"Hey, Brian, it's nice to see you again, man." His hand stretched out, slapping against the slightly older man's hand, they shaking in a friendly gesture. "Congratulations on Millennium and it's sales. I heard it is amazing."
A thankful smile came from the other man's mouth, he nodding. "You too, man, you too; heard a bit of yours. Liked it."
"Yeah, Joey was actually singing one of your songs the other day," JC chuckled, "it's really catchy. I can understand how it got to be number one for so long."
Brian beamed, both men turning and watching as a girl, petite, about 5'3", maybe an inch or so taller or shorter, approached, a broad smile on her face. "Hey, Rine."
"Kevin sent me looking for you. Said they're waiting for the interview now."
Brian nodded, slightly taken aback and forgetting about the other presence beside him. "JC, this is my baby sister, Audrina. Drine, this is JC Chasez."
He contained the laugh that was boiling in his belly as she thrust her hand out to shake his, sliding his into it. She was beautiful; definitely a Littrell. Her hair had been tied up, pinned and being held back away from her face by a headband, strawberry waves disappearing underneath the band and into the twist. She was small, built a lot like Britney to him, though he was sure Britney had a little more tone than her (at least, at the moment) and dressed in a lilac gown. "It's nice to meet you," he said, feeling his stomach lurch with nervousness at her touch and gaze. This was different. "What brings you to the Grammy's?"
"I'm Nick's date," she chuckled, glancing back at the blond who was now speaking to Howie, they both fidgeting nervously. "That, and supporting my brother, of course."
He nodded. "Yes, definitely."
"We better go," Brian said, putting his hand to his sister's back to lead her away, "it was good to see you again, JC."
"You too, Brian. And it was nice to meet you, Audrina!"
"You too, JC," she smiled, turning her head and locking a gaze with him that made his heart skip several beats. When she turned her head back to face the others, he turned, looking at Justin who had an amused look on his face.
"What?" He felt his face redden, though he acted innocent, trying to scratch at his cheeks to hide the sudden change in color."
"What? Man, you got the hots for a Backstreet sister!"
"I do not," he mumbled, Justin clapping him on the back as they walked in the opposite direction, he turning to glance back, smiling when he saw her looking his way. "Okay, so maybe I do ..."
"I knew you would. You aren't the first guy to fall for the Littrell."
"Huh?" He stopped, looking at Justin in curiosity. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Dude, she doesn't date. Brian's got a watch on every guy who's ever approached her."
He shook his head. "Nuh-uh, not me, man. I'll get the girl. Watch me."
Justin shook his head in disbelief. "All right, dude. Whatever you say."
"Watch me, Justin. Bet me."
"You and those bets. I'm not betting you just because you think you can get an untouchable."
"I can get her."
Justin grinned, patting him on the back once more. "You just keep telling yourself that."
"I will."
He awoke in a daze, the familiarity of home comforting him as he lie back down in his bed, staring up at the ceiling. It had been a rough few hours for him, especially after he made quick trip to the store and found a photo of Audrina and AJ gracing the front page of Us Weekly with the title calling out, Their NEW Romance! How it started! Behind their friendship! PLUS! How he helped her get over ex-lover JC Chasez! It taunted him. Taunted him so much that he bought it, intending to burn it. Burn it and perhaps put voodoo on any reporter who decided to try and make it harder on him than it already was.
But did he burn it? No. It was sitting in his lap when he fell asleep and was now nestled between his hand and blanket. Even in the moonlight, he could see the photo of AJ and Audrina, dated around the time she was in Osaka, her hands resting on his chest as he kissed her, she smiling against his lips and looking up at him.
From his understanding, they had been together for about two months at that time. It was fast approaching August, fast approaching his 32nd birthday, one day he was dreading, as usual and closing in on when she'd bring out a full-fledged tour for the entire world instead of gallavanting across Europe for press, radio interviews and small concerts here and there. Though, he knew, those were the most tiring, the most demanding. She was by herself most of the time, for the shows she actually performed, she went it alone or had an unsigned band opening for her, though he was supposed to be going with her.
He was also supposed to be co-lining the world tour with her.
When he told Johnny and the rest of their management that he was withdrawing from the upcoming tour, it would have been a lie to say that they were understanding. For weeks, Johnny threatened to do things, management threatened to back out of his new album's deal, leaving him to release it on his own expenses, but, after a long argument with Johnny a day or two before Audrina's blow-up, they caved. They agreed he should be working on his album and not helping promote something that wasn't his.
And then Audrina began dating AJ.
It almost made him want to take back what he said and go on tour. Almost.
He was jealous. Desperately jealous. But he knew that he couldn't hold her back from happiness because he wasn't it. At least, that's what he kept telling himself as he lie back down in bed, closing his eyes and letting sleep take over once more. Things had to get better. They just had to.
She let out a girly giggle as his hands led her behind the bus, grinning wildly as he pushed her against the side, letting his hands rest on either side of her head. "I can't believe you," she laughed once more as the grin stayed on her face, glued on as she studied his face, the greens of her eyes lighter than he remembered them being. "I can't believe you asked him for permission to date me!"
Shrugging as a menacing smile formed on his lips, he dipped his head, placing a warm and gentle kiss to her lips. "God knows I had to get through the brother to get to the good stuff."
"Good stuff, huh? Is that what I am?"
"Good stuff, hot stuff, full of stuff ..."
She rolled her eyes, the smile still there as the greens of her eyes deepened, reaching forward and bunching his shirt in her hands. "Well, I am not a pansy and I don't ask permission." She pulled him closer to her body, pressing her mouth against his as he laughed, letting his hands drop from the side of the bus and onto her face. She stood on tiptoe as she wrapped her arms around his neck, unable to get close enough to him as she melted against him, he pulling away and looking at her. "What?"
"Justin said I'd never get you," he said, "damnit, I wish he had agreed on betting me that I could ..."
"You bet on me?"
"Only if I could actually get you to date me."
"Whoa," she laughed, stepping away from him as her eyes twinkled, "who said I was dating you? I thought we were just making out?"
"Ha, ha," he mumbled, smiling slightly as she gave him a matching smirk, stepping away from him as he grabbed her hand, tugging her to his chest once more as she cried out, laughing when he buried his face against her neck. "It took me three months to get you, I'm not going to give you up that easily."
"You better not, Chasez," she said softly, voice murmuring against his skin and vibrating the sensitive spot below his ear, "because I'm worth chasing after. I'm a keeper."
"Or so your mom says."
"Yeah, ha, ha," she laughed, playfully gnawing at his skin as he squirmed. "You're just lucky it's nearing one in the morning and no one knows we're out here."
"Why? Curfew?"
"No. Overprotective brother who would basically behead you and then hang the remains as a wall decorative."
He grinned. "Point taken. A few more minutes?"
"I don't think a few minutes is going to suffice kissing you."
"I am a damn good kisser, aren't I?"
She rolled her eyes. "Maybe I should get Brian to reconsider ..."
"Oh, hell no," he laughed, jogging to catch up to her retreating form, grabbing her by the waist and tickling her, free hand sliding down to hers and lacing his fingers in the empty spaces of hers. "Reconsider and I'll spend another three months trying to get you to re, reconsider."
"Yeah, I'm worth that much."
"More than that," he grinned against her skin, standing behind her and rocking back and forth as her hands wrapped around her body, touching his skin gently. "Much more."
"Then promise me you won't give up easily on me if I run scared."
He nodded against her cheek. "I promise."
"Good."
This time, his waking up was sudden, breathing shallowly. He pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes, willing the tears to go away as he shifted, the magazine crinkling against his side from his moving in his sleep. Opening his eyes quickly, heart racing and blood boiling, he reached between he and the mattress, yanking the magazine from beneath him and yelling in rage, hands going to either side of the magazine and tearing it in half, throwing it across the room as it crashed against the wall in a hollow thunk.
He promised to never give up on her. He promised he would stay by her side through it all. And yet, here he was, alone and not even on speaking terms with her. She had someone else standing beside her, holding her hand and making sure she was okay.
And it hurt. That was his job. He was supposed to make sure she was okay, that she would never hurt. But he betrayed that; he betrayed her. He stopped caring about love, stopped making sure she wasn't hurt when he walked out that door and ran out on her. He lost every right to be angry when he left her.
But had he lost his love?
It was a definite no. God, no. He knew it, she knew it, and he knew the rest of the world did, too. One day, maybe he'd prove it to her. One day, he'd prove that he was the only one for her. That no one else in this world was meant for her like he was. That no one in this world deserved her. That he did, regardless of his past mistakes. He'd spend his life making it up to her if he could.
If she would let him.
But she was happy. She finally began dating someone who treated her right. She finally had someone who wasn't afraid of what the future could bring for the two of them. This someone had been one of her closest friends and her brother's best friend.
He didn't want to suddenly show up and make her unhappy again; that'd be the last thing he'd want to do to her. One day, when the timing was right, he'd prove it to her. He'd prove that he'd be there through everything; that he'd be the only person she'd want to see the rest of her life. That he did love her and he did want a family. That she was the reason.
Timing was everything.
She sat in the waiting room of the doctor's office, eyes settled on the American magazine in front of her. She had begun having pains in her stomach, and Johnny refused to chance anything, sending her to the doctor for a check-up. She thought he was being slightly overprotective, jumping then she stubbed a toe, he felt he was being cautious.
"Anything could be dangerous for you, Audrina. You know it." He had said.
She hated that. She wasn't fragile, she wouldn't break over an upset stomach.
Their NEW Romance! How it started! Behind their friendship! PLUS! How he helped her get over ex-lover JC Chasez!
The *NEW* hot couple of Hollywood, Audrina Littrell and AJ McLean have made their rounds into every fan's heart, their story one that most can relate to: Boy meets girl, boy gains friend; watches girl get hurt by another man and becomes all that the girl had been looking for, never looking right under her nose.
"That's really how it started," a source claims. "He stepped back when JC came into the picture because he knew that though they were friends, JC offered her something that AJ couldn't: something different. She had been around him for so long that things seemed to just be repetitive. She was young, she wanted excitement, change. JC had that. He was the older man who had more experience but so much love for her that she was blinding by the failing future that they all knew would come. AJ had stepped aside and let her do what she needed to do, but when the time came, he was there when she needed him most."
Several stories have circulated that McLean actually admitted his being in love with Littrell on the night of the last blow-up between she and Chasez. "Basically, he just told her he had been in love with her from the start but tried to get over her when she got with JC. It worked for a while, but after they broke up, he realized that she was the reason why he couldn't keep relationships: he wanted her, no one else."
McLean and Littrell have known each other since Littrell was only about thirteen and he was fifteen. From the start, she was always intrigued by the one who liked to bend and more or less break the rules, the one who wasn't afraid of anything. She was quiet, only resorting to making herself heard when she sang. When she was signed to JIVE, he wasn't surprised at all. he loves her voice, he loves her. She's been the one solid thing in his life for a long, long time. It's refreshing to see him with someone who actually has a good head on her shoulders."
"Littrell?"
She got up, sighing deeply. She hated doctors. She hated going to the doctors, especially alone. The last time she went, it was for a check-up a few weeks after her hospital visit. Now, she was going for an upset stomach.
She really hated Johnny.
She was handed a paper gown, standing dumbfounded in the middle of the examination room. A check-up, not a physical was in order. A few questions, a few presses to the stomach would be just fine. Not, "strip down and put the open ends to the back so the doctor has better access".
She sat down then, tugging on the paper gown on her body and pulling out her phone from her purse, smiling as she saw a text message from AJ.
Hey beautiful.
How are you feeling today?
Stomach feeling any better?
Hope you're going to the doctor's
to get it checked out. May be the
flu?
I miss you.
She jutted out her lip, memories of getting messages from JC similar going through her mind as she sighed deeply, responding.
Heya handsome :)
I'm feeling all right, tummy still
hurts a bit, but it's better than before.
Johnny was still a bitch about it and sent
me to some clinic in the middle of
... well, East of Bumfuck.
So, here I am ... sitting in East of Bumfuck
waiting on a doctor to tell me that it's just
something I ate here that didn't agree with
me. Repeat of last time I was here. Won't
be surprised.
I miss you, too. When do we see each
other again?
She didn't know what was wrong with her. She had a nagging feeling that had been floating above her head for the last few days that kept telling her to at least acknowledge JC again, to apologize and let him know she still worried and cared for him. Johnny had told her that he was pretty much to himself since the tour ended and had only written with writers a few times and had gone in once to record, it being the worst production time that he had ever witnessed.
She was worried about him.
But, she was moving on. She was happy. AJ treated her well, always made her smile. Of course, they were two completely different men so it was two completely different means of happy, but she was happy. He made her feel loved, wanted. He never hesitated to call to say he was thinking about her, never thought twice about making sure she knew he cared about her.
And then, JC. The more quiet one unless they were alone. A simple brush to her cheek, a simple look always told her how he felt. He didn't like to make his feelings out in public, would have rather done something of the extreme in private so that all the focus was just on the two of them. He told her he had loved her daily and every night before they went to sleep.
AJ was similar in the beliefs that not everyone had to see how they felt about each other in the sickening way that a lot of people did. They held hands, they'd kiss, but it wasn't anything to turn heads. Most times, when their photos graced the cover of a tabloid, it was in the midst of a peck on the lips, much like the cover that was on the magazine she had been reading in the waiting room, where he was in the middle of teasing her, kissing her to silence her giggles; or a photo of her body tucked into his as he held her. Nothing racy ever had made the press with the two of them. It never would.
Well, that's good that you feel better,
but I'm with Johnny on this one. Just
a precaution to make sure it isn't something
more serious. E. of Bumfuck, huh? Sounds
like a kinky place. Tell me the doctor's last
name is Wang and I'll forever be in your debt.
It's been a long day and all I want to do is crawl
in bed and hear your voice.
Two weeks. Melbourne in two weeks and then the
Boys' and I have got about six more concerts before
I can meet up with you and we can be together.
Finally.
Call me later when the doctor tells you what's up, all
right? I have to go to a radio interview.
Love you, babe.
"Hello, Audrina," he said as he pulled up a stool, looking down at the folder in his hands. "What seems to be wrong today?"
He asked it as if she were some hypochondriac and all she did was spend the entire day, every day, in the doctor's office. "I've been having stomach pains. Sharp ones that my manager thought I should have checked out."
"Well, it could just be a stomach virus of some sort," he said as she nodded, agreeing. "Chart here says you were here last time for the same thing and that it ended up being the food just not agreeing with you?"
"That's what I told Johnny what it was, but he doesn't listen."
"There are good reasons for that," he smiled. "Let's listen to your heart and check out your stomach, see if I can find anything."
She nodded, laying back as he stood, putting the stethescope buds into his ears as he stepped forward, blowing gently on the scope itself to warm it slightly, placing it to her chest and listening intently. She breathed slowly, the doctor instructing her to breathe in and out deeply. She saw the look of concern wash over his eyes, stomach dropping just as quick as his face changed expression again, focusing on her belly, pressing gently and then slightly harder, she cringing at it. "Dr. Fu -"
"It is definitely a disagreement with our food," he chuckled, writing on his clipboard. "I'm going to go get a prescription written for you and I'll be back, all right?"
She nodded. "Is my heart rate okay? Everything with my heart?"
He shut the door before she could get an answer. That could never be good.
The doctor's last name was Fu. Not even close to Wang.
Sad. :( Quick check up, he told me it was what I was eating.
You guys need to learn to trust me and my knowledge of
my body. I know it better than anyone.
She was growing antsy. For a check-up that lasted a little more than five minutes, he had already been gone double that by the time she had finished a game of Tetris on her phone and checked her personal e-mail. AJ messaged her again, she chuckling when he responded back.
Well, Fu is close to a swear word that could deal with Wang.
And yes, I'm aware I've got a dirty mind, Miss Thang.
I'm glad you're all right. He say your heart was okay?
Rate, pumping and everything? I know he can hear the
swishing with that stetho-thing.
He seriously was still not there.
You are dirty. But, I guess that's more the reason to find
a laugh with you. He didn't say anything about my heart,
so I'm assuming it's all right. And it's 'stethoscope'.
I wish I didn't know it's name, but it's all too familiar to me.
Turn into Father Time and make the two weeks go fast and I
can have your glorious company with me again.
The room was cold as she decided to get up, changing out of the paper gown and discarding it, quickly pulling on her bra and t-shirt, standing up and studying the picture of the development of the fetus, jumping once more as the door opened.
"You changed?"
She nodded, pointing back to where he had left, "I thought we were done so I assumed -"
"It's okay, but I would like to listen to your heart again, Miss Littrell."
She felt her heart race, now noticing the man standing behind him. This couldn't be good.
"But I -"
"Please."
It was more of a demand than a question, she turning to sit back down on the examination table and pulling her shirt back off, not even caring about her modesty at the moment. She was beginning to get scared, sitting alone in a doctor's office with 'her' doctor and suddenly, another one came in.
Dr. Fu stepped up to her, pressing the cold stethoscope to her skin as she jumped with the temperature, he apologizing quietly and saying something in Japanese as the man stepped up with his own scope. "This is Dr. Yuang. He's a resident in the cardiology department at our hospital."
Oh, this wasn't good at all.
He stood, eye-level with her breast as he listened, making slight "hmm" sounds as he turned his head once and nodded. His attention went back to her, speaking in Japanese as Dr. Fu instructed her to inhale and exhale slowly, Dr. Yuang pulling away at the end of her exhale and speaking once more to his collegue. Within moments, he was gone and Dr. Fu was left, standing there with a concerned look on his face.
"What's going on," she asked softly, pulling her shirt on and eyeing him, phone vibrating next to her. "Why did he come in? Why is there a cardiologist checking on me?"
"It seems that there is more swishing in there than I would like," he said, "and I called upon him to see if my assumptions are right. Have you been having a lot of palpitations lately? A lot of shortness of breath?"
"I was, but it seemed to have gone away." She was still confused. "... Dr. Fu -"
"I need you to go down to the Cardiology department at the hospital and get another ECHO, Audrina. This could be very dangerous. I have reason to believe that you have a Ventricular Septal Defect, which is -"
"I know what it is," she said softly, "my brother Brian has it."
"Then you know how important it is to get this checked."
"But they said mine wasn't as serious."
"We won't know until we get an ECHO," he said, tapping his pen to the paper. "Please, as soon as you can get down there, I recommend as soon as you leave here, go. I will call and let them know to look for you today or in the days to come. This needs to be checked. Can you be there today?"
She slid off the table, hands shaking as she gripped her phone, nodding. "I'll - I'll go as soon as I leave."
"Good." He followed her out as she got into the car, closing the door and looking at the driver, he waiting for instruction. "Down the street to the hospital." When he looked at her with confusion, she added, "they want me to pick up my files that were faxed just so I have them if I should ever need to come back."
He nodded, she reaching forward and pushing the button for the privacy window, swiping at tears as it slid shut. It was more serious than she had originally thought. She knew it was. She had been slightly misdiagnosed and now, now, it may lead to her getting the same exact surgery that Brian had.
Like hell she'd let them cut her open.
She looked down at her phone, trying to keep more tears at bay as she struggled to read what AJ had wrote.
I wish I could be, because I want to be there
with you, too. But, as long as I know you're
okay, I can live with a few more days without
seeing you, because I don't have to be anxious
and worry about you, like I usually do. So you're
in the clear? Nothing wrong? You and I will meet
up and you'll be all healthy enough for me to ravage?
She couldn't help but smile weakly at his last remark, shaking her head. Only he would write something like that to bring the smile to her face. Or, at that moment, a partial one.
Argh, why couldn't you be magical or something?
Turn all Abracadabra and fast forward time or
turn all Charmed on me and find the person in
charge of time. It'd be really nice to have you here
with me. And no, nothing wrong. Perfect bill of health.
Other than the already known. Regardless of health, I'd
let you ravage me. But don't be saying that outloud, it might
ruin my good girl image ... hehe, just kidding. And stop worrying.
I'm fine. As fine as I'll ever be.
Turning the phone off, she set it next to herself and put her face in her hands, masking the sob that escaped her throat. She couldn't let him know that something could be seriously wrong; she couldn't let Brian know, either. She couldn't let them worry, she wouldn't. They had too much on their plates as it was, no need to make it more crowded with her own problems. She had to keep it to herself. Make sure that they never found out. If she kept it from them, it was less harm, less worry. She would be able to move on from this without being hovered on. She'd be able to move on without worrying about it.
Once the car slowed to a stop, she gathered herself, pushing the button to open the window. "I shouldn't be too long, Jax. Go out to lunch or something. I'll call the car phone when I'm finished."
"Sure," he nodded. "You'll be all right here by yourself?"
"I'm in the middle of a hospital," she chuckled, giving him an uneasy smile. "I'll be fine. I'll call if I'm not."
The phone is ringing, it's Audrina. She's not fine.
She shook her head of the thoughts, getting out of the car and closing it, stepping into the main doors and looking for the Cardiac Unit, closing her eyes and inhaling slowly. She had lied to AJ. But it was the right thing. She'd be fine and she wouldn't have to worry about the lie because then, it wouldn't be a lie. Then, it'd be the truth and she could just go on with her Stenosis and not have to worry about holes, heart attacks or heart failure. She'd take the palpitations over those any day.
But deep down, she knew she wouldn't be so lucky. Deep down, all she wanted, was her brother to be there, holding her hand.
But she wasn't going to tell him. She wasn't going to worry him more than he already was about her health. This was her fight, and she'd fight it all by herself for as long as she could without them finding out. She prayed she'd be able to, prayed she'd be able to withstand all the punches that she knew it would throw at her; prayed that it wouldn't knock her out before they knew.
Prayed she would never have to tell.
