Prologue. Me
You think you know me
Word on the street is that you do
You want my history?
What others tell you won’t be true
You think you know. But you have no idea. There’s so much truth behind that statement. And the fucked up thing about it is that I don’t even think y’all want to know. I think you’re happier basking in the ignorance of lies. ‘Cause I’ll be honest “ I know I am. Why? Because the truth sucks. The truth always manages to bring someone down; ruin somebody’s good day, or make a bad one worse. Deception is the currency of the world, you know. It’s so much easier. Lying is much more pleasant to the ear... even if it is brutal to the heart. But when we lie, we don’t care about the consequences. We just appreciate the quick fix that it furnishes. Because if we’re lucky, we will have packed our shit and bounced before truth can rear its ugly head.
I’ve walked a thousand miles while everyone was asleep
Nobody’s really seen my million subtleties
So, why this story? Because maybe it’s time to be a man about my life. I’m twenty-four now “ I can’t run forever. I think it’s time to stop lying to the world. I know for damn sure that it’s time I stop lying to myself. The older I get, the more I despise leading this double life. And I don’t just mean the private life of the celebrity me. I’m talking about apodictic, deliberated secrecy. It’s nothing crazy like criminal activity, but there are things I’ve done that I’m certainly not proud of. And then there are those things I’ve done that aren’t so bad, but still couldn’t share with the world because they’re directly correlated with the bad shit. I’ve hurt people that I loved and screwed over people that I thought I hated. I’ve created some of the most beautiful relationships, only to watch them wither away because of my wrongdoing. You wanna hear about it all? Well, keep reading.
I hear you talkin’
Well, it’s my turn now, I’m talkin’ back
Look in my eyes so you can see just where I’m at
I mean, I’m sure you’ve heard things “ rumors, gossip and the like. Everybody talks. But no one listens. You read the tabloid bullshit and make your own assumptions. And then you read the fucked up magazine articles and interviews that I subject myself to and decide that you know a thing or two about my life. I used to say that ninety-five percent of what you read in the gossip pages is untrue, but in actuality, I think it’s closer to ninety-nine percent. And it’s not just Star and Life & Style or whatever the shit is called, but half the shit I say in Rolling Stone is a lie, too. Honesty just isn’t my forte. I’ve struggled with it for a long time now. Years and years of perpetuating falsehoods is a hard habit to kick.
I walked a thousand miles to find one river of peace
And I’ll walk a million more to find what this shit means
But like I said, change starts here. I’m doing something I never said I’d do. I’m taking my very own love story “ the women I’ve loved, fucked, trusted, and hated “ and I’m handing you the truth. Here, you get the true Hollywood story of Justin & Britney; where the rumors about me and Beyoncé began; the reality of Camstin; and then, a few other innocent victims of the tangled web I’ve woven. Here, you get what you’ve always wanted: me.
Got bruises on my heart, and sometimes I get dark
If you want my autobiography, baby, just ask me
Here, I’ll air my dirty laundry.
Lyrics:
“Autobiography” - Ashlee Simpson (Autobiography)
Story Notes:
Hi, everyone. This story is complete, and was posted at the other archive, so I'll be adding chapters frequently. Most of you probably recognize it, but if you haven't read it yet, I hope you enjoy! Thanks for reading. -Ash
Story Tags: daddyj friendsturnedlovers interracial boyfriendj love angryj tourj
