Chapter 35

Edge of Desire

Orlando

Spring Break 2002

Justin watched Nicole from the corner of his eye. “I still can’t believe she’ll be turning one in a week.” she murmured, referring to Joey’s daughter Brianna. After JC’s phone call earlier, Joey’s girlfriend; Kelly had called immediately after and before Justin realized it, he was driving himself and Nicole over to Joey’s. Kelly had insisted they stay for dinner, and now 4 and half hours later, they were on their way back to Justin’s house. She glanced over at him with a small smile. “It seems like only yesterday when I saw her in the hospital. She was so tiny.” she finished.

“How does she have so much energy?” he mused as he got the image of baby Brianna crawling all over the house. He kept his eyes on the road. “I don’t even have that type of energy.” he admitted with a light chuckle.

He heard her light laughter echo through the car. “Yeah, I don‘t either.” He gave her a quick glance, her head rested against the seat, she turned to face him, and placed a strand of hair behind her ear. She gave him a wide smile. “You have to admit, she’s adorable.”

Justin met her gaze, and felt something deep within stir, as she looked up at him, her eyes dancing with mischief and that beautiful smile. He should be feeling the pain, anger and resentment Britney had left him with, but at that moment he found himself feeling warm, and hopeful as he kept his eyes on Nicole soft features. He swallowed. “Yeah, she is.” and looked back out at the road in front of him.

He was confused. Britney had meant everything to him. He would have married her. Justin had been more than ready to spend his life with that girl. But now any thoughts of her, left a bad taste in his mouth. He was left with the realization that he had no fucking clue about relationships. Britney had blindsided him, he thought they were happy, he was wrong. The past 4 years had meant absolutely nothing. He gripped the steering wheel a little bit tighter.

“Thanks for going with me.” he heard Nicole say.

Justin glanced once again at her. This is where he was confused. He was reeling in emotions when it came to Britney, but in the past few hours, he also had not been able to stop thinking about wanting to kiss Nicole. How the hell was it possible for him be thinking about another woman after what happened to him? In fact, it hadn’t crossed his mind in the past few weeks. Sure he had been out every night at clubs, but it wasn’t because he was looking for someone new. He had gone out to drink, and distract himself, not in search for another relationship or even a one night stand. Women were the last thing on his mind...until Nicole came barging into his damn room. He should have been completely turned off by the idea of any woman, but yet there he was thinking about Nicole.

He blinked out of his thoughts and teased. “It was either: me coming with you or you walking.”

“I could have had Joey or Kelly come get me.” she quickly shot back with a smirk.

He chuckled and looked back out at the road. “There’s no winning with you is there?”

“Nope.” she answered quickly.

He shook his head, but didn’t reply. He gave her a small frown, and Nicole reciprocated with an innocent smile. For the next ten minutes, neither one spoke as Justin drove. The silence that hit the car wasn’t awkward, on the contrary-it was almost peaceful. And it made him realize that maybe he had been stubborn with how he had been dealing with things lately. Nicole had somehow shocked him out if it. He knew it was going to take time, but so far she had been the only one capable of telling him how much of an ass he’d been and truly taking it to heart. He found himself watching her again from the corner of his eye, she brought her legs up to the seat to rest her chin on her knees and look out the passenger window, the rain had picked up as the sun had gone down.

It only took him a few minutes to realize something was bothering her. He forgot about his problems for a few moments, as he racked his brain to earlier in the evening at Joey’s. She had acted as if everything was okay, but he also knew she was the master at acting like everything was fine even when they weren’t. He made a right turn at the green light and decided to ask. “What‘s wrong?”

“Hmm?” Nicole said distractedly.

This was different from earlier in his kitchen when she had gotten quiet and lost in her thoughts. Then she had looked as if she was trying to come up with the perfect way to talk to him, now she just almost looked...lost. And as if a light bulb came on, he remembered how uncomfortable she’d looked when Kelly had asked her about school and how flustered she had acted when he had asked her about it at lunch too. Yes she had talked about it school, but as soon as he brought up grad school, she dropped the subject.

He made another right turn on his street, his gated driveway visible. “What’s wrong?” he repeated. By then the car had come to a stop and he rolled down the window to punch in the code that opened the gate. He hit the gas petal and drove into the large driveway.

She shrugged. “Nothing’s wrong.”

Justin drove the car into the garage, and put it into park, the key still in the ignition. He took his seatbelt off and turned to face her. He frowned. “You sure?”

Nicole took her seatbelt off as well and said. “Yeah. Why?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. You just looked a bit...distracted.” he observed. He knew he had to try and play this right, if he was to find out what was really going on in her head. He shot in the dark and asked. “Is this about grad school?”

She looked at him in surprise. “What?”

He tried to hide his smile. “You changed the subject when Kelly asked you about it at dinner.” he stated.

“I-I did not.” she stammered, but reached for the car door handle.

Justin was quicker and grabbed her elbow. She frowned at him. “You changed the subject when I asked you about it too.” he told her. He felt her jump slightly at the sound of the thunder.

“We should get inside before we get poured on-”

He raised an eyebrow. “We’re still in the car and inside a garage...I think we‘ll be okay.” he reminded. “And don’t try and change the subject.” he added. “Weren’t you the one telling me earlier today to deal with your problems instead of pretending they don’t exist?” he mocked in a serious tone.

She glared. “This is not the same thing!” she exclaimed and removed her elbow from his grip.

“Maybe not.” he said with a shrug. “But it’s pretty obvious something is bothering you.”

She chewed her lower lip. “Nothing is bothering me.”

Justin shook his head. “See...I don’t believe that.” he said with a small frown. “You might be able to fool everyone else...but you can‘t fool me.” he stated, as the frown turned into a light smile. He placed his finger on the lock button.

“Justin...” she started as she watched his finger push the button. She quickly reached for the door, and tried to unlock it, but it was no use. “Justin!” she yelled.

“Child proof door locks.” he stated calmly.

“Let me out Timberlake.” she ordered in a strained voice.

Justin shook his head again. “Nope.”

He watched her try and unlock the door once again. She turned and glared. “Fine.” she said as she leaned back against the seat and crossed her arms in front of her chest. “I have no place to be.”

He shrugged. “I don’t either.” and leaned back against his seat as well. For the next five minutes, they sat in silence, as the rain outside poured. Justin knew it probably wasn’t the best technique in getting her to tell him what was wrong, but it was a little payback for the glass of ice-water from earlier that day. Finally he decided to break the silence, he sighed. “Eventually one of us is going to want to go pee.” He smiled to himself when he heard the light giggle escape her lips. He looked over at her, and decided to try again. “C’mon Nic, talk to me.” His eyes still locked on her beautiful face. She sat inches from him, her head against the seat as she pressed her lips together and watched him.

“You really don’t have to do this J.”

“Do what? Listen? I wouldn’t be asking if I didn’t want to know.” There was a long pause before Justin asked. “Obviously whatever is bothering you has to do with grad school. What is it that you are so afraid of?”

Nicole once again looked surprised at his assertion, but she did not deny it. She nervously chewed on her lower lip, and Justin knew she was trying to collect her thoughts. After a few moments, she finally spoke up. “I started to do some research on some programs.”

“What type of programs?” he asked.

“Teaching abroad.” she informed him. “And the programs I’ve looked into require a masters-not all but the ones I‘m interested in do...which obviously I don‘t have it.” she paused for a split second. “So for the past few weeks I’ve been going back and forth about it. Because to be honest, I don’t know if I want to go back to school.” She took in a shaky breath and asked. “How long did it take to get my bachelors?” Justin didn’t respond. He knew she wasn’t done venting yet. “God knows how long it’ll take me this time.” she murmured to herself.

“But...?” Justin pushed.

She sat up straight, and ran her fingers through her hair. “But teaching abroad is something that I’ve wanted to do ever since I could remember.” she stated, a hint of excitement in her eyes, but it quickly vanished. She shook her head and laughed nervously. “I’m more confused than I thought, I don‘t think I‘m making any sense.” She got quiet again. “You know this is the first time, I’ve actually said any of this out loud? I mean I had mentioned it to Trace a few weeks ago, but I didn’t tell him my reasons.” She looked over at him with those brown eyes, that gave away her fear, insecurities and confusion. He had the sudden urge to reach out and wrap her in his arms.

He was supposed to be her best friend, but he had been so consumed in feeling sorry for himself, that he hadn’t bothered to ask about what was going on in her life. He wanted to hear her out, maybe there was something he could or say to help. He opened his mouth to speak but was beat by his phone ringing. He frowned before he glanced over at her. Were they ever going to get to finish a conversation today?

She must have been thinking the same thing because she said with a small smile. “I guess that’s the theme for the day.”

Justin sighed as he reached into his front pocket for his cell phone, and placed it to his ear. “Hello?” He closed his eyes, and when he opened them a few seconds later, Nicole had reached across him to try and unlock the door. “Nicole!” he yelled, and quickly grabbed her wrist. She didn’t pull all the way back, instead stood inches from his face, a smirk on her features. He barely heard the voice over the phone. “What? Hi Mom.” he said distracted. He glared over at Nicole. He wrinkled his nose. “What?” asked, unable to understand what Lynn was saying on the other line. “Mom, you‘re cutting out.”

Yet Justin eyes lingered down to Nicole’s soft inviting lips, he fought the sudden urge to lean in and kiss them. He moved his gaze away from her mouth, and back to her eyes. The smirk from a few seconds had disappeared, and instead she was looking at him intensely. And there they went again; doing a one-eighty on their relationship. His heart started to pound faster, harder, when he let go of her wrist and instinctively cupped her cheek with his now free hand.

He blinked when he heard Lynn’s familiar voice on the phone, but it was only for a brief moment. He barely heard Lynn tell him, she would try and call him back in a little bit and then the call dropped. But Justin only paid half attention, as Nicole closed her eyes and turned her nose and mouth toward his hand. He absently dropped his phone on the dashboard of the car. He felt her press her lips into the moist hollow of his hand.

“Nicole.” His voice was hoarse, quiet. Intense.

“Did you just hang up on Lynn?”

He licked his lips and his hand dropped. “No, bad reception.” He couldn’t stay away any longer. He needed to feel her lips against his. She opened her eyes again, and Justin closed in on her, his nose inches from hers, his mouth a hairbreadth away. He heard her suck in her breath in anticipation. “Nicole.” he repeated, but kissed the corner of her mouth, in such a light teasing touched that he felt her shiver.

“Yeah?” she murmured.

He stared hard, and became overwhelmed with feelings he couldn’t begin to explain. All he knew was that he needed to have her near, he needed to kiss her, hold her, touch her. His lips hovered above hers, his nose alongside hers. He knew, that just like him, she wanted to forget about her problems...at least for a little while. “Nothing.” he murmured. “Like I told you earlier, it‘s hard to explain.” he added half-jokingly.

“We really didn’t get a chance to finish that conversation.” she reminded.

Justin’s eyes locked with hers. “We can finish it now.”

“Yeah?” she repeated.

“Yeah.” he answered, and then without another second thought he kissed her, an honest to goodness, lips everywhere, tongue-teasing kiss. God, he forgotten how amazing it felt to kiss her. She dipped her head back and opened her mouth and Justin marveled at the taste and texture of her, so soft, so wet, so eager, so different, yet exactly what he remembered.

“Mhmmm.” she murmured when his lips moved to her jaw, her neck. But he cut off her moan with another kiss that left her clinging to him like a lifesaver. Justin could hear the excited little rush of both their breaths, the pants, the moans, the shift from casual exploration to urgent questing.

They were close, but not close enough, he wanted to reach out and pull her into his lap, but wasn’t sure how to go about it. His thoughts were so consumed with the touch of her mouth that he couldn’t seem to think straight. Nicole seemed to once again pick up on his thoughts because she crawled over the console and into his lap, her knees sunk into the leather on either side his hips, and he heard her moan when she felt the hard and strained at the fly of his jeans. That was the damn effect this woman had on him. “You taste so good, so damn good.” he managed to say in a hot whisper. He brought his hands up and cupped her face between them, his lips still on hers. Justin pushed his tongue between her lips again and met the wet heat of her mouth as she sighed with pleasure.

“Let‘s get inside...” she said into his mouth.

He broke from her mouth and dropped one hand, as the other stroked one side of her cheek with the knuckles. Justin knew what she was implying with her words, the tension between them had rapidly changed the moment his lips touched hers. He blindly took the key out of the ignition, and placed his hand on the door handle to push it open, but it would not budge. “What the fuck?” he murmured and tried it again. Nothing. The door would not open.

She laughed, their breaths mingling together. “Child proof door locks.” she reminded in a mocking tone. Shit, he forgotten he had done that. He disabled the door locks as she continued to teased. “Guess your plan backfired.”

“Shut up.” he said and kissed her, hard. He smiled against her lips when he heard her whimper. He forgotten how sexy that sound was coming out of her mouth. He was glad he still had that effect on her, even though it had been about 5 years since he had kissed her. His hands slid up her back, he ached to touch her bare skin.

“Justin.” she murmured.

“Hmm?”

“Lets get inside.” she repeated.

“In a minute.” he growled, and covered her mouth with his again. He licked at her lips and teased his tongue into her until they both moaned in pleasure. Yes, he wanted to get inside, but he also wanted to just continue kissing her. He wanted to make this last. He was in no hurry.

Nicole whined into his mouth. “J...”

“What...?”

“Why don’t you take me inside?” she suggested and nipped at his lower lip. He only groaned and she then added. “Now.”

Justin broke from her lips, and furrowed his eyebrows at her. “You’re so fucking demanding.” But pushed his door open and shifted her from his lap, Nicole’s feet hit the pavement and she glared at him. “What?” he snapped. “It’s the damn truth.” as his hand came around her body to shove the door close, her scent enveloping him.

“Jackass.”

He snorted back his laughter. “Right, I’m a jackass.” He smirked. “But apparently you want this jackass to take you inside.”

She lifted her chin up defiantly. “I changed my mind.”

Justin raised an eyebrow. “You have?” But he pressed against her, his body trapped her body against the car. Nicole put one foot between his, and struggled against him as she tried and push away from him. As she did that her hip pressed against his crotch and she looked wide eyed at him, when she felt the results of the friction she created when she tried to break free, his dick hard in his jeans. He tried to hide the smile, he knew now it was about who caved in first. “You sure?” he asked. He watched her open her mouth to answer, but quickly snapped it shut when they both heard the phone ringing from inside the car. “Son of a bitch.” he cursed. He knew that was Lynn calling back.

“You should have listened to me.” she said in an amused tone.

Justin ignored her snotty remark and sighed. “I could just ignore it.”

Nicole pressed her palm to his cheek. “No, don‘t do that.” She gave him a smile. “Besides, I changed my mind remember?” Yet her eyes danced with mischief as she slid from between him and the car.

Justin opened the door and grabbed his cell phone from the dashboard. He quickly turned and faced her. “I can change it back.” he said confidently as the phone still ringed.

“Oh yeah?” she challenged with a smirk, she had began to take a few steps backwards toward the door that led to the main house.

“Yeah.” Justin said without missing a beat, his eyes looked her up and down for a few seconds.

She chewed on her lower lip. “Hmm. We’ll see about that.” She nodded to the phone in his hand. “Why don’t you answer that first.”

Justin narrowed his eyes. “Brat.” he called out as she walked into the house. He quickly put the phone to his ear. “Hello?” he answered. “Sorry Mom, didn’t hear the phone ring at first.” he mumbled, and followed Nicole into the house.