"Ouch! Damnit!"

Joey tried not to laugh as he heard Jess bump and thump outside his bunk. He opened the curtain and peaked out. "You OK, Princess?" he gave her a sleepy smile.

She met his eye and almost growled, "I was OK until I tripped over someone's clodhoppers. Seriously, who wears these boats? I'm gonna throw them at him!" Jess held up the pair of shoes she had tripped over.

Joey sat up and rubbed a hand through his already messy hair. "Ah, those clodhoppers would be Justin's. Leave them until tomorrow, we'll prank him somehow with them. What are you doing up?"

She shrugged. "Meh, just getting a drink."

"Can't sleep?" he asked.

She shook her head, "Nope. You?"

"Nope. Come on." Joey nodded his head towards the back of the bus and scooped up a blanket as he led her to the living room. He wrapped the blanket around his shoulders and flopped down into a comfy chair, holding out one arm. "Come and sit with me."

Jess sat down and let Joey envelop her in the blanket. She leaned her head on his shoulder and snuggled in. "Mmmm. You're comfy, Joe."

He laughed. "Uh, thanks, I think. Why don't you try to sleep, Angel?"

She shook her head. "Nuh-uh." She rubbed her eyes. "Don' wanna."

"Fine. Then talk to me. What's going on?" He pulled the ‘big brother' card.

Her answer was a shrug and a mumbled, "Dunno".

This made him chuckle. "You don't talk much when you're exhausted, do you?" Then he quickly changed his tone, "Why don't we just cut the bullshit, Jess? I know you've been having nightmares." When he saw she was going to protest, he cut her off. "Don't even bother. I've been trying to sleep in the bunk under you all night and you talk in your sleep."

"You know?" she whispered, almost relieved that someone else knew her secret.

"Yeah," he replied with a slight nod of his head, "it wasn't that hard to figure out."

"You won't tell them, will you?"

"Pshaw," he rolled his eyes. "You know me better than that. Spill."

She shook her head. "No, Joe. I think I've done enough spilling in the last few hours. Why don't you tell me something for a change?"

"Oh? Like what for example?" he queried.

"Why don't you start with the real reason that you've been up all night-and don't even try to tell me it is because of me and my restlessness, you sleep through just about anything."

Joey chuckled softly. "Can't pull anything over on you, can I?"

"Nope," she shook her head. "So you spill first."

"All right, but this is just between you and me. I'm not ready to tell the guys yet." Jess nodded. "I don't know where to start, so I'll just tell you. I...I'm going to be a dad."

Jess tilted her head back to look at him. "Really?"

Joey smiled nervously. "Um, yeah."

"Wow! That is big news. Wow. Joe," she shook her head and smiled, "you're going to be such an amazing dad. I can hardly wait to see that."

He shook his head and asked quietly, "What do I know about being a father?"

"What's there to know, Joe?" she shrugged. "All you need is love, and the rest follows."

"You know, I could say the same about you and Chris," he smiled slyly.

Jess gave him her "What you talkin' ‘bout Willis?" look*, "Huh? You could say what about us?"

Joey tsked, "Please, you know what I mean. Relationships aren't that hard. All you need is love and the rest follows."

Jess rolled her eyes. "Whatever, Joe. Anyway, I believe we are talking about you and Kelly. So. How is she doing? When is the baby due? Can I babysit?"

"Whoa, girl. One question at a time!" Joey giggled and then proceeded to answer all her questions. A while later, Joey sat back. "So, I think I'm done spilling. It's your turn now."

Realizing that Joey wouldn't be put off any longer, Jess relented and answered him. "Fine. You're right. I've been having nightmares again."

Joey looked her right in the eyes. "What do you mean, ‘again'?"

She knit her eyebrows together. "What? It's not like I haven't had them before. Just another one of the joys of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder."

"So, how did you get rid of them last time?" he asked.

She sucked in her bottom lip and let it pop back out. "I saw a shrink. She made me talk about them and gave me some coping techniques."

"OK, so do you think if you tell me about the dreams, that might help you?"

"I don't know," she shrugged, "but I guess it's worth a try. These dreams have been very vivid and they stay with me all day. They give me the creeps for hours."

"Hence another reason you've been holding back from Chris?" Joey interrupted.

"You mean because I'm creeped out? I hadn't thought of that," Jess replied pensively. "Maybe these nightmares have been a part of it."

"Well, what happens in your dreams? Are they the same each time?"

She shook her head, "No, not exactly the same, but they are similar. Basically, I keep dreaming about the night I was attacked. But instead of being knocked unconscious, I'm totally aware of everything that is going on. It's like I'm having an out of body experience with déjà vu thrown in for good measure because I know what is going to happen next. But, when the phone should ring, it doesn't. He just keeps beating on me and-and well, nothing stops him and he gets what he wants." She shuddered. "I usually wake up just as he's starting to get his way."

Joey tightened his hold on her. "Oh, honey. I'm so sorry. No wonder you've been so unnerved. "

Jess nodded, "Yeah. It's really been freaking me out. Every time I fall asleep, it starts all over again and I don't know how much more I can take."

Joey looked at his friend quaking against his side and wondered the same thing. She was normally a tough girl, but he could see that this was wearing her down. "What happened to start these dreams up again?" he asked.

Jess shrugged and avoided eye contact. "Who knows?"

Joey wasn't going to fall for it. He looked at her accusingly, "You do."

"Damn it!" she banged her fist against the couch, "Isn't it bad enough that JC can read me like a book? Why do you have to start?"

He smiled apologetically, "Come on, Jess. Just tell me. Maybe if you get it out in the open, it will stop the nightmares."

"I don't know, Joe," she shrugged. "The only thing that has kept the dreams away has been sleeping with one of you guys."

He smirked. "I'm going to let that one slide for now, because I know you didn't mean it that way."

Jess shoved him away from her. "Ew! Whatever, you pervert!" She laughed for a moment and then turned serious again. "OK, look, I'll tell you, but you have to promise not to tell Josh or Chris or anyone else for that matter."

"Jess, I've already told you that I'm not going to talk to them. Anything you tell me tonight is in the strictest confidence unless you tell me otherwise."

"OK. I just don't want them to blame themselves because it's really not their fault..." she paused, not quite ready to go on.

"What's not their fault, Honey?" Joey prompted her.

"The nightmares, really, it's not their fault I'm having them. I blame him entirely. But whenever I get really stressed out about something, they start up again."

Joey nodded, "And let me guess, being shoved into the limelight because of the video didn't help."

"Yep. And then all this stuff with Chris isn't helping either."

"What stuff, Jess? I thought you guys were doing OK."

"Truthfully, Joey, I have no idea what we are. My last dating experience was four years ago with a guy who tried to rape me. I know Chris is not like him; I'm just scared out of my mind about relationships in general. Friendship is so much easier to deal with."

"Why don't you just treat it as friends with more?" He suggested with a shrug.

"I wish it was that easy," she grimaced.

"He really cares about you, Jess."

She sighed. "I know. I care a lot about him too."

Joey smiled. "Yeah, I know." He sat up a bit straighter. "Hey, how have you kept all this in for four years? It can't have been easy."

"No, it wasn't. But at first I was so afraid of looking stupid and then I just didn't want to open it all up again."

"Well, look, if you want to talk about it now or any time, I'm here and I'm willing to listen, OK?"

"Really, Joey? You'd be willing to sit here and listen to all the sordid details?"

"Of course, I would. You shouldn't have to question that. You know that I'd do anything for you, silly girl! Besides, it's not like JC is your only friend. All of us love you a whole lot."

"I know," she smiled. "I've certainly been blessed with great friends. Ok, just remember that this was your idea. I think holding all this inside is becoming too much for me." She paused to regroup. "So you know that the guy attacked me and all that. Did Josh tell you about how I moved here?" Joey nodded and she continued. "Did he tell you about the trial?" Joey shook his head this time.

"Well, in Canada, the police press charges, not the victim. I'm kind of glad, because I was terrified and might not have done it on my own. Anyway, they charged him with attempted rape as well as a couple of other things, breeching probation, physical assault, that kind of thing. He of course had a record as long as my arm, but none of that was admissible in court. I really know how to pick them."

"Whoa, Jess," Joey stopped her narration. "It's not your fault that he is a bad guy. He hid that from you. It sounds like he was quite an actor, so don't blame yourself for not knowing who he really was at the time."

"You're right. It turned out that I wasn't the only one he fooled. He was actually living with someone at the time he was seeing me. She had no idea and when the police went to search for him, she was so angry she ratted him out and even witnessed against him for my case."

"I had a case worker from the women's shelter who was with me throughout the trial. She helped me so much. It was hard to sit there and have to listen to all the lies that his lawyer spewed. And then to be questioned and cross examined, well that was the hardest thing I've ever done.

"In the end, he was sentenced for aggravated assault and he was to be incarcerated for eight to ten years. Because he was in pre-trial custody for a year, that counted as two years served. Since then, he's served four years in jail; with the two year credit, he's at six years, so he could be eligible for parole. If he gets parole, he technically won't be able to come to the States, and he'll have to stay away from me, but, I mean how secure is that? How do I know I won't be walking down the street and he'll just pop up there in front of me? Guys walk through restraining orders everyday "

Joey shrugged, "I don't know, Jess. But you have all of us now. He'd have to get through me and the guys before he could get close to you and even if he did that, he'd still have to face Bryan."

Jess shook her head. "Joe, there is no way I'm going everywhere with you five all the time. I'd rather face him than go through your screaming crowds day in and day out. Besides, I'm not planning on keeping Bryan with me when I'm at home. I only agreed to having security right now because you guys pushed for it and well, Johnny demanded it too. Once I'm out of the spotlight though, I'm going back to real life."

"This is your real life now, Babe. And if you think you're going to get by with no security, you've got another think coming. You won't have to have Bryan with you all the time, but there are going to be times when it is necessary, and I don't want to hear you complain about it. Our goal is to keep you safe because we love you and we don't want anything to happen to you. So you're going to have security when it's deemed necessary and you're going to like it, understand?"

She rolled her eyes, knowing that it was easier at this point to agree with Joey rather than try to argue with him. "Fine, Joe," she huffed.

"Good. Now that that is settled, you need to get some sleep, Angel."

"I uh, I don't know, Joe..." she hesitated.

"Nothing to worry about," he assured her. "You're sleeping here with me, so no nightmares."

"I guess it could work," she still wasn't entirely convinced.

"Of course it could. Especially once you start to imagine that Super Joey is going to fly into your dream and beat the shit out of that asshole," he grinned.

Jess laughed and snuggled a little closer to Joey before closing her eyes, "OK. Thanks, Joey."

"Anytime, Angel," Joey whispered. He kissed her forehead and allowed himself to doze as well.

Joey was awakened a couple hours later when he heard some of the others start to get up and move around.

Chris popped a sleepy bed-head into the living room. "Hey Joe. Why are you sleeping with my girl?"

"'Cause I was lonely and she was here," Joey smiled insolently. "No, really, neither of us could sleep, so we came back here to talk."

"Is she OK?" Chris frowned in concern.

"Yeah, she'll be fine, Chris. She's going through a rough patch, but she's going to make it."

"I pray to God you're right, Joey. I'm starting to get scared. She's pulling away from me, and I think she's distancing herself from JC too." Chris gently stroked her hair.

"I know," Joey sighed. He shifted in his seat a little. "Hey, Chris, would you care to change places with me? I really need to go."

Chris smiled. "An opportunity to hold my girl? You don't even have to ask! Of course I'll do it."

It took some careful manoeuvring but they were able to get themselves and Jess sorted out.

Joey made a quick dash for the bathroom and then headed up to the front of the bus to grab some breakfast.