His Answer

Present 

“Hey stranger, where you headed off to?” Justin called out to Nicole, quickly making his way to her.

Nicole didn’t seem to hear though, because she continue to make her way to her car.

Justin jogged behind her. “Hey.” he said, reaching out for her elbow. “Slow down Nic.”

“Get the hell away from me you-” she exclaimed, turning fully around.

“Whoa, whoa, its just me.” Justin said defensively, letting go of her elbow.

Nicole closed her eyes and let out huge sigh. “Jesus Justin! You scared me! Why you do that?” Ignoring the fact that a few of her books had fallen to the ground.

He bend down to pick them up. “Because from the looks of it your deaf.” he joked. “Where are you going anyway?” he asked. “What’s up with all the books? I thought you already took your test.”

She pulled the straps of her backpack and replied. “I did-”

“How it go?” he interrupted, falling in step with her, her books under his arms.

She gave him a small frown. “It was okay-I think…” she shrugged. “I don’t know why I thought this would be easy.”

Justin narrowed his eyes over at her. “You never thought grad school would be easy Nic.”

A amused look came over her face. “I know. I just thought saying it would make me feel better.” Unlocking her car door.

“Did it?” he asked, opening the driver side for her, tossing her books unto the passenger side.

She shook her head and simply said. “No.”

He chuckled. “Where are you going Nic?” he asked for the third time.

She slipped her backpack off and threw it to her backseat. “Back to the house-I need to try and figure out what the hell to do.” she paused as she leaned against the car. “I could always just sell-”

Justin slammed the driver door. She jumped, but he didn’t seem to care. “Your not going to do that.”

“Why not?” she asked frowning. “That house is causing me more trouble than its worth, and to be honest I don’t have the time to be dealing with it. I have less than a year before I graduate and that should be my main focus-”

“Are you listening to yourself?” Justin exclaimed.

“Yes, and so far I don’t hear anything I don’t like.” she said dryly. “I don’t see any problem-”

“Tell me you wont regret it later?” he accused.

She frowned. She knew he was right. She knew she would end up regretting it. That house was everything she ever wanted-once it was remodel. But lately all she could think of was graduating. She was almost there.

“It’s not that I don’t want it Justin. Because I do.” she said calmly. She wanted the house, she just didn’t have the energy to deal with it. Not when her focus was school.

“Then don’t sell it.” he stated.

She chewed her lower lip, reaching out and placing her hand on the door handle. “I just need to go up there…” Not sure what else to say. She knew he was trying to help. She never been the type to give up or take down a challenge, but lately she wasn’t feeling that way.

“Right now?” he asked, narrowing his eyes at her. Damn, she knew he knew something was bothering her. That it had to do with more than the house.

She only nodded.

“Lets go.” he stated, making his way to the passenger side of the car.

Without a protest or another word, she got into the drivers seat, and backed out of the large driveway.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

2002

“What are you so afraid of Nicole?” Justin asked for the third time, when she didn’t respond.

He knew he was pushing. But he couldn’t help it. He liked being with her. He liked talking to her. He could tell her things that he couldn’t tell anyone else. When he was with her-he could let go of all his inhibitions. Besides it wasn’t something out of the blue, before Britney, he had wondered what could be between them.

He watched her get out of bed and begin to pace back and forth in front of the bed. “I’m not afraid of anything Justin.” she paused. “You were in relationship for 4 years with her. Those kind of feelings don’t just disappear.-” she stopped again. “I should know…” trailing off. She locked eyes with him. “Can you honestly tell me that all those feeling have evaporated?” she demanded.

Silence hit the room.

“Because you know me Justin- when I fall- I fall hard.” she pressed her lips together. “I’m the kind of girl that likes to be taken care of. You know that-”

“I know that.“ he said. “But what your asking me to tell you isn’t fair.”

“What’s not fair? I’m being honest with you Justin. I’m not sugar coating anything for you. If you can tell me honestly those feelings have disappeared.” she let out a small breath. “How can you be sure-”

Justin got up from the bed. “I know you’ve been hurt. But how fair is for me to promise you I wont hurt you-” he demanded, his voice raising.

Nicole shook her head. “No. That’s not what I’m asking.”

“Isn’t it?” he said. “Because to me that’s what it sounds like. You expect me to tell you I wont ever hurt you. What kind of bull shit is that? Relationships don’t work that way. We both know that. “

Now he was pissed. What kind of game did she think she was running?

Then again, maybe he had lost his mind. He should have just kept his mouth shut. No, fuck it, he wasn’t the type of guy who kept his mouth or feelings hidden. Especially when his feeling included a woman. A woman who had began to be a big part of his life.

And he hadn’t realize how much until recently. Besides his mother, Nicole had been the other person he had been able to talk and confide in. And no matter how much she tried to tell him other wise, his feelings for her had began to change.

He glanced over at her. The only thing standing in their way was Justin’s bed. He closed his eyes, letting out a sigh. “I don’t know what you want me to say Nicole-” she opened her mouth to speak, but Justin quickly added. “No, no, scratch that-I’ve already told you what I want-”

She met his gaze. “Can you honestly tell me you haven’t thought about the idea of getting back with her-”

“Dear god woman-I’m here with you aren’t I?” he exclaimed.

“Because I’m your rebound!” she reminded. In a shaky breath, she continued. “Look me in the eye and tell me you still don’t love her-that if she were to call you, and told you she still loved you wouldn’t think twice about starting over with her-”

“I get that your scared Nicole.” he told her in a calmer voice. “I get it.”

“If you get it, then why-” she stopped for a second. “They why try and ruin this? Why cant we leave it alone?”

“Can you honestly tell me that you haven’t thought about it Nic? That it hasn’t crossed your mind of what could be?” he swallowed. “Can you look me in the eye and tell me you haven’t thought of the possibility of us?”

“That’s not the point-”

He let out a frustrated sigh. “Dear god woman.” he repeated. “So what do you want me to do now? I’ve told you what I want-”

“And I’ve told you what I want-”

He stopped her, shaking his head. “No. No you haven’t Nic.”

“I’ve already told you what I want Justin…” she repeated.

“You know relationships don’t work that way. We both know that.”

“Don’t you get it?”

“Get what?”

You re telling me all of this right now, but what if she were to call and tell you she was wrong-” she paused. “That she still loved you--” she bit her lower lip. “I know you’ve thought about it. That its cross your mind. And why shouldn’t it? She was…you were in love…”

“Nicole-”

She shook her head. “Okay…your right, I know you cant just turn off your feelings for her, because she was a big part of your life….and I shouldn’t have asked that.” She glanced away from him and over his shoulder. “But can you truly tell me, you wouldn’t? If she were to contact you? Could you honestly say no? Would you be happy with your decision? How do you think I would feel? How fair would that be to me? To her?“ she licked her lips nervously. “If I were to put myself out there… and she were to come back into your life….would you be able to turn her away? If you can honestly give me a ’no’, then I’m willing to put myself out there…” she glanced back at him, expectantly.

Justin opened his mouth to respond, but shut it again. He knew he couldn’t lie. He knew she was right. As much as he would like to tell Nicole he wouldn’t think twice about giving her a second chance , he knew he would be lying. Because truth was, he still thought about it. But damn it, he wanted Nicole too.

She gave him a light smile. “I have my answer don’t I?” she whispered.

Before Justin had a chance to reply. His phone began to ring. He glanced over at her. She reached for the phone which sat on the dresser.

She glanced down at the caller id, letting out a light laugh as she met his gaze. “Better late than never right?” she whispered. Handing him the phone from across the bed. “Answer it.” she told him in a whisper.

It ranged once, twice, three times. But all Justin could do was hold it in his hand. Not sure of what to do.

“Nicole-” he started.

His phone rang 3 more times before it finally stopped. The room was silent.

She opened her mouth ready to speak, but shut it when his phone began ringing again. She only gave a sad smile. “I’ll be downstairs….” turning on her heels and making her way to the door.

Damn it. Why did things have to be so fucking complicated?

“Tell her I say hi.” he heard her whisper as the door closed behind her.