Nicole sat in the back of the Silver Line Express bus, three bags piled on top of her lap, trying to occupy as little space as possible. She hated driving, so unless she had practice or other after school obligations, the bus was her preferred method of transportation to and from work. She sometimes thought about moving somewhere closer to work, but the spiral that stemmed from that thought was too paralyzing. She and Jason had chosen Long Beach as the epicenter of their lives and the launching pad for their hopeful future together. She lived in the apartment they purchased together, surrounded by the furniture they selected together, in the neighborhood of restaurants and shops they used to frequent together. She felt both completely at home and utterly stuck, almost frozen in time. So, avoiding the idea of potentially moving or changing seemed like the easier option. Avoiding; that was her M.O.

As she settled into her seat at the back of the bus, she pushed her headphones into her ears and listened to the next episode of the Criminal podcast. Taking the bus allowed her to shut her eyes for just over an hour and indulge in true-crime podcasts, and that alone made the extended public transit commute worth it. She was halfway through the episode, and right as the murderer was about to be revealed, a series of taps on her arm snapped her back to the reality of the packed bus. She opened her eyes and found Patrick's bright white smile shining down at her. 

"Hey Girl!" he shouted so she could hear him over the audio of her headphones. 

Nicole, pulled the headphones from her ears, smiled back up at him, and shifted slightly in her seat, making room for him to sit next to her. "Hey Patrick. I haven't seen you on here in a while."

Patrick was a property manager for homeless veterans housing complexes throughout the South Los Angeles area. He and Nicole often rode the same bus to and from work. He squeezed in next to her. "Yeah, they have me at a new site most of the time now, but I had to go back to the main office today. I was going to call you and see if you wanted to carpool or take the bus, but I forgot. I was hoping I'd see you, though."

Nicole smiled in response. She wrapped the headphones around her phone and placed it in the pocket of one of her bags. 

"So, what are you doing tonight?" Patrick asked.

"Josh is coming by. I don't know, dinner or something." Nicole answered. "Why?"

"Or something?" He smiled, raising an eyebrow. 

Nicole smiled. "I'm hoping for a lot of or something," she winked at him. 

Patrick rolled his eyes, then shifted to sit up straight and continued excitedly, "So, Candy and I are talking about going to Executive Suite tonight. Morgan McMichaels has Delta Work, Derek Berry, and Landon Cider performing tonight. You need to come!" 

"Oh shit. Well, I don't know. I mean, Josh and I already made plans."

"Bring him! C'mon you love Derek Berry, and Landon just did that Mariachi performance on Dragula last week, you know he's gonna do it again."

"Tempting. I haven't really seen Josh in a couple of weeks, it will be nice to just, you know, just hang out with him."

"Ooo, girl. This is getting serious." Patrick smiled and leaned into Nicole, pushing his shoulder against her lightly.

"No. I mean, it's the same. We're just, you know, friends."

"You are more than just friends."

"I mean, there are definitely really nice benefits to our friendship," she chuckled. 

"The friends with benefits trajectory looks like this," Patrick explained, moving his left hand horizontally out in front of him. "Y'all's trajectory looks like this," Patrick moved his hand at a clear and steady vertical incline out in front of him. 

"I don't even know what that means." Nicole laughed at him. 

"Like, when you and Dan at the Brit used to hook up, that was friends with benefits. You were friends, and then from time to time you scheduled benefits. Very transactional. You and Josh are getting friendlier and friendlier, and benefitting more and more, and it's all very organic. At a certain point, that's not friends with benefits, that's called a relationship."  

"Noted." Nicole shook her head. 

That was her cue to change the subject, which she did quickly by engaging him in a conversation about his most recent trip to Palm Springs, which turned into a long string of gossip updates on the various regulars they knew from the Brit and the Mineshaft bars. Eventually, Nicole's stop came up first, and she planted a quick kiss on Patrick's cheek, before gathering her things and exiting the bus. 

"Bring Josh to Executive for the drag show tonight. It's a regular Drag Race All Stars evening."

Nicole gave a thumbs up and stepped off the bus. She placed her purse over one shoulder and across her body, placed her backpack on her back, and placed her tote bag of papers to grade over the other shoulder, and began her trek home. She was only a few blocks away when she heard the call of a deep, gravelly voice!

"Miss Nic! Miss Nic!" 

Nicole paused on the corner and turned in the direction of the voice. "Hey, Mr. Parks," she called out, as an older black man stepped out from the bushes down a side street. He had mismatched sneakers and his clothes were stained and very worn. He walked toward her, and then fell into step with her as she continued her path home.  

"Mr. Parks. I haven't seen you in a while. Where have you been?" She asked him. 

"I got caught up. You know, they have some old warrants on me." Mr. Parks answered. 

"Old warrants!" She stifled a laugh. "What old warrants do they have on you?" She asked.

"Miss Nic. You got more bags than Lucy on Broadway. Lemme...lemme help you." He pulled the tote bag from Nicole's shoulder. 

"Thank you." Nicole continued, "What old warrants do they have on you?"

"You know, parking tickets and the like." Mr. Parks answered. 

"Mr. Parks! You don't even have a car." 

"That's why they old!" He huffed. 

"You have dinner tonight, Mr. Parks?" She asked. 

"I'm gonna scrape something together. You think you can spot some dollars?"

"No, but I can buy you some food." Nicole replied. 

"With some rum?" 

Nicole shook her head. "Maybe," she answered with a smirk.

She listened to Mr. Parks ramble on about something. He wasn't always the most coherent. They approached the corner of her building and turned onto her block. It only took a few steps before she recognized the man standing by a motorcycle parked in front of the main entrance of her complex. He was dressed in all black, which seemed to be his standard uniform, and bright red high-top sneakers. His style, while very casual, often had an air of weird. His handsome features otherwise made up for it, and she didn't care what he wore because she mostly wanted to get him out of it. His head was down as one hand scrolled through his phone, while the other balanced his helmet on the seat of his bike. His hair seemed darker. It was long and wild, and hung down hiding his face, but she knew it was him. She felt a rush of excitement roll through her. 

"Josh!" She called out. 

He recognized her voice and looked up, smiling. His smile faded as he noticed the man walking with her, who was clearly homeless, and in his opinion slightly frightening as his arms were moving wildly while he spoke. Instinctual, JC charged in her direction. "Are you okay?" he called out to her. "Hey! Leave her alone!" He yelled at Mr. Parks. 

"No, no. It's okay." Nicole reached out, stopping JC's momentum toward them. "This is Mr. Parks."

JC stopped and looked at her, open-mouthed.

"He's walking me home from the bus," she explained.

"He's walking you home from the what? What happened to your car?"

Nicole laughed loudly. The look of complete horror on JC's face was hysterical. "He's walking me home from the bus. I took the bus to work today. He's helping me carry my things."

Mr. Parks held up the bag, pushing it toward him, then smiled when JC took a terrified step back. "Miss Nic, who's this?"

"This is my friend, Josh." 

"Friend? Friend? Ain't you married?" 

"No Mr. Parks." 

"Well, I should have snatched you up when I had the chance," he announced with pride. "You better treat her right, boy," Mr. Parks snapped, shaking a finger at JC. 

"I'm trying." JC mumbled awkwardly. 

"We're gonna get him some things at this mini-mart around the corner here." Nicole explained and continued walking. JC fell in step with them. He bent down and whispered in her ear. "I can give him some cash if that's easier."

"No! We never give Mr. Parks cash," She whispered back.

They turned the corner and arrived at the mini mart. Mr. Parks knew the drill. He waited outside while Nicole entered. Uncomfortable staying outside with Mr. Parks, JC entered the store with her and watched as she picked out a box of granola bars, some sticks of beef jerky, two large bottles of water, and some hand sanitizer. She paid at the counter and, with her items bagged, she walked back outside. She traded the bag of snacks for her tote bag of papers. Mr. Parks peered inside, reviewing its contents. 

"What about the Rum?" He grumbled. 

"No liquor at this store. Next time, Mr. Parks," she explained, squeezing his shoulder gently. 

"Next time! Next time!" he grumbled back. "Miss Nic, thank you. You stay out of trouble now, you hear me."

She smiled, "You do the same, Mr. Parks." She placed the tote bag back on her shoulder and led JC to the side entrance of her building. She unlocked the security door and allowed him to enter first. She led him to the elevator, and she pushed the button for her floor. 

Nicole looked at him and smiled. "I didn't think you'd be here this early." She took a step closer to him and leaned in, in an attempt to kiss him.  

JC backed away slightly and laughed a little. 

"What?" Nicole asked confused. 

"I'm probably a judgy asshole, but I think, maybe, I want you to wash your hands before I let you touch me." He laughed and added, "And believe me, I want you to touch me a lot."

Nicole shook her head with a wry smirk. 

"That guy is really your friend?" He asked her.

"Definitely judgy. The jury is still out on asshole." She rolled her eyes. "Mr. Parks is everyone's friend. He spends most of his time by Matt's house."

"You think you know a person," JC smiled, shaking his head. 

"What?" Nicole asked, confused. 

The elevator doors slid open and Nicole led him toward her apartment. 

"It's not often people surprise me, but you're full of them," JC explained as they arrived at her door. 

Nicole opened the door to her apartment, entered and dropped her bags down on the floor in the living room at the base of the kitchen bar countertop. She turned quickly, hands raised up, eyeing JC. "I'm thinking I want to touch you a bunch too, so I'm just gonna wash these." She wiggled her fingers at him, as she entered the kitchen and began washing her hands. 

JC walked up behind her slowly and slid his arms around her waist. He nuzzled at her neck. His scent was intoxicating. His warmth and the fire of his touch caused her heart to hammer in her chest. She leaned her head to the side, and he kissed her neck and nipped at her ear. "Well, I've been dying to touch you for a couple of weeks now." He growled into her ear.

She turned the water off, and reached for the towel to dry her hands, "You have?"

"Also," he spun her around to face him. His face grew stern and serious. "I'm sorry about the Zaire thing." He placed his hands on either side of her face. "That was messed up. And I hope we're good."

"We're fine." She whispered, closing her eyes, and puckering her lips. 

JC complied and bent down, placing a hard peck on her lips before pushing away from her. "So, what's on the agenda for this evening?" He asked, rubbing his hands together. He exited the kitchen and entered the living room, plopping down onto the couch.

Nicole finished drying her hands, then tossed the towel on the counter. She watched him from the kitchen in the living room. He propped his feet up on the coffee table, making himself utterly at home. She warmed at the thought of how easily he seemed to fit into her life, and as quickly as it warmed her, it became quite unsettling. Did she want him to actually fit into her life? She didn't know anymore. Maybe Patrick was right. What she thought they were and what they actually were, might be two vastly different things. JC tilted his head back, looking at her from his place on the couch, with a questioning smile. 

"I didn't have plans, but Patrick and Candace asked us to go to a drag show." Nicole explained, joining him in the living room. 

JC turned his head to look at her again, from her new position next to the couch. "I feel like you really are just a gay man trapped in a woman's body." He laughed and reached his arm out. He took Nicole by the wrist, pulling her down next to him on the couch.  "A very gorgeous woman's body, might I add." He wrapped his arm around her and kissed her neck again. 

Nicole wiggled away from him slightly. "Drag shows are fun! You don't have to be a gay man to enjoy!" She jokingly whined at him. "And this one is big, I mean, they were all on Ru Paul's Drag Race. I mean, Derek Berry is drag Britney Spears, who could ask for more than that?"

"Well, I know the real Britney Spears, so maybe the draw isn't the same," JC laughed. "I wouldn't have pegged you for a Britney fan." He added, sliding his hand back around her shoulders and down the front of her, sliding his fingers over her breast, searching for her nipple, then pinching lightly through the fabric of her clothes.

"Who doesn't like Britney Spears?"

"I ask myself that same question every day?" JC laughed. "But I mean, you just don't seem the type! I thought you were a punk rock chick with the friends in the punk rock band." He explained sarcastically. 

"Their band used to do a Britney song," she quipped. "They used to do a version of ‘Lucky,' and it was their biggest hit. And by hit, I mean, their 10 fans loved it." Nicole laughed. 

"What was that like?" JC asked, sitting up, actually surprised. 

"You know..." Nicole pantomimed playing a guitar while imitating the sound. In between fake guitar riffs, she scream-sang, "She's so lucky." More guitar noises. "She's a star." 

"So up-tempo, and... yelling?" 

Nicole stood up and went to one of the bookshelves. She pulled out a ratty notebook and thumbed through it. When she found the page she was looking for, she tossed it to JC. "See!" she smiled. "I imagine this music scribble makes sense to you."

JC looked at the page. Guitar tabs were drawn across the top margin, and then the words to "Lucky" were sloppily scrawled along the lined paper. Guitar chords and notes documented above the various lyrics. 

"What is this?" He asked, turning it around to inspect the front cover. 

"One of Jay's notebooks," Nicole explained, sitting down next to him again. 

JC leaned forward, resting his elbows on his lap, and looked through the pages of the notebook. The paper was yellowing at the corners, and some of the pages were no longer attached to the binding. He turned the pages gently, reading over the notes and music.  He turned his head and eyed Nicole curiously. She was seated back, sinking deeply into the couch, watching him. Why was she showing this to him? He couldn't help but wonder.  It seemed awfully personal. Did he need to measure his reaction? Or was he just reading it to it?  He continued to flip through it. He looked over one more song before closing the notebook and placing it on the coffee table.

He rested back into the couch, and sunk back low, so that he could be level with Nicole. "So, Drag Britney Spears, then, huh?" He asked her with a smile.

"Unless you have a better idea." Nicole answered, raising an eyebrow. 

JC smirked devilishly, slowly moving in closer to Nicole. He reached his hand up to her face. He brushed the back of his knuckles on her cheek and then slid his hand around the back of her head, winding his fingers in her hair.  "Oh, I have a few ideas," He whispered before kissing her. 

He kissed her deeply, parting her lips with his tongue. She scooted forward on the couch, still kissing him, then adjusted, straddling his lap. She wrapped her arms around his neck, and JC's hands moved to her hips. Reluctantly, she pulled away, sitting back on his lap, looking down at him. 

"Does your idea include more of this?" She smiled; her forehead pressed against his. 

He ran his hands under her shirt and then up and down her back a few times, before resting at her back side. He squeezed gently. "Among other things." He tilted his chin up and kissed her lips again.

* * *

The alarm caused Nicole to awake with a start, but she struggled to move to silence the incessant beeping. JC had her pinned down, arm across her body, head resting on her shoulder. She shimmied out from under him, rolled to her side, and pressed the button on the top of the clock. JC's eyes fluttered open and watched Nicole's form move in the darkness. He eyed the time on the clock, 5:00 am, and pulled Nicole back down against him before she could escape the bed. 

He pulled her back to his chest and wrapped both arms around her. His fingertip gliding over her skin sent small currents through her body, and he could feel the goosebumps rise on her flesh as she shuddered under his seductive touch. 

"It's too early for life to happen," he whispered groggily into her ear. 

"Josh, I gotta go to work," she tried to escape, but his hold on her was too tight, and let's face it, she wasn't putting up too much of a fight. 

"Stay home today. Stay here with me." He placed a series of kisses on her back between her shoulder blades. He slid one hand down between her legs. "I promise I'll make it worth your while." 

A small moan escaped her lips. She rested back against him and allowed his fingers to continue their progress, but only for a moment. She tried to shift away from him again. "I don't want you to stop, but that means getting a substitute at the last minute, and writing a sub plan, and it's just easier to go into work." She tried to turn once again to escape his grip on her.

He slid one and then two fingers inside of her. He could feel her excitement. "I think it's easier to let me make you feel good." He whispered.   

She could feel his erection growing behind her. She reached a hand back and gripped him firmly, sliding her hand up and down his shaft slowly.  She felt him release a warm breath into her neck. "I have to get up." She breathed reluctantly. 

JC released his grip on her, but before she could move, he had her pinned down, on the bed. He rolled on top of her, his bare chest against hers, his erection pressed between him and her stomach. The weight of him on her body felt unbelievable. She wanted to lay like this all day, but she had to be responsible. Fuck responsibility!

He placed one hand on the side of her face, and pressed his lips to hers, as his other hand guided himself inside of her. She opened her thighs, allowing him access as he pressed into her. Slowly at first and then deeper. She broke the kiss as she gasped in sheer pleasure. JC slid his hand back up her body, cupping a breast and squeezing firmly, as he thrust into her. The hand he rested on her cheek moved to the back of her head, and he grabbed at her hair, kissing her again. He couldn't get enough of her. He wanted to be closer to her, as close as he could be. He increased his rhythm, causing her to moan loudly. 

"Yes, Josh. Please don't stop." She wrapped her arms around him, nails clawing at his back. 

He began to grunt with each stroke as he pushed deeper into her, edging closer to his release. He pressed his forehead to hers and continued to pump inside of her. "You feel so good, Nicole." He gasped, and then kissed her lips again. 

He pulled almost completely out of her and then filled her again. He watched as the color of her skin turned pink. She stared up at him, and then gripped his upper arms tightly as she reached her peak. 

She let out a breathless moan, as her body shook from the pleasure. She closed her eyes tightly and allowed her orgasm to wash over her. 

He wrapped his arms around her, pushing his weight on top of her, and pumped into her again before he reached the point of no return. She wrapped her legs tight around his waist, keeping him buried deep inside of her.

His breathing and movements grew ragged, and he released a moan deep from within.  "Fuck Nicole," he grunted and then hissed, "Yes!" 

He collapsed on top of her, reluctant to move from inside of her, he remained on top of her as he worked to catch his breath. He rested his forehead on the pillow beside her. He turned and whispered in her ear, "Nicole, you're so... perfect."

The butterflies began to flutter in her stomach, and she turned her head to hide the blush on her cheeks. Trying to remain cool and unaffected, she reluctantly pushed at him and replied, "Yeah, and you are going to make me perfectly late." She pressed her hands on his chest, urging him to allow her to get up.

JC smiled down at her. He kissed her again, and then raised up slightly. "You sure you don't want to call that substitute?" He smiled at her. 

"I wish I could." She reached up and rubbed the stubble on his chin with her fingers, "I like this," she smiled. 

He kissed her shoulder and rubbed his stubbly chin over her skin before pulling out of her. He raised himself up. "I like this," he said, looking her up and down before rolling off of her.

Nicole quickly slid out from under him and rolled off of the bed. She worried if she didn't make her move then, she would be beyond late for work. She walked a few steps toward the bathroom and turned back, stealing a glance at his naked body spread out in the center of her bed. His eyes were closed, and she watched his chest rise a fall a few times before continuing her progress toward the bathroom. 

Once inside, she shut the door and turned the water on hot. The steam quickly fogged up the small room. She could smell him on her. She breathed in deeply, reluctant to cleanse herself of him. Clearly, she was getting in too deep. This was not how it was supposed to be, she silently chided herself. She stepped inside the glass shower stall, and the burn of the hot spray helped shock her back to reality. She opened her mouth, allowing the water to spray inside. She swished it around and spit it out. This is not how this was supposed to be, she thought to herself again, as she began to lather her skin with soap.   It was supposed to be casual and fun. This was definitely fun, and anything but casual.

Nicole showered quickly, brushed her teeth, and blow-dried her hair straight and parted it down the middle. She applied little make up, only mascara, before stepping out wrapped in a towel. She expected to see JC still in bed, but the clanging noises from the kitchen explained his absence from the bedroom.  She entered her closet, pulled on a pair of black pants cuffed at the ankle, and a gray shirt, topped with a maroon cardigan. She slid her feet into a pair of black espadrilles and joined JC in the kitchen. He was in a pair of blue boxer briefs, watching the coffee percolator suspiciously as it heated up on the stove. 

"Why don't you have a real coffee maker?" He asked her, shaking his head. 

"I don't know. I just have always had this one." She shrugged. "I saw that fancy one in your kitchen, though."

"Cappuccinos all day every day, honey." He laughed, raising his nose into the air. 

"I can make cappuccinos," she responded matter-of-factly.  

JC looked around the kitchen. He took a step back, leaned against the counter, crossed his arms over his chest, and said, "Yeah? Show me."

Nicole stepped toward him, placing her body mere inches from his own. She lifted slightly onto her toes, pressed her lips together and moved in like she was going to kiss him. He leaned down to meet her lips, but she pulled away, reached around him, and pulled out the drawer to his left. He chuckled softly as she stepped away from him. He watched her riffle through the contents of the draw, pulled out a small silver battery powered coil immersion blender, flipped it on and held the vibrating contraption up to his face. He tried to grab it from her hand, but she pulled it away quickly. She filled a mug with milk, pushed the coiled end of the blender into the mug, and watched as the milk frothed up. When it was to her desired consistency, she pulled the percolator from the stove, filled the mug the rest of the way with hot coffee, and handed it to JC. She then proceeded to fill her travel mug with the rest of the coffee. 

JC sipped his coffee carefully. "This isn't a real cappuccino," he mumbled as he watched Nicole organize her things for work. He leaned forward on the counter and whistled a cat-call at her as she bent down to lift her bag, and sang softly, "Got it bad, got it bad, got it bad. I'm hot for teacher." 

She rolled her eyes but smiled at him. 

"Do you mind if I stay here for a bit after you go?" He asked.  "I'm going to work down the street, but it's way too early to go in. You can totally say no." 

"No, I mean, yeah, make yourself at home. Towels are in the bathroom cabinet, by the way. And, um, just lock the door behind you when you leave," she directed, hoisting her backpack over one shoulder. 

He walked a few steps closer to her, reached out, took her by the hand and pulled her toward him. "I can't stay tonight, but can I see you after work? Maybe get that dinner we didn't have last night?" He placed a soft kiss on her lips.

"I'd like that," she answered. She walked to the opposite end of the kitchen bar counter and rummaged through a dish that sat next to the wall. "Here!" She held up a key ring with a silver key and a small black key fob. "This will get you in and out of the garage, and this is for the door. In case you are done before I get home, you can come back and let yourself in." 

JC eyed the key and fob dangling from her fingers. A pang of guilt reverberated through his insides. Before the spiral could turn, he reached out and took it from her. "See you tonight." he kissed her again quickly, turned and sat in the armchair with his coffee cup. He watched her as she turned, picked up her purse, slung it over the opposite shoulder and walked out the front door.