I couldn't wait to get out of her office. It was suffocating. Her hopping all down my throat over some shit that happened last year didn't exactly help either. She acts as if I fuckin raped her, when I barely even kissed her. I was high as a fucking kite that night, and to be honest I barely remember anything. I was just trying to stay in Belinda's good graces, since it was all she bitched about that next morning. That's why I began apologizing. I even went down to the the girl's house and offered fucking flowers, and she slammed the door in my face. I tried it again twice, and then i just started sending my flunkies. It seemed like Andy was the only one that could get through to her, so I sent him most above all the rest. Either way, it did nothing to heal the wound because it was quite obvious she was still just as angry- of not angrier. What was the big deal anyway? What's worse is that it seems like no matter what I do- because believe me, I've done it- I can't get her to forgive me. Again I ask, what is the big fucking deal?! I stormed out of her office, barely acknowledging the secretary I heard her call Tameka as I pushed passed the door. I pulled the sleeves up on my shirt, in desperate need of some air because it seemed like all of it was sucked out of me while in the presence of one angry fucking Bryne James. She was a fucking piece of work. I'm getting a headache just thinking about her. I nodded towards Lonnie, my bodyguard, who was taking residence up on the steps that lead to the door of Bryne's office. We exchanged looks, and no words were said as he led the way out to my limo. I jumped in the back seat and was thankful to see that Lonnie took the hint and sat up front with the driver. I needed some space, especially after dealing with that force of a woman. I leaned my head against the leather seat and stared into the ceiling. I closed my eyes when I grew bored with the nothingness and instantly a vision of her popped before me. I guess I was too damn irritated to notice how good she looked in her business attire, but now with nothing but silence around me, I was very much appreciating the fact. I liked the way her skirt waist accentuated her curves, and even the slimming black couldn't hide her nicely sized backside. She looked good. Damn good. But that I new since the first day I decided to go and apologize that following morning. I can't tell you whats kept me motivated enough to keep seeking out her acceptance, but I can tell you she is the first person I thought of when JC and I decided to plan for his listening party. I can't say I remember much of what she did for Belinda's gala, but I do remember hearing about an event she put on for my good friend Ellen, as in Ellen DeGeneres. I almost pissed my pants when Ellen mentioned her one day when idly chatting over lunch. I had just came into to town to congratulate her on her Emmy and after the surprise show appearance, we decided to have a late lunch. Ellen was telling me about how her and Portia had attended this party that had been planned by a new comer who was a woman named Bryne. I knew instantly that she was talking about my Bryne- or rather the Bryne James- because there weren't many women going by that name. I listened intently as she explained all the intricate details that just made the overall experience memorable for her and even stifled a laugh when she even alluded to cheating on Portia with Bryne. It was then that I remembered how beautiful the woman I had been stalking for the past six months, actually was. I had actually forgotten well into the third month of 'stalking' her, because it was like she became apart of my daily agenda. Sign this contract, meet with this producer, apologize to Bryne via Andy, pick up some lingerie for Cam. That was a typical day, and it was like second nature for Bryne to be apart of it. It was only natural when JC and I sat down to seriously discuss a breakthrough for his career, that I thought of the event planner that couldn't even bare the sight of me. I immediately had my manager, Paul, set up a meeting with her agency through a third party company. That way, I was sure I could get my foot in the door and she would at least hear me out. I didn't think I would actually be doing so literally. I smirked to myself when I thought about how absolutely pissed she look when she opened her door to find me standing there. It was a wonder I got out that place alive.

" We're here." I heard Lonnie call from the front and I sat up shaking off my previous thoughts. I stepped outside and onto the darkened pavement that served as Belinda's apartment building parking lot. I nodded towards Lonnie who scanned the area before dropping back into the limo to pull of with the driver. Where I'm going he doesn't need to be and what I'm about to do, he doesn't need to be apart of. I walked into the back door, pulling my cap further down to cover my eyes, and took the steps to her apartment. She lives on the fifth floor, and although its some bullshit, I'm better off taking the steps. When I finally reach her door, I know that she's already got it open. She always does. I stepped inside her apartment and smiled at the picture she has framed of us hanging on the wall beside the door. I stop and stare at the picture, remembering that day on Ellis Island when we took it. It was right before I hit it big with my group 'NSYNC. I had met Belinda on the pier when Joey was showing us around New York. We were young then, like 15 and 'NSYNC still wasn't known in the states. I remember I noticed her leaning against the rail, facing the waters, her thick curls blowing against the wind. I don't know what came over me, but I walked up to her and introduced myself and the rest is history. We started off as friends, and we're still friends, it's just now we have benefits. She knew all about Britney, and even now she knows about Cameron. Not many people know about her though, I kept her out of the limelight as much as I could. There's been a little speculation, but never any proof behind it. I smiled at the memory of us, and thought about the past eight years that I've known her. I wrote a song about her on my last album, Nothing Else. She creamed her pants, and then later all over me, when she first heard it. I chuckled at the thought and stepped in the kitchen to grab a bottled water. After quenching my thirst, I made my way to the bed room where I knew she was waiting. It was early evening, but when I entered her chambers it looked like the still of night. She had the drapes closed, and a lone candle burning on her dresser. I took my phone and placed it on the table beside the door, making sure that it was on silent. I didn't need anything interrupting us. I had a lot I needed to get out, and I didn't need any reason for to begin protesting. Even though she knows about Cameron, and she completely understands our situation, it still never seems to keep her from bitching every once in a while.

" That was quick." she smiled from the bed. She was already naked, the nipple of her breast pointing up her body opened completely. She was a beautiful woman, curved in all the right places. Her skin was a soft caramel brown and felt as good as it looked. I pulled my shirt over my head and dropped it at the foot of the bed. She leaned up on her elbows and watched as I slowly undressed. I took my time unbuckling my belt, already anticipating the ride I was about to give her. Slowly moving until she was seated on her knees, she began crawling to me, grabbing hopld of my jeans. I watched her unbuckled the latch before she leaned up and took my lips into hers. She wasted no time pushing them, and my boxers, pulling me down on top of her as she moved back on the bed. With one hand I reached for the condom I knew she had beside her pillow and let my free hand run the length of her until I felt my two fore fingers push inside of her. She was gushing wet, her juices dripping down the side of my hand.

" Damn B.." I exclaimed, instantly upset that I did so. Before I could stop it, Bryne's face flashed before me. It was twisted into a frown, and even then she looked nothing but beautiful. I grunted inwardly, not needing to be thinking of her at a time like this. As if knowing my thoughts, Belinda began kissing my neck and running her hand along my shaft.

" You okay J?" I didn't answer her, just kissed her as I lifted myself up to place the condom on my throbbing member. I needed to get this shit out of my system, and I needed to right now. i didn't know if I felt worse for even thinking about Bryne in the first place, or for coming here to fuck the shit out of Belinda so I could stop. Everything about this situation was fucked up, and then you add on the fact that I might be feeling Belinda's friend.

" Fuck." I growled slamming myself inside of her walls, feeling her legs tighten around me. I felt the familiar warmth and began moving within her at a pace i knew even she was taken aback by. I looked down and could see she was biting her lip. I reached back and brought her leg up to my shoulder and watched as her toes curled.

" Just!" she moaned, pushing her head back into her pillow as I pounded in and out of her, the sweat dripping off of me and onto her naked body. From the flicker of the candle I could see her body glistening, shuttering in pleasure. She was fucking gorgeous, but when I closed my eyes all I saw was Bryne- scowling down at me, making me all the more frustrated.

" Jay...FUCK!" Belinda screamed out as I heard the head board bang violently against the wall. I couldn't answer, couldn't even think as I just kept pushing harder inside of her needing to feel the numbing sensation that came when my body lost all of its control. " Oh..fuck I'm about to...." I gasped loudly as her walls closed in around me and I felt the shudder of her own release. With one last stroke, I pushed as far as I could inside of her and exploded my own release. I wished for the thoughts that evaded my mind to wash right out of me and when I collapsed on top of Belinda and felt her soft kisses against my neck, I knew I hadn't. When I closed my eyes I could still see Bryne.

" You must have had a hard day." I pulled the towel from around my neck and threw it into her laundry basket. Following the sound of her voice, I walked into the living room and fell down on the couch beside her. She was sitting indiana style on her couch with one of my t-shirts I must have left with her over the years, her smile was wider than usual and I could tell she appreciated the fact. " I think you should have them more often." she cooed, snuggling into my neck and kissing the side of my jaw. I settled into the crevice of the couch and pulled her onto my lap. I didn't want to think about my bad day, I didn't want to think about much at that point. I just wanted to be Justin, as fucked up as I am, I just wanted to dwell on that.

" How's your show coming?" The last time I was in New York, which was a month ago, she was working on putting together another show. I saw a few pieces she'd been working on leaning up against the bedroom wall and wondered if she meant to use them. There were about three off them, one which took me off guard. Maybe I was looking too hard, or maybe I was just being that self absorbed prick most people think I am but it looked a lot like me. It was the image of a man, filling the expanse of what looked like a doorway, holding something in his hands. I couldn't quite make out what it was, but I figured the picture just wasn't complete.

" I've been working on a few pieces. I've been trying to get Bryn to plan my event again." I rolled my eyes and kept them from looking at her, I can't believe how often she comes up. It was unsettling when she popped up in the bedroom, and I still felt a little bit uncomfortable now as we sat here afterwards talking.

" How's that goin?" I didn't really want to know. Not because I didn't care about Belinda or her artwork, but more so because I wanted to not be talking about Bryne. Thinking about her only reminds me even more of how fucked up I really am.

" It's not. She's against it. Plus she's been rambling about some big account she's hoping to land for Randy's jazz club." I should inquire about who Randy is, and maybe even what big client Bryne might have, but I just don't have the will to get into it. The less we talk about her, the better I'll feel. She already takes up too much of my time anyway, since she's the only person consistently on my schedule...

" Oh."

" So has she forgiven you yet?" Belinda's eyes sparkled with laughter, and I sorely wished I had a reason to laugh right now. Belinda thinks its hilarious that Bryne won't talk to me, and it's ashame because I don't share in that sentiment. I'm actually pissed about it. No one has ever made me work that hard to get a got damn 'okay' from them. I didn't see why it was so important that I got it from her anyway. I think it long since stopped being about trying to show Belinda I cared about her friends and turned into some type of obsession, I'm sure I would have at least been passed it by now if Bryne would have just simply accepted my apology when first offered. I bet I wouldn't even be discussing her now with Belinda, or thinking about her when I'm inside Belinda...

" No."

" She's such a stubborn ass." I breath in my frustration and decide that its probably best that I leave before I give Belinda another reason to get mad at me. I don't want to lash out on her, when she's completely innocent in the matter. She has no idea that I'm having these conflicting thoughts. I don't need to be taking anything out on her, especially when we have enough issues that we deal with on a regular basis. Smoothing my hand over her bare thigh, I stretch her leg over me so that she is now in a straddling position. That's another thing about Belinda that I can't get enough of, she's so damn limber. Kissing her softly, I breath in her scent and think about how she smells nothing like Cameron. Cameron wears this heavy perfume that is more toxic than it is sweet. Belinda, smells almost too sweet like a bag of candy. I laugh too myself, finding it irnoic that while both of the women in my life have signature scents neither of them are my favorite. I'd prefer something in the middle. But I'd prefer a lot of things.

" I'm gonna leave Scoopers." I've called her that for at least three years now, and I can't remember how I came up with the nickname. It just appeared one day and stuck. She pushed out her lower lip and pretended to pout as I placed kisses alongside her neck. It's crazy because I have a thing for Belinda, that much is obvious since I've been with her for so many years. But I'm not in love with her, not like I know I should be. Not enough to leave everyone else alone. I've recently began asking myself if I am in love with Cameron, she is my girlfriend and she has been for sometime but I don't think that I am. It's fucked up I know, and what makes it worse is that I know both of them are in love with me. Hell I know Britney is still in love with me. With all these women to love, and yet I love no one. It's crazy.

" Can't you stay?" I stopped her hand before it snaked its way into my lap, I know her too well. I kiss her palm as I move to stand.

" I can't, I gotta hook up with JC." I don't, but I could. I just need to get out of this apartment and get myself lost in the city of New York. Maybe I'd even catch a flight out to L.A. go home for a few days. I needed to do something, because it was obvious my solution hadn't worked. Then it dawned on me, I had to be there for the meeting tomorrow. I didn't know how I was going to pull that one off. I had to come up with something, and I knew it would have to be done outside of Belinda's apartment. I grabbed my phone from the bedroom dresser and noticed that Cameron had called..three times. She was over in London shooting a movie..I think. or in one of those other worlds. I wasn't paying attention when she left, I think I was half sleep anyway. I walked over to Belinda and kissed her before turning to head out. I had already paged Lonnie after I stepped out of the shower, so figured he'd be downstairs waiting. When I pushed open the back door, I smiled. Lonnie was my man.

" What the fuck do you mean your coming home?!" I was expecting to hear Trace's protests, but it didn't mean that I appreciated them. He and I both knew anything he had to say was going to go unheard if he meant to tell me to stay put in New York. Trace Ayala was my best friend, business partner, and informal personal assisstant. He knew my schedule as good as I did, which meant he knew what I knew. So him trying to tell me about the meetings I had lined up in New York was like telling me what my ass smells like. I already have a pretty good idea. We've known each other since the beginning, and so I knew he already knew I was at the LAX. " Damn man, that means your ass is probably here!" I smiled knowingly and made my way through the secluded section of the airport and out to my awaiting car.

" Yeah..I'm about to hop in the car. Does that mean we're going out?" I was non stop, I know. The day hadn't even ended and I'm home in Los Angeles. I had a pretty shitty day, and the least it could do was end with me at home. I already called JC and told him about the meeting that he would have to go to concerning his listening party. I gave him Bryne's office address and telephone number and wished him luck. He sounded confused when I said that, but he hadn't met her yet. I'm sure he'd understand after tomorrow. I even called Andy up, at his home, and told him to drop by George's and grab a dozen of whatever the prettiest flowers were and take them to Bryne's office first thing in the morning. At least tomorrow I wouldn't have to concern myself with her, since it would go without saying that Andy would get the job done. Waving off a few screaming fans who happened to have noticed me getting into my car, I shut my door and breathed in my "new car scent". It was good to be home.