Nicole reclined in the high-top bar chair at Clancy's, a local 49ers bar, and focused intently on her phone, refreshing her fantasy football app. The atmosphere was electric as the 49ers and Seahawks battled it out on the screen. The bartender placed a pair of beers in front of her. Matt, a passionate 49ers supporter, slid into the seat next to her, grabbed a beer, and took a gulp.

"They might pull this off!" Matt said excitedly.

"I hope they do; I have Garoppolo, and those fumbles and interceptions lost me some points," Nicole explained. "I need Garoppolo to run or hand it off to Mostert," she added, doing some math in her head.

"What do you know about running plays? I thought you picked your fantasy football team based on looks," Matt laughed.

"I do. That's why Jimmy is my quarterback. But I'm learning the game, one fine ass man in tight pants at a time," Nicole giggled. "Gambling really creates a vested interest in sports outside of baseball."

Matt shook his head and returned his focus to the game. The 49ers managed to tie it up late, pushing the game into overtime. The bar was filled with collective tension, punctuated by cheers and gasps with each pivotal moment. Ultimately, the 49ers missed a crucial 45-yard field goal attempt, and on the next drive, the Seahawks scored, handing the 49ers and all the fans in the bar a loss, including Nicole, who lost her 10th week of fantasy football by 0.17 points.

Matt's phone lit up on the counter, as a text from his wife buzzed through.

Candace: Did you talk to her yet?

Matt huffed and tapped out a reply:

Matt: No. She seems fine.

Candace: Do not come home until you talk to her.

"Candace wondering where you are?" Nicole asked, noticing Matt's attention on the phone. She took a final pull from her beer and added, "I'm ready when you are."

Matt thought about the standard withholding of sex his wife enacts when he does not do as she said, and quickly lied. "No. The book club is still going on. You want one more drink?"

That was the lie that convinced Nicole to leave the house that evening. She had been holed up in her apartment for three weeks. Matt had only seen her for a matter of minutes, upon her initial return from New Mexico, when she hid out as his house, and made Candace wait for JC to pick up his car from hers. She even canceled family dinner the next week. She was supposed to host, but outside of going to work, Nicole didn't feel up to doing much else.  Candace urged Matt to spend time with her, get her out, talk to her, so they crafted a lie about Candace hosting a girl's night book club, and needing Matt to leave. Nicole took sympathy on him and said they could watch football at Clancy, one of the many bars in the short circumference of her home.

"I'm done drinking. I have to work in the morning," Nicole explained. She noticed the disappointment in Matt's eyes and invited him to come up to her apartment until his home was clear of women, save his wife.

The brisk November air carried with it a sense of tension as Nicole and Matt walked towards her apartment. Matt silent, trying to think of how to start the conversation. At the beginning of the evening, he assumed Josh would come up in some kind of natural way, but that was not the case. Besides, Nicole seemed almost like herself. She smiled, drank beer, chatted with other people at the bar. Maybe she was fine, and she just needed time to herself.

He followed her into her building, and they went up the elevator. There just was no good way to broach the subject. He'd hang out for a bit, then go home and tell his wife they talked and Nicole was fine. As they approached her front door, a package rested neatly against the wall. Matt picked it up and noted the return address: Josh Chasez. Guess the conversation about Josh would come up more naturally than he thought.

"Is that my Amazon package?" Nicole asked as she pushed her door open and led Matt inside.

"Not quite," Matt answered. "It's from Josh."

"What?" Nicole turned sharply and took the package from Matt. "I thought he got the point when he finally stopped calling last week."

"Have you talked to him?" Matt asked carefully.

"No!" she answered quickly, offended he would even ask her that. "That's what I mean, when you call a hundred times a day, and the person doesn't call you back, that might mean they don't want to talk to you."

Matt sat on the couch and eyed her cautiously as she placed the package on the counter.

"Nic, are you okay?" he asked sincerely.

Matt was not the one to verbalize his emotions and concern. He often just grunted in various tones to note his approval or disapproval, but Nicole knew he was being serious.

She sighed and sat down next to him, her eyes momentarily closing as if to shield herself from the chaos within. "I'm fine, Matt. Just looking forward to the day when Josh leaves me alone, and I can forget about all this."

But Matt persisted, "It's just, New Mexico was a lot, and you came home, and for the last three weeks, you've been MIA. I just worry, you know."

At that moment, Nicole's guard wavered, and the words spilled out. "I'm mad at myself, Matt. For thinking, I was in love with him," she stopped, suddenly surprising herself. It was the first time she admitted it to herself, let alone anyone else, that she loved him. "That I could be in love with him."

"Pretty sure he felt the same way. You don't travel across the country with someone for a lay, Nicole. If that's all he wanted, I'm sure there are plenty of girls who would line up." Nicole scoffed at his response. "Just because he made a mistake doesn't mean his feelings aren't real," Matt continued. "Maybe you should hear him out. Maybe you can try to save what you had."

Anger flashed in Nicole's eyes. "Save what? After everything that happened? Are you serious, Matt? I can't believe this is coming from you."

"Trust me, I would love to fucking clobber that guy. But not more than I want to see you happy. And he made you happy. The same way Jay made you happy."

"We are not bringing Jason into this." She stood up angrily. "Jason is dead, Matt. Quit digging him up!" Nicole almost immediately regretted her words the second she uttered them. "I think maybe you should go. I'm definitely ready for this conversation to be over, and I'm ready to go to bed."

Matt rose up, and grabbed Nicole by the wrist. "Hey, I'm sorry. I just need you to be okay."

"I'm okay, Matthew." She replied tersely, ushering him toward the door.

Nicole closed the door behind him and released a heavy breath. She locked the door and cut the lights. She glanced at the package she placed on the counter and turned away from it. It didn't feel worth opening at the moment. She took a quick shower and slid into her waiting bed, surrounded by the comforting darkness that matched the tangled thoughts in her mind. The room was silent, save for the occasional hum of distant city sounds. In the stillness, her mind echoed with thoughts and questions about Josh. She had done well, not thinking about him the last couple of days, and Matt and that dumb package had kicked everything back up, and as she lay there wishing for sleep, the spiral of thoughts crept in.

What if she called him? What if she reached out and heard his voice again, breaking the silence that had settled in since his last text went unanswered by her? The idea lingered in her mind, tempting her with the prospect of closure or perhaps, no matter how hard she wanted to not admit her desire for it, a rekindling.

As she stared at her phone on the nightstand, the glow of its screen beckoned her to reach out. The memory of his name on her screen sparked a vivid daydream. The possibility of hearing his voice again, the familiarity of his laughter, and the way he used to say her name - it all played out like a movie in her mind. In this imagined scenario, Nicole envisioned a conversation that unfolded like a carefully crafted script. The tension would dissolve, replaced by a warmth reminiscent of the connection they once shared. She would hear the sincerity in his voice, the regret for the mistake that drove them apart, and they could start over. But reality intervened, and her phone remained untouched. The fear of more heartache, the uncertainty of what a conversation with JC might unveil - it anchored her in hesitation. Calling him would only make it worse and give him more opportunities to lie and justify his actions. He hadn't made a mistake; he had only revealed his true character. She rolled over and clenched her eyes shut. JC had taken so much from her; she refused to let thoughts of him take this night of sleep away from her, too.