Spiraling was not the word for the emotional state that she was in right now. The emotional roller coaster she had been on since Justin's phone call a few hours earlier was like no other she had ever experienced. Having a less than great relationship with her boys, and a nonexistent relationship with the daughter she had given up all those years ago. She could not even comprehend the fact that her baby girl wanted to meet her. The one she still dreamed about regularly. It simply could not be real. 

She shook her head, and tried earnestly to clear her mind. No matter how it turned out, it would be a dream come true for her. Picking up her phone off the bathroom counter, she scrolled through the numbers until she hit Jayden. That was her youngest. And the most likely to talk to her.  Pushing the number, and taking a deep breath she waited. The phone rang once, twice , three times and then went to voice mail.

" Jayden James, It's mom. Please call me back. I really need to speak to you and Preston. Please. This is serious." Sighing as she hung up the phone, putting it back down on the counter where it had been. Who knew if either one of her boys would call her back? She busied herself with packing a small carry-on bag for the flight she had booked after her call with Justin that morning.

For a moment  she thought she was hearing things, when her phone jingled on the counter.

Dare she think that either one of her kids would call her back in such a timely fashion?Dropping the bag on the floor in the bathroom, and picked up the phone .There she saw Jayden's number there on the screen.  She always knew that she could count on her baby to call her back. 

" Hello?" She said as brightly as she could muster. 

" Mama? Are you OK?" Jayden's deep voice boomed on the other side of the line. 

" I'm fine. It's good to hear your voice , Jay." She said, speaking honestly . She had not seen , nor spoken to her baby in a little over a year. 

" Did you need something Mama?" He asked , she could hear the curiosity in his voice. If he only knew what she needed to tell him and his brother. 

" Do you think that you and your brother can come out to the house?" She asked, feeling like he was going to come up with some excuse to not come to the house. 

"I'll talk to Preston about it. When?" Jayden replied, srprising her. 

" Today. As soon as possible. I have something that I need to tell you and your brother. And it is something that I will not discuss over the phone." She paused, " Jayden, there is something else."

"What?"

" Do not tell your Dad or Victoria where you are going. I promise it won't take long. "

" Mom. If this is another one of your lies....." Jayden left the end of the sentence open.

" It's not a lie, Jayden . Please, Just talk to Preston and let me know one way or the other. I'll be waiting for your call." She pleaded with her child.  With that said, she ended the call. Knowing that this wait was going to be dreadful.

*******

 About an hour later, Jayden had called her back and said that he and his brother were on their way. She tried not to let herself get too excited about seeing them. It could and more than likely, go south on her very soon. Especially when I tell them what I have to tell them. 

There was a knock on the front door. She took a moment to collect herself before answering the door. 

Preston was the first to enter the house, followed by his little brother Jayden. Only they weren't so little anymore. Grown men stood before her. Looking more like their father everyday. Preston stepped forward and smiled at his mother. She had not looked this good the last time he had seen her. He hugged her and she returned the hug. 

" Hey Mama."

She pulled back from his embrace, and looked him up and down, like the mother that she was. 

" Hey there yourself , Pres. How are you?"

" I'm good."

She then went to her baby boy. Who now towered over her and his brother. At a gangly 6" 2 inches tall, Jayden was the spitting image of his dad. Thank God he did not act like him. 

" Mama, you look good."

" Thank you, Jay." She said, as she led them into the large living area. Where they all took a seat on the giant white couches that surrounded the room. 

" What did you want to tell us?" Preston asked, not one to beat around the bush. 

Britney squared her shoulders and sat up straight. It was now or never.  " I wanted to tell you something about the time I was with Justin."

Jayden looked almost offended.  He had a real disdain for his mother's former boyfriend. Especially since he had read her book. That damn book, the book she wished that she had never been talked into writing. 

" That asshole made you get an abortion. Not that it wasn't your choice to do it. But, he is still an asshole for even saying that you needed to get one." Jayden raged, Preston crossing his arms across his chest watching his brother fume. 

" No I didn't." Britney said quietly, Looking sown at the shiny tile floor. Then up at the ceiling. 

That statement stopped Jayden cold, he fell silent. Preston scooted up to the end of the couch.

" Mama, what are you saying?"

" I did not get an abortion." She admitted . And God if it didn't feel good to say it out loud. The fact that her baby girl was a living , breathing being.

" What do you mean if you didn't get the abortion. Then where is the kid?" Preston asked, floored by his mother's statement.

" In Tennessee."  Shit....This was not going the way I wanted it to. She thought to herself.

" You gave it up for adoption?" Jayden finally spoke.

" Not exactly." She replied, now feeling uncomfortable . Preparing herself for the onslaught of questions she knew were coming.

" Not exactly what?" Preston pressed his mother for more information than she had given so far. 

" Your big sister, Ava Lea. Was born on August 18,2001. She was born at around 5:30 in the morning. The labor was long and hard. But then , all of a sudden there she was . This tiny little thing. Barley weighed in at 6 lbs. Justin was there. We held her for a while so I could say goodbye to her. Then her parents came and got her."

Britney got up off the couch and walked to the back of the living room where the floor to ceiling windows were.There she stood , crossing her arms over her chest for comfort. 

"Some of Justin's family, ones who could not have a child of their own. Agreed to raise your sister as their own."

" Why?" Jayden asked.

" Because we both agreed that we were too young to be parents. And We wanted her raised in a place where all she would know was love. And I knew that no one on my side of the family fit that bill. So, when Eliza and James came forward, we Jumped at the chance. We wanted to keep Your grandparents as far away from her as possible. It was literally the hardest thing I ever had to do, Jayden."

" So what dose this have to do with us?" Preston asked his mother.

" She wants to meet me, and you two. Justin called me this morning.  She had gotten angry and taken off. She was headed to your Grandma Lynne's house in Kentwood. Nothing good will come of that."

" You and Justin gave up your daughter to keep her away from your parents?"

" Yes. We did it together. We did what we thought was right for your sister. Neither one of us had any business raising a kid at that time in our lives. I wanted her to have a normal life. Something that neither one of us had. "

An awkward silence fell over the three in the room. It stayed that way for a while. Until jayden broke the silence. 

" I want to meet my sister. " He said simply, and it made her heart sing. 

" Me too Baby, me too." She said, as the tears that had been held back for years finally hit her. 

 Preston stood to his feet, and went to comfort his mother. 

" She's in Kentwood?"

" That's what Justin said. She was headed to Kentwood. He said he would get back to me when he found her. "

'So, she knows her Dad?"

" Yes."

" How the hell is that fair?" Preston asked, the anger was evident in his voice. 

" It's not. But, then again, Preston. None of this was fair. We did what we had to do at the time. And now are having to reap what we sew.  She was in the best possible environment with two people who loved her and care about her. That is all I really cared about."

" But, he got to see her grow up. And you didn't"

" I chose to stay away. So, she could have a normal life. You know as well as I do. That having me and Justin for parents. She would have never had a normal life. He watched from a distance, just like me.  We chose this together. And I think that it was the best decision that I ever made, No matter how much it hurt."

" Grandpa made your life a living hell. I don't blame you for what you did." Preston said, out of the blue. 

" Yes, for a time he did. " She reflected, not wanting to drag the boys down any further than she already had. 

" Then you need to meet her, Mama. You need to meet Ava." 

" So, I have your support in this? Because you two know that would mean the world to me. That you two and your sister are what keep me going."She whispered into her son's chest. Preston ran his hand up and down her back trying his best to comfort her. 

" Yes Mama, we support you. Right Pres?"

" Yes. Go and bring our sister home. "

" That will be for Ava to decide. I just want get a chance to know her, or at the very least say I got to meet her. " 

" Well, I hope that she makes the right choice."

" I think that she will."