Jess looked down at Chris kneeling in front of her. "Could you get up please? You're making me nervous!"
Chris suddenly became aware of his position and laughed, "Don't worry, I'm making me nervous too!" He stood up, but didn't know quite where to place himself.
"You can sit beside me, I won't freak out," Jess smiled shyly and patted the seat Joey had just vacated. "Besides, I could really use a hug if you don't mind."
"Of course I don't mind!" Chris sat down, leaned back and got comfortable before pulling Jess into his arms. Both breathed deeply in contentment as she laid her head on his chest. Chris smoothed down her hair, continuing to stroke her head and helping her to start to relax for the first time since their ill-fated game had started.
"Jessamyn, I know you've been through hell tonight, but there's something I need to know."
Jess took her time responding. She concentrated on Chris's heartbeat, tapping his chest gently with the pad of her finger in time to his heart. She sighed tiredly, "I'll make you a deal. I'll answer one question tonight and then if you have any more, can we talk tomorrow?"
He shrugged, "Sure, honey, that sounds fair." Chris sucked up his courage, not sure that he really wanted to have his question answered. He ran his hands up and down her back, trying to cover his nervousness. "OK, so I have to know, are you...are you afraid of me?"
Jess lifted her head and met his timid gaze, "What? Chris, no! Why would you think I'm scared of you?"
"Well, now that I know what happened to you, I can't help but wonder if you tensed up on me before because you were worried that I could hurt you like he did."
"Oh, Chris!" Jess felt terrible. She reached up to cup his cheek. "No, sweetheart, I'm not afraid of you. I know you aren't going to hurt me physically. Truthfully, being with you is one of the few things that makes me feel safe. I get edgy because I'm certain things are going too well and aren't going to last-they never do."
He noticed that she had specified physical pain only, but he let her comment slide for the moment. He knew she was emotionally wrung out and could not handle another dramatic conversation this evening. Instead, hugged her, squeezing her so tightly she giggled. "OK, so we'll talk tomorrow?"
"You bet." She smiled, "I need to talk to JC and the other guys, and then I'm going to bed."
"Sounds like a plan. Why don't you take a minute for yourself and I'll send JC to you?"
"OK." Jess reached out to grab Chris's hand as got up. She pulled him back to her and kissed his cheek. "Thanks, Chris."
He smiled as he ran the back of his fingers up and down her cheek. "Anytime, sweetheart."
************
JC warily made his way back to the front of the bus. Chris had said that Jess was fine, but he wouldn't be reassured until he had seen her with his own eyes. He found Jess pacing the aisle, stretching her arms over her head.
She caught him in the her line of vision and turned to him, holding her arms out. "I love you, Joshie."
He let her fold him in her hug. "I love you too, Jessie. I'm sor-"
"No!" Jess reached up and covered his mouth. "Don't you dare apologize! Thank you for helping me to finally tell them, I never would have done it without you. The truth is I wouldn't even be alive today if it wasn't for you, so don't feel bad for helping me to do what needed to be done."
JC cupped her head to his chest. "You're stronger than you know, baby girl," he whispered hoarsely, afraid that he might start crying again.
They held their embrace for a few minutes, each gaining strength from the other until Jess broke the silence. "Josh, I am so tired. I hate to ask you another favour, but could you please talk to the guys for me about what happened after the fact? I really can't go through explaining it all tonight."
"Sure, hon, I'll tell them. Don't worry about asking me to do this for you, OK? Talking about it is actually going to help me too."
She nodded slightly, "OK. Thank you. Now I guess I'd better go say good night to those guys before they start worrying about me."
Jess had barely parted the privacy curtain before Joey hollered her name and grabbed her into a big bear hug. He suddenly pushed her away, holding her at arms' length so he could get a better look at her. "You OK? You want something to eat? Want some pasta and sauce? Some fruit? You look hungry."
Jess laughed and put a hand out to stop Joey from opening the fridge. "Joe, I'm good, but thanks."
"OK," he smiled sheepishly. "Sorry, you know the Italian need to feed to feel better always gets me!"
"It's OK, but, I'll take a rain check on some Joey cuisine!"
"It's a deal!" he laughed. "When I get back to Orlando, you are totally coming over for dinner."
"Sure," she smiled. "It's a date."
Jess turned from Joey and was surprised to be almost smothered by Justin. He didn't say anything at first, just held her close, rubbing her back and burying his head in her neck. "I'm so sorry," he whispered, his voice heavy with unshed tears.
She wanted to tell him that he had nothing to be sorry for, to tell him that she was going to be fine, to tell him how much his friendship meant to her, but she just didn't have it in her tonight. Instead, she broke away and moved quickly to Lance. She allowed him only the briefest of hugs and went down the aisle to the bunks.
There she found Chris sitting on the edge of her bunk, with the bedding pulled back, just waiting for her to get in. Chris patted the bed. "Sit down, I'll tuck you in." She did as he asked and he leaned down to pull off her shoes. He stood back and pulled up the covers as she lay down. He tucked Pat under her arm and made sure the covers were up to her chin.
"Goodnight, sweetheart," he whispered as he leaned over and kissed her cheek.
"Will you stay until I fall asleep?" she asked drowsily.
"Of course." He lay on his side to fit into the small bunk with her. She turned her back to him so he could spoon her. As he put his arm around her, he commented, "Geez, sweetie, you're so tense!" He rubbed her shoulders, trying to help her relax a bit. "You were starting to loosen up before, what happened?"
Jess responded only with a grunt. She was too tired to get into it with him now and she wasn't entirely sure why anyway.
It didn't matter. He answered his own question. "You're over thinking again, aren't you? Sweetie, you need to stop so you can sleep. I can practically hear the gears in your brain running."
"Chris, if it was that easy to stop thinking, I'd have done it by now," she mumbled.
"I know, honey. Try to focus on relaxing your body into mine, OK?" He leaned over and kissed again, then lay back down beside her.
Jess's tension slowly eased as Chris once again played with her hair. He quietly sang snippets of songs as he watched sleep slowly come to her. He waited a few minutes after he knew she was asleep before he cautiously crawled out of the bunk and rejoined the others.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Heavens! An update!! It's been awhile, but it has taken me some time to figure out where this story is heading. Now that I know, hopefully I can get writing and finish this puppy up. Thanks for sticking with me :)
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Story Tags: celebritysync jc chris
