Author's Chapter Notes:
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Once Rachel picked up the kids, we were ready to start our night… just the two of us. It’s been awhile since we’ve been alone. But things were weird, something is definitely going on. I cooked dinner, chicken Parmesan, his favorite. I cooked the chicken and he just stood at the kitchen sink, washing the vegetables for the salad. Usually he would be right behind me, with his arms wrapped around me as I cooked… but not tonight. We were at opposite sides of the kitchen, hardly even talking. He’d usually have asked me at least a hundred times by now if we can skip the meal and just go straight to ‘dessert’. But once again, not tonight. We spent the night with a lot of one-sided conversation. He seemed to answer any question I had with one word. It’s like we’re on a first date and neither of us know what to say instead of the fact that we’ve been married for six years. I wish he would just tell me what’s going on.
When we finished eating we made our way up to the bedroom. I went to get changed into the Victoria Secret outfit I had bought for this occasion. When I walked out of the bathroom he was laying on the bed in his boxers. He looked over at me, but there wasn’t even a slight smile covering his face. “I missed you so much”
“I missed you too,” he said as he sat up on the bed and I sat down next to him. He kissed me gently as I fell down and he crawled on top of me and we continued to make love, if you could even call it that. It wasn’t making love it was having sex, not because either of us wanted to but because we felt like we should. Usually when we’re making love Justin is kissing me throughout the whole time, but not tonight. It’s like I had to be the one kissing him. I’ll admit when we first started dating it annoyed the hell out of me that he had to have his lips attached to some part of my body throughout the whole love making experience. But I quickly got used to it, it’s much more passionate that way, and now I wouldn’t have it any other way. But for some reason, the only time his lips were attached to my body at all were when I was kissing them. We’re usually so in tune, like we’re in each others minds the whole time, but tonight it was like I was making love with a total stranger.
We always look into each other eyes, right as we’re about to come. And that he did, which I was worried he wouldn’t and that right there would have been the end of it. I looked into his eyes but he wasn’t looking back at me. Well he was, physically he was looking back at me but mentally he wasn’t. He was looking into my eyes but not into my soul like he always does. Something’s going on. His mind was somewhere else. He’s thinking about someone else.
As I lay in bed with my arms around my wife I realized for the first time what exactly I was doing. Kim’s breathing heavily… she must be sleeping. I quietly snuck out of bed and went into the bathroom. I took a deep breath as I looked into the mirror. What the fuck am I doing? I splashed my face with cold water and clenched my hair in my fists. How am I going to do this? I took another deep breath and walked out of the bathroom and into reality. Kim was sitting up in bed with the sheet covering her naked body. I smiled slightly and lay down next to her. I pulled the covers over my body, “Aren’t you going to sleep?” I asked as I went to reach for the light but she stopped me.
She looked at me for a second, and then she looked down as she spoke softly, “What’s going on?”
“N… nothings going on Kim, it’s like 2 in the morning I’m tired, I’m ready for bed” I stuttered like a fool, which of course was proof that there is indeed something going on.
“Cut the shit Justin and tell me what’s going on”
I sat up and looked into her eyes. It’s like I had just stabbed her or something, her eyes didn’t have that glow they usually did. How the hell can I do this? I sat looking and my fingers and took a deep breath, “Kimberly I love you more than anyone I’ve ever loved my entire life, and probably more than I will ever love anyone. And I always will love you, no matter what happens I will always love you. Know that, please remember that”
“What do you mean no matter what happens?” she cut me off
“Things have changed between us” I began and I had to look away from her because I knew I was breaking her heart the more I spoke, and it was killing me, “I… I just think” I paused because I felt myself choke up a little, “maybe we should spend some time apart”
“What?” I heard her whisper; she tried to say it but couldn’t get the word out.
“It’s not fair for you to live with me like this”
“What?” she repeated and I looked up at her to see tears making their way down her almost flawless face, “No” she shook her head “No” she continued as she sniffled back the tears, “What are you talking about time apart? We don’t need time apart that’s all we have is time apart. We need time together. We need to like go on vacation or something, we need to be together”
“I’m so sorry” I managed to get out
“No” she just shook her head, “This can’t be happening. No. Please no. Please. Justin please don’t do this”
“Baby we need to do this. We need to spend some time apart so we can figure some stuff out”
“What do you mean we need to figure some stuff out? I have everything figured out Justin, we’ve been married for six years, I figured everything out before I said I do” this is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my entire life.
“I’m so sorry Kimberly”
“There’s someone else isn’t there?” she asked the question I was most afraid of, “It’s Leah isn’t it?” I didn’t say anything, or even look up at her, I couldn’t do it, “Nevermind, that tells me everything” she said softly and I managed to look up at her for a second to see a look of disgust cover her face and I quickly looked away. “I knew it” she said softly and then stood up. “I fucking knew it!” she yelled as she quickly put her clothes on and threw a book at me “How the fuck can you be out with this fucking 21 year old when you have a fucking wife and kids at home? What is wrong with you?” she screamed and that was the first time I ever heard her scream in my life. She never yells, she’s always calm. She never really swears either and to hear her say the word fuck multiple times in the same sentence just showed the how intense she really was “What is wrong with you?” she repeated between sobs. It was like she was yelling and crying at the same time, she was struggling to get the words out, “I can’t even look at you. I can’t even fucking look at you do you understand this?”
“Baby please”
“No… no” she paused, “Alright, Justin. So we’ll separate, which means you can continue frolicking around the world with your little 21-year-old home wrecker. And I will stay here with our two children like I always do. So you can continue your fucking cheating ways and I’ll just stay here taking care of our babies. I’ll wake up at 2 when Jacob has a nightmare and then again at 4 when Hailey can’t sleep, and then again at 6 when Jacob’s up for the day. I’ll continue the doctor’s appointments and school shopping while their daddy’s off somewhere fucking his opening act”
“Kimberly come on you can’t honestly say that things haven’t been messed up between us”
“Well obviously because you’re never here. Which is why the solution to that problem is not spending more time apart”
“Come on Kimberly, you have to admit we kinda rushed into things”
“No I don’t. After six years you’re figuring out we rushed into things?” she paused, “You need to grow up and take some responsibility,” she said as she began packing her things up
“For what?” I asked as I sat in bed unable to move
“Your life” she looked right at me when she said it, and I can’t even explain how many pieces she broke my heart into with those two words.
“Kimberly come on,” I said as I stood up and grabbed onto her arm
“Don’t touch me” she pulled away from me, again making me feel the size of an ant, “I honestly do not understand you. We took an oath Justin, you see this?” she held up her ring finger, “We said till death do us part not till something better comes along”
“Come on Kim, it’s not like that, don’t be so upset”
“Oh ok” she paused and laughed through her tears, “I’ll be happy. I’m so happy Justin that you cheated on me after six years with your little hoe of an opening act. I’m so happy that you want to destroy everything we’ve worked so hard to achieve just so you can fuck around with a 21 year old” she paused as the crying took over once again, “So happy” she whispered as she grabbed her bag and walked towards the door
“Where are you going?”
“Separating” she didn’t even look at me as she walked through the house and to her car. I watched her from the bedroom window, and she sped off. What have I done?
Story Tags: daddyj celebrityj cheaterj postsync proposal marriedj
