Something’s Missing

Present

“You didn’t have to fill the tank up.” Nicole said to Justin as she buckled up her seatbelt. She glanced up as he closed the drivers door side. “But thanks for doing it anyway.” A grin on her soft features. They had finish breakfast and decided to fuel up on gas before they headed back to Justin’s house.

Justin started the engine, while glancing over at her with a smirk. “You owe me now.” he joked, putting the car in drive and making his way to the main street. “I’m thinking you owe me big.” he told her with a raised eyebrow.

She rolled her eyes at him. “Whatever.” Letting her head rest against the car seat and closing her eyes.

Justin only chuckled, making a stop at a red light. He couldn’t help but stare, as she sat next to him. Her head resting against the car seat, eyelids shut. She was a beautiful woman. There was no deny it. Even after all these years, he still saw it. But it was different. There were showy pretty women, the model type, gorgeous women, and then there were women like Nicole. Witty, soft and sexy with an innocent sensuality. Yes, because even after all these years, there was still an innocence about her, that not many other women had. And not many men appreciated…

“What did Lynn say when you called her earlier?” She asked interrupting his thoughts, opening her eyes, turning to face him, her head still resting against the seat.

He blinked back to reality, looking straight ahead as the light turn green. “She didn’t even notice I was gone.”

At breakfast, Nicole had suggested Justin call his mom from one of the public phones, seeing that their phones were dead. They both wanted to let Lynn know that they were okay.

Nicole giggled, and turned her head to glance out her window. “She didn’t notice? How could she not?”

“She thought I stayed at Jessica’s.”

She formed a small ‘O’ with her mouth. There was a long pause, before she spoke up again. “Did you call Jessica?”

“Yep.” he stated. “She thought I stood her up…” he told her, glancing up at the rear view mirror.

Nicole looked back at him, a small frown on her face .”Did you explain what happen?” furrowing her eyebrows. “I’m sorry J-”

Justin interrupted her. “Sorry for what? It was nobody’s fault. We got stuck.”

“But I feel like its kind of my fault, I mean you went with me-”

Justin shrugged. “I explained it to her. Told her, we had no way in contacting anyone because of the storm. That we lost power, and that my best friend is a big pussy when it comes to storms-” he stopped and gave her a wide grin. Nicole glared, sticking her tongue at him. He continued. “She said she wasn’t mad, but if she is, she’ll just have to get over it. I wasn’t doing anything wrong.”

Nicole only nodded, then looked out the her window again. He was right. He hadn’t done anything wrong. She hadn’t done anything wrong. Except for the non-existing kiss that almost did not happen…

She still wasn’t sure what had happened, except that his lips touched hers, and she did not bother to move herself away from him. Or the fact that it didn’t feel wrong…

Until now.

“Do you want to me to say something to her?” she asked him after a few seconds, chewing on her lower lip, as she met his gaze. “I don’t want her-”

Justin shook his head, interrupting. “You don’t have to say anything to her. There is no need to.”

“I just don’t want her getting the wrong idea…” Nicole trailed off, glancing away from his gaze. Justin and Jessica had been together for a little over a year now, but Nicole and Jessica didn’t really know each other .Yes, they all hanged out in the same crowd, but never truly talked, and sometimes Nicole felt Jessica was still a bit hesitant about her, and her friendship with Justin.

Justin snorted, as they came to another stop light.

“What?” Nicole asked, wrinkling her nose at him.

“If I really wanted her to get the wrong idea, all I would have to do is tell her about our past together.” Justin said sarcastically.

Nicole felt a light blush hit her cheeks, as she slumped into the seat. “Shut up.” she paused. “And I thought that was between me and you?” she asked in a low whisper.

Justin’s face turn serious. “It is. C’mon Nic. Do you really think I would share any of that?” Gripping the steering wheel with one hand, as he hit the AC button. “Not even Cameron knew about that, and I was with her for over four years.” He looked over at her with a small knowing smile. “That’s only between me and you.”

Nicole rolled her eyes as she added. “And Trace, and Rach…”

He wrinkled his nose. “Yea, well…those two are worse than the paparazzi sometimes.”

Nicole chuckled lightly, loosing herself in her own thoughts again. What they were was complicated. Always had been. But it worked. Even after all these years it worked. And the best part was Justin did not have to answer questions to anyone about it. Because it was kept between them. When it first happen, they hadn’t planned on keeping it a secret, but somehow through the years it just made sense.

And it wasn’t like there was anything going on between them now…because there wasn’t. But again, they had a unspoken rule, about sharing that type of information with their significant other at the time. It was better kept between them…

At least that was Justin and Nicole’s reasoning.

“Its never crossed you mind,” licking her lips.

“What?” Justin asked, keeping his eyes on the road.

“Telling them…about any of it?” she asked, curiosity getting the best of her.

“What for?” he stated. “Its not getting in the way of anything. So why open a can of worms we both know we don’t want open?”

She knew he had a point. When either one or both were with other people, they didn’t interfere in each others personal life. They acted like the platonic friends they’d always been.

“Besides, do you really think anyone would understand it?” he asked her jokingly. Nicole only gave him a small grin. “What about you?”

“What about me?”

“Did you ever mention it to any of your ex-boyfriends?” an amused look on his face, as he made a right turn on green.

Nicole tossed her head back, and laughed. “Yea, that would have gone over great with them. They already had an inferior complex when it came to you. They would have loved to have known how you-” she stopped herself, and cleared her throat.

“How I what Nic?” Justin pushed with a raised eyebrow.

Nicole shook her head slightly but didn’t respond.

Justin continued. “How I was your first-” but stopped mid-sentence when Nicole turned to face him again with a long warning look. He chuckled. “What? You brought it up not me.” he said defensively.

“I hate you sometimes.” Nicole mumbled, reaching out to turn down the AC in the car.

Justin rolled his eyes at her and said sarcastically. “Yet, here you are.”

“I don’t do good with change.” she replied back dryly.

“Yea, yea.” Justin retorted, turning on the AC back up.

Nicole gave him a small pout. “J, its cold in here.”

“Put on a sweater-oh wait you are wearing one- mine.” he stated, looking at her by the corner of his eye.

She continued to pout, but didn’t say a word, gazing out the car window again. For the next ten minutes or so, they didn’t speak. Driving in complete silence. Every once in awhile catching each others gaze by the corner of their eyes. It wasn’t an awkward silence, it was more of an understanding silence.

Finally Justin spoke up. “Are you rethinking this crazy idea about selling the house?”

Nicole shook her head, but didn’t bother looking over at him.

“Then what are you thinking about? I can practically see the wheels spinning in your head.” he teased.

She placed a strand of loose hair behind her ear, and let out a small sigh. “I’m just thinking about how easy it would be to drop everything and disappear to somewhere exotic.” She told him truthfully, her gaze still fixed on the view outside her window. She finally turned to look at him and asked. “Don’t you get tired of it sometimes?”

“Sure I do. Who doesn’t?” he told her. Understanding what she was asking.

“Ever think of just dropping everything? I mean truly, leaving everything, and trying to find…whatever else is out there?” she asked him. If this was anyone else but Justin she would not be talking this way, but it was Justin and she knew he wouldn’t think it was weird. It wasn’t the first time they had these type of conversations.

“Sure.” he paused. “Where is this coming from?”

“I don’t know.” she stated with a shrug. “I guess…after being sick, I just keep wondering what else is out there. And I am really doing what I want…and I am really happy. All these questions that no one has the answers to…” Once again glancing out the window. She let out nervous laugh. “I‘m just over thinking everything...”

“Its okay to do that sometimes.” Justin reassured her with a smile.

“You sure?” she mumbled.

“Yeah.”

“Its drives me crazy sometimes J.” she swallowed back her tears. “Truly drives me crazy.”

Justin let out a small chuckle. “I can understand the feeling.” he paused. “Is this what has you stressed out? Is why you want to sell the house?”

Nicole nodded, sniffling. “What if this house isn’t what I want?” she paused. “What if finishing school isn’t what I want? Then what’s the point?” Biting on her lower lip to keep the tears from falling.

“Then, you have to look for what you want.” he told her. “Forget about what people are expecting of you Nic. If your not happy, then find what makes you happy.” he paused for a split second. “And keep looking till you find it baby. Because you deserve it.”

Nicole blinked back the tears. What she wanted? What would make her happy? All these things kept running through her head of what she wanted to do. But for some reason one thing running over and over in her mind…was him.