After the week that I’ve had I need a fucking drink. I need ten drinks. I need to not be Skylar the Scholar for the night. I need to not be the one with the answers. I need to not be the tutor that kissed her seventeen year old student. Ugh…

After the incident in the library I had successfully avoided any contact with Justin that didn’t involve me giving him a hand out. He had stopped coming by my room to ask me questions and as far as I know is just as embarrassed about the whole thing as I am.

I’m not used to guys taking care of me. I was perfectly content to just sit there against the stacks and sob for awhile before going back out but no, he had to swoop in and be all knight in shining armor. And his lips, Christ, the way he kissed me, but I have to stop. I have to stop. He’s seventeen years old. And he’s my student. And he’s a brat. A spoiled, pampered, little…good kisser, holy shit!

I slam my eyeliner on the counter of the bathroom, closing my eyes and trying to compose myself. When did he go from being the whiney, annoying little brat to someone one that I can’t get out of my head? What happened to my intense loathing for him? I have to stop this. I can’t keep thinking about how soft his lips were, his long slender fingers threading through my hair, brushing my cheek, and god, the way he tasted.

Like I said, I need a fucking drink. Some of the wardrobe girls are hitting a few local clubs and agreed to let me tag along. They all knew how close Khefren and I were, and they figured I just needed to get him off my brain, but honestly ever since…well let’s just say Khefren’s lips weren’t the ones I was thinking about.

We left the lobby of the hotel about twenty after eleven, three girls dressed like whores. Like I said, I don’t want to be a teacher tonight. I want to be twenty-three years old, a college student; I want to get fucking wasted.

And I do. Mixed drinks and shots for the first hour and I feel warm and heady and good. For the first time all week I just feel good. Well, maybe not the first time… I throw back another shot.

“Damn Sky!” It’s Jillian, one of the girls I came here with, leaning over my shoulder to hand her money to the bartender. “Who knew you were such a heavyweight?”

“I’m not,” I say thickly, the alcohol burning in my stomach. “I just am tonight.”

She squeals throwing back her shot and grabs my arm pulling me to the dance floor. The place is completely packed, bodies pressing against each other and it’s hot and sweaty but it’s nice. Men are pressing around us, copping a feel and I usually would glare at them but my tipsy brain just soaks it all in, letting me smile flirtily back at them.

Jillian turns away from me, backing her ass into me as she sways to the music and I let my head fall back, letting the thumping bass roll through me. It isn’t long before we both have male partners, guys just sliding up to us, grinding against us.

My current partner is tall and lean and he has good rhythm, hips working steadily against me. God, I need to get laid. My mind is fuzzy and unclear and all I can think about is the ache in my stomach, the want. I wanna get fucked tonight.

“Oh my God!” Jillian exclaims, but it’s barely audible over the pounding music. “Look, its Joey!”

She’s pointing to the platform and I see Joey smiling down onto the floor, glass in his hand. Jillian is jumping up and down, waving at him, her breasts threatening to bounce right out of her top. Joey spots her and waves back, grinning wildly at her. He turns back and hollers at someone and my eyes widen when I see Justin’s smiling face peering around someone, pushing his way to the railing. Our eyes lock and his smile fades. I turn away abruptly, pushing my way through the crowd back to the bar. It’s time for another drink, or maybe three.

I lean against the bar, waiting for the bartender to come back by. My vision is a little blurred and my head is swimming. I really shouldn’t drink anymore for awhile. I really shouldn’t have let him kiss me in the library.

“Three shots of Patron,” I yell over the music and the bartender quirks an eyebrow at me but obliges, lining me up.

I hand him a wad of cash, not really caring how much I give him and throw them back, one, two, three, my head spinning like a top, my insides churning.

I open my eyes when I feel a hand on the small of my back and a low voice whispers in my ear.

“Can I buy you a drink?”

I smile, that burning in my stomach coming back and it’s not the alcohol. I wanna get fucked tonight. I turn, a smile pulling at my lips but it immediately fades when I see Justin, smiling down at me.

“Get away from me, Justin,” I spat, stumbling a little as I try to make my way around him.

His face registers shock and a little hurt, but I don’t care. I’m on a mission. Skylar the Scholar is getting fucked tonight. I just need to find the right guy.

I make the rounds, dancing with a few guys, flirting and just letting myself go. But every time I get close to asking one back to my room, I see him, grinding up on some random girl, his eyes flitting to me every once in awhile, jealously and concern marking his features. And I move on, trying to put as much space between us as possible.

I’m feeling a little woozy now, dancing with a short muscular guy that has his hands all over me. My skin is on fire as I grind against his crotch, wanting to feel him, actually trying to get him hard. His hands are slipping under my tank top, inching the hem higher and I want this. I want to just shut my brain off and do this. I don’t care who it is.

“Mind if I cut in?”

I barely hear the words, my eyes sliding open lazily and it’s Justin again, standing next to us.

“Yeah actually I do, kid,” the guy behind me says and Justin reaches into his pocket pulls out a few bills, holding them between his fore and middle fingers, raising an eyes brow at the guy.

My eyes narrow but it takes me a moment to realize what’s happening and in that moment the money exchanges hands and my wobbly body is shifted into Justin’s, his arms wrapping around my waist.

My eyes close as the spicy, woodsy scent of him invades my senses and I let my head fall to his shoulder, hands wrapping around his elbows.

“Come on, Sky,” he says, softly into my ear. “Maybe you should sit down.”

“No,” I moan, gripping his arms lifting my head to look at him through half lidded eyes.

Jesus, he’s gorgeous. His boyish face shows uncertainty and concern, his slender fingers, brushing the hair away from my cheek. I tilt my head to the side running my hands up his arms and he watches me, his face still unsure. He jumps a little when my fingers brush his neck, hands flattening to slide down his chest, feeling hard muscle underneath his shirt. This is wrong on so many levels. Wrong, wrong, wrong my brain screams but my hands don’t stop, smoothing around to clutch his back, swishing my hips against his.

He’s slow in reciprocation, but eventually he’s grinding against me, his body moving effortlessly with the music. His body moves like nothing I’ve ever seen, his motion flowing and graceful. His hands smooth down across my hips, guiding me a little, pressing me harder against him.

I spin, pressing my ass against his crotch, my mind chanting over and over that this is wrong, but I’m not his tutor tonight. I’m a drunk girl at a club and he is not my student. He’s just a guy I’m dancing with, my arms back around his neck, his head dipping to nuzzle my neck.

His hands are still guiding my body against his, his hips rolling into me with the beat of the music and I feel him, solid and wanting, trapped beneath the fabric of his jeans. I bite my lip, working that bulge, my mind hazily telling me that I shouldn’t be doing this. Not with him.

But I want this with him. I’ve been pushing the thought from my mind all week, the thought of him touching me, needing me like I need him right now. I’d kept it at bay, my logic and morals keeping a firm hold on my desires. But tonight alcohol has dropped my inhibitions and all I feel for him is want.

I spin again to face him, finding him flushed and panting. He pulls my body against his quickly, not wanting to lose the friction. I bring my arms up around his neck, pressing myself harder against him and his eyelids flutter, a low moan vibrating in his chest but the music drowns it out. This is so wrong.

“I know this is wrong…” I slur and he’s looking at me, eyes penetrating me, pleading a little, “but I really fucking want you right now.”

I laugh a little, dropping my head to his shoulder and this time I hear him groan, because his mouth is right next to my ear. Jesus, I’m so fucking wasted.

“You wanna go back to the hotel?” He says it with a slight tremor in his voice, and I pull back to look him in the face.

His eyes are dark, lights dancing across his face from the strobes. We’re close to the entrance and it wouldn’t take much to just slip out unnoticed. I feel him hard against my leg and I want it, I want it so bad, the burning in my stomach so intense, the ache between my legs almost unbearable. I look up at him and bite my bottom lip, nodding my head slightly.

He grins at me, hands slipping from around my waist to grab one of my hands, pulling me deeper into the club. I’m confused, tugging his arm but he stops after a few feet and he’s talking to Tiny, the bodyguard that had led me backstage my very first day on the tour. The man just nods to whatever Justin is saying, stepping past both of us, leading us out of the club.

Its balmy outside, a warm summer breeze ruffling my hair as Justin helps me stumble to the parking lot. Alcohol has made me giggly and stumbly and it’s all I can do to stay upright. Justin’s laughing with me, his arm tight around my waist as we walk to the car and then helping me in the backseat of the SUV.

I slide in, laying a little across the seat and grin down my body at him. He smiles back at me and hauls himself inside when I crook my finger at him. I sit up a little and kiss him. I kiss him and stars explode behind my eyes. I kiss him and it’s like everything else falls away.

I clutch at his shirt, pulling his body close to mine, my tongue probing against his lips before he allows me entry to his mouth. He tastes so good, so clean and young and that voice in my head tells me I should stop this but I ignore it because his hands are on my stomach, sliding up my ribcage, pressing up under my breasts. I take his hands and place them on my chest, not only giving him permission but asking for it.

He moans a little into my mouth, hands massaging a little roughly. I grab at his waist, pulling him closer to me and pull my mouth from his, trailing kisses along his smooth jaw back to his ear. I flick the lobe before sucking his earring into my mouth, rolling the diamond stud against my tongue, feeling him pant against my neck. My hands are roaming his chest as my lips slide down his neck, fingers slipping under the hem of his shirt, feeling his stomach tremble.

His skin is so smooth as I skim my hand under his shirt, tweaking his nipples a little before sliding back down, finger circling his belly button. I’m sucking on his throat now, feeling his Adam’s apple bob as he swallows hard. I run a finger down the fly of his jeans and feel him jump under me, his hands moving to cup the back of my head, my lips sliding over his chin.

My lips claim his again as I rub the heel of my hand against the bulge in his jeans, feeling him gasp into my mouth. His fingers are fisting in my hair as I work him hard, wanting him. His hands grip my wrist suddenly, pulling me away from him and I pull back looking at him questioningly. I look around and realize we are back at the hotel. When the hell did that happen?

He slips out of the car, helping me to the ground and takes my hand, guiding me as we follow Tiny into the back entrance. My vision is still a little hazy and I trip over my own feet. He stops, pulling me up to him, his arm going around my waist again, his body warm against mine.

“You know,” I slur a little as we walk through the kitchens. “This is probably a really bad idea.” He stops briefly, just looking at me. “Oh, I don’t wanna stop,” I say and he laughs a little, starting up again, making our way to the elevator. Tiny presses the button before giving Justin a weary look and walking away into the depths of the kitchen. “No, this is going to be a great end to a shitty week. First you fired Khefren, you’re an asshole for that by the way…”

I can’t stop myself. All this stuff just keeps pouring from my mouth as we wait for the elevator to come and he’s fidgeting a little, watching the numbers descend on the digital indicator above the elevator doors.

“And then that thing with my thesis,” I laugh as we step onto the elevator. “I mean, I don’t know why I care what that asshole professor thinks.”

“Me either,” he replies absently, jabbing the seven button, taking us up to his floor.

“I mean, he kicked me off the Greek dig, which by the way was total bullshit! Greek art is my fucking concentration. It’s all because I wouldn’t suck his dick.”

“Yeah,” he says and then looks at me. “Wait…what? Justin asks, looking slightly alarmed and I nod animatedly.

“Oh yeah! He was all ‘Sky you’re not like the other girls’ and feeling up on me.” I say shaking my head and Justin eyes me, his face showing slight concern. “I don’t know why I care so much about what he thinks.” I pause for a moment and the elevator doors ding open. “You know, he kind of reminds me of my dad,” I say as we stumble out of the elevator.

Shit, I haven’t thought about my dad in forever. Why am I saying this shit to him?

“My dad was a drug rep for some pharmaceutical company…well he still is.” I’m rambling now and I can’t stop the words just bubbling from me as we make our way down the hall, stopping at his door, him fumbling for his key. “He was never around, is never around. When I was a kid I would always wait for him on the porch when Mom said he would be coming home. Like some kind of damn dog or something.” I say laughing as we trip into the room. “I would always beg him to stay,” I sigh falling back onto the bed, stretching a little against the sheets.

Justin is at the foot of the bed, kicking off his shoes eagerly before plopping down next to me. He’s lying on his side, head propped on one hand while the other skims lusciously down my body. But I can’t stop, and I just keep jabbering on.

 “He never would… stay I mean. He always had to be somewhere, sell something, meet someone. I always thought that if I was good, if I did well in school, or was president of all these clubs, or if I got into the right school maybe he would stick around for longer than a couple days. That if I was perfect I could make him stay. But he never did.”

What the hell am I talking about? I open my eyes and Justin is looking down at me, his eyes soft. His hand that had been wandering my body is now brushing the hair away from my face. I shake my head a little, trying to snap out of it and the room spins a little.

“We don’t have to do this,” he says, his voice a little strained but soft and I look at him.

“No, I waaaaaaaaaaant to,” I moan, throwing my leg over his hip and rolling him to his back.

I’m perched atop him, grinding my hips into his lap but he’s not hard anymore. I pout a little as his hands slide up my thighs, around the curve of my waist and going to cup my face. I lean down to kiss him again, just wanting to taste him. He tastes so fucking good.

“Sky,” he whispers, wrenching his mouth from mine. And then with a sigh he grits out, “you’re drunk. We shouldn’t do this.”

“Noooooo,” I whine as he rolls me off him. “I want to. Justin, please.” I say, my eyes heavy.

“You’re tired,” he whispers, leaning down to pull my heels from my feet. “Come on why don’t we just sleep.”

“Noooooo,” I say but it’s cut off by a yawn, and I feel him moving to tug the covers back. “I wanna fuck you.”

I hear him gasp a little, all his movements stopping. I roll onto my side and look at him, finding his face pained, indecision painting his boyish features. I crawl up onto my knees and wrap my arms around his shoulders, nuzzling my nose with his.

“Come on, Jus,” I whisper, reaching my tongue out to run along his bottom lip. “Just…just this once. Please I need it.”

His hands tremble as they reach back to pull my arms from around his neck and I pout at him, watching him heave a shaky sigh. He nuzzles his nose with mine again and shakes his head. I whine a little, tugging at his shirt but he just nudges my shoulder and in my inebriated state I tumble backwards. He slips under the covers, fully clothed and a nod of his head beckons me to do the same.

I scowl a little but oblige, laying there next to him. He turns to me, his hand reaching for my hip and I scoot close to him, burying my face in his chest. I slide one leg between his thighs, bringing it up to press against him and he hums a little, one hand running through my hair, the other holding me at my lower back for a moment before sliding lower to rest on my ass.

And that is how I fall asleep, lying against him, my ear over his heart.