Chapter 16

“Mr. Timberlake.” I was busy, I had said I’d be busy, and yet here Molly was standing in the frame of my door way, interrupting my business. In truth, I was just sitting there, looking over the sketches of the new fall pieces for the William Rast collection, ignoring the incessant vibration of my cellular phone and trying hard to avoid the poignant stare Willow was giving me from across the room. My intentions were to sit in solace and think about Bryne, remember how she tasted, how she felt… I was to do all that in the privacy of my own office. That was before Willow brought her bony ass into my office with the sketches Trace was suppose to have on my desk a week ago. He probably sent her as a diversion so I no longer focused on how late they were, but how fast I can get her out of my office. I love the girl, but I know what she’s after, and I promised Bryne I wouldn’t say anything to anyone until she was ready. It’s been hard not to bring her up, especially around my mother. Three times, three times I had nearly blurted out Bryne’s name and each time it was to explain to my mother the reasoning behind the difference she was noticing in her son. But I held my tongue. Out of respect for her, and everything that I wanted with her, I held my tongue. I’ve avoided every possible call from Belinda and Cameron, in hopes of keeping my cool so as to not leak any information about us- when all I really wanted to do was castrate any ties between both of them and work on building the ones that would hold Bryne and I together. But I promised her I’d wait, and shits that crazy now- that I’m working hard to keep my word.

“What is it Wendy.” I just looked at Willow. I still had no idea why she was still in my office, sitting behind my desk, chewing on my peanut M&M’s, calling my secretary by some ridiculous name that wasn’t even close to the real thing. Why couldn’t she be out with Trace somewhere, wallowing in the nothingness that I know he does all day. If he wasn’t my best friend, he damn sure wouldn’t be my personal assistant! But he was my best friend, and strangely enough he has an eye for fashion amongst many other strange characteristics he embodies- one being his attraction to the abomination currently seated behind my desk.Well…Willow was definitely no abomination- at least not on the eyes, as for someone’s patience….

“ Molly what is it?” I was tired. I hadn’t had a moments rest in three days. I could blame Bryne, but I know it had more to do with the meetings surrounding my up coming promotional tour. Sitting around conference rooms all day sounds effortless, but the drubble that goes through one ear and out the other was enough to drive a sane man crazy…and after Bryne, my ass was working without a full deck for damn sure. Even Bill’s spit showers- that always came with every lecture about my image- were easily forgotten once I slipped into a lackadaisical reminisce of Bryne and every other little thing I couldn’t forget about her. Like the way she sucks in her bottom lip whenever I slip inside of her, or the way her breath feels against my skin when she’s whispering those forbidden thoughts that we both share, but never say. It’s those same thoughts that have me ready to change…something I never thought myself capable of.

“ Ben is on the phone for you.” Just the shit I need. I’m not in the fucking mood for him or his rant and raves about what I need to do as Cameron Diaz’s “ boyfriend”. He makes the shit seem like it’s a job. Like I was on call twenty four-seven, even when she’s out the country. He scoped my image just as much, if not more than he scoped Cameron’s. It was like when she hired him, I hired his ass. I didn’t pay the bastard, but he made it his business to stay current on all my endeavors and made no qualms about meddling in my affairs. He was so bold as to tell me that I had less than a month to cut all ties with Belinda, and that shit happened a good two years ago. He definitely had my card, and the little queer knew it too. I hated him about as much as I hated Lance in plaid shirts, and yet he was just one other thing I had to accept in my life. He obviously hadn’t disclosed his discoveries to Cameron, or else she really didn’t care- which wouldn’t surprise me in the least. So today of all days, Ben’s prodding ass was on my line, and I’m positive he’s about to give me some shit.

“ Will…don’t you want to go play in traffic?!” I dismiss Molly out of my office and turn to my pestering friend in hopes that she’d take a hint and give me a moment of privacy. I wasn’t sure what Ben had for my ass today, but I’ve learned to keep our conversations as private and low key as I possibly can. The man had too much incriminating shit on me, things I never even told my Momma. Willow gave me a bored look and continued on in her picking through my bowl of candy. “ Shit Willow, could you give me a minute.”

“ Why Timbertoad? Got something to hide?”

“ I will in a minute when I stick my foot up your ass..Now get out!” She ignored me for a moment, but grew bored with my angry glare quickly and moved out of the chair and towards the door. I fell into my seat once she closed the door to my office and sighed as I picked up the receiver. Ben’s anxious ass was still beeping through on line one, and I cursed the damn red light as I accepted the call.

“ What do you want Ben?”

“ What the hell kind of shit are you trying to pull Timberlake?!” It always amazed me how frank and unformal this character was. He acted like I wasn’t adored by millions and looked to as an iconic figure. He acted like all I really am to this world is Cameron’s boyfriend, nothing else.

“ Ben…stop calling my office.” I didn’t even care enough to venture into whatever mayhem he was talking about. Whatever it was, I’m sure Bill already covered it, which meant that the issue was over before it could ever start. That’s why Bill gets a fat ass check every month, because he’s one hell of a lawyer and he’s managed to keep my reputation smoother than a baby’s bottom. Ben was usually too late to even notice the crisis was already solved, which was what I’m assuming is the case now. He’s such a fucking girl, always ready to over-exaggerate any minute thing.

“ Her movie is scheduled to release in one month! All you had to do was keep your pointed ass out of the limelight…” The man was out of control. I had half a mind to pull up to his office and shut his shit down. Just who in the hell did he think he was talking to?

“ Yo..watch your tone…”

“ Has Bill seen this? Shit…have you even seen this?” I was growing tired of his frantic rambling and wanted nothing more than to hang up the phone and go on about my day. Whatever it was, obviously it’s not as important or Bill would have been on my ass about it. Ben was still rambling, having yet to address the actual issue, when I saw the door to my office burst open and Belinda appear. Fuck. She looked crazed, her eyes were damn near popping out their socket and her hair was a wild mess all over her head. I barely caught Willow and Molly peering over the corner of the receptionist desk before Belinda slammed the door shut and locked it behind her. What the fuck?!

“ Hang up the phone Justin.” She didn’t look like herself, and she certainly didn’t sound like herself as she stood before me grilling me with her eyes. I hadn’t seen her in at least a week, and I imagined she’d be a little pissed that I avoided her – but damn- she looked fired. Ben was still talking out the side of his mouth about Cameron and her gotdamn career that I thought now was a better time than any to end the conversation. Not even a second after I replaced the receiver did Molly buzz right through.

“ Uh…Mr. Timberlake…”

“ Not now Molly. Hold all my calls.” I watched Belinda, thinking that by now she’d settle down, but I had no such luck. If anything she looked to be getting angrier.

“ But Justin….”

“ Not now.” I ignored the urgency in her voice, and completely overlooked the formal name drop as inclination into how shit was really about to hit the motherfucking fan. Instead, I just met eyes with Belinda and tried to silently figure out what brought her ass to my office. We’ve been fucking around for eight years, and in the last three years that I’ve had this office she’s been in twice. Both times were for a spontaneous mid-day fuck, and it was quite evident that that was not the ulterior motive today. I was growing weary with the fucking silence, and even more annoyed that I couldn’t just be left in peace to do what I really wanted to do- which was to escape downtown to Bryne’s office and lock myself inside with her and no one else. Only I didn’t have that option, and her best friend- whom I’ve been fucking for the last eight years was keeping me from that prospect at this present moment.

“ What is this Scoop?” she was trying my patience, with her tempered silence. I’d rather her state her purpose than just stand there with her hand on her protruding hip and her mouth twisted in anger. I don’t even think she’s blinked since she’s walked in, meaning some shit was really up. Had Bryne told her about us? I tried to read her body language, but my eyes stopped on her opened blouse and I swallowed hard to keep from looking down further- into her plunging neckline. She usually wore that shit on purpose for me, and every time I fell for the fucking bait. But not today, the only feasting my eyes wanted to do would be all over Bryne’s body, not hers. I averted my attention and noticed the glossy pages of the magazine she had gripped in her hand. She followed my gaze and proceeded to walk up to my desk and slam the pages down in front of me.

“ What the fuck is this Jay?!” There, spread across the front page, was Bryne and I leaning against my sedan kissing in front of Al Patti’s. Fuck. The angle was dead on, and there was no mistaking what we were doing, me fitted between her thighs, her arms around my neck, my hands under her dress. I closed my eyes and sighed heavily, the shit was really about to blow the fuck up. An anger like I never felt before washed over me, not because I was caught, not even because I could clearly see that the shit pissed Belinda off- but because some asshole stole a private moment from us and posted it on a sleazy magazine bound to cause a whirlwind of mayhem all for a cheap buck. Shit, Bryne..did she see this? “ What is this?!”

“What does it look like Belinda.” It wasn’t a question, and I didn’t pose it as one, as I settled back in my chair and thought about the shit that Bryne was up against. How the fuck did this happen. I thought we were covered, I specifically told Lenny to scope out the area. Shit. This was not happening.

“ You fucking bastard!” she was flaring up in front of me, and I didn’t even have the heart to entertain her. My thoughts went straight to Bryne. Would she hate me for this? She had spent the last six months hating me for this exact same reason, but now- now that I made love to her- would it make a difference? Would she remember the person I was when she was in my arms, in my presence? It is without question that the old pictures would soon resurface and they would tie the two and make up an exaggerated tale of how she’s just another notch on the belt for Justin “Fuck Me” Timberlake. Shit. The tabloids would kill her, and all at a cost of me.

“ Shit.” I hissed ignoring the shit of Belinda and instead focusing on my next course of action. I had to get to Bryne. I had to get to her before anyone else, because the shit she was about to be exposed to would make me lose her forever- and that wasn’t an option for me.

“ I knew you were into a lot of shit..but this!” I looked up at Belinda and thought about how unconcerned I was for her feelings at the moment. It was sad, because this woman had been in my life for nearly a decade and I couldn’t fathom one grain of remorse. Nothing about our relationship was respectable from the jump, and even though she had every reason to be angry by the fact that I’d chose her best friend over her- that was about as far as she could take her disappointment. She and I both knew I was never promised to her and that  I had never made the mistake of telling her so. She could save all that shit about stepping out on what we had, because in reality we never had shit- and she knew that.

“ Scoop. I didn’t mean for you to find out this way…”

“ Justin how could you do this to me?!” she asked me like I owed her the world. I was wrong for falling for her best friend, but she was not about to play this up like she was my girl and not the consistent fuck that she was. I wasn’t stupid. I knew what she was after, and I knew she thought that if she fucked me senseless I would give it to her. She wanted to be Cameron, she wanted to be that one that got all the fame riding my fucking coattails. I’m sure she even told herself that she loved me, convinced herself that it wasn’t the image, but the man she as after. She didn’t even know me. She knew the size of my dick, and how to work the shit out of it, but she couldn’t even tell you what I fear the most. She’d never be able to tell you one thing about me outside of the bedroom. Even the few things she knew from before, when we were just friends, she’d somehow forgotten. The memory of them must have floated away with her fascination with my image. I pulled her card a long time ago, and it didn’t make what I did right in the slightest- in just made it easier for me to bear.

“ I know the situation is fucked up…”

“ Damn right it is! Do you know how long I’ve waited for you to leave these other bitches alone… and then you bag my fucking best friend….”

“ I didn’t bag her.” I spoke calmly, only because I was trying to keep my cool. I had to remember that I was in my office, within earshot of ninety percent of my employees, and that I didn’t want ALL of my business to be put out there. Belinda was really trying me, and the fact that she tried to deduce what Bryne and I had into simple “ bagging” was just another one of her tactics to belittle everything but our situation. She was a fucking loon if she thought all my girlfriends were just other bitches compared to her. If that was the case she was in for a rude awakening.

“ Oh what…you made love to her Justin.” She sneered and I had to stop myself from laying a hand on her. She had a right to be mad, but she was a step away from going to far. “ You didn’t make love to her Jay!..you fucked! Like you fuck me, like you fuck Cam..like you fuck all your little assistants..and like you probably fuck Willow!”

“ Get the fuck out!” I had enough of her fucking mouth, and she was going to be needing security soon if she didn’t fly her ass out of here. I stood up, my hands on my desk, my eyes burning with anger and my resistance two steps from fleeing me. Just who in the fuck did she think she was?

“ Oh what..the red head cunt is just your best friend?! Yeah right Jay..obviously you have no bounderies…”

“ Belinda..I’m warning you..” I don’t usually get angry with her, I never cared enough to. Usually I just dismiss her, but today is a different story. It’s not even that she’s calling me a fucked up person, but I could tell she considers me a joke. Like there is no other way for me to be. Like I’ a person without morals, without the capability to feel. Like I’m a fucking icon and that’s all I am.

“What…so let me get this straight. You think you made love to Bryne…think because you got to smell her pussy, your something to her?” I should just ignore her, I should just walk away. Clearly she’s angry, and she’s only taunting me because she’s pissed. She knows that I want Bryne, and its killing her. She wanted to provoke me to anger, she wanted me to react to her.

“ Don’t talk about her like that.”

“ What are you a fucking good guy now? You’ve dogged me out for eight years..aint nothing gonna change about you Justin. Your always going to be a worthless bastard with a stiff dick!” Her words sliced through me, cutting through the esteem that I built up for Bryne. The part of me that wanted to be different, more than I ever was. The part of me that wanted to be the man that would love her, and no one else- stay committed to her, and only her.

“ It’s over…just go.” I didn’t have the will to battle with her anymore. I didn’t need to stand here and listen to her insults, reminding me of what I’ve been, what I’ve done. The past didn’t matter. I was looking for a future, something greater than anything any woman in my life could have given me before. Something I didn’t want from Belinda, something I don’t even think she was capable of giving.

“ You think you’re the shit, don’t you?! You think you can take whatever you want when you want it.” Belinda laughed, backing away from my desk, leaving the glossy magazine spread across it. I looked down, it didn’t matter what she had to say to me anymore. It just mattered what Bryne thought… it only mattered that she’d know I’d do nothing to hurt her. “ Let’s just try and see you take this one…you’re a joke if you think she’s going to leave her girlfriend…”

“ What?” I was tuning Belinda out, nothing she said mattered to me in the slightest. But I heard her last words, I heard… but I’m sure I heard wrong. When my eyes met hers, the confusion the flustered them brought a wry smile to her lips. Then there was a glint in her eyes, one that told me what I had heard was right.

“ Oh you didn’t know loverboy….Bryne’s a lesbian. She lives with her girlfriend Miranda…you know the one from the club.” She laughed, and I felt my heart fall to the floor. “By the way…how does Miranda taste?”