July 2001

The entire ride had been quiet. Not comfortable silence, the kind where words weren't needed. No, it was an intense and oppressive silence. The kind that made Char want to launch herself out of the front seat of the car and right into oncoming traffic. The drive from Los Angeles to Malibu had been excruciating, and now that they'd finally made it to their destination, she didn't want to get out of the car. As they sat parked are the edge of the driveway, Char stared up at the palatial Mediterranean villa, bustling with people. The thought of facing their friends filled her with dread.

"Well, are we gonna go in?" JC asked, breaking the silence.

"Wow, he speaks," Char muttered as she unfastened her seatbelt.

"Don't start," JC warned.

Char snapped head in the direction of the driver's seat to look at JC. "Are you kidding me right now? Me, start?" she asked incredulously, pointing to herself. "I didn't start this. You did!"

Squeezing his eyes shut and throwing his head back against the headrest he let out a deep, low groan and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Look, let's just try and have a good time tonight, okay?"

"Wow!" Char exclaimed. "Unbelievable!"

"Excuse me?" JC asked, giving her a quizzical look.

"You're a giant asshole to me all day, and now you wanna deflect and act like everything's fine?" From the time she woke up until this very moment her boyfriend had been a complete jerk to her, and she couldn't figure out what she'd done. He wouldn't tell her, and any time she tried to question him, he'd snap at her. They'd been doing so good lately, and she finally thought these... rough patched were behind him. But once again, JC had completely flipped on her, completely out of nowhere. Literally overnight. He was like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, and it was draining. She couldn't keep up with his mood swings, and she felt like she was starting to crack.

"Oh, so you really just wanna go in there and fight in front of all of our friends?"

No, she absolutely did not. In fact, she'd prefer that no one knew what was going on between them. She hated that he was right, but they were here now, so she had no other choice but to grin and bear it. "Fine," she conceded. "Let's put on a happy face and try to have a good time. But we are so talking about this when we get home."

JC rolled his eyes and let out an exasperated sigh. "Fine, whatever. C'mon let's go."

Char hurriedly grabbed her purse and hopped out of the front seat of the Navigator before JC had the chance to walk over and open her door for her. She knew she was being petty, but she didn't want him being chivalrous when he was simultaneously being a giant dick to her.

"Seriously?" JC asked just as she was slamming the door.

Char glared at him. "If I can handle Hurricane Josh, then I can certainly open my own door."

"I thought we agreed to put on a happy face," JC replied.

"We're not in the house yet," Char said. "I still have a few more feet to get out my last vestiges of angst."

"You are so dramatic," JC sighed.

"Yeah, well you made me this way," Char retorted.

"Let's just please get through the night, and then we can talk about things in the morning. I promise," said JC.

"Oh, so now you're moving goalposts?" Char asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Ugh!" JC groaned. "That's not what I'm- I'm not moving goalposts," he said defensively.

"I know what you're trying to do," Char replied. "You're hoping that I drink enough to loosen myself up to the point that I won't even be mad anymore. We go home, have great sex, wake up in the morning, and pretend like the past eight hours didn't just happen." They were stuck in the same cycle. Wash, rinse, repeat.

"That's not what I'm doing," JC promised her. "Listen, I'm sorry, okay?"

Char folded her arms across her chest and gave him a suspicious look. When she didn't say anything, he continued. "I know I haven't been the easiest to deal with lately, and again, I'm sorry for that. I don't mean to take it out on you-"

"But you do!" Char interjected.

"And I shouldn't. I just-" JC paused, searching for the right words to convey his remorse in a succinct manner, as not to make a scene in the driveway, where people could see them. "I can't get into everything now, but please just be patient with me."

Char contemplated his words. This had been a months long cycle between them. A draining, exhausting cycle. However, she loved him. And that's why she stayed. But now, her patience was beginning to wear thin. "Fine," she conceded. "But we're hashing this out tonight."

"Fine," JC agreed. "Let's just get through the party, and then we can go home and talk."

"Okay. Let's go," Char said, nodding her head in the direction of the front door. "I'm just ready to get this over with." As she made her way up the driveway alongside JC, she had a sinking feeling in her stomach. The last thing she wanted to do was pretend to be happy in front of all of their friends, when the reality was, they were anything but. She had an inkling that this was going to be a long night.

***

The ride home had been equally as tortuous as the ride to Malibu. As they rode down the highway in complete and total silence, Char stared out the window, watching the rain fall from the night sky as the events of the night replayed in her mind.

"Are you and Josh, okay?" Autumn asked, observing the icy interactions between the two.

"Yeah, we're fine." Char lied. "Why?"

"Because if I didn't know you two, I wouldn't even be able to tell that you were a couple," Autumn answered honestly.

Char took a sip of her Rum and Coke hoping the slight burn of Captain Morgan would dissolve the lump in her throat. She'd tried to put on a happy face, just like she and JC agreed to, but she was left confused and humiliated when he'd given her the cold shoulder the whole night.

"So, you're really just not going to talk to me?" JC asked.

Char turned her head to look over at him. "Seriously?" She scoffed. She could not believe his audacity.

"Excuse me?" JC asked, giving her a quizzical look.

"With the way you treated me tonight, you expect me to talk to you?" The night was supposed to be fun. Hanging with their friends, watching the Jones vs. Gonzalez fight on pay-per-view. It was supposed to be a laid back, chill time. But instead, the entire time had been awkward with JC acting noticeably cold and distant toward her, in front of all of their friends.

"You're the one that want to talk!" JC countered.

"Because of you!" Char snapped. "You wanna act normal in front of our friends. You want us to put on happy faces. Okay, I try and do that, and yet it's still not good enough! I am trying here. I don't know what else to do, Josh! You act like I'm some clingy girlfriend, but then again, you don't want it to appear as if we're fighting in front of our friends!"

"We're not fighting," JC snapped.

"Then what the hell are we doing?" Char demanded. "No. you're right. We're not fighting, because you have to actually talk to do that!" JC fell silent once again, and Char turned around in her seat, staring back out the window. Being confined to a car with him was akin to being locked in a torture chamber. His entire aura was so incredibly suffocating that she felt like it'd be the death of her. He'd be the death of her.

***

An hour later, Char was relieved to finally be home. She could not be in the same vicinity with her boyfriend much longer. The minute he unlocked the door, she stormed into the foyer, and up the stairs to their bedroom with complete tunnel vision. As soon as she entered their room she headed for their shared walk-in closet, and immediately started grabbing her clothes off their hangers.

"What are you doing?" JC asked in a panic.

Char turned to see him standing in the doorway. She'd been so in her head that she hadn't even heard him walk into the bedroom. She could see the rising panic in his eyes, and it put an immediate stop to her urgency. "I- I can't do this anymore," she said meekly.

"You're... leaving?" JC hesitated. "You're leaving me."

Hearing the crack in his voice almost broke her. Char could feel her own throat beginning to constrict. She began to move around the closet, because if she kept still, she'd give in, like she'd done what felt like a million times before.

"You're that mad?" He questioned.

Char braced herself on the center island. "I'm not mad," she whispered. And it was true. She wasn't. Not anymore. She was long past anger. "I am tired, Josh. I'm so damn tired of fighting with you. I'm exhausted! Going through these cycles with you, not knowing what kind of mood you'll be in. Or when things are okay, and when they're not. I can't keep up anymore. I just, I can't do it anymore," she whimpered, wiping a tear away.

"Look," Char said, as she began pacing back and forth. It was now or never. She couldn't keep holding everything in. She was at her breaking point. "I know that something is going on with you that you're not telling me. It's clear that you're going through something. And I don't fault you for that. But I'm also your partner, and we're supposed to be in this thing together. But instead of letting me in, you ice me out. You've built up this impenetrable wall, and instead of letting me be there for you, you take things out on me. And I can only take so much! I love you! Do you know that? I love you so fucking much that I'd sacrifice my sanity and my own happiness for you! You're my entire world, and I don't even think that's healthy! I love you with my whole heart, and I know that something's wrong. I'm not blind! I get that you're hurting, but you're hurting me too, and I can't keep being your punching bag!"

The room fell silent. JC stared at her longingly, the pain in his eyes palpable. The look he gave her was ripping her apart. But she couldn't keep forcing the issue if he wasn't willing to be forthcoming. When she realized he wasn't going to say anything, she walked back over to her side of the closet and pulled out a suitcase.

"Dammit! Don't leave!" JC shouted.

Char turned back around to face him. "Then give me a reason to stay!" She yelled back.

"I've been talking to my dad," JC confessed.

Arching an eyebrow, Char gave him a confused look. "Okay. I- I don't understand..."

"My bio dad," JC clarified. "He's dying, Char."