Chapter 11 b

I loved jazz music. I was sitting in our booth, watching the house band play, the chords of the music weaving in and out of me- soothing and relaxing all those kinks within me that came with the week. I loved Fridays. It was when I could finally reach my oasis, and all that transpired during the week could be easily forgotten. I could forget anything, staring up at Ronnie and the boys from my private corner, nursing my usual drink, closing my eyes and taking in those lonely chords and releasing my demons with them. Music did that for me, allowed me to take it in and release so much more. It was the one thing Miranda didn’t have to teach me about jazz, I found it out on my own. It was one thing I could bring to the table, my own passion for music and I loved, absolutely loved what it did for me. I lifted my glass to Ronnie, the bass player, who always winked towards me at the end of each session, and finished off the rest of its contents. The liquid poured down my throat, and I could feel the weariness of the day wash down with it. I was finally relaxing, and it felt good as hell.

" I’m beginning to think you have a problem." I closed my eyes, but it didn’t stop the voice from penetrating me, reaching down into the depths of me to tug at that unwanted, unwarranted desire that I tried so hard to conceal. He wasn’t suppose to be here, he wasn’t even suppose to be in New York. When I opened my eyes, I didn’t acknowledge him. He must have been standing behind me, which didn’t stop him from robbing my senses. His cologne filled me, his warmth surrounded me, and he hadn’t even touched me. I hated what he could do to me. It didn’t seem to matter that I had yet to formally respond to him, as he moved to take the seat across from me. Miranda’s seat. She wasn’t there tonight, in fact she had been gone all week- and I still wasn’t sure when she was suppose to be coming back. I had decided to come down to the club anyway, I needed to get out of the house- to escape my thoughts, but they seem to find me wherever I go. They always manifest and weaken my resolve, consuming me in the form of Justin. My eyes should have stayed glued somewhere else, but they couldn’t help themselves from looking across the table. I hated the way it felt like my eyes missed him, the moment they met with him it was like my heart sighed. He was staring at me, in that deep and intensified way of his that had me crossing my legs and squeezing together my thighs. Then the drumming in my stomach began and I could feel that cleverly hidden desire working its way up, daring me to try and stop it.

" Damn Bee.. I think I missed looking at you." the smile that played off his lips seemed so natural, like he hadn’t thought to try and conceal it. It made my heart jump, my fucking toes curl, had my tongue slipping out of my mouth to come across my lips. I hated him for the way he had my control slipping away from me.

" Justin what are you doing here?"

" I thought I might run into you." I wanted to believe that he was trying to be run his playboy game on me, but something about the way he was looking at me had me thinking he was serious. I finally tore my eyes from his and concentrated on the house band, hoping- wishing I could lose myself in the music before I completely lost myself in him. For a moment, there was silence, as the music played around us. I knew he was watching me, he was making no move to conceal it, and it unnerved me to the core.

"I thought you were in L.A."

" I was. Now I’m back. Did you miss me?"

" Don’t kid yourself." I wouldn’t exactly say miss, but I wouldn’t have predicted that he could have my insides jumping the way he has them, so it’s safe to say that I could be wrong. But I didn’t want to be wrong, I wanted to be right, because right would keep my simple life simple. If I was wrong, that would mean...I’m not even ready to delve into that.

" I see your back to your old ways." He mentioned towards me empty glass and I was too flustered with desire to even respond appropriately. I smirked to myself and signaled to Ray to bring me another drink. One was very much needed.

" You don’t know me."

" So give me a chance too." He looked so innocent, like he wasn’t the same man that Belinda always came crying to me about. I closed my eyes and tried to make myself see him in the light, that light that made me hate who he was, hate what he did- but when I opened my eyes he wasn’t the same. We just stared at each other, our eyes breaking only when I turned to thank Ray for the drink. By the time I turned back to reach for the glass, Justin had already swapped it and gulped it down.

" Would you like another one?"

" I’d like for you to stop." he spoke as if he knew me, like he had some kind of clue what he was talking about. The fact remains, though, that he doesn’t know me which made his suggestion even less valid. I didn’t have a problem, I had a recreational activity that sometimes got out of hand- but not enough to be overly concerned about.

"I’d like for you to leave."

" Come with me." I just smirked, he couldn’t be serious. And even if he was, what made him think that I was even willing to share this table with him any longer. The fact that I’m still sitting here has nothing to do with me wanting to be in his presence, it’s just that I was here first. This was my booth, the booth I shared with my girlfriend, the booth he came and sat inside of when I was already sitting here first. " I’m serious."

" I bet you are." He took his wallet out and dropped a big face bill, then stood to his feet. " I am." I looked at him and thought about how much of a bad thing it would be to follow him out that door. It would be the end of any innocent gestures and everything that followed be very much a result of own intent. That’s what scared me, there was no telling how far I would go with him and that fact that I already know I would go somewhere with him was indication enough that he had some type of power over me. He had to know, because not even a second later, he was at my side, lifting me to a standing position, and then his mouth was pressed to my ear.

" Trust me Bee..you’ll like what we’re about to do." I could just imagine what all that would entail, and I’d be lying if I said it didn’t want to go and find out. Before pulling a way he placed a soft kiss on my ear, his hands dropped to my waist and as he moved his kiss to my neck I could feel his fingers running against the exposed skin of my hip bone. I opened my eyes and looked around the club, hoping noone saw what was clearly transpiring between us. Everyone’s eyes were glued to the stage and noone seemed to even notice the way I was quivering uder his touch but him. " I missed you Bee.." and his hand slipped down the cloth of my black skirt and moved against the flesh of my thigh. I gasped when I felt his fingers at the side of my walls, tugging on the think material of my silk panties. I didn’t even care to look around before I brought my mouth to his and kissed him for the first time since that afternoon in my office. He tasted so good, his lips were just as soft and gentle against my own.

" Don’t.." I tried to plead, but I moaned instead and his fingers slipped into my panties and found there way to my center. He pushed inside of me and it felt like my juices came rushing forward, like his fingers commanded me to come forth.

" Are you going to come?" he kissed my mouth, then my neck, and I leaned against him for support as his fingers worked their way inside of me..then out, then once again..back inside. I couldn’t believe this was happening, not here, not now..but it was. And I could do nothing to stop it. " Are you?"

" Yes..yes." I panted and almost cried when he moved his fingers out of me, placing my skirt back down. His eyes smiled down at me, and his free hand brought me closer to him as he leaned down and kissed me. Then he moved away, staring at me as I tried to regain my control. My insides missed his fingers, my mouth missed his lips, and it was without question that I was undone. I watched as he tasted me on his finger and nearly died at the sight of it. He bit the bottom of his lip, yielding a half smile as he grabbed my hand to follow him out the club. I didn’t think I’d be able to walk, much less make it across the club and out the door with him. Just when I thought I was going to make it, he leaned down and whispered;

" You taste good Bee."