slowly, she climbed off of me, wiping her swollen lips as she headed to the front of the room. “Hey, Devin,” she smiled, opening the door. “You’re early, aren’t you?”
“I know I said 9:00, but I just got back to the hotel and I thought I’d stop by before I headed all the way up to my floor, just in case you were ready.”
“Oh...”
“You busy?”
“A little,” Mikey admitted. “I can be ready in like ten minutes, though.”
“Awesome. But do you mind if I use your restroom? I had like two smoothies in the past hour and I have to go so bad.”
Don’t let her in, Mikey. Don’t let her in. “Sure,” she agreed, opening the door wider so that Devin could come in. What the fuck is she doing?
As Devin scurried into the room, wearing an outfit almost identical to Michaela’s, she got all the way to the bathroom door before spotting me sitting nervously on the couch and turned back around. “Hey, Justin.”
“Hey,” I said quietly, watching Mikey close the door and stand in the middle of the room to observe the two of us. “Long time, no see.”
“Yeah, no shit,” she nodded, beginning to wrap her brown and blonde curls into a ponytail. “How have you been?”
“Good.”
“You look good.”
“So do you,” I replied, looking down.
“I called you the other day. Did you get my message?”
“Yeah. Sorry I didn’t“.”
“Don’t worry about it,” she grinned brightly. “I just wanted to tell you how much ass you kicked at the Soul Train Awards on Saturday.”
“Really?”
“Hell yeah, dude.”
“Thanks.”
“Well, I hate to be rude,” she began, “and I’m so sorry I interrupted you guys, but I’m just gonna use the bathroom and get outta y’all’s way.”
“You didn’t interrupt anything,” I stupidly denied, already knowing that I was receiving a glare from Michaela. “I’m the one imposing on your time together.”
“No, no, I’m sure Mikey would much rather be with you than me,” she laughed. “You wanna hang out some other time?” she asked her.
“No, tonight’s good. I suddenly felt the need for a Girls Only night.”
“You sure?”
“Absolutely positive,” she emphasized, staring coldly at me. “Justin, perhaps you should go. Me and Devin have plans.”
“Oh God, don’t kick him out on my account,” Devin protested. “In fact, why don’t I just go up to my room and pee. Mikey, you wanna meet in the lobby in like fifteen?”
“Sure,” she agreed.
“Okay. Justin, maybe we’ll talk later?” she asked.
“Call me when you get back tonight,” I nodded. “Or... whenever.”
She smiled again, her light blue eyes twinkling in a way that told me things between us could actually go back to normal. Or whatever we were before our awesome sex messed shit up. “If that’s what you want.”
“I do.”
“Mikey, I’ll see you soon.” I carefully watched her quickly exit the room in a puff of her same fruity scent and carefree attitude that she always had going for her.
“So were you gonna wait for me to leave the room or fuck her right there on the couch?” Mikey demanded, interrupting my thoughts.
“What?”
“She didn’t interrupt anything? Could you be any more obvious?”
“Well, you’re the one that let her in!”
“She was dancing in circles and asked if she could use the bathroom. What was I supposed to say?”
“How about ‘No’?”
“Justin, that’s rude.”
“You would’ve said it to me if the tables had been turned. Why couldn’t you tell her?”
“Because... it would’ve been rude,” she awkardly repeated.
“She’s been rude to you. You can do it back to her.”
“No, I can’t. Two wrongs don’t make a right.” She began to dig her bare feet into the black and gray carpet, very obviously displacing her nervous energy. “And plus, she apologized to me. And as you can see, we’re cool now.”
“Uh huh.” I wasn’t convinced.
“What?”
“Did she threaten you or somethin’? ‘Cause she’s pretty much all talk, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
“Didn’t nobody threaten me,” she quipped. “I just “ look, I gotta go meet her soon, so maybe you should get goin’.”
“Are you scared of Devin?”
“No!”
“Yes you are!”
“I am not.”
“How about some eye contact, sweetheart.”
She looked up from the floor and stared from across the room, but not at me. “I’m not scared of her.”
“Not even a little?”
“Well...” She took that opportunity to oddly pace towards her suitcase and dig through it to ignore my question.
“Michaela?”
“What?” she snapped.
After the harshness of our awkward silence subsided a bit, I told her, “It’s okay if she intimidates you a little. She scares me, too.”
“I’m not scared of her,” she sniffled, still palming through her bag. “I’m scared of you when it comes to her. I’m scared of what happens to me when you see her, hear her, think about her. I wonder if I still exist.”
“Are you kidding me?”
“Not at all.” She finally turned to face me with the threat of tears glistening in her eyes. “I can’t compete with her, Justin. So, if that’s what you’re gonna turn this into, why don’t you just let me know now so I don’t waste my time trying.”
“Mikey, what are you talking about? Me and Devin are just friends.”
“And so are you and me. But we both know where this is going if we don’t watch it.”
“And where is that?”
“Well, I can’t speak for you, but my feelings are already formed. I can keep them in check for now, but I see them quickly getting out of hand if we carry on this way.”
I nodded, knowing exactly what she meant. I was already leaving the ground, if you know what I mean. “Listen, I can’t predict the future, Mikey. But I guarantee you, you do not have to compete with Devin.”
“Honestly, Justin?”
“Honestly.” I rose from the sofa to give her a tight, sincere embrace, complete with a kiss to the forehead. “Y’all have fun, okay?”
“It’s Devin. I’m sure we will,” she smiled. “I’ll call you in the morning.”
I picked up my Pony hat and my valet ticket from the coffee table and headed out of the door for the lobby. I still haven’t figured out whether it was good or bad luck that had me catch the same elevator as Devin, but some kind of fate put us together when I planned to just leave the hotel.
When you leave, I’m beggin’ you not to go
Call your name two or three times in a row
“Fancy meeting you here,” I smiled, stepping onto the car with her, wearing the same sweat pants and wifebeater outfit she’d had on in Mikey’s room.
“Why you followin’ me,” she grinned, pressing the button for the lobby again.
“You wish I was followin’ you, girl.”
“That’s very true. Which must be why you are.”
“Cute.”
“So now that you’re done with your booty call for tonight, where are you off to?”
“That wasn’t a booty call,” I negated. “We were just hangin’ out.”
“And makin’ out.” She wiped my lip with the top of her finger. “You had a little lip gloss...”
“Oh, thanks,” I chuckled.
More silence enveloped the elevator as our short ride to the lobby came to a close. But as Devin always does, she broke the quiet with her voice. “Justin, I don’t know if you ever really accepted my apology, but I’m sorry for screwin’ with you and Mikey like that.”
“Please,” I dismissed. “We’re so far past that. We’re getting along great now.”
“I can see that,” she laughed, walking into the lobby towards a pair of open seats in the far right corner of the hotel. “Clearly, you’re getting it on just great.”
“No, we’re friends.”
“I’m sure.”
“Hey, she told me what you said, and I really appreciate that.”
“I didn’t say anything that wasn’t true.”
“Well, you didn’t have to say it at all,” I said, taking a seat in the chair I knew she was about to take.
“Bitch, that’s my seat.”
“It’s mine now.”
“Justin!”
“I’m sittin’ here. It’s gone, baby.”
“The hell you say,” she countered loudly, squeezing into the wide seat with me. “Move your skinny ass over.”
“Move your fat ass to another chair,” I demanded, laughing as she tried to push me over while I shoved her rear in the opposite direction.
“I’m gonna kick you in a minute,” she cackled, just before we both went crashing to the lobby floor. We continued to laugh at our ridiculousness until she elbowed me in the stomach with a wide grin. “Shit like this is why I’ve missed your stupid ass.”
“I’ve missed you, too,” I finally told her, smiling back. “Maybe this time you’ll stick around.”
Such a funny thing for me to try and explain
How I’m feelin’ and my pride is the one to blame
“You’re stuck with me all summer, homeboy. You don’t have a choice.”
I thought Devin was finally becoming a closed chapter in my life; I thought I was getting over her and able to maybe move on with Michaela if I chose to, but damn me for not being able to resist her ass; no matter how hard I tried, I had a neverending habit of falling for her charm. And it seemed that the feeling was mutual. Maybe Mikey does have something to worry about.
It’s the beat that my heart skips when I’m with you
But I still don’t understand
Just how your love can do what no one else can
Got me lookin’ so crazy right now
Lyrics:
“1 Thing” - Amerie (Touch)
“Loving Me 4 Me” - Christina Aguilera (Stripped)
“Crazy In Love” - Beyonce (Dangerously In Love)
Story Tags: daddyj friendsturnedlovers interracial boyfriendj love angryj tourj
