Chapter 31
Walk Away
February 2007
A week later....
Justin’s eyes fluttered open when he heard the beeping. He groaned and blindly reached out for his phone on the coffee table. He grasped it, and yawned, he was laying on the couch in his living room. He yawned again. He hadn’t meant to pass out the couch, he had plans to go out with a few buddies. The phone beeped at him again, he frowned to himself and glanced down at it. “Shit.” he muttered. He had slept longer than what he had thought. It was now 2:14a.m in the morning. He had landed in Los Angeles around 10:30p.m and had been more than ready to go out and have a few drinks, let out some steam.
After his last show in New York the week before, he had flown back to Memphis and had spent a few days with his family. The week off was just want he needed to get his mind back on track, especially after the last day in New York...
He blinked back to the present when the phone beeped again. He didn’t bother checking his inbox. He was sure it was one of his buddies wondering where he was at. Instead he put the phone back on the coffee table, and shut his eyes again. He would reply tomorrow, suddenly he wasn’t much in the mood to go out. It was past 2am, the clubs and bars would be closing soon. What was the point now? And besides his bed was calling his name. It was Thursday. He had 3 more days left of full 8 hours of sleep before he had to fly out to Ohio for the next show.
Thursday. Today was Nicole’s birthday. He tried to ignore the ache in his chest. He had called her and left a message, wishing her a Happy Birthday. A part of him had been relieved when her voicemail had picked up. He wasn’t sure what he would have said if she had answered. Especially since they hadn’t talked since New York.
In fact the New York trip seemed like a lifetime ago...
He thought back to how he had woken up alone the morning after his show. How he laid in the king size bed, angry, frustrated and tired. How he wished he could had made Nicole magically appear next to him. He remembered how he laid there starring at the alarm clock for what seemed hours, watching each minute click by slowly, willing himself to fall back asleep. But he hadn’t been able to. His mind had been too wired. He had not expected to be alone. Things had changed too damn quickly in less than 24 hours. Instead of waking up next to her (after a good nights sleep) he had woken up every hour at the hour, crankier and crankier.
Justin brought his arms up, and placed them behind his head, his mind wondering to their last night in New York together. He still wasn’t sure how things turned sour. When they had left the club a little after 2 am, things were fine. In fact, Justin along with Nicole, Rachael, Marty, 2 of his back up dancers; Michelle and Nick and Kevin-his musical director, and of course Eric from security had gone back to Justin’s room for pre-birthday celebration cake for Nicole. Earlier in the evening Justin had made the suggestion to Rachael about seeing if there was any possible way to get a birthday cake in such short notice. And of course Rachael worked her magic and got a cake. She even managed to get it in the room before everyone else did.
They had all been drinking and talking for a few minutes, when Rachael brought the cake out. In spite of how he felt about everything, he found himself smiling as he thought back to Nicole’s reaction when she had seen the cake. She had smiled widely over at him from across the room, the glassy look still in her eyes from the alcohol she had been indulging through the night, as Rachael brought the cake out. Justin had stood back wanting her to enjoy the moment. She had looked happy. And as everyone sang “Happy Birthday”, he caught her eyes with his, grinning back, but wondered once again why he had messed up a good thing all those years ago.
He sighed as he sat up, not only had he messed up those years ago, but he had screwed up that night in New York as well. One stupid answer. One stupid mistake on his part had ruined everything. He should have just told her the truth when she had asked.
Instead of being honest about the texts from Jessica when she had asked, he had panicked. It had happened right after everyone had left for the night. He had absently sat his phone on the coffee table, walking everyone to the door, while Nicole began cleaning up the empty plates and cups. As he made his way back toward her to help, he heard his phone beep with a new message. Once he was standing a few feet away from her, his gaze met hers, she stood there with his phone in her hand.
“You have a new message...” she barely whispered.
He had stood there awkwardly for a few moments, before taking the phone from her and mumbling. “Thanks.” He hadn’t bother checking. He knew who the message was from, and he had felt like an idiot for not keeping his phone with him.
Silence had hit the room, and neither one had said a word as they had continued to clean up. Finally Nicole broke the silence. “I-uh...who’s Jessica?” she had asked quickly and nervously.
And for reasons he still didn’t understand, he couldn’t bring himself to tell her who Jessica really was, and how he had met her. Instead he had tried brushing it off as if it was nothing. Nicole had known better, the look in her eyes told him that.
She had shook her head in disgust, as she placed the empty plates on the counter. “Fine.” she had said pressing her lips together. “You don’t owe me any explanations, you’re right.” And before he even realized it, she had grabbed her purse, and heels and quickly made her way toward the front door.
“What are you doing?” he had called after her.
“I’m going back to my room Justin.” she had stated with cold eyes.
“Nicole...c’mon. Don’t do this. There’s nothing-”
She had interrupted him. “I’m not doing anything. I’m going back to my room.” He had reached out for her, but she had been quicker and took a step back from him. “I‘m just going to go. We’ve both have had a little too much too drink, and I don’t think talking right now is such a good idea.” And before Justin had a chance to reply, she had walked out of the suite, slamming the door behind her.
But they hadn’t talked the next day. She had left. She had managed to get a flight out of New York early the next morning. Not that he was surprised, she had been pissed. She had a right to be. He had been stupid. But as the day progresses he had began to feel angry. It was all or nothing with her. There was no in between, as soon as she realized she wasn‘t going to get a quick answer, she shut him down. And so instead of spending the past week together like they had talked about, he had spent it in Memphis, and she had stayed in Los Angeles, working.
And instead of being in Wilmington with her, celebrating her birthday like they had planned. He was alone, wondering if she was having a good time out with Rachael or if she was feeling as miserable as him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nicole got up from the couch and stumbled towards Rachael’s kitchen. She was thirsty. She grabbed a glass from the clean dishes in the sink, and reached for the pitcher of cold water in the fridge. She leaned against the counter as she gulped the water down. The room was moving, maybe not as much as it was earlier in the evening, but enough for her to realize she was still drunk. Why had she let Rachael and her co-workers convice her to get drunk? Yes, she knew it was her birthday, but she hadn’t planned on drinking. In fact, she had planned on staying in. But no, Rachael couldn’t seem to understand that.
Rachael had called her early that afternoon, and demanded she be dressed and ready by 10pm. They were going out to celebrate her birthday. No excuses. Nicole had gotten home from work and grudgingly change. Rachael had shown up right on time, and they had met up with a few of Nicole’s co-workers. Before she even sat down at the club, drinks were being put in front of her, and as the night progressed, Nicole began to forget about everything that was going wrong in her life as she drank and took birthday shots.
And now instead of being in her own bed, she stood in the guest house Rachael lived at, in her dress, wishing she would have asked for a taxi. Instead she let Rachael drive, and they weren’t even half way to Justin’s house, when Nicole realized she would be spending the night. Rachael had been as intoxicated as Nicole. It was surprising they hadn’t been pulled over. Once they had walked into the house, Rachael had slowly made her way toward her bedroom, leaving Nicole alone in the living room.
Nicole washed the glass and placed it back with the clean dishes. She rested against the counter, and sighed. She never dranked this much. Usually she knew when to stop, but not tonight. As soon as she began to feel the alcohol in her system she knew it was the only way to forget about the past week. To forget about New York, and Justin. And it had worked, until now. She frowned to herself. “Why do you torture yourself?” she asked outloud.
Maybe water wasn’t what she needed to be drinking. Maybe what she needed was more Patron. She chewed on her lower lip and glanced around the dim kitchen. She was sure Rachael had a stash somewhere...
She was tired of thinking about Justin. She was tired of crying. She was just tired. She sighed again as she forgot about the Patron and quietly tried to make her way back to the couch. She sat back down, and took in a shaky breath as she looked out of the patio door which lead into the backyard, jumping slightly when she heard the thunder. She frowned, as she kept her gaze out into the backyard, thunder meant rain. Great, at least it would match her mood.
Why couldn’t she stop thinking about him? Truth of the matter was Nicole missed him, as much as she hated to admit it, she missed the bastard. She was still mad and hurt, but that didn’t matter. She missed his presence, his voice, his mouth, his touch. She wished for a split second, she could let her pride go and call and tell him she didn’t care about anything but them being together. But Nicole knew herself better than that, and knew she wouldn’t. It just wasn’t her. But God, how she missed him. For the past week all she had thought about was being wrapped up in his arms, to feel his hot skin against hers. Right now, that’s all her body wanted. Her body suddenly ached for him. It wasn’t as if this was the first time she had been apart from him. She had gone weeks, months, years without him in her bed and been fine. The only difference now was she had set her mind that things would be different this time around.
She was intoxicated. She wasn’t thinking straight. This was dangerous. It was a good thing he wasn’t home or she would make a fool of herself. She was brought out of her thoughts when she heard the familiar barking. She stood back up, and walked toward the patio door. She heard the barking again. Nicole wrinkled her nose, that was weird, she was sure Rachael had said Buckley and Brennan had flown back to Memphis with Justin. She slid the door open and walked out. Justin’s two boxers stood a few feet away.
Nicole felt something in her heart twist. If the dogs were there, that meant he was there too. Brennan, ran the opposite way, but Buckley saw her, he barked and made his way toward her recognizing her. Nicole smiled despite herself and bend down to pet him. “Hi baby.” she cooed. He barked again. “When did you get here?” she asked, as if he would respond.
“Buckley! C’mon get back-”
Nicole silently stood back up, when she heard his voice stop at mid sentence. She couldn’t do this. Not right now. Not when she was still under the influence of alcohol. She didn’t need for him to see her this way. The alcohol was still running freely through her veins and knew she could say things she would not able to take back. He stared at her, but didn’t say a word, yet he didn’t look as surprise to see her, as she was to see him.
“I didn’t know you were back in town.” Nicole blurted out. She didn’t know what else to say.
Justin rubbed the back of his neck nervously, looking away from her to look down at Buckley. He cleared his throat. “Yeah....I landed a few hours ago.” He bend down and rubbed the back of Buckley’s ears, silence settling between them.
Nicole jumped at the sound of the thunder again, and felt a few drops of water on her bare shoulders. “I should go back inside, it looks like it‘s about to pour...” she muttered raising her eyes up to the night sky. The mixture of the alcohol in her system and nervousness, made her heart thump rapidly in her chest. When she looked back at him, she caught him watching her with those intense blue eyes of his. Nicole felt something in the pit of her stomach stir. She needed to get back inside, where she would be away from him. Where she didn’t have him so close where she could reach out and kiss him.
He glanced away and gave a small nod in agreement. “Yeah...”
“Goodnight.” she heard herself say, but a part of her wanted to stay right where she was. Inspite of everything that happen in New York, she wanted him. It was unthinkable now, but she wanted him. Every nerve in her body called out for him. This was the Patron talking. She knew it was, at least that’s what she kept telling herself. If she had been sober, she would be thinking about how hurt she felt about everything that happened between them. She blinked back to the present when she felt more drops of water hit her skin. She glanced back at him and opened her mouth, but shut it when she felt Buckley licking at her feet. She smiled and bend down in front of the dog. “You should get inside too.” she cooed.
“She’s right.” Justin said. Nicole looked up at him through her lashes. He continued jokingly. “Let’s try and avoid the muddy dog paws inside the house.” Nicole scratched the top of Buckley’s head before standing back up. “C’mon Buckley, time to get back inside.” Buckley didn’t have to be told twice, he trotted back toward the house.
“Goodnight.” Nicole repeated as she turned on her heel, toward the guest house.
“Nicole-” Justin called out.
Nicole turned and looked over her shoulder. Her heart ready to burst out of her chest as she tried to pretend she didn’t feel the electricity surround them. “Yea?”
“Happy Birthday.”
“Thanks.” she answered with a small smile, then gave a small gasp when she felt the rain hit her. “Okay, now it’s really time to get back inside.” she said amusingly.
Justin nodded in agreement. “Definitely.” She turned toward the house once again, but stopped when she heard his voice again. “Nic...I know things aren’t exactly...” he trailed off. “But do you want to come in for awhile?”
Before her brain could stop her mouth, the words slipped out. “Sure.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was the Jack Daniels that had made him do it. He had been ready to walk away, so close. Then she had smile, and something in the pit of his stomach made him think twice about saying goodnight. And it didn’t help that she looked damn sexy in that short strapless black dress. It shouldn’t surprise the type of effect she had over him. He could drowned in her. What was it about Nicole that destroyed his self-control? That made him act like a fool?
He wasn’t the type to drink alone, but the longer he sat in the living room in silence, lost in his own thoughts, the more he realized he needed a stiff drink. He was halfway through his second glass when the dogs had began to whine, he knew it was time for them to go out. He wasn’t drunk, hell he wasn‘t even feeling a buzz. But having a few glasses of Jack had helped relaxed him. So setting his drink down on the kitchen table, he took the dogs out, had he been surprise to see Nicole in his backyard? Yes and no. Rachael had briefly mentioned over the phone that she had plans to celebrate Nicole’s birthday.
He knew Nicole hadn’t shared anything about New York to Rachael. Usually Rachael’s nose would be in their business, but not this time. Which proved to him, Nicole was beyond hurt if she hadn’t confided in Rachael.
He had not expected her to agree to his invitation to join him inside, but she had. It had made sense as soon as she stepped inside, and Justin saw the familiar look in her eyes from a week ago-she had a few drinks in her, otherwise she would have said no. But without thinking twice he had offered her a drink, and now 45 minutes later, she sat in his kitchen, sipping on a glass of pure Jack.
Nicole took another slow sip of her glass, watching him through her lashes. They hadn’t really said much. They had sipped on their glasses, and talked vaguely about their past week. He had talked about the family back home, and she told him about the drama at work. They discussed the weather at some point. But stayed away from the subject that was on the tip of their tongues. Nicole knew she had the chance to walk away. But for the life of her, she didn’t know why she hadn’t. Nicole knew this was bad for her. She knew it was best to let it go, but Justin was like a force she couldn’t run from.
She took a longer swig of her glass, the alcohol settling into her bones. She needed to continue drinking if she was going to be here. It seemed to be the only way to calm her nerves. She was shaken out of her thoughts when she heard his husky laugh. She looked across the table at him, placing the glass back on the table. “What?” she asked with a wrinkle of her nose.
Justin shook his head. “Your drinking that is if someone is going to snatch it from you.”
She blushed, but answered sarcastically. “I’m thirsty.” She paused then added in accusing tone. “I’m not the one who’s about to pour himself a 3rd glass.”
Justin stopped pouring for a split second to look at her. “This is my third for the night. That’s what? Your 10th? 11th drink?” He accused with a raised eyebrow.
“It’s my birthday.” she declared making a face. “I think I’m allowed to have a few drinks.” At least they were trying to make light of the awkwardness surrounding them.
“What happened to spending it nice and quiet?” Justin asked putting the almost empty Jack Daniels bottle back on the table. He was beginning to feel the Jack in his system. Justin cursed at himself. Fuck, he hadn’t meant for that to slip out.
“Yeah...well plans changed.” Nicole replied bitterly, picking up on his comment.
Justin knew that had been the plan. He also knew it was partly his fault, but he wasn’t the only one to blame. Nicole did this too. She had left without letting him explain anything. Justin knew she had been upset, and didn‘t blame her, but instead of cooling off, she had ran, just like she always did when things didn‘t go according to plan. He sighed, and knew there was no way around it. “Nicole-” But she shook her head, waving a hand in the air as if brushing away the problem. But Justin couldn’t let it go so easily. “We eventually have to talk about what happened back in New York.”
“There is nothing to talk about.” she murmured, bringing the glass back up to her lips.
Justin gaped at her. “What do you mean there is nothing to talk about?” He was trying to keep the sudden frustration from boiling over. He knew she was upset, but to act as if nothing happened was bullshit. “So thats it?” he pushed.
Nicole gave him a long look before getting out of her chair, and walking toward the sink, glass in hand. She turned around and faced him, leaning against the counter. “If this is why you asked me to come inside-”
He narrowed his eyes at her and interrupted after taking a long gulp of his own glass. “No, Nicole, that’s not why I asked you, but think whatever you want.” He continue to watch her with a mixture of anger and lust. “But since it’s out-why don’t we talk about it?”
She glared, and took the last bit of Jack Daniels not saying a word. The room suddenly warmer than it had been in the past 10 minutes. She could feel the electricity bouncing through the walls. Nicole knew the mood in the room had changed. As soon as she had made the comment about plans changing, she knew the can of worms had been open.
She lifted her chin defiantly. “Like I said: there’s nothing to talk about.”
“Are you listening to yourself? Do you realized how stupid and childish you sound?” He snapped as he got out of his chair and stalked to her. He was stepping into dangerous territory now. There was only 2 type of ways these conversations with Nicole ended; shouting and throwing things, or naked and wrapped up in each others arms. There was no in between, there was never a in between when it came to their fights.
Nicole continued to glare as he faced her now. She was in between him and the counter. She was beyond angry at this point. Why did they have to talk? He had made the choice. He had created this little problem, and there was nothing he could do or say to fix it. “I think I should go now.” she informed him, never breaking from his gaze. She tried to ignore the look of anger and passion in his blue eyes. But she wasn’t going to allow herself to go there. She had to be strong. She needed to avoid the arousal brewing at the pit of her stomach. Anger and arousal. The anger she understood; the arousal infuriated her.
Justin shook his head in disgust, his eyes burning with anger. “Right. Run away. That’s what you do best.”
His words infuriated her more and it didn‘t help she was still consumed with alcohol. “Fuck you Justin.” she spat out, pushing at his chest; unfortunately he didn’t budge. She looked up, eyes blazing. Justin stood his ground.
“That can be arranged sweetheart.” Justin shot back without missing a beat.
Nicole knew where this was headed, and she couldn’t allow it to. Because if it did, then it would be like taking 2 steps back. She needed to get away from him, to walk away, but she ached for him. In spite of it all, she knew he could make her lose control. “You’re an ass.” she managed to say, slamming the empty glass on the counter.
Justin raised an eyebrow and replied. “I'm not denying it. But you suggested it. You said there was nothing for us to talk about.” Taking a closer step, his face inches from hers.
“Move.” she ordered as she slapped her hands into his hard chest, desperate to get him away from her. She managed to step away from where he had cornered. “It’s not going to happen.” she snapped, heading for the door. “You arrogant son of a bitch-”
She made it to the back door; hand even gripped the knob a second before a hard, forceful body pinned her against it. Her breath slammed from her chest at the feel of his growing dick pressed into her lower back, the sound of his breathing hard and rough at her ear.
“You think you’re just going to walk out of here?” His hands gripped her wrists, forcing them above her head until he could grip both with his long fingers.
“Let me go.”
“Like hell I am.” his voice rumbled at her ear a second before his teeth gripped the lobe with a heated nip.
What his teeth were doing was nothing compared to where his other hand had moved. To her thigh. He was pushing her dress above her legs, his palm sliding over sensitive flesh until it cupped the hot mound between her legs.
“Damn, I knew you were hot for me baby. You’re soaking wet.” His voice was almost a groan as she whimpered, pressing her head into the door and fight for control. This was exactly what she did not want to happen. She was lost in him now. Inside she was screaming, pleading to end this, put she couldn’t seem to make the words leave her mouth. “You drive me fucking crazy Nicole. Do you know that? I was so fucking ready to let all this shit go, then you had to show up in the backyard looking sexy as hell.”
His fingers were burrowing beneath the elastic of her panties. She didn’t learn. She whimpered again. She didn’t care at the moment. Using one foot between hers, he forced her legs wider as his fingers moved to her wet folds. Every sensitive cell of her flesh shouted in pleasure as his fingers ran through the narrow slit, circled her swollen clit, then slid back to the aching entrance of her vagina. She arched against him, frantic now as pleasure seared her nerve endings. It would take so little to bring release, a release she knew for a while would ease the aching knot of hunger that burned for him.
“You don’t want to talk, then lets not talk.” he whispered, his mouth moving to the sensitive cord of her neck as his fingers massaged the small opening, encouraging the wet heat to flow harder from her. “Fighting like this gets you off doesn’t it baby? I can feel it. Do you want to come sweetheart?”
She did. She needed to. She was sure if she didn’t she was going to die. She panted in anticipation as she felt his fingers move again, felt the touch of not one fingertip against her entrance but two. Oh yes, she was going to come so hard. She hated him. Just one thrust. One hard, searing thrust and the her hunger would be fulfilled.
But Justin didn’t thrust hard. He eased in. Nicole heard her own cry as she felt the slow, heated stretching of her pussy, felt his fingers working into her with practiced diabolical skill. Her mind kept yelling to push him away. To tell him to go to hell. But her body and soul couldn’t seem to get on the same page as her brain.
“God, you feel so smooth. Hot, and smooth Nicole.”
He continued to ease inside, filling her, burning her, driving her insane. “Justin...” she breathed.
“What Babygirl?”
“Please...” She couldn’t stop the weak plea as he filled her, felt his fingers crooking a second before he began to rub that spot only he knew. Only he could touch.
“You’re so close Nic.” he whispered. “Don’t try and fight it.You know you can’t.”
Nicole wanted to fight it. She needed to. It was the only way, she would have control. But his fingers were wicked.He slid them back, nearly pulling free before he moved inside her again. The same steady, slow entrance, the same caress when they reached the depths of her vagina.
She was shaking, shuddering with need now. But she knew this wasn‘t right.“Justin...please...this isn’t right...oh fuck.” she moaned.
“No...shhh. This is right.” He growled.
She needed him. She wanted and hated him at the same time. She knew she was fighting a losing battle.
“Don’t fight it.” Justin repeated. “God, you feel so good Nicole.”
“We shouldn‘t...” she whimpered. She was reaching blindly for that release, so close, so desperate for it that she felt as though she would shatter without it.
“Why not? It’s all physical with us isn’t it? Isn’t that what you’ve said from the beginning?” Rage filled his voice as his body pressed her harder into the door. “We’ll do it your way Nicole. We don’t have to discuss anything anymore. It’ll be purely physical.” His fingers jerked inside her, as though he couldn’t resist thrusting, just a little, almost enough.
Enough to have her crying out, arching to her tiptoes then falling back, fighting desperately to find that final sensation needed to push her over the edge.
“So lets start this right.” he snarled before his teeth raked over her neck, his fingers flexing inside her. “Right now, you want it, baby. And you’ll get it. From now on it’s strictly about getting each other off. A good fuck whenever one of us needs a release.”
She opened her mouth to speak, to tell him how much of a fucking asshole he was being, but nothing came out. She couldn’t think straight. He could say whatever the hell he pleased as long as he got her off. She moaned louder as he used two fingers now. Slow. Easy. Stretching her, burning her. “I fucking...hate...you.” she spat out. She didn’t mean it. She never meant those words when she said them. They were empty words to get a rise out of him.
Justin chuckled at her words. “Maybe. But there is no one who can make you feel this way Nicole.” He thrust inside her, a hard, long impalement that had her body reaching for orgasm “No one.” His voice rough and thick with hunger. She felt it whipping along her nerve endings, running through her blood, and pounding in her head.
Justin stilled behind her. Before Nicole could understand the sudden desertion, his fingers slid from depths of her and he pulled her back as he stepped aside. “Damn it Bre.” Nicole heard him grunt out. She tried to catch her breath. She heard barking and felt Brennan at her feet She hadn’t even heard the dog make her way back to the kitchen, let alone sneak between them. “I’m not hurting her.” he muttered. Brennan barked again. “You’re so fucking nosy.” as he released Nicole and pushed her slowly behind him as she stumbled, fighting to regain her balance.
Nicole felt herself break from his trance as soon as she stood a few inches from him What the hell had she been thinking? She was still fighting to breathe, to pull her emotions and her senses together when Justin turned and faced her.
“Nic-” he started, a mixture of love, lust and need in his eyes.
Nicole put her hands up, and shook her head. “I-I should go.” she stammered, as she watched Brennan disappear back out of the kitchen. What just happened, should not have happened, even if her body was still reeling from it. “That was...irresponsible. I’ve had too much to drink, and if I stay...things will happened that shouldn’t. So I’m going to go-” and took a step to the door. She hoped he wouldn’t stop her again. She hoped he would understand-
“No.” Justin said firmly, as reached for her again, and turned her around to face him.
“Justin.” she breathed, looking up at him through her lashes. “This is not a game.” She was tired of this dance they continue to do. They weren’t teenagers damn it.
“I know it’s not game Nicole.” he snarled.
“Then let me go!” she exclaimed. “This is crazy. I’m not damn toy. You can’t just play with me when you get bored with the others!” she yelled. “Let me go.” she repeated as she felt the adrenaline of the alcohol and anger mixed together in her stomach.
He glared, his grip tighten on her wrist. “What the fuck does that mean?”
“Exactly what I said.” She broke from his grip. She was in his face, and didn’t even realize how she’d gotten there. Her finger jabbed into his chest as she stared up at him challengingly. “You want to get off? Go for it, but it’s not going to be because of me. You made it clear that you don’t need me that way anymore-”
“You’re reaching Nicole.” He shook his head.
“Am I?” Her smile forced, as was the calm edge of her voice.
“You wouldn’t let me fucking explain. It always has to be your way or nothing at all! You’re the one that ran away. As soon it you saw things weren’t going perfectly, you fucking left, taking the easy way out-”
“Did I?” she interrupted. “When did you meet her Justin? Hmm? When? Was it after the fight we had back at my house? After the award show?” she accused. Her blood was boiling now. She had told herself she wasn’t going to go there, but damn it, she couldn’t control herself. She laughed bitterly. “If anyone was taking the easy way out -it was you!” she yelled. “So don’t you dare go and get all high and mighty on me. I’m done. There is nothing else for us to discuss-”
He jerked her into his arms, his lips slamming down on hers, grinding against her as the breath tore from her chest. Desperation fueled his kiss. Pure desperation and fury. Nicole could understand that. She had enough of it herself.
But she fought it, she placed her hands on his chest and pushed him off her. “No!” This had to stop. And if he wasn’t going to, then she would. They had to stop this crazy cycle. It led them nowhere. “I’m not doing this Justin.” As she tried to ignore the fire and electricity between them. She blinked back the tears. “As much I want you-I know it’s time to walk away. One of us has to do it.”
It hurts my soul cause I can’t let go, all these walls are cavin’ in
I can’t stop my sufferin’
I hate to show that I lost control
Cause I keep goin’ right back to the one thing that I need
I’m about to break, and I can’t stop this ache
I’m addicted to your allure and I’m fiending for a cure
Every step I take leads to one mistake
I keep going right back to the one thing I need
I can’t mend, this torn state I’m in
Getting nothing in return, what did I do to deserve
The pain of this slow burn....
Author's Chapter Notes:
Okay, its been awhile, I've been in a slump. Hopefully this chapter will shake me out of it! Thank you for being patient!
Chapter End Notes:
"Walk Away" Lyrics credited to Christina Aguilera
Story Tags: friendsturnedlovers
