Chapter 13

Justin stormed back to his bedroom and picked up the closest thing to him and threw it across the room. Lucky for the mirror that it hit, the item was merely a pair of balled up socks. It didn't matter to him what it was, he just needed to throw something, break something, or cause some kind of destruction. He wanted to kill himself for hitting Gabrielle. He knew his mother would have beaten him senseless if she'd seen him do it; she raised him to know never to lay a hand on a woman. He hated himself for letting his anger get out of control. He started to feel remorse, and then anger because of the remorse. She deserved every bit of that, he silently thought.    

He began to undress himself for the night, and off came shoes, socks, pants, and then shirt. After grabbing the nearest pair of joggers, he glanced at his reflection in the mirror and was disgusted. He'd never hated himself more. Who am I kidding...she's innocent in this whole thing.   He could still hear her sobbing from the door where theirs adjoined, and a wave of nausea hit him. After a split-second glance in the mirror, he literally felt his insides turn, and he ran for the bathroom. He dropped to his knees just before his stomach began heaving its entirety into the toilet, and the light-headedness instantly engulfed his being. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and angrily spat out the remaining stomach acid. Simply the taste in his mouth caused him to heave once more and he rested his forehead on the rim of the seat once he was finished.   

He felt ill and hesitantly stood to clean his mouth out with toothpaste and mouthwash. He splashed cold water on his face almost as a punishment to awaken his senses. He lifted his head and rested his hands firmly on the sides of the sink and stared at his own reflection. He hadn't vomited out his own hatred for himself, and he hung his head in shame as he again heard her sob. He couldn't take the torture any longer, and he made his way slowly to where the sounds were originating.    

Justin walked into her side of the suite and was horrified at the sight he saw: she was packing.    

"What are you doing?" he asked her with desperation in his voice.   

"Get the hell out of my room," she whispered and kept her back to him as she went about piling the room's contents into her suitcases.   

"Are you leaving?" He sat on the edge of the bed that she was working on and stared up at her. Her face was shiny with the moisture from her tears, and he could clearly see his own fingers outlined in red on her face among the more than obvious swelling. The sight caused guilt to lacerate his conscience even more.  

"I'll be gone before you wake up tomorrow."   

"No, Gabby, please! Please don't leave." He desperately grabbed her arm and tried to pull her down into his lap, but she ripped her arm away from him before he could.   

"Don't touch me!" She screamed at him.   

"Okay, okay. I'm sorry." He raised his arms in defeat and forced his eyes to the floor in shame. She looked down at him and she let out another quiet sob and felt the tears continue to stream down her face. Justin slowly looked up and his eyes instantly began to water when he saw her tears.  

"I'm going to apologize for saying what I said to you because it obviously didn't go over well, so I'm sorry...my conscience is clear. I have nothing more to say to you." She turned her back to him and grabbed the belongings on the bedside table and tossed them toward her suitcase.  

"Gabby, please don't leave." He stood and walked up behind her, "I'm so, so sorry for hitting you. I hate myself for getting out of control, and I won't be able to forgive myself if you don't forgive me. Please, Gabby...I'm so sorry." His last words were almost inaudible due to his quiet sobbing. He placed his hands slowly at her waist, and when she didn't reject him, he encircled her hips and pulled her into his chest and held her tightly. He felt her body shake, and he dropped his lips to her shoulder for comfort.  

Gabrielle let her body enjoy him. She leaned fully against him and let him support her weight. She felt him turn her body to face him and she buried her face in the crook of his neck. She heard him whisper her name and a few more apologies, and when he was silent, she looked into his eyes.  

"I hate you, Justin."  

"What?" He whispered and gently pushed her hips back until he could see her face and the emotions it expressed.   

"You're constantly hurting me emotionally, and now you've begun to do it physically. I can't-"   

"No, Gabby, no. I haven't begun to hurt you physically," the desperation again controlled his voice, "I was angry, and stupid, and I let myself get out of control. I'm so, so sorry. Gabby, you have to believe me. I'll never, ever do that again. I just got so angry when you said all that stuff about me being naïve because it was all true, and I just still can't accept it. I'm so sorry that I took out my anger on you. Please, Gabby-"  

"No, Justin. I have to leave-" Justin dropped to his knees in front of her and clung to her waist, pressing his cheek against her hip.  

"Gabby, you can't...please."  

"Justin, neither one of us is happy in this screwed up scenario that we've forced ourselves into. We never see each other, and when we do, it's only to fight. I mean, the only reason you came up to me at that party was to yell at me for being with Wade. You even told me that night that you didn't want to be seen with me, but that didn't matter to you once you saw me with Wade and we started fighting again. We go out of our way to fight with each other, not to make ourselves happy, and that's completely unhealthy. That's why I think I should just go home, and we shouldn't see each other anymore. I just don’t want to do this anymore..." Her tears fell rapidly, and she choked them back as best as she could.   

In a final desperate move, Justin pulled her down to the floor and into his lap. She was too weak from crying to fight him, and she was emotionally exhausted from fighting so much with him to begin with. He sat on the floor, leaning against the bed and cradled her between his knees while holding her tightly against his chest. He used a single hand to stroke her hair and caress her as he spoke gently. 

"I know that what I did was completely unforgivable, Gabby. I don't deserve to live after that...but I'm asking for your forgiveness. I can't even comprehend how to express just how sorry I am; I've never felt so bad for something in my life. Please forgive me." 

Gabrielle pushed away from Justin and stood; she needed distance from him.  

"I can't. Justin, you hit me. I've never been so terrified of anyone, and I don't think I'll ever be able to trust that you won't hit me again."   

"I promise you, I won't."   

"Justin, I know that you let yourself get out of control, and I let myself get out of control by saying what I said. It's human nature to explode sometimes. I just can't trust you, knowing that the first time I ever saw you blow up, you slapped me. If that's how you blow up, I just can't be around you. We fight so much; I can't even image what you're capable of, Justin. I'm terrified of you."   

"Oh, my God, Gabby, please don't be scared of me. I promise...I swear, I'll never hurt you again...ever. Please trust me, Gabby...I love you."   

"Justin, don't say that to me. You don't mean it and it's cruel."   

"Look at me." He got up to meet her and took her jaw in his hands, "I would never, ever lie to you, especially about something like this." He pulled her in and placed a gentle kiss on her cheek, "I've never met anyone like you. We've fought with each other from the moment we met, and I still couldn't help falling in love with you."    

"Justin." Any time he mentioned those words, her tone was disapproving. He pulled her in and kissed her other cheek.   

"Look, I know what love feels like, and this is it. Gabrielle...I love you." He placed a full, rich kiss on her lips and she hesitantly responded. When she finally pulled away, she noticed a tear on his cheek, and a smile on his lips.   

"You called me Gabrielle. You never call me Gabrielle; always Gabby."  

"I know. But I wanted you to realize that I was dead-serious. I'm not joking, and this isn't cruelty. I love you, and I want to be to be with you."   

"Oh, no. We're not ready for that. We haven't even mastered a friendship; we can't jump into a relationship. You can't handle publicity for two, remember?"   

"Are you turning me down? The woman that I love, and who loves me, won't be with me?" A grin formed slowly on his lips.   

"Who loves you? I never said that I love you. You're getting a little ahead of yourself."   

"Am I?" His grin turned into a playful smile.  

"Yes, you are." She returned the smile.   

"Alright. Tell me you don't love me." His eyebrows rose to challenge her.   

"I don't love you." She glanced around the room to avoid his eyes.   

"Without lying to me."   

"Fine!" Her smile was brighter than he'd ever seen it, "I can't tell you that I don't love you."  

"And why not?"  

"Because I'm head-over-heels, constantly-filled-with-butterflies, can't-get-you-out-of-my-mind, the-thought-of-you-brings-smiles, the-sight-of-you-brings-other-things," she raised her eyebrows suggestively, "undeniably in love with you!"  

"Undeniably, huh?"  

"Yeah," she smiled brightly, "I love you, Justin."   

"Yeah, I kinda like you, too." Gabrielle playfully smacked his arm.   

"All right, I love you, too." He rubbed the spot she'd just hit, "Oh, I get it. You're allowed to smack me, but I'm not allowed to smack you." His words made her laugh.   

"It's way to soon to be joking about that, Slick."   

"You know, I sensed that right after I said it." They both laughed and Justin enveloped her in a tight hug.   

"I'll be right back." He suddenly shot up from their spot on the floor and ran into his bedroom. Before she knew what was happening, Gabrielle was all alone. A few short seconds later, he'd returned with an ear-to-ear grin.   

"What?" she asked.   

"I cancelled my whole day tomorrow. It's gonna be just you and me all day; whatever you want to do. We haven't spent any time together this whole trip, and I'm gonna make the last few days we have here the best four days of your life."  

"You seem mighty confident. And how exactly do you plan on making these the best four days of my life?"   

"Well, I'm gonna start with this." He immediately pulled her off of her feet and into his arms. 

"Justin!" He pressed his lips to hers to silence her and he suggestively raised his eyebrows before hurrying into his bedroom to start consummating their new-born relationship.