Darcie looked up from her photo album as the door to her room opened.

“Aren’t you supposed to be sleeping’?” JC asked as he stepped inside and closed the door.

“Well wouldn’t you being up here be completely redundant then?” Darcie shot back, “What brings you to this part of the house?”

“They kept saying that someone should come check on you and then made it very obvious that it should be me.” JC said stretching out on the bed beside her. “How are you feeling anyway?”

“Better.” Darcie muttered, her cheeks pinking, “I’m a little embarrassed that I freaked out that way, but I’ve never been good with people I don’t know cornering me like that.”

JC didn’t say anything as he pulled her photo album from her hands and flipped to the beginning of the book. “When are all these from?” He asked.

Darcie looked over his shoulder and stared at the pictures of her and Chris. “Those are from before I met you guys.” She told him grinning at the pictures that were taken in the photo booth of Canada’s wonderland. “He came to visit when you guys had a week break and we went to an amusement park.”

JC whistled low as he slid one of the pictures out and studied it closely, “That’s quite the shiner you got.”

Darcie blushed and plucked the picture from his hand and slid it back into its home. “Yeah, it hurt like a bitch too.”

Darcie flipped the page and grinned at the picture of her with JC, Joey, Justin and Lance crammed into a bunk bed. “Hey I forgot all about this one!”

~ * ~

 “Where did Chris get that this would be a good idea?” Justin grumbled as Joey boosted him up. 

“Cause Darcie was the one who said we should get a picture of it.” Lance laughed as he curled himself into the corner so Darcie could lean out. 

“You guys were the ones who wanted to wake JC up and show him what he looks like in the morning.” Darcie muttered as she pulled on Justin’s arm, “It’s not my fault he’s sleeping on the top bunk.” 

“Good thing we went with the open concept, otherwise squeezing us all in to one of the bottom bunks would have been a pain.” Joey muttered as he pulled himself up by JC’s head. 

They waited for Chris to pull himself up onto the top bunk opposite of them before the four of them pounced on JC, tickling him awake.  

“What the - ?” JC shrieked as he sat up, smacking his forehead on Justin’s chin. Justin glared at JC as Joey and Darcie grabbed JC’s shoulders and turned him to face Chris. Both Joey and Darcie pressed their lips to JC’s cheeks as Lance and Justin moved to either side of them.  

~ * ~

“Stephanie was so mad at you guys because it took her so long to cover me and Justin’s bruises for the appearance that night.” JC laughed.

Darcie giggled and flipped the page, looking at the pictures that she had taken of all the guys, “You all look like babies, nice hair there Caesar.”

JC scowled, “I hated that hair cut.”

“Could be worse, Joey had greaser hair and Justin and Lance’s could bring down a plane.” Darcie giggled.

“Where in the world did you get this one?” JC laughed holding it up.

“One roll of film three dollars, batteries for the flash six dollars, a picture of Justin Timberlake picking his nose and not knowing he got caught, priceless.” Darcie told him.

“I can’t believe you never showed that to me!” JC laughed, “Does Justin know you have this?”

“Why do you think he bought me a play station?”

JC grinned and shook his head, flipping through the pictures. He stopped and pulled one of the two of them from its sleeve. Darcie studied him as he stared for along time at the picture, a smile slowly spreading across his lips.

“This picture used to drive Bobbie up the wall.” He said with a sigh.

“Why, it’s only a picture.” Darcie muttered.

“Chris and the guys blew this one up and framed it for me for Christmas a few years ago.” He told her, “It’s actually hanging in my room.”

~ * ~

 “Darcie don’t fall off that speaker, your mother would hunt me down and kill me if you did.” Chris called from above Darcie. 

Darcie’s head slowly rose from her book as he swung past her in his harness. They were going through the choreography for Sailing, which meant that for the previous thirty minutes Darcie had listened to Chris whining about not wanting to get into his harness since he hated heights. 

“I’m fine Christopher, really!” She muttered, “Stop worrying, you’re like mother hen.” 

“Besides, she’s not even that high up.” JC said as he did a flip in his harness. 

“Don’t start the teaming up thing!” Chris snapped, “Must you do that, it makes me nauseous to watch you.” 

Darcie rolled her eyes as Lance flew past her, Justin close behind him. “I really feel sorry for the guys who have to work your rigging!” She called to them. 

“It’s like being Peter Pan, Canada.” Lance said, “You should try it.” 

“No way in hell am I doing my Wendy Darling impression.” Darcie muttered, noticing that Chris’s back was finally to her. “Oh God!” 

Chris spun around when he heard Darcie’s scream, “What happened?” 

“Oh God, you should see your face!” She said, bursting into giggles. 

“Cute, are you trying to give me a heart attack?” Chris demanded.  

Darcie tried not to laugh, she really did, but the sight of Chris hanging in front of her from a harness, pale from his fear of heights and trying to act like he was mad was just too much. 

“She doesn’t have to try, at your age it’s to be expected.” JC called out from where he was. 

“Now I know where she’s getting it from.” 

Chris and JC started fighting in mid air until two techs pulled the switches that pulled them apart. Of course that didn’t stop them from continuing to throw punches and kick their legs as they were separated. 

“Chris, I need to check one of the cables in your harness!”  

Darcie giggled as Chris all but kissed the ground when he was released from his harness. She jumped as JC’s hands fell on her shoulders to steady him. 

“Hi.” He said with a grin, “You sure you don’t want to try this?” 

“No thanks, I’ll probably scream louder then Chris.” She said as she saw Chris take a picture of Lance and Justin doing flips together. 

Joey flew past her, posing like superman, “Come on D, they’re a lot of fun.” 

“Nah, if she doesn’t want to go in them we shouldn’t force her, it would only mean that she wouldn’t have any fun.” 

Darcie smiled up at him, “Thanks JC.” 

They both blinked when Chris flash went off from below them, “Awww my babies are growing up.” 

~ * ~ 

JC looked up at Darcie as a loud yawn came from her. “You should really get some sleep.”

“Sorry, it’s not the company.” She told him, “Would you mind sticking around till I fall asleep?”

JC nodded and wrapped the blanket around her as she snuggled into her pillow. He continued flipping through the pictures, smiling at the picture of the six of them throwing water at each other in a fountain in Rome, and the aftermath of Darcie on Joeys back and the guys surrounding them, all of them soaked and sporting cheesy grins.

He glanced back and saw that Darcie was sleeping so he stood up and walked over to her dresser, putting the photo album on top of it. He started to turn away when a piece of paper with his name on it caught his attention. He stole a look at Darcie before picking them up and settling into the chair in the corner of her room and started to read.

Dear JC, 

If you’re reading this it means that you know everything and this is my chance to make you understand. In order for that to happen, you need to know what happened to me since the last time any of you saw me. 

I used to think that my dad’s behaviour was his own individuality, kind of like a finger print. I never really thought much about it.

So what if I was adding one or two extra bottles to the pile in the garage each week. Even when mom and I returned the bottles at the end of the month and I discovered those “extras” helped Vodka and Jack Daniels out number Snapple and coke two to one, I still made excuses for him. Maybe we had had company, or maybe it had been awhile since we dropped off the empties. Then there was mom’s joke that Dad was trying to escape the idea that his baby was growing up. But I knew that we hadn’t had any visitors and we had dropped off the empties at the end of the month like we always did. Mom’s joke was a little to real, especially since he had started having more then just one beer after work not long after I turned thirteen. 

I wanted so badly to believe that it was nothing that I convinced myself just that.

He called it a “Social Drink” when I asked him about it, I called it getting plastered. Either way it left me feeling completely alone. 

There were so many changes in my family. 

My sister had moved in with her boyfriend and they became engaged. Mom spent the hours that she wasn’t at the bakery over at their house, helping her plan the wedding and never wanted to talk about dad’s hobby. I spent my time alone or with my friends, and dad, well dad turned to alcohol to tame his demons. 

The one time I asked Dale about it she shrugged it off, blaming it on stress. Then he lost his job. 

Soon the drinking wasn’t enough for him. He started with a simple slap across the face after we got into an argument about a class I missed. Soon it became and every day thing.

At first I took it, not wanting to hurt him back, but eventually I had to do something. I finally began to hit back and threw as many punches at him as he threw at me. Of course he would usually win, since he was stronger, or else he’d just go back to his booze and leave me in my room, broken and beaten. Each night, once he left, I’d call Ami and she’d let me cry and tell her everything. 

One time Chris actually caught my dad in the act, and took me away from it all. That was when I first met all of you.

He arranged for me to take my finals in Orlando and then we just hung out until my bruises were healed. 

When I got back my dad seemed to stay away, it seemed the three months of me being away had managed to calm him down enough.

Then one night, while mom and Dale were once more out discussing the wedding, dad got drunk and flew off the handle about tripping over Bronx’s toys. He said that he didn’t understand why you guys would have bought me a dog without checking with him first. 

After that I began sneaking out and crawling through a window that Ami left open for me. I’d sleep in her room until the next morning and then go back home and sneak in to my bed.

Dad caught me one time and nailed my windows shut. 

Now after each beating the only thing I could do was turn on my CD player and cry while listening to your voices sing me to sleep.

Mom was afraid to leave him; she couldn't support us and pay for Dale's damn wedding. I eventually ran away from home, not being able to take the abuse any more.

Ami’s parents took me in, wanting to phone the police. I avoided my home so much that I’m surprised Ami’s parents didn’t own my birth certificate.  

For months they tried to convince me and mom to phone the police, but then dad and Dale’s fiancé had an argument that ended with dad pulling a gun on him and getting arrested. 

He got out on a technicality.

The officer that responded to the scene put the wrong date on his report and dad was released.

The night he got home he beat me so bad I was in the hospital for two weeks. Mom told me that Chris had phoned a few times, but dad told him that I was away visiting my family in Alberta. 

Ami brought my NSYNC CD and my photo albums to the hospital. Each night I fell asleep listening to the CD and staring at the pictures in my photo album. 

For a while I hated you and the other guys.  

So many times you guys promised that you would always be there and never forget me, and here I was all alone and terrified of what would happen to me when I got out. I was bitter and wanted to blame someone for my situation. 

When I got home from the hospital, my feelings of hate were taken away the minute I looked into Bronx’s face. I knew that I was still in the back of your mind and I knew that if you could have protected me from all the nightmares I was living through you would have. 

Ami had sent Chris an email, telling him what had really happened, and he came to see me for a few days. He told you guys that he had come for Dale’s wedding, even though it was no where near the date.

He told my dad that if he touched me again he’d have him thrown in jail, and since Chris had access to the best lawyers, dad believed him. Things settled down around my house, dad never came near me again.  

Ami moved in a few months later. Her parents were killed in a car crash and her brother was living in Holland. Ami didn’t want to move away from home, so mom took her in like her parents had once done for me.  

Everything was fine until that horrible night.  

When Bronx died a piece of my heart died with him. He was my only connection to my four brothers and the man that I knew I loved with all my heart, body and soul.

Since you’ve never been shot, let me tell you what it feels like.  

Take the worst punch you’ve ever been hit with and multiply it by a thousand, that’s just the impact. After that it burns, like holding a lighter for too long once it’s lit. It’s enough to take your breath away. After that your body goes cold, except for where the wound is, it’s burning hot with pain and the warmth of your blood seeping from it. 

Have you ever seen blood in the moonlight? I have, it looks black, not red. 

After that, Dale called off her wedding and helped Ami find a place to live until mom and I got out of the hospital. In that time Ami graduated from High School and I gave up the hope of attending college that September. When mom was released, she phoned my Aunt and Uncle in Orlando, asking if we could stay with them for little while. She had to get away from all the memories Toronto held.

We packed our things and moved into my aunt’s guest house for a few months. My uncle helped my mom get a good paying job and eventually we moved into a small house of our own. I called Chris as soon as we were settled to give him my new phone number and address.  
He called me a few days ago, wanting to know if Ami and I would help him move into the condo. He promised to provide, beer, pizza and entertainment. When I asked if the entertainment would be strippers he told me I’d have to settle for Justin and Lance arguing over which way the pillows went on the couch. 

So here it is, moving day. It’s about four in the morning and I’m sitting on my bed to nervous to sleep. I’m nervous about what you guys will think of me when you see me. I'm nervous about what Ami will think of you guys and vice versa. But most of all I'm nervous about seeing you again.  

I know that when I see you I’ll want to run and throw myself in your arms and tell you everything. I want to tell you I love you more than life itself even if you don’t feel the same about me. 

I should try and get some sleep; after all, I’m sure Chris will have me and Ami doing all the work.

Much love,
Darcie


~ * ~

Darcie slowly opened her eyes and stretched, stopping mid groan when she spotted JC sitting in the corner. His face had traces of tears on it and he was holding several pieces of paper in his hand.

“If that’s a song, I highly recommend not putting it on the album.” She teased, startling him, “If it makes you cry think of what it’ll do to the fan girls.”

JC sniffled and climbed to his feet, sitting down at the edge of her bed, and taking her hand. “Darcie, I want you to tell me everything, right now.”