Chapter 12
I can still taste her, and my lips aren’t even on her. She’s standing next to me, looking everywhere but at me, as we wait in a back alley for Lonnie to come around the corner with the sedan. I can’t keep my eyes off her, and I’m working like hell to try and behave. All I really want to do is lay her down and explore her body with my eyes, my mouth, my hands, but I know I have to hold back. I don’t know why I know this, but I just do. It’s like she’s working me and turning me into something I’m usually not. Like a fucking patient ass man. Usually I do what I want, when I want, but she really got me over here thinking about not doing something to her. Like a fucking whipped ass gentleman, she got me standing on this corner wanting her, but willing to respect her just to have her. She’s got me fucked up in the game, hard.
" So what are we gonna do?" I had to swallow down what I wanted to say, and instead offer a proper answer. Her eyes finally met mine, and she looked up expectantly like this entire night was left in my hands. I could easily see that it was left up to me to decide our next move, and there was no mistaking that she wants it just as bad as I do, but I wanted her to want more. I want more. I still haven’t stumbled upon why, I just do. If it meant going about this shit the right way, then that’s exactly what I’m planning to do. It’s something about her, that has me thinking a different way, acting a different way..hell it’s like I’m a different man.
" I wanna take you somewhere." I smiled and I didn’t miss the widening of her eyes. I watched as she tried to form the words of protest, and smirked to myself thinking how unbelievably attracted I was to her. I pulled her to me and placed a soft kiss on her mouth. What started off as a sweet and quick gesture slowly turned into an agonizingly tempting kiss that left both of us breathless and panting, had me wanting to abandon all my good intentions and opt for the least endearing ones. We broke the kiss, and I kept my lips next to her mouth, my hands rubbing up and down the soft skin of her naked arms.
" Trust me Bee." I know she thinks I’m just going to load her up and take her back to my hotel room, and I’m figuring that’s exactly what she wants. Only I know we’ll get back there, shit will go down, and in the morning- if not shortly after it’s all over- she’ll go right back to thinking of me as that self serving bastard I’ve been and I don’t want that. I gave her my word that when I finally had her, she would knows it’s never been or ever will be about fucking her, and I meant to stand by that. I know I could do that now, I could give her what I’ve been wanting to give her since it suddenly dawned on me that she was apart of my every day because I made her apart of my every day. That whole seeking forgiveness bullshit died down long ago, and it wasn’t until recently that I realized there was something more that I was after. I haven’t quite put together all that it is, I just know I want to have her, and I don’t want it to be like every other fucked up relationship. Looking at her now, I can see why my decision to wait was one worth making. The small smile that came across her lips, was enough to convince a fleet of men- and I was just one. Finally Lonnie pulled up and I laughed at the way her eyes lifted in surprise when I opened the door for her.
" You really think I’m a bastard?"
" Actually, my exact words were a ‘self-serving’ bastard." She smirked and I couldn’t help from laughing. She was a piece of work, and as much as I could see her trying to pull away from me, I could also see the pull that I had on her. When she realized she broke into a smile, she quickly turned her head and looked out the window. I settled in the seat next to her and watched the familiar streets as Lonnie made his way to my favorite after hour spot.
" So is this where you bring them?" I wanted to get mad, but I saw the way she lowered her eyes and chewed onto the side of her mouth. She was nervous, but more importantly she was embarrassed. I looked out the window and noticed that she assumed we were going to the hole in the wall inn across the street. Where I was really taking her was to my favorite all night diner Al Patti’s, he made the best corned beef sandwiches and he also happened to own that run down inn across the street. I grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the car, turning her to our true destination. Leaning in close, I felt her sharp intake of breath before I placed my mouth once again against hers. I kissed her until I felt her resistance fall and her body mesh willingly against mine. Pulling away, I motioned for Lonnie to go and check out the scene before we entered. We waited against the car for his nod, shortly after he signaled us in and before I moved to follow after him, I turned and whispered in ear.
" Even if I was going to have you tonight, I wouldn’t take you to no place like that. I’d give you the world before I gave you that." She looked up at me, my words obviously rendering her speechless. It was that look, right there in her eye, that had me wanting to show her that I was more than what she believed me to be. It had me more than willing to shuffle her into my favorite place, to show her a Justin she had yet to see, to make her fall…
" You are such a pig!" With a half piece of corned beef hanging out my mouth, I couldn’t exactly argue with her on that. I could hear Lonnie’s suppressed laugh, as he sat directly behind us pretending to be enthralled by the newspaper I was quite sure he wasn’t reading. He was probably more interested in us, or rather more interested in this new side of me. I caught that sideway glance he gave me when I corrected his thinking and instructed him to take us here as oppose to back to my hotel room. He wasn’t expecting that to be my next move, and to tell you the truth I wasn’t expecting it either. Then I heard her laugh, a hearty, unrestrained laugh, that broke through my momentary thought and damn near silenced the rest of the diner which had me chuckling behind it. It was the first time I ever heard her laugh, and I prayed that it wouldn’t be the last. I fucking loved the sound. It was music to my ears, and it made me smile like a damn fool, like a damn fool falling…
" And you’re a nit picker..pick up the damn sandwich and eat it!" she’d been eyeing the monstrosity for over five minutes since Brenda, the waitress, first slapped it down in front of her. She probably never had a sandwich that big or greasy, judging by the way she grabbed for her fork and knife. I looked at her like she was crazy before swapping the utensils and pushed the plate forward, now wasn’t a time for table manners, we were sitting in the corner of a back street diner- where you got down with the get down. I was surprised the damn place had utensils.
" No…I’m a lady."
" Does the lady eat sloppy joes..or greasy hamburgers..or damn good corned beef sandwiches?!" She laughed again, and I proceeded to smile through a stuffed mouth, which probably looked as terrible as it sounded.
" To tell you the truth..I haven’t in a while." My mouth dropped open and wondered how anyone could survive without essentials like that. What in the hell was she living for if she couldn’t chow down on some greasy ass food that’s probably no good for you but damn good all the same! I swallowed my food and took a swig of my corona, she had to be kidding me, really she had to be.
"So what do you eat on the regular? Sirloin and sushi?!" I teased and noticed that she wasn’t laughing along with me. " Wait. You can’t be serious..."
"It’s what… it’s what we like." She cleared her throat and as she did so my heart sank. She had a man. Fuck, why didn’t I already figure that?! She was gorgeous, had me going out of my mind like a damn buffoon, and I completely disregard the fact that she could already have some other man having her the way I want her. And here this man obviously treats her like a fucking queen and I got her in some dive ass diner. Fuck.
" So you gotta man?" Shit. I didn’t mean to sound so upset about it, much less disappointed. I was blowing my fucking cover and what made it all the more worse was that I didn’t care. I was more worried about hearing her answer, not even thinking about what would happen when she put to rest any doubt. I watched her face flow through a series of emotions, confusion, indecision, and felt my heart crack with every new emotion that surfaced. What did I think, what could I have possibly expected? That she would be mine for the taking, and that there was less meaning to the words ‘what goes around comes around’. Shit, I wrote the fucking song, I should have expected Karma to have something for my ass. "Fuck Bee..I didn’t even.."
" No..no, I don’t have a man." she sounded a little unsure about her words, but it didn’t stop my heart from leaping when I heard them. I smiled, beside myself, and instantly reached for my corona anxious to find something else for my mouth to do than the cheesy ass smile it was currently portraying. This night was going down in the fucking books as the night I turned in my fucking pimp card. I was acting like such a fucking dork. Like a virgin cornball who never even smelled the juices before, and I Justin Timberlake am a far, far cry away from that.
" Good, cuz I was still planning on taking him for all he got." I was a cocky ass bastard, by nature, but even I felt a little unsure about that last statement. She’s got me so twisted that I no longer know if I’m coming or going, and I long since realized that everything that used to hold true with all those other girls wasn’t going to ever fly with her. With Bryne, it was like a fucking brand new experience. Every day, shit...every fucking moment was a fucking wonder with this woman.
" Don’t kid yourself."
" You say that a lot."
" Only when it’s necessary." she gave me a boastful eye before leaning over to gather her sandwich in her mouth. She looked dam adorable, struggling to take a bite. I finished off my corona, watching her as she made a mess of herself and the corned beef sandwich that still dripped like it was just pulled off the grill. Shit, I love me some corned beef sandwiches but I think these greasy suckers finally met their match. Fuck..what am I saying??
" What?" she laughed, construing my puzzled look as a response to her last comment. I shook off my thoughts and concentrated on her, drawing up the ending of that last conversation in my mind.
" You know Bee, you play the part well." I smiled and watched as she dived in for another bite, her mouth covered in the special brown sauce that only Al Patti knew the secret to. I love that fucking sauce, and I wanted nothing more than to cross over to her and use my mouth to taste not only my favorite sauce, but also that beautiful mouth of hers. She just looked at me, taking her tongue across her mouth, making the act of cleaning her mouth a fucking notion of foreplay. I cleared my throat, shifting uncomfortably in my seat, wishing I could do more to sedate that feeling that’s beginning to once again build up inside of me. Damn she made me hot, and it always felt like I was about to blow my fucking whistle around her. It’s been a long time since I came across any woman who had that much power over me, I don’t even believe such a woman had ever existed before. There’s no one that comes to mind.
" Meaning?"
" You always say one thing..but your body tells me different" I wanted to be sharing that seat with her, just so I could show her exactly what I meant. I could just imagine my finger slipping back inside of her, swimming in the juices of her pleasure, moving back and forth within her, inside and out of her..
" Why are you looking at me like that?!" she was back to eating, or at least trying to since it looked like my words had choked her up, once again, a moment before. I hadn’t realized I was just staring, because I was only thinking about the way she’d feel with me tucked deep inside of her, how her moans would sound to my ear, how her skin would taste in my mouth.
" Why are you staring at me?."
" I’m not."
" Then how did you know I was staring if you weren’t looking equally as long?" she looked at me for a moment, then belted out laughing, her hair falling in front of her eyes, her hand moving to cover her mouth. She looked absolutely stunning, in an adorable, unforgettable kind of way. I thought my thoughts had me wanting more for this moment, but sitting here.... watching her try and master my favorite sandwich... in my favorite secret place that I would only take my mother... hearing her laugh, I figured that this, this right here with her was all that I needed.
