"These pictures are beautiful, Audrina."

Audrina looked up from chewing on a piece of dinner roll, Aundrea looking over the proofs from the photoshoot days before. "You really like them?"

"I love them," she said, lifting up a particular photo of she and JC sitting at the piano, she leaning into him, her forehead against his cheek, eyes settled where his hands were on the keys as she watched him play. "If it wasn't evident that you still loved him, Drine," she said softly, the photo being held between the two of them across the table. "And this one," she said, lifting another of the two of them still at the piano, his eyes burning into hers, she remembering that exact moment that photo was taken, "if it doesn't spill out the love vibes from both of you, then I don't know what that is."

Audrina stifled a slight chuckle, shaking her head. "It's photography, Drea."

"This may be a photograph, but when they say a picture is worth a thousand words, they weren't lying. It's more than photography, it's love. Love that the two of you obviously still have for each other. You slept with him, Audrina. Not years ago, but weeks ago. You aren't like that, and I know you wouldn't do that unless you were still emotionally connected to that person. "

"Drea -"

"I just don't know why you two are fighting so much. I mean, I know there's AJ, but even he knows the connection between the two of you. And he -"

"Aundrea," she stopped her friend, biting her lip. "Something else happened."

Aundrea continued to look at the photos, smiling down at one of her facing the camera, JC's forehead to the side of her head, his smile sweet, eyes closed as she grinned. "What do you mean something else happened?"

"I mean, my heart got in the way again and I kissed him."

Aundrea looked up, hands frozen in mid-lifting of the photo, eyeing her friend from across the table. "You ki-you kissed him?!"

Audrina looked down, nodding as she studied her fingers. "I love him, Drea; I can't help it. I'm in love with two men and I don't know what to do ..."

"You can't be in love with two men."

"But I am!"

"No," she said softly, shaking her head, "I didn't mean you couldn't be, you shouldn't be."

"Don't you think I know that?"

"I'm sure you do, Drine," Aundrea said softly, reaching forward and gripping her friend's hand, watching as she aged right in front of her with everything going on in her mind. With everything she had gone through, both men had been there for her, both men had supported her with everything that came her way. "I know there's one that you love more. I know there's one you want to be with more than the other. As bad as that sounds, you do have to make a choice."

"I know I do. I just ... can't you do it for me?"

Aundrea laughed at the pitiful look her friend gave her, shaking her head. "No one can choose who you love but yourself. With matters of the heart, you need to choose the one who has your heart. The one you know who will handle it with care and not break it."

"They're both bound to break my heart in one way or another."

"But ... which one would you rather hurt by?"

Audrina took a sip of her wine, licking her lips and looking anywhere but at her friend. "The one that could possibly kill me."

He sat on the edge of the stage, going through soundcheck as if it were an every day occurance. In a way, in his lifestyle, it was an every day occurance. They were going over the pyrotechnics, Johnny watching from the floor directly in front of JC. Everyone seemed to have been enthralled with the lights and the explosions.

Everyone but him.

If he closed his eyes, he still felt her lips against his, felt her hands touching his face. If he thought even harder, he felt her breath against his face when they were taking the photos at the piano. But then again, if his eyes were open, sometimes he could just envision her walking towards him with the broad smile on her face much like she used to when they were together.

He dropped his head as he stared as his hands that were clasped between his legs. It didn't take a super genius to tell him he was madly in love with her; it didn't take a child, either. He made a mistake all those years ago and he was still making up for it. He had confused her, hurt her, lost her ... and his timing was so off when he decided he needed to make it up to her. She was slowly becoming happy again with someone, slowly going into a life that he had wanted to give her and had when they were together.

But it wasn't with him and he was insanely jealous.

"It looks really good, JC," Johnny stated as he broke him from his fleeting thoughts. "Really good. Have you seen Audrina's pyro yet?"

He nodded, sliding off of the edge of the stage and looking up where Johnny was still looking. "I saw the ending of it. It's like a fucking fireworks show."

Johnny laughed. "Takes too much attention off of her, eh, Chasez?"

"She doesn't need all that fancy stuff to gain attention from people. They already are drawn to her."
s
Johnny arched an eyebrow. "Jace, don't tell me you're still trying to get her back."

"I'm not trying," he said, shaking his head as Johnny sighed, content with his answer, "I'm winning." He avoided Johnny's look, watching as she entered from stage left, grinning widely as Aundrea chattered along side her, keeping her attention fully. He watched her as she paused, squinting her eyes and focusing on something opposite of her off stage. Watched her grin widen if it was possible and run across the stage, jumping onto the form that caught her, arms wrapped around her as her legs locked at their ankles, holding her body up as the person held him.

And then she kissed him.

AJ.

His heart sank, watching as AJ lowered her feet gently to the floor, her arms still around his neck. Jealousy plagued him as he watched AJ leaned into her, speaking sweetly into her ear as she smiled widely, her hands gripping the hem of his shirt, standing on tiptoes as she kissed him again.

His heart broke at the scene in front of him. What he saw was a simple girl with a complex heart; one who didn't know what she wanted anymore, even when both men were standing in front of her with what they had to offer.

It was obvious that she cared deeply for AJ. He treated her well, made her happy, kept her smiling.

He could do that. He did do that.

And then he had to go and fuck it all up. Who was to say he wouldn't do it again if he had the chance to make it up to her?

"JC, you ready to do the song with her?"

He looked up, seeing Johnny standing on the stage and looking down at him, Audrina's eyes burning into the side of his face. "I -"

"Jace?"

His eyes slowly dragged towards Audrina, who was looking at him oddly, eyes concerned. "I have to go." Without any other word, he turned on his heel, walking briskly out of the arena, his hollow footsteps echoing on the linoleum floor.

He heard movement behind him, ignoring it as he pushed the doors open to the outside. He needed to breathe, needed to get air before he went crazy.

Leaning up against the wall on the outside, he slid down, knees to his chest as he put his forehead to his knees. "God, I'm such a coward. Such a fucking coward."

"Joshua Scott."

His head lifted at her voice, she standing in front of him with her hands on her hips. "Go away, Rina."

"I will not," she said softly, kneeling so that she was resting on the back of her heels, butt not touching the ground. "Why did you leave?"

"I can't do what I've been doing anymore," he mumbled, looking away to ignore the gaze she was giving him. "I can't keep trying to get you when you're happy with him. That's the only thing I've ever wanted for you ... to just be happy. The selfish part of me wanted it to be with me, but apparently, even though you and I have this crazy little love thing going on, it's not enough. Just ... do me a favor?"

She arched an eyebrow, green eyes dark as she tried to read his face. Her skin began to prickle with the hot air meeting her cool skin, she running her hands down her arms as she waited for him to continue, waited for him to release the breath he had been holding the moment he finished the last sentence. His eyes were as dark as sapphires, bags heavy beneath them. "What has gotten into you?"

"Me? I should be asking you that, too. Kissing me and then suddenly kissing him. I can't play this game of cat and mouse anymore, Rine. Just, please ... "

She stood, watching as he swallowed hard, eyes looking anywhere but at her. "What, JC? Please, what?!"

"Stay away from me. Do me a favor and stay away from me. Not only am I hurting you, but I'm hurting myself. I can't do this anymore. I have said it numerous times ... but I mean it this time. I'm done. I'm wiping my hands clean. I'm in love with you and you're in love with me and AJ. I'm not going to make you choose because I'm going to choose for you. Leave me alone and live the life you've wanted with him. I was so ready to fight with the gloves off but I'm not that man. I have never been that man and you drove me to be that man. I drove myself to be that man. I can't. I just ... I can't." He got up, looking her dead in the eyes, tears brimming in his eyes as her bottom lip quivered, tears threatening to spill from her eyes, "Love is something that's so crazy. Maybe I can't deal with it. Maybe I can, but I can't do something to some man who deserves you just as much as I do. I'm throwing in the towel. I'm done. So please, stop talking to me. Stop looking at me, stop being you around me. Loving you hurts, Audrina. I never thought I'd want to give up on you, but ... now, now I do."

"Josh -"

He held his hand up, silencing her. "I'm done." He wiped his hands, holding them up to show her he had rid himself of their history, jaw clenched as he fought his own emotions. "Done."

"Josh, please!"

His jaw began to tremble as he heard her break, turning away from her and heading for his bus, wanting to be alone.

"Don't walk away from me like this! Please!"

He shook his head, eyes clenched tightly as he stopped for a moment, silence taking over between the two of them. "I'm sorry," he murmured, "I'm so sorry that I even stepped into your life. It was pointless."

"Loving me was pointless," she asked softly, voice hurt. "I was pointless? Those six years were pointless?"

He looked over his shoulder, heart breaking as he took in her emotional face. "You will never, ever be something I regret, Audrina; I just can't go on with you in my life. It'll send me to my grave." He walked away quickly, ignoring her cries from behind him, ignoring the breaking of his heart with every step he took.

This was it, he thought. He finally closed the chapter in the story that he had been longing to finish, longing to bring a happy ending to. He did get one part: the ending, though it wasn't how he wanted it to go. He did it for her, did it for her happiness. How could he promise that he wouldn't freak out again and leave her again? How could he promise her happiness when he didn't know how he'd see himself a few years from now?

That was it. He was meant to be a bachelor for the rest of his life. The one who had the relationships but never kept them. Love them, then leave them. That's what his motto should have been.

But he loved her. He did leave her. And he knew it was the worst mistake in his entire life.

But this was it. There was a man not even two hundred yards away in that arena who was willing to give her what she wanted, give her something that he ran away from.

"Let him," he said softly to himself as he pulled open his bus door, closing and locking it behind him, wanting to be alone. "Let him love her. He'd probably do better than I could."

She slammed open her hotel room door, throwing her purse across the room, hearing it slam up against the wall in a hollow thunk. Shoes soon following, she threw them as hard as she could, they also going up against the wall. With a hand up in the air, holding her cell phone, she felt a hand close around her wrist, stopping her.

"What the hell are you on, woman?" AJ lowered her hand, eyes burning into hers. "Babygirl, what's wrong?"

His concerned tone brought out the quivering lip, the watering eyes as she weakened against him, hands going to her face. "Alex ..."

"Audrina," he said softly, coaxing her to sit down on the couch in the living room, he kneeling in front of her and gripping her knees as he watched her cry, unsure of how to take her sudden run of emotions. "Babe, please, what's going on? What are you so angry about?" He reached up, prying her hands away from her face, heart breaking with how hard she was crying, body visibly shaking. "Talk to me, honey."

"I can't," she said, holding her breath to try and calm herself, "I can't talk to you, I can't talk to anyone!"

"You can talk to me about anything, Audrina. Anything. So come on, out with it." He gripped her hands, forcing her to look at him. "I'm waiting!" He gave her a small smile, trying to get her to calm, to crack a smile. "Talk to Jay, baby. Talk to me."

"You're not going to get mad? You have to promise not to get mad at me, promise not to blow up and hate me -"

"I could never hate you, Drina." He paused, looking at her. "Is this about JC?"

She brought her eyes up to his from looking at their interlocked hands, biting her lip. "And you."

"And me," he said softly, inhaling. "Okay, so ... what about?"

"I'm in love with two people ... I can't choose, I can't pick who I want to be with because you both make me so happy and have been there for me when I needed you and -"

"Whoa, girl, run on sentences much?" He tried to crack a joke, it falling flat as he sighed deeply, running a hand through his hair. "Okay, let me get this straight: you love me?"

She nodded.

"... And you love him."

Again, nodding.

"You don't want to choose?"

"No. I can't."

"Who do you love more, Audrina," he asked softly, eyes studying her. "Who does your heart want?"

She sat there, getting up and flailing her arms above her head. "I don't know! I thought I knew and I just ... I just don't know!"

"All right, all right, baby," he got up, quieting her shrieks as he held her arms, running his hands up and down soothingly as she sobbed, he having a heavy feeling in his heart that in actuality, he ... she knew who she'd choose. They both knew. "Let's ... let's play a game I learned."

"I don't want to play a game, Alex," she said, irritated, "I don't want to do much of anything right now."

"No, this isn't really a game, game," he stated, tipping her chin up so that she'd look at him, "it's a game for the heart. A game to help you realize what you don't. And as much as I don't want to admit it, I know where this will go."

"AJ -"

"Just, trust me." He led her back to the couch, sitting her down and sitting down on the coffee table in front of her. "All right, are you ready?"

She sighed deeply, nodding. "Yeah, I guess ..."

"Close your eyes."

"AJ -"

"Just close your eyes, Audrina."

Sighing once more in annoyance, she wiped her eyes rid of the tears that were still falling, sniffling as she shut her eyes tightly, listening to him and trying to stop her tears. "All right, now what?"

"Ssh," he said, quieting her. "Just, keep your eyes closed. Take a deep breath." He watched as she frowned, inhaling deeply and holding it. "All right, release it. Take a few more deep breaths and release them. Calm yourself down and clear your mind."

"Alex ..."

"Just trust me, D. Trust me."

"Fine." She did as she was told, he seeing her slowly relax after the last few inhales. Lifting up her hand, he felt it become limp, smirking. It had worked. So far.

"All right. Now, imagine yourself in the quiet of your room, lying in bed moments before falling asleep. You're all comfy, cozy in your down comforter, buried beneath all the blankets you have, dressed in your favorite pajama pants and tank top. You just had an amazing day and you're completely wiped out. You close your eyes and let sleep take you in and the silence invades your senses." He released her hands, standing up and away from her, wanting to rid her of the sense that he was right there, wanted her to feel as if she were alone. "Imagine you wake up the next morning completely rejuvenated and you smell your favorite breakfast: chocolate chip pancakes being made downstairs. You grab your favorite fleece blanket, that worn out gray one that looks more like a sock than anything else, wrapping it around your shoulders as you walk down the stairs with a smile on your face, walking through the small foyer and into the kitchen, and standing there, inhaling the pancakes, you notice no one is in the kitchen, just a plate of your favorites and you. You take a plate, putting the large pile on yours as you always do and smile when you feel arms wrap around your waist, lips pressing to your sweet spot on your neck. He whispers a good morning and you turn to give him a kiss."

He quieted, seeing her calm features, knowing that this moment would be the moment that would break her. This moment would make or break the two of them. Inhaling a shaky breath, he continued, preparing himself for the already known. "Who is the man, Audrina?"

Her features, once relaxed, suddenly tensed and he saw her swallow hard. A tear slipped through her eyelid, tongue slowly licking her lips as she opened her eyes, meeting his sad gaze. He had been defeated.

"Alex," she said softly, jaw trembling, "I'm so sorry ..."

"What for," he asked, sniffling as he fought back his own angry tears. He knew that he wasn't what she wanted. At least, not fully. He did have a special place in her heart, he knew that much, but he didn't have her heart. The man down the hall in his own suite did. Clueless, naive JC. "You can't stop what your heart feels. You can't help who you love, D. I'm just glad I got to be loved by you for as long as I did. He doesn't know how lucky he is to have you, Audrina; how much of a blessing you have been to me. He doesn't know how amazing you are, how amazing it is to be loved by you."

Tears began falling down her face as he stepped towards her, wrapping his arms around her shoulders and pulling her against him. Placing a kiss to her lips gently, he pulled away, holding her face in his hands. "I'm just sorry that it took me eight years to finally admit to you that I loved you. Maybe it would have been different." He smiled slightly as she nodded, eyes fluttering shut as he kissed her forehead, chuckling against him and hitting him gently with her fist.

"That wasn't a very fun game," she murmured against him, he laughing at the bittersweet moment they were having. "Alex, I do love you. God knows I do ..."

"I know you do," he said softly, releasing her from his hold as he reached up, wiping the tears from her face, "just not the way I want it."

She sighed deeply, watching as he picked up his belongings, setting them by the door as he called room service, asking for a bellhop to help bring his stuff down to the lobby. "Alex -"

"You're still one of my best friends, D," he said, giving her a warm smile. "I just ... I can't be around here right now. I hope you understand that. I need to go home, get myself together and face the world as a single man again. It isn't every day that your best friend gives back your heart because she can't give you hers when it's in the hands of someone else. I never thought I'd say this, but I will: JC is perfect for you, Audrina; he always has been. I saw the pictures, and soon the whole world will see what we all see. Soon, he'll see you like he did before."

She opened her mouth to speak, he shaking his head as he crossed the room, placing a kiss to her temple as a tear fell down his cheek. Within the few silent moments they had, he picked up his belongings and exited the room, closing it quietly behind him.

She masked a sob behind her hand, sinking down onto the bed as she reached for her cell phone, dialing the familiar numbers of her best friend. "Drea? Can you come back to the hotel from the club, please? I need you ..."



He was stepping out of the bathroom with a towel over his shoulder, hair still damp when he heard a knock on the door. Pulling his towel away from his waist that covered his body, he pulled on a pair of pajama bottoms, tossing both the towel that he had on and the one that was covering him back into the bathroom, reaching for the door to his room.

"AJ?" He asked, confused. A memory flashed in his mind when Aundrea came in with the same look on her face as AJ had and he prepared himself for a punch square in the face. Aundrea packed a punch for a little Latino, he could only imagine what AJ's latino punch would be.

It never came.

"JC, I need to talk to you," he said softly, watching the older man's eyes etch in confusion. "It's about D."

"I really don't want to talk about her, J," JC said, shaking his head. "I don't really want to be a part of your relationship problems, I'm sorry -"

"This isn't about our broken relationship," AJ said, JC stepping away from the door in confusion as AJ stepped in, JC suddenly taking in the luggage behind him. "This is about the two of you."

"There isn't an us."

"Don't hurt her, JC," AJ said softly. "God knows why she still loves you with what went down between you guys back then, but she still does. We all know I was more than willing to give her the life she had wanted for so long, but she didn't want it from me. She wanted to be with you or nothing at all. She doesn't care about why you left anymore, man; I can see it on her face."

"AJ, I'm not going after her anymore. I'm not in the running to be with her. I don't want to be with her. There was enough hurt caused between us that it's really fucked up whatever we had. She deserves better, she deserves you. I can't give her what she wants, I can't give her anything. I'm not meant to be with her. It isn't fair for either of us."

AJ sighed deeply, seeing the man in front of him older than he remembered. "Just, think about it, all right?"

"I can't promise you anything. I can't promise myself anything, so what makes you think I can do anything about it?"

"You are as stubborn as she said you were," AJ said, chuckling slightly. "Look ... I have to go. The bellhop took most of my stuff down to the lobby. I've got a cab waiting for me and I'm going to the airport -"

"Wait ... what?"

"We're done, JC. She doesn't love me like she loves you. If you weren't so dense, you would have seen that a mile away."

He sighed deeply. "I may have seen it, but I'm going in the opposite direction."