Chapter 12b
“Can I come in?” I sighed heavily and positioned myself between the door and its frame. I let my eyes fall over her, and instantly regretted the decision when I felt the familiar heat begin to rise. I hadn’t seen her in about a week, and the way my eyes moved over her allowed me to know they weren’t very appreciative of the fact. I swallowed down hard, and tried to retain my control. I shouldn’t have opened the door.
“ Scoopers… it’s late…” It was a half-hearted attempt; the fucking snake in me was luring me away from what I was trying to do. I wanted to make her go away, make the feeling that was slowly crawling its way back into my groin disappear like it was never known there. But it wouldn’t leave, and neither would she, and as much as I wanted to make them go- I was slowly willing them to stay. I licked my lips and squeezed on the door handle. I was contemplating just slamming this door and never looking back. It would mean losing Belinda, the one constant in my life for eight years, but it would bring me one step closer to Bryne.
“ Isn’t it always.” She purred, and moved into me, her hands smoothing down my bare chest. I welcomed the feeling, but cursed it all the same. This fucking shit was intoxicating, and it was dampening my control. She knew it too, as she placed her kisses down my neck, across my chest and moved her hands into the space of my shorts. I grabbed for her hand, trying to get her before she got me, but her hand wrapped around the length of me so fast, and started working it’s way up and down my shaft that I almost forgot what I felt like when her hand wasn’t on me.
“ Scoop..” I grunted and let her push me back inside the room. Her lips claimed mine instantly and had me forgetting what it was I was trying to keep away from. Her breath was hot against my skin, and it meshed well with her aggressive kisses. I hated that I was giving into them, hated that I was giving into her, and the resistance that I had just a moment ago had up and left me and was probably laughing at me far off in the distance. It probably matched the voices in my head that taunt me, challenged me to think that I could ever have Bryne. She was this woman’s best friend, this woman who just took me into her mouth and is now massaging the fuck out of my dick with her tongue. Belinda knows what I like, that’s why she’s giving it to me, and the shits too good to turn away from. That’s what my mind keeps telling me, that’s why my body keeps responding, and that’s why when I think about all that I want- I realize that I can’t have it.
“ I’ve missed you Jay.” I look down and watch as her tongue flicks across the head of me, her eyes watching me in that bold manner that always had me wondering how the fuck she does it. It was the same look she gave me that night she came into my room, the same look she gives me everytime I’m with her and she’s got me at the edge of my fucking insanity, that same look that reminds me of who I’ve been these last eight years. I settle into my couch and watch as she stands to undress herself. My eyes don’t hesitate to watch her and they do until she stands completely naked, willing, and ready.
“You miss me Jay?” she always asks me this, and it’s never that I miss her, it’s just that I want her. What kills me is that it’s not even what I want, it never has been, its that I know I can have it. I can have her. Whenever I want, However I want, and the shits never uncertain. That’s what I want. The certainty. The knowing that no matter what I can have it. Belinda gives me that. Cameron gives me that. I can’t get that from Bryne. I don’t really want it the way I have it now with her, but I want her to be certain about me. The shits crazy really because I can tell it in her kiss, in the way that she looks at me, in the way that she responds to me, that with every movement forward she’s taking at least three steps back. She’s not certain she wants me.
“ Come here Scoop.” I lick my lips and watch as she walks towards me, I already know she’s ready for me, and my dick already knows how its going to feel when she slides down on it. This is the shit I know. I don’t know about Bryne, and the more I want to know, the more I realize I don’t. But Belinda, I know her.
“ Fuuuuuccccccckk!”she hisses as she slides on top of me and her hips settle on me. I give her a moment to adjust to me, since I can feel that she’s spreading with every inch of me, but the need to release has me taking control instantly. She’s wet as fuck, and her body tenses as I guide her movements, feeling the slickness of her juices easing my way inside of her. I let the rhythm fall to a slow grind, but my mind can’t take the absence of activity, and its got me thinking about Bryne, and that’s some shit I don’t want on my mind right now.
“ I know you miss me Jay.” I don’t, I don’t even want this. I want to be filling Bryne’s insides, I want to be hearing Bryne’s moans of pleasure. I want that feeling of completeness, and fulfillment, the feeling I never had with Belinda, the feeling I always have whenever I’m even around Bryne. This shit is crazy. I know I’ll never have her, and I fucked up enough in the past that I might as well fuck the shit out of Belinda. At least she’ll be back, I know she will. I can’t even tell you if Bryne will talk to my ass tomorrow. Fuck this.
“ Yea.. Scoop..I fucking missed this!” I pound harder and harder into her, she screams louder and louder and I’m lost in my own thoughts. I miss her moans, I miss her orgasm, and I miss the feeling of contentment when I finally release. It wasn’t what I wanted, but it’s what I could always have
