Alani seemed to toss and turn that night. Her impending departure was all she could think about. She also couldn’t stop beating herself up over not telling JC her true feelings. As usual she had chickened out, and now she was going to be heading back to Maui, still holding onto those feelings. 

The room was dark and with a small glow of light casting from under the curtain as daylight was starting to creep in. Her trip had come to an end. Thinking about leaving was causing her stomach to turn and her heart to race. She laid in bed listening to the soft snores coming from JC sleeping peacefully beside her. She turned to her side to watch him sleep. His hair was strewn across his pillow, as he lay on his back, his bare chest softly rising and falling with each breath. She contemplated waking him up to feel him one last time. She held back her tears as she lay there, feeling more anxious as time went by. Finally, she slowly got out of bed and decided to shower before the day began.

She turned on the water, letting it warm up for a bit, before shedding her clothing and stepping inside the spacious shower. The warm water fell onto her body, the warmth consuming her. She thought a shower would help her wash away her problems. Instead, it just gave her more time to think, more time to become upset and soon she was standing under the shower head as water and a mixture of her own tears cascaded down her body. She didn’t know how long she stood there before she heard the shower door open and turned to see JC peek his head inside, “Can I join you?”

She wiped her face, knowing it was useless to do so. He could read her like a book. JC knew she had been crying. He had heard her soft cries when he woke up and saw that she was no longer in bed.

“Sure,” She gave him a weak smile. Seconds later, he stepped inside and engulfed her body into his arms. He looked at her face, flushed, wet hair stuck to the sides of her face.The first time they parted ways was very similar, the only difference being so many more emotions were involved now. 

“I heard you crying,” He said, pushing her hair to the side, “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really,” she mumbled into his chest.

He lifted her chin, “Hey, talk to me, baby.”

“It’s just hitting me that I have to leave you. I’m not ready to leave yet,” She said softly, burying her face into his chest again.

He held her, letting her get her emotions out, just wanting to comfort her.

“I don’t want you to leave either. You know I'm not making you, but I do know you have obligations back home. I just hope that you come back soon.”

“I’m going to miss you, Josh.”

“I’m going to miss you too, honey.” He kissed her on top of her damp head.

Alani looked up and met his lips for a sweet kiss, deepening it trying to tell him what had been on her mind for hours. 

JC wanted her to know how he felt. He loved her, and wanted her to know that before she left and potentially didn't see him for months again. He was afraid of making that leap and the feeling not being reciprocated but there was so much at stake.

He grabbed a loofah and lathered it with soap, gently washed her body with care. Alani watched him, noticing how careful and determined he was. Her heart was in a bittersweet turmoil of love and despair. He quickly washed his own body as she rinsed. He found himself fighting the urge to make love to her, wondering if it would be the last time they would have the chance to.

They embraced again, staying like that for as long as possible. The steam from the shower billowed around them. Their fingertips had long turned wrinkled but none of that seemed to matter.

—

An hour later, they sat across from each other at the airport coffee shop, each with a piping hot coffee in front of them. 

“I had a really good time with you this week,” JC spoke, breaking the uneasy silence. Alani had said very little since that morning. 

Alani twirled a strand of hair around her forefinger nervously and gave him a weak smile. “Me too.”

Inside her head, a war was waging. She never expected to come out here and fall in love. There were deep feelings there before but who knew all this could transpire in a few days together. Since the night before, she had mulled over the idea of telling him. Would it be worth it to confess what she was feeling or would it be a huge disappointment when he didn’t express the same sentiment? Should she go home to Maui and never return or should she move to LA and try to give this relationship a chance? Her heart knew what it wanted, but her brain was trying to talk her out of it.

“So what's on your agenda when you get back?” He asked, making small talk.

“Well, first I’ll probably catch up with Kala, get a very long nap and work on Lance and Micael’s photos.” 

“I can’t wait to see the pictures. I know they're going to be great.”

She smiled and took a sip of her latte, “Thank you. You’re so supportive, JC. I don’t have anyone in my life that hypes me up like that. I appreciate it.” 

He felt a slight twinge in his heart, partly admiration for her, and empathy for her lack of a support system. He was lucky to have his circle of friends, and family that was always there to support his hopes and dreams. He felt sorry that she didn’t have that, and he was sure that played a huge part in her apprehension to really get into photography – or to make any big decisions about her life.

“I’ll always support you, honey,” He wrapped his hands around hers and held her gaze. The genuine nature of the statement hitting her right in her chest. 

JC,” She swallowed the lump in her throat and pushed her doubts aside, “Can I tell you something?”

“Anything.” His eyes searched hers and he knew. He knew what they shared, “But I want to tell you first.”

She nodded for him to continue. 

“I love you. It’s so crazy. We live in two different worlds and it's no secret that I want you in mine.” He paused and took a deep breath, trying to maintain his courage. “But it doesn’t matter to me where you are. I love you whether you're here with me or across the ocean.”

Alani looked down at their joined hands and felt him squeeze them encouragingly. It was right there on the tip of her tongue, but she was taken aback by him saying it first. By all accounts of what she had learned about him, he would never say it first. She had resigned to the fact that she would have to be the one to initiate it, and she didn’t. 

“You love me?” She managed to squeak out. She had played this moment in her head over and over and rehearsed what she would say and now she was speechless. 

“Yes, I love you. I wish I wasn’t telling you in an airport coffee shop but I can't let you get on that plane without knowing how I feel.  I don’t usually do this, Alani. I have been fucked over so many times. I wont say I was never open to loving someone again but it damn sure wasn't my plan when I came to Maui.”

Alani studied his face as he continued and wondered how the hell she was going to leave now. How do you leave something so perfect?

“I fell in love with your infectious smile, your sassy attitude, your ambition and determination, your hair, I really love your hair,” He chuckled and she smiled, “But no really, Alani you have this insane hold on me and all I want to do is make you happy, love you and show you how perfect you are.”

The tears were clouding over her eyes and she didn't really want to be a blubbering mess in such a public place, but he was saying all the right things. All the words she had longed to hear from a man. She had waited 35 long years to be treated the way that JC treated her. She blinked and felt the wetness on her cheeks, quickly working to wipe them away, but he beat her to it, leaning forward to wipe her cheek tenderly with his thumb, giving her the most honest and open smile. 

“You really have me crying at LAX? Damn you, Josh.”

He shrugged, “It had to be said. I’m sorry for making you upset.”

She shook her head vehemently, “I’m not upset. I'm happy as fuck. I love you, Josh. I do. I’ve been wanting to tell you but I am the biggest wuss and I freaked out. Joey told me you would never say it first, so you just surprised the shit out of me. I love you too.”

“Come here,” he motioned her over to him, scooting his chair back as an invitation for her to sit on his lap. She quickly made her way to him, throwing her arms around his neck. JC encircled his arms around her waist as she sat there in his lap so comfortably, both not caring where they were. The location didn't matter, only the love. 

Their own personal heartbreaks and life events had brought them to this moment. JC was so certain that the feelings were genuine. He knew from the moment he saw her that morning in the shower, pouring all her emotions out. Leaving him was hard for her too. The love was there and he acted on it and didn’t regret one single thing.

JC lovingly rubbed her back as she laid her head on his shoulder, breathing him in, trying to ingrain his scent and his touch into her brain. If home had a scent, it was this for her. He was home. 

Alani placed her hands on either side of his face, feeling the soft hairs of his beard as she stroked her thumbs against it. She brought her lips to his, tasting the remnants of coffee that lingered on his lips. When they parted, she looked him in his eyes, “I love you. I promise I’m coming back to you. Will you wait for me?”

“I love you too, baby. I’ll wait forever if it means I get to be with you.”