This was not the fucking place. 

Where the hell did he come off? Was it his fucking place to kiss Bryne? Was it his fucking place to have the balls to stand in front of me and tell me when the fuck I should react to the fucked up shit he’s into? My fucking place was whatever the fuck I felt like it being, and right now I felt like getting some fucking answers.

“ So whose better Bry..me, him or Miranda?” I wanted to hit below the fucking belt, so low that her fucking bottom dropped out, until the absurdity of the question matched the pain of having to ask it in the first place.

 “ Don’t do this Justin…” What the fuck was she whispering for? She didn’t want all her clients and potential clients to know about her dirty laundry? She should have thought about that shit before tonguing down JC in the middle of a fucking hotel dining room.

 Hotel dining room.

The magazine said they were in a hotel dining room, somewhere in Pennsylvania. Why the fuck were they in a hotel dining room in some shitty town in Pennsylvania?

 “ Why were you there?” It didn’t even register. Didn’t even dawn on me until now, that this shit was deeper than I thought. I looked from his hand, to her eyes, in that instant I knew what I didn’t even want to ask.

“ Justin, we can settle this…” JC started, but I left him no room to continue.

“ Your fucking kidding me right now B.” I was laughing, I was laughing because it was all I could do not to fucking cry. The image of his hands, over her, his mouth…kissing her…JC…inside of her. No fucking drug was capable of erasing this pain, no fucking high was more powerful than this shit. Fuck me…JC fucked her.

 “ Justin…” I didn’t want her to say my name. Not like that, not like she was begging me to understand, to forgive her for the fucked up shit I’m just now starting to put together. My head was spinning, my fist was tight, my jaw fucking tense as a mothafucker. JC fucked her . I couldn’t stop the image, and it was eating at me. Eating at what little sanity I had left, tearing at what little pride I walked in here with

.“ You fucked her?” Several eyes turned towards us, I could hear the hush fall over the crowd surrounding us. I didn’t give a fuck. Someone was gonna answer me, someone was gonna have the fucking balls to tell me right here..right now. JC’s eyes lowered and I wanted to fucking kill him. Fucking coward couldn’t even look at me. “ You fucked her.” I repeated, more as a statement, drawing complete attention from every nearby patron. I had to give it to the crowd, it was one interesting ass conversation…one I’d never thought I’d be having. The Justin Timberlake, fucked over by his best man and a lesbian he fell in love with. What are the fucking odds? “ Shit was good wasn’t it.” There was no way a fucking tear was brimming, I’d shit bricks before the day I cry over this bullshit. Bryne thought I was a fucking bastard before…her ass was in for a rude awakening.

 “ Justin please.” She had the fucking nerve to cry. The fucking audacity to stand there, and fucking shed tears. That shit used to get me, kept me fucking up at night thinking about how I could take all that from her. I wanted all her tears, I wanted to carry whatever fucking weight she held on her shoulders..and in turn she fucks one of my best friends?? She fucking threw me for real.

“ Lie to me B…tell me you didn’t fuck him.” I don’t remember a time I ever wanted something to be so true. I waited, watched her face twist in raw emotion, her body withdraw in defeat. “ Fucking tell me B…”

“ I can’t…” My heart broke, fucking fell right out of me. I knew it before she even said anything, but what the fuck was I to do now? How the fuck do you deal with shit like this?  Couldn’t even laugh, couldn’t even mask the pain…

“ J…it’s cool man. Let’s grab Cam and go.” There Trace was, standing just in front of me. I could see Willow, her eyes glassed over with tears and anger, just behind Trace covering her mouth. Willow didn’t cry for anyone, seeing her now, I understood that her tears were my pain. Her warning was my heed. “Come on man…”

For a moment, I felt my fist clash against JC’s jaw, felt my blood pump in anticipation, felt the emptiness that would still remain and decided against it. I had given them too much, given her all that I had. Now, I just didn’t have anymore.

“ Your not even worth it.” At that moment, she might have felt the brunt of my pain. I saw it flash across her face, just before I moved passed her. Felt it as I followed Trace into the crowd and into the hushed whispers. Released it… as my head fell against the limo seat and floated away from the pain that remained.