Chapter 7

I wish I had taken that drink. At least then it would explain my current behavior, and the behavior I’m continuing to display thereafter. I’m still kissing him, and my senses are flying, my knees are bucking and my damn lips won’t stop working their way into his. Fuck. He tastes better than I thought, and I might as well admit that I’ve been thinking about it since..well hell, since I’m clearly kissing the fool. I want to stop, but I guess my body is refusing to take into consideration any of the protests I’m dishing out. With every whim of resistence, there came crashing his soft- incredibly soft lips against mine wiping away any control. I didn’t even have the will to let go of his forearm, which flexed with every movement that brought me closer..and closer to him. He smelled so good. Like a damn cologne add. You know the ones that you watch from your living room couch, where it seems like one man’s scent hypnotizes an entire population..well I always try to imagine what it could possibly smell like. I’ve since stopped having to imagine, Justin was fucking toxic. So toxic that he had me wanting his hands sliding down the small of my back to grip me from behind as his tongue slicked in and out of my mouth. I’ve never kissed a man before, and here I was kissing the one I hated most in my girlfriends club. This has to measure towards the top of the list as one of the things you just don’t do..EVER. But I couldn’t stop. And the moan that fell from my lips, sounded foreign to my own ears. He was moving his lips across my collar bone and it wasn’t until then that I realized it was an untouchable spot for me. Surely Miranda had to have come across that same spot before, but I know for sure it never had me at my wits end. What in the hell is wrong with me? This was my girlfriend’s club, my best friend was here and at any moment either one of them could walk by and catch me in this unmistakable act.

" Stop." even I would have ignored the gesture, and it was even less enforcing with my body bending towards him in need. It was like the word was never uttered, and they were easily forgotten when I felt his hand snake under my shirt. His hand moved smoothly up towards my breast and the already hardened nipple that all but poked a whole through my bra was dying to feel the warmth of his touch. I gulped down the moan that climbed my throat when I finally felt the softness of my skin mesh with his.

" Fuck Bry..." he moaned those two words into my ear and you would have thought it was a declaration of love the way my body melted against his. This was NOT suppose to be happening. I wasn’t even suppose to be within five feet of him. My plan was to cleverly dodge him and Belinda and successfully seal the deal with JC. I managed to do none of the above, since I had just walked away from a nagging Belinda not even two minutes before encountering Justin. I had stopped by the bar to check on Stan, he pushed a drink towards me and I pushed it back. Fucking mistake. I should have downed it and asked for two more. Anything that would allow me to place the blame elsewhere when it came to explaining why it was I was STILL in fact making out with Justin.

" Stop." There was more of an edge behind my second attempt. It did nothing to stop him though, and his tongue worked magic along the line of my neck causing me to writhe beneath him. This was insane. It couldn’t possibly be happening, but it was. If only I had ignored the big burly man I recognized as Justin’s bodyguard and just walked the other way. But NOOOOOO. I had to be Ms. Let-me-pry-and-see-why-the-big-angry-bodyguard-was-guarding. I didn’t know what to expect when I finally made my way over to him, but what I did not expect to see was twiddle dee and twiddle dumb spilling out of their tops and onto the table. " Fucking stop!" I pushed off of him and tucked my bottom lip in avoiding all eye contact as I gathered my senses. I wasn’t ready to look at him, I didn’t know what I expected to see when I did. Up until moments before I was a sure shot lesbian, who never had and thought to never want anything from a man, who thoroughly despised her best friend’s "fuck friend" and loved her girlfriend. Now. Now I am a fucking mess.

" You gonna tell me..." his voice made me quiver. I could just imagine the look in his fucking haughty ass eyes, and it drove me mad. I could even picture his lips curling into a half smile, and that damn tongue of his wiping across them lazily. I could picture all this without turning my head the few millimeters to look at him. It was torture enough that I already had him in my thoughts, I didn’t need to make it a reality.

" Fuck you Justin." I meant it, and not in the actual fucking sense. I closed my eyes and willed myself not to think about Justin fucking me and rather tried to focus on that disdain that carried me through many days when having to deal firsthand with him. Where the fuck was it? Why could I only picture his tongue flicking across my chest and his hands dipping into my depths?! Why? Why when I never had these thoughts before?

" I could do more." his voice was unnerving me, and at the rate it was going it might as well fucking undress me. I shouldn’t be so phased though, he probably had this art down to a science. I still had a long way to go, but I could at least get the idea of why it’s so hard for Belinda to resist him and even more how he could pretty much have any woman ready to give up her virtue on the spot. I’m a lesbian, I make love to woman pretty much everyday of my life, how in the hell can he have this effect on me?

" I’m not one of them. You can’t have me the way you want me." Who in the hell was speaking?! Did I just say that? Am I implying that Justin wants me. I mean given the circumstance, its not very far fetched, but just who in the hell did I think I was? I hate this man. With a very strong, undying passion. He certainly couldn’t have me in any form or fashion. So why was my heart fluttering in anticipation for a response? I made the mistake of looking at him. He had been smirking, I could tell from the lines in his eyes as I watched them relax until they were all but invisible. Now he had this intent glare spread across his features and my heart did stop at the sight of it.

" How can I have you then? ‘Cause I definitely want you." He was good. Damn good. There goes my heart, beating like it was trying to win the race. I felt my palms begin to sweat and somehow my throat dried out. Where was Stan with a drink when you need him?

" There you are mi amor...I was just showing Joshua around. He seems to have fallen in love with the place." At that moment my heart stopped, and I was thankful to have been facing Justin so that I was allowed that brief moment to regain composure before I turned around to face Miranda. Taking a deep breath, I turned to see both Miranda and JC standing in front of me, their cool smiles reassuring me they hadn’t caught wind of the tension surrounding Justin and I.

" You’re a lucky woman Bryne...I was a dance away from stealing her from you." JC laughed easily and my heart jumped a beat as I hoped Justin didn’t catch what he just said. I was hoping he was too intoxicated to pick up on the conversation. I laughed lightly and waited for his interjection, and breathed a sigh of relief when I heard none.

" It would take way more than a couple of waltz around the floor hombre." Miranda winked and moved to my side to snake her arm around my waist. I felt my body tense up, as he squeezed me tightly before placing a loving kiss on my neck. The same spot Justin had just kissed. I closed my eyes and thought about what was to follow. There was no way Justin hadn’t picked up on the fact that Miranda and I were together. I waited again for a response, and to my surprise there was none. I couldn’t even imagine what must be going through his head right now, but it wouldn’t do me much good to know anyway. I still haven’t made sense of the mess my mind was creating.

" I wonder if Jay met up with Cam yet." I had sense abandoned my wild and crazy thoughts and focused on the conversation before me. JC was explaining how he couldn’t wait to start rehearsing for his release party and how this venue would be the perfect spot for him. I even heard Miranda mention Justin, which is why JC made his comment in the first place. It wasn’t until, though, that I realized Justin was no longer behind me. I was so caught up that I hadn’t even noticed his departure. Only that wasn’t what had me so choked up.

" Excuse me..did you say Cameron was here?" I cleared my throat and hoped that by repeating the words, it would make them more or less untrue.

" Yeah, I’m sure he met up with her. He dipped off just as we were approaching." I heard JC, but I had stopped listening and instead went back to my own thoughts. Cameron is in the club. Belinda is in the club. I just made out with Justin, and he so conveniently dipped off. I can’t tell you which of the three I’m the most upset about, but I have a strong feeling its neither the first or the second.