"Hey, birthday girl, you in there?"

Audrina looked up from her spot in front of the make-up counter, hands firmly planted on the porcelain of the sink. The familiar voice brought a smile to her face as she reached up, quickly wiping off the tears and walking quickly towards the door. Pulling it open, she was met with a pair of almost matching green eyes. "Kevin!" She literally lunged at him, wrapping her arms around his neck as he squeezed her tightly. "What are you doing here? Where's Mason? Kristin?"

"At home," he chuckled, hand smoothing up and down her back as he hugged her. "Thought I'd come down and visit you for your birthday." He pulled away, studying her face. "You okay?"

She sniffled slightly, swiping at the dry tears on her cheeks. "I am, now that you're here." She grabbed his wrist, pulling him into the room as she shut the door. "How's my baby boy?"

"Getting big," he smiled, "such a ham."

"It must be in the Richardson genes then," she noted, sitting down and stretching her arms, "Brian's the exact same way."

"Once upon a time, you used to be, too," Kevin replied, sitting down next to her and studying her face. "What's got you down today? It's your birthday, you're supposed to be happy, celebrating it."

"I was celebrating it this afternoon," she said softly, shrugging as her door opened, make-up and wardrobe coming in. "And then I realized that almost everyone forgot my birthday and it just started to suck."

"Something happen between you and Chasez again?"

She got up, walking towards the counter and sitting down on the stool as they began to work on her hair and make-up for the show. Meeting his eyes in the mirror, she felt tears begin to well up once more. "No."

"If I don't know a liar when I see one, then I'd be blind," he stated, chuckling slightly, "what happened this time?"

She sighed, looking from her make-up assistant to the hair stylist and finally back to him. "Everything. That's what happened. We went to get ice cream, we had a great time and it was just that."

"And you're upset about it?"

"Well, no -"

"So what are you upset about? That he didn't fall at your feet? That you didn't tell him you still love him?"

"No," she mumbled, closing her eyes and letting the woman put eyeshadow and eyeliner on her eyes. "Nothing like that."

"Then, enlighten me, Rine."

"He kissed me."

Kevin was quiet for a moment, he leaning back into the couch with a perplexed look. "And that's why you're upset?"

She cringed as a hair was pulled as they straightened it and slicked it back into a high ponytail for her first half of the show, she disappearing into the bathroom and changing quickly, she coming out a few moments later as she eyed her cousin. "That he kissed me? No. I am upset because when he kissed me I realized just how defenseless I am against him and I couldn't bring myself to get hurt again by him."

"Some people deserve second chances, Audrina -"

"He walked out on me, Kevin. Not the other way around. He left because he didn't want to get married. He left because he wasn't ready for something like that."

"Right. He left because of that. Not because he didn't love you. So he still loves you. You love him. Get it done and over with and just hook back up already. You two are like those stupid clicking balls that teachers have on their desks: constantly colliding and then going the other way."

"And?"

"And I walked away from the kiss. I walked away from it because I knew the outcome."

"How could you know the outcome when you wouldn't even let things pan out? That kiss could have been the kiss that brought you two back together. That could have been the one thing you've been waiting on for the last two years."

"It was what I was waiting on for the last two years, Kevin! But I know him; I know what he'd do. He doesn't want to get married -"

"He didn't want to get married back then," Kevin corrected, "who's to say he doesn't want to now?"

She played with the hem of her tanktop, shrugging slowly. "I don't know."


He stood on the stage with a broad grin on his face. So that was why they had such a long lunch! In the middle of the set, the band got up and disappeared, leaving a clueless Audrina, who stood helplessly, unsure of what to do as she spoke to the audience. Johnny had grabbed him by the elbow, pulling him on stage as Brian, Aubrey and Aundrea came in from the other wing, wheeling in a large cake with candles on it and large smiles on their faces. Behind Brian was Kevin Richardson, their cousin, who was holding a frame against him. Ater a very loud, very crowd-participated 'Happy Birthday' serenade, she blew out the candles and was surprised with a platinum album frame, she literally scream and diving into her brother's arms, bawling hysterically as the screams around her deafened everyone on stage, though they didn't care.

And then she hugged him.

It came quickly, followed right after Johnny. Her eyes had met his, a sad smile on her face as she wrapped her arms around his neck, his eyes meeting Kevin's from across the stage, the shock dissipating as he closed his eyes, wrapping his arms around the small of her back and hugging her tightly. "Thank you for being a part of this," she said softly, squeezing his neck once more before pulled away and meeting his eyes for a quick few seconds, turning her head and facing the crowd, pumping a fist in the air in excitement. "Thank you guys!"

And yet, the moment she left the stage, her demeanor towards him changed. She ignored him, wrapping a towel around her neck as she drank from her water bottle, following Brian down towards her dressing room, he sighing deeply as he headed towards his.

Thoughts of the kiss ran through his mind; the way her mouth was warm against his, molded perfectly and moved like a dance with his was amazing. He missed the feel of her mouth, of her body against his; how he'd casually skim his hands up her body to grip her shoulders, her breasts, but mentally, he was making a memory of how her body felt beneath his fingers, the curve of her hip, slight inward lining of her waist and the swell of her breasts ... he was memorizing it.

And it was the same when she had hugged him earlier. When he wrapped his arms around her, he imagined his body tracing lazy circles into the small of her naked back as she lie on her stomach, spent from the tryst they had beneath the sheets earlier. He imagined the numerous times they shared a shower, intimate as they just held each other underneath the warm stream of water.

Those were the moments he loved most, especially after she got sick. Lying, standing, leaning ... any position he was in, he held her. Her skin was soft, hair fragranced by the apples of her shampoo. She'd usually drop a kiss or two at the nape of his neck, nipping gently at his tender skin as he'd smile into her hair, relishing in the fact that he had another day to hold her.

And then he freaked. He freaked and lost the one woman he loved with his all over a fear of being tied down.

He had lied when he said he didn't want marriage. True, he didn't want it then, but he did want it: with her. But instead of letting her know that, he left, leaving her a note saying she deserved better and would find a man who would want to marry her, treat her better than he could.

Two years later and she had yet to even date a man.

How stupid was he for hurting her like that? He never imagined in his wildest dreams, no, nightmares, hurting her. He wasn't sure of her reason as to why she didn't date, but he felt guilty. Had she lost faith in being happy? Had she just given up completely?

"Surprise, baby!"

He froze mid-door handle grab, turning his head slowly to meet the gaze of someone he didn't think would be around for a while. At least, he hoped. "Lu-Lucy?"

"What, you aren't surprised?" She jutted out a lip as he released the door handle, turning to look at her completely. "I took some personal time off so I could come spend time with you so you wouldn't have to spend time by yourself and that girl."

He arched an eyebrow. "That girl?"

"The one you're touring with," she replied, turning her nose up. "I don't see what you saw in her for six years ..."

He felt anger rise, shaking it away as he turned to open the door. "I don't know what she saw in me."



"Go talk to him. Go talk to him or I'll bring him to you."

She looked up at Aubrey who was sitting on the counter next to her standing body, she wiping off her make-up and looking at her friend incredulously. "Pardon?"

"You heard me," she smirked. "Seriously. He kissed you, Rina. He still wants you. He probably still loves you."

"I told him I couldn't do it," she said, meeting Aubrey's eyes and then Aundrea's, who was filing her nails on the couch. "That I couldn't be hurt anymore."

"Right, and prancing around the obvious isn't hurting you? Good Lord, Rina, I swear for the last two years, you've been miserable, but these last few weeks have been even more pathetic. The both of you are sulking around, trying to put on this fake happiness, and then when the two of you are in the same room, it's like, poof! everything is right in the world or poof! everything is wrong because the two of you aren't talking. You fucking love him, Rine, don't you? Go tell him."

"I can't ..."

"You said yourself you'd put off marriage if it meant being with him," Aundrea said from behind her, "so go tell him that. Tell him how he's the sun, he's the stars, he's the moon, he's the rain -"

"Stop quoting that song, damnit."

"Tell him you love his lips, love his eyes -" Aubrey grinned, "he drives you insane."

"You both can go to hell," she mumbled, putting her make-up remover on the table and patting her face dry. "He isn't mine. He's with Lucy."

"You're right, he's everything but yours."

"I really do hate you."

Aubrey grinned. "Go make him yours. Make him remember why you spent six years together. Make him remember why he loved you so much. Tell him you love him. Tell him you want to do things to his body that you did so long ago. That you want to ravage his chest and rip his clothes off and just ride him -"

"Aubrey!"

"Okay, am I the only one who knows the sexual tension between them?"

"Oh, I see it," Aundrea said, raising her hand and shaking her head. "Seriously. Tell him you want to fuck his brains out."

"Drea!" Audrina turned to look at her more quiet friend, surprised at her comment. "I can't believe you just said that."

"Well, either you tell him," Aundrea said, pulling out her phone, "or I call him and say that you passed out and we need him down here now."

"You wouldn't."

"Watch me." Aundrea picked up the phone, hitting the familiar digits and putting it to her ear as Audrina ran to her, hitting the end button before she could connect the call. "You're going then?"

Audrina sighed deeply. "Fine."

"Good. Now let's make you look bangable."

"Guys -" She stopped, watching as Aubrey grabbed lipgloss and Aundrea tugged at her hair tie, running her hands through her hair. "Guys! He loved me in jeans and his t-shirt, I don't think I need to try and make myself look better ..."

"Right. Good idea." Aubrey jumped off of the counter, rummaging through Audrina's duffel bag. "Ah ha! I knew you kept this in here!"

Audrina turned around, eyes widening as Aubrey held up a light blue t-shirt with the words 'my mom says I'm a catch' on it. "I used to sleep in that when I spent the night at his house. It must have been packed in there when I was throwing t-shirts in there ..."

"Right. And I'm a boy."

She frowned. "All right, so, I keep it because it's soft and it reminds me of him." She caught the t-shirt as Aubrey tossed it to her, she walking into the bathroom and pulling it to her face, closing her eyes and inhaling deeply. Sometimes, it still smelled like him: a mixture of the cologne he wore and the earthly scent of him. He never once smelled bad, not even when he got off stage, though sometimes, he was close. At that moment, she smelled him so much that it felt as if she was putting her face into his chest, not just the shirt.

She remembered the day she saw him wear it. He had been at a charity event for the Challenge for the Children, he standing next to a dunk tank and laughing hysterically as Justin was sent quickly into water, just moments after his taunts to Cameron fell to deaf ears, the ball nailing the target. His head was thrown back, laughter ringing in her ears and bringing a smile to her face as she approached him. He had reached up to slap a high-five to Justin, shirt riding up and showing the thin line of his boxer-briefs, a hint of skin just above it. She saw the jeans hang low on his hips, saw the gleam in his eyes when he caught her checking him out. The shirt (and his body) were hers that night.

"C'mon, stop procrastinating!"

She pulled off her tank top, tugging the shirt over her head and pulling it down to her waist. Though it settled on his hips nicely, with his flat chest compared to her fuller one, the shirt rode above her jeans, showing a small hint of skin. "I feel ridiculous doing this ..."

"You'll get over it. Now, get out of there and go to him! Grab him by that hair at the back of his neck and just give it to him!"

"Aundrea!"

"Hey, I'm just saying what I know you're thinking!"

She groaned, stepping out of the bathroom as both girls looked her over. "What, what now?"

"No wonder he let you wear that shirt," Aubrey chuckled, "if I was a dude, I'd be jacking off right now."

"I seriously don't know why you two are my friends," she mumbled, both girls laughing and grabbing her hands, pushing her out the door. "I might disown you by the end of the night ..."

"We'll see you on the bus!"

She crossed her arms underneath her chest self-consciously, walking down the hall. Brian and Kevin both flew back home right after the show, only coming in to surprise her with the platinum award, Aundrea and Aubrey both staying for at least another week. Was she really doing this? Was she really going to face the one person, the one thing she was afraid of most? She wasn't afraid of him, but of the fact that he had hurt her and was able to do it again if she let him.

She stepped up to his door, suddenly very aware of just how close she was to what could be a new beginning or the end of something that had been waiting for a long time to do so. Suddenly, she wasn't so afraid; suddenly, all she wanted to do was grab him by the front of the shirt, pull him securely against her and kiss him like she had wanted to earlier that day. Kiss him with every ounce of pain she had the two eyars they were apart, that she thought about him finding happiness without her, that she hadn't found in the two years without him.

She put her fist to the door, knocking gently. Rustling came, soon followed by a very slow opening door. Her eyes widening at her greeter.

"Yes?"

Lucy. Lucy was here. "Is JC in there?"

Lucy rolled her eyes, leaning up against the doorframe, wearing his shirt and looking at her hands in a bored fashion. This was a bad idea. "He is, but he's indisposed as of right now."

"A-all right," she said softly, backing away. Her throat was tightening; she was going to cry soon. "Never mind then." She turned, walking slowly away and tugging at the hem of the shirt. "Such a stupid idea. Stupid, stupid, stupid ..."

"Rine, you okay? What's up?"

She heard his voice, pace speeding up. She needed to get to her dressing room, needed to get her things and lock herself in the bathroom of her bus. She needed to sleep the rest of her life away and forget about everything. Maybe her condition would give her a stroke and she'd forget about the life she had, forget about her heart breaking over and over again by the same man who she just kept giving it to. She'd forget how much she loved him, forget how much she wanted to be with him, regardless of all the bad stuff - because, in the end, the bad stuff was only miniscule to all the things he had done to make her happy. She wanted to forget his hugs, his kisses, his voice, their love-making. She wanted to forget how he'd say her name as he reached his climax, how he'd say her name in the morning to wake her up, how his mouth felt against the sweet spot on her neck, the only way he could get her to rise early in the morning for interviews. The way his hands would slide around her waist to catch her when they ran around his house in a silly game of some sort, his laughter ringing in her ears. How his fingers felt when they dug into her skin to tickle her, to get her attention; how his fingers fit in the spaces between hers and tugged her to him -

Just as he did at that moment.

"Talk to me, Rina."

She tried to desperately pull her hand out of his, fighting back an irritated sob escaping out of her mouth as she reached for the door of her dressing room, frantically trying to get into her safe haven, trying to escape his pleading looks. "Just let me go," she pleaded, "please, just let me go ..."

He released her hand, she scrambling into her dressing room and pushing the door closed behind her as his hand caught the it before it closed, she putting her hands to her face as she sobbed, body shaking as she sunk into the couch, burying her face into the cushions.

"Rina," he said softly, stepping towards her cautiously, reaching forward and brushing a hair away from her face, she jerking away from his touch. "Rina, please." He sat down across from her, gently prying her hands away slowly, voice racked with emotion, fighting back tears. "What's going on with you, huh? First you run away from me, and now, here you are, running again ..."

His eyes looked down at her shirt, smirking. So that was where it went. Another sob echoed, he shaking back into reality and grabbing her hands, tugging gently and holding them in his own. "Talk to me."

"Why," she asked through her tears, eyes meeting his and making his heart break, "why do I have to talk to you? You've moved on, you don't need to have anything to do with me ..."

He blinked back tears, reaching up and wiping his own away. It hurt him just to see her in the state she was in. "You need to calm down, Rina," he said softly, "your heart can't take so much -"

"I'm fine!"

He jerked away from her words, nodding slowly. "Okay, you're fine. Okay ..." He got up, unsure of what to do. "Then why did you come to my door," he asked softly, running a hand through his hair, "why were you there?"

"I wanted to talk to you," she said, attempting to calm herself as she dug her palms into her eyes, "Aubrey and Aundrea said I should ..."

"About what," he asked, stepping towards her as she stood up, wiping her eyes and looking away from him, "Rina -"

"About us," she said quickly, stepping away from him and walking towards her bag, busying herself with putting things back into it and closing it to leave. "About us and earlier -"

JC stepped up to her, grabbing her by the belt loop and pulling her up since her hands were busy. She cried out in surprise, hands flying up in defense as he grabbed her waist and turned her to face him. "About what, Rina?"

"Never mind."

He gripped her hips tightly, keeping her in her spot as she looked at him in shock, struggling against him as he pushed her to the wall, face dangerously close to hers. "About the kiss," he asked, lowering his mouth closer to hers as she squirmed, hands gripping onto his and trying to peel his fingers away from her jeans. "That's what you wanted to talk about, right? Otherwise, why would you be wearing my shirt without wanting to get me turned on by you all over again, huh? Try to get my attention without words, get me wanting to talk to you after you told me you didn't want to be near me again? Is that it?"

She closed her eyes, feeling his warm breath against her skin as he pressed himself closer to her. Bastard was hard against her thigh, his fingers dipped into the waist of her jeans and tugging her into him. Now, her squirming wasn't to get away from him, but to get closer to him, legs entangled in his as her breathing quickened.

One of his hands released her hip, pushing her against the wall as she looked at him, panicked. "Answer me, Audrina."

She felt his hand lower, felt it toying with the button of her jeans. He was playing her, playing her like an instrument to get the answers he knew he'd get if he got her where he wanted her and damnit, it was working. "Yes," she whispered, eyes shut as she nodded. "I wanted you to want me like I wanted you ..."

He popped the button on her jeans with his hand, she gasping at his sudden movement. His mouth was just barely above hers, closing in on it as he spoke, hand rubbing against her through her jeans, the coy smile playing on his lips as her breathing became ragged. "Truth is, Audrina," he said softly, nipping at her top lip as she cried out, squirming against his touch, "I've wanted you since day one and haven't stopped."

He buried his face into her neck, gently nipping at her skin, licking and sucking at the sweet spot on her neck. His fingers gripped the zipper of her jeans, sliding it down slowly and spreading the two flaps open with his fingers. Retreating from her jeans, his hand slid up her stomach, disappearing underneath her t-shirt and cupping her breasts through the lace of her bra, her head dropping back against the wall as she bit her lip, trying to surpress the moan in the back of her throat. "Jace ..."

He pulled his mouth from her neck, meeting her gaze. His eyes were dark, clouded over and the smirk on his face only brought a slight laugh from her. Had she not just been sobbing on the couch moments before? "God, you feel so damn good," he mumbled, licking his lips as he bent his head down, capturing her mouth and kissing her deeply, passionately. His hand retreated, he pushing his body against hers once more as his hand trailed along the elastic of her panties, he gasping against her mouth as her own hand found him through his jeans. "Lose the jeans," he mumbled against her mouth as she obliged, pushed them away from her hips and letting them pool at her feet, he lifting her up and away from them, nearly ripping her panties away and groaning deeply, hand cupping her. "You're so wet, baby," he murmured, she nodding against him, "for me?"

She cried out as his finger slid between her folds, plunging deep inside her and twisting slowly, curling and stroking her from inside. "Oh, God," she breathed, chest heaving, "only for you. God, just for you ..."

He pumped roughly, her moans driving his pumping faster and grabbing her leg and propping it on his hip. "Rina," he mumbled, forehead against hers, "Rina, look at me." He waited as her eyes fluttered open, the intense green gazing into his blue. "I lo -"

"JC, you in there?"

They froze, both heads both turning towards the door as she dropped her leg from his hip, pulling her panties back up and frantically grabbing her jeans. What had she just done? Was she that stupid? "Jace -"

He shot her a look to quiet her, Lucy giving up and walking away from the door, he peeking out and seeing no sign of her. "That was close -"

"We can't do this, JC," she said finally, tears brimming her eyes again, "what the hell did we just do?"

He kneaded his bulge, trying to relieve himself as he shifted from foot to foot. What had they just done? "I do believe we just proved how stupid we've been," he said, smirking, "how stupid I've been."

"We can't be doing this, JC," she cried out, jeans still hanging off of her hips as she began to cry again. "I can't do this, I can't keep coming back to you when I know it will end in disaster! Why do I keep doing this to myself?!"

"Ssh, Rina," he stepped to her, hugging her briefly before she pushed away, "Rina -"

"Get out, JC," she said softly, voice pained. She covered her eyes as she cried, willing herself not to look at him.

"Rina, I'm not going to walk away from this again," he said softly, voice trembling. He was going to break. He was breaking. "I'm not leaving without you coming with me."

"You have Lucy," she hissed, waving him away. "You already moved on."

"I was trying to get over you," he said desperately, her tears flipping the switch in his emotions. "I needed to forget everything about you; everything that I had fallen in love with! I didn't think you loved me anymore and I couldn't take it so I went out and I found the worst answer to my problem! When I should have came to you -"

"Get out, JC," she mumbled, turning away as she bent down, picking up her bag. "Get out!"

"I love you, Audrina," he said, desperate, "I can't be with anyone but you ..."

"Yeah, you know, I used to think the same thing about you," she said, scoffing at the thought, "but things just keep getting in the way or walking away and I realized that you and me, we're not meant to be. Kind of like that song, huh?"

"I want you!"

"And I want you to leave," she snapped. He saw the anger etched in the lines in her face, but he saw the sadness in her eyes. "Just get out and forget about me. Get out and forget you and I ever existed."

"Fine," he said, holding his hands up in defeat, "but it's gonna be damn hard when for the last eight years, life ceased to exist without you in it." He pulled open the door, turning to look at her, "I don't know how you did it, but you got me, Audrina; you are the only woman I have ever thought to change my life for, to change my life to better satisfy her."

"Yeah, well, I guess it's too late, isn't it?"

He scoffed. "Yeah, I guess it is." He slipped out, slamming the door behind him and stalking down the hallway towards his dressing room, taking a detour to the employee bathroom and locking it behind him. He stared at himself in the mirror, devestated at the ending, angry at himself for night fighting for it. But she was right. It was his mistake, yet he was making her pay for it every time she looked at Lucy.

Lucy. The woman he would not leave him alone and probably would not understand the meaning of 'I'm breaking up with you' without threatening bodily harm to him or herself.

He let out an exhausted sob, letting the tears fall as he stared down at his shaking hands. He was going to fix this. Somehow.