Chapter 13

Today is a disaster. It’s ten o clock in the morning and I’m already claiming this day as the day that will go down in infamy. The sidewalks are packed, the air is musky, there are a thousand and one cabs lined up back to back- from corner to corner- and I’ve spilled more of my café Americano on my dress than I’ve been able to pour down my throat. This day is shit- and it wasn’t until right now, as I passed over one of the many sewage holes lining the pavement, that I broke the heel to my favorite Michael Kors pump. This day is now seriously fucked.

“ Are you kidding me?!” I limped over to the nearest alley entry, and leaned against the brick wall of a sidewalk store. I thought about dipping inside and purchasing a pair of those infamous Chinese slippers that are being sold at pretty much every five and dime on every corner. I hated those damn things, and I hated the damn pop off jewels that were haphazardly glued to the front of most of them. I was better off buying house shoes than walking around looking like I kicked rocks all day and decided to wear the rubble on my big toe. I sighed heavily and inspected the damage, doing my best to ignore the petty cat calls I was receiving from the city’s slums that passed me. Today was such a fucked day. I rolled my eyes and thought about my next move. I was blocks away from my office, already late for my appointment with Andre- the caterer from hell- and only about two weeks away from the biggest event I had all summer. The listening party was vastly approaching, and if I was bold enough to admit to myself that something more had me on edge- I might actually stumble upon the root of my problems. But I digress…

“ Bryne?”  It was one of those freaky New York chance happenings that had me now peering up at Andy, New York’s biggest ball of fashion, from my kneeling position. I hadn’t seen him in at least a month, pretty much ever since Justin and I began our professional relationship. I certainly haven’t seen him in the more recent weeks, since Justin had done a pretty damn good job of making himself available. At least he had been, for the past week I hadn’t heard from him. You’d think I’d be doing jumping jacks right about now, but I’m not. I’m actually disappointed, though I’d never share that with another soul. It’s just that I had grown accustomed to him being around, and then to his kisses…and shit, stop right there. I’m just curious as to where he has been. So of course on the worst of my days, when the thought alone of Justin has got me stomping around the city of New York hard enough to break my favorite shoe, I would run into Andy and fate would find a way for me to get my answers.

“ Andy…wh..where have you been?” What else could I say? Why have you stopped stalking me? I stood up and smoothed out my linen dress, trying to appear less frazzled than I actually was.

“ Ohmigosh Bryne James…I thought it’d be forever until I seen you again.” I smiled in response to his theatrics and took note of his ever protruding stomach, it looked heavier today. It could be the shirt, or the fact that he no longer has to chase me up and down New York blocks. I’m going to go with the shirt.

“ I know, well how have you been… are you still working for…” I cut myself off, clearly too late for him to overlook the fact that I was bringing up Justin- which made me think why on earth I decided to cut myself off at the very end of the sentence. Was I trying to appear all the more interested? I looked down and allowed the moment of silence to pass between us, as I’m sure Andy was concocting his own ideas on why I all of a sudden was so apt to bring up Justin.

“ Of course I do, I’m headed back to office now. It’s just around the corner.” He gave me a peculiar eye then looked down out my shoeless foot. “Having shoe problems?”

“ Never can be too careless walking a New York block.” I humored, and decided that I had been right about this day all along. Of course I would be a block or so away from Justin’s office, where I’m sure he is, where I’m sure I’ll be heading- unless I want to walk the streets of New York as a footless monster or better yet a Chinese slipper wearing freak. I’d really rather go kick rocks, and yet that didn’t appear to be an option.

“ Well Mr. Timberlake’s offices are just around the corner…” So I’ve been having a shitty day, but it wasn’t just because I was running around New York like a chicken with their head cut off. I fucking miss him.  There I said it. It’s been a seven days, nine hours and nearly thirty-seven minutes since I was last with him. It’s sad. I’ve counted. But I’ve been trying not to. I’ve been trying to do everything in my right mind, to focus on something else but he seems to always break through any rational thought and rob me of my sanity. I’ve hated him for so long, but now it’s not for the same reasons. I hated him before because he was a disaster to my reputation, my best friend’s obsession, and an adamant pest. Now…now, I hate him because I can’t stop thinking about him. Because he makes me feel things I’ve never felt before, and because I can’t deny the attraction that I know I have for him. I hate him because everything about us is wrong, and it would not only break my friendship to be with him, it would go against all that I pledged to be for these past three years. But I hated him the most, because even after knowing all that, I still want him.

“ I’m just going to hail a cab..”

“And sit in traffic for eight hours. Really, it’s just around the corner..” I had no good reason to refuse, at least not one that I was willing to state out loud. I sighed inwardly, and  placed my foot back inside the heelless shoe to begin my walk of shame.

~~~

His office was ten times the size of mine, and I counted at least three receptionists from the door to the small square door that Andy indicated led to his closet size office. As soon as we walked through the door, there were a handful of messages waiting given to Andy by the first receptionist, and the second led me back to his office, while the third eyed me curiously.

“ Are you here to apply for a position?” Like hell, I thought, clearing my throat and shaking my head no. I owned my own company, to even insinuate that I’d work under Justin Timberlake was an insult, but couldn’t even compare to the injury of knowing I’d just as gladly be under him. Oh gosh, I’m pathetic.

“ No...just a friend. Is…” I was about to ask if Justin was in, when I heard that familiar laughter. It stole my attention the moment it cut through the air and I turned to see a flash of red hair turning the corner to proceed down another hall. The pit of my stomach turned and I looked to the receptionist for answers. I tried to overshadow my interest, by portraying to be nonchalant, but I doubt it came across that way.

“Who was that red head woman?”

“ Oh..that must have been Willow.” The receptionist sighed and rolled her eyes before moving to go back to her desk. So her name is Willow, but I knew that already. He had told me her name that day in my office. I tried to remember what all he said, but my thoughts were clouded with the strong memory of the way his hands felt on me, and his lips, and his…There he was. He was walking around the corner, his hand on the small of her back as he leaned in to whisper whatever it was that had the woman named Willow smiling like a damn fool. I felt the wave of jealousy carouse through me as I watched them proceed. Then his eyes fell on me. I couldn’t tell what expression fell across my face, but judging from his  I could tell he knew exactly what I was thinking. It didn’t take long for Willow to catch on that Justin was no longer taking part of their cheery banter as her eyes went from him to settle on me. I cleared my throat, wanting that thick residue of envy to push back down but could feel that I had no such luck. For that moment, I wished I had decided to go and purchase those damn slippers, so I didn’t have to be here, apart of this moment.

“ Bee..what are you doing here?” He looked guilty, in fact it was the first time since I’ve known him that he ever had...that look on his face. My heart fell, and it suddenly dawned on me that he could have very well been lying to me about her this whole time. Surely he hadn’t expected to ever come across me here, unless I was invited, and since he didn’t invite me – he had free reign to flaunt his women. This was my mistake, I shouldn’t have been here. I forgot that my shoe was broken, and just moved to storm out. My plan was cut short though when I stumbled and fell over the trashcan seated beside the small desk I was passing. I wanted to just fall out on the floor, and lay there to regain my pride , but he was already by my side breaking my fall. I ignored the electricity that followed his touch and burned m skin, and tried to pretend that m heart didn’t putter when I inhaled his scent. He was as much intoxicating as he was nauseating to me. I hated the way he got to me.

“ Thank you.” I pushed away from him and cursed my damn foot, which was beginning to throb as a result of my stubbed toe. I winced as I lifted my leg to retrieve the ‘bad’ shoe and sighed as it slid off my foot.

“ Bee you alright?”

“ I’m fine Justin, thank you.” I could have been a little nicer, but I didn’t feel all that obliged to be so. I looked over at Willow and expected to find a victorious smirk, you know the one that follows when the other woman obviously feels she won- only I found her biting her lip and cocking her head to the side, and it appeared that she was….sniffing.

I looked back at Justin, but he hadn’t even noticed, his eyes were still on me. I didn’t like the way my knees buckled under his gaze, but I was even more disturbed by Willow. I doubted it before, but it really does appear to be that she is sniffing.

“If you’ll excuse me…” I tried to move, but Justin took my hand and stopped me from going. I hadn’t felt his touch in a week, but it felt like it was only yesterday. I remembered it clear as day. His hands moving up my thighs, underneath my skirt..shit, what am I doing..focus.

“ Can I talk to you?” He was close, too close for comfort, and his breath sent goosebumps up my arm. I reveled in his presence for a moment, before I jerked my arm away and eyed Willow once more. Now she was smiling, that Mona Lisa smile, the one where it’s like she’s on to something, but you can’t figure out what it is.

“ You should really get back to Willow.” I hissed back, hating the way my eyes went distinctively to his lips. He licked them. I damn near died. I hate this man.

“ Butthead…give me a minute.” I crinkled my nose at the term of endearment and allowed Justin to pull me in the direction of what appeared to be a conference room. When we were safely inside, he settled me against the table and moved to close the door. He looked at me, then opened it again.

“ Yo Butthead…come ‘ere!” Not even a second later, Willow bounced into the frame of the door. Her eyes went to me, they smiled, then met with Justin’s. He didn’t even say a word, and she bursted out laughing, something I definitely wasn’t expecting.

“ If you think I’d sleep with this pimpled ass joke…you’ve GOT to be on something! I wouldn’t touch his dick with a ten foot po…..” I didn’t realize I was laughing until I caught the way Justin’s eyes flashed towards me. He looked completely embarrassed, but relieved all the same.

“That’s enough.” He smirked, pushing her out the door and closing it behind her. I settled in my laughter and watched as he blushed from across the room. “ Her mouth is vicious. And my ass doesn’t have pimples!”

“ I would hope not.” I chuckled and watched as he crossed over to me. The look in his eyes told me he missed me, looked over me like they wished to take what they could from this moment as long as I was here. My heart jumped, and I sighed softly when he took my face in his hands and kissed me gently. His lips danced over mine like a soft petal, and his tongue added a warmth to my mouth that only came when he was inside it. I melted against him, and just like that, I was yielded in his arms. I missed his mouth, I missed his arms, I missed him. It had only been a week, but it felt like forever.

“ I’m sorry Bee.” He spoke in between kisses, and it was like he was apologizing for murder. He sounded so sincere, his kisses felt so soft, it was a wonder I even found the mind to reflect on what he was saying. But I could hear his plea through his words of apology and I wondered how he’d feel if he really did something wrong, something bigger than going a week without coming around. I didn’t even offer a response, just marveled in his kisses, wanting to feel him closer…needing to feel him inside of me. I pulled away from him, my thoughts scaring me but thrilling me all the same. I never felt such a need, nothing like this ever came over me. I was up against his conference room table, and I didn’t give a second thought to the fact that I would give myself to him hear and now. I wanted him that much. I wrapped my arms around his neck and I leaned up to kiss him, I felt my shoe drop from my grasp and allowed him to left me up and wrap my legs around his waist.

“ What are you doing here?” he was searching my eyes, and I didn’t even try to hide my desire, or all the things that I knew shown threw them. He just looked at me, his hands holding tight onto me, his lips placing soft kisses against my mouth. This feeling was surreal, had me wanting this moment to last forever, it was even feeding my desire and his fingers nor his manhood was nowhere close to pushing inside of me. He made my juices run wild by just looking at me, had my heart going crazy by just touching me, had my resistance fleeing me with one word from his mouth.

“ I broke my shoe.”

“ I missed you Bryne… I…” he just stopped and kissed me, his mouth succeeding in finishing off his words. It didn’t even matter that I hadn’t seen him in a week. All that mattered was that I was in his arms, taking in his scent, melting with each kiss, falling…