JC sat in traffic heading south to Long Beach. He was meeting two of his writing partners to record a track that was finally done, and hopefully flesh out another one. He thought the change of scenery would be nice. It seemed almost futile now, but maybe it was an incentive to write something better than the trash he was producing lately. The songwriting publishing deal with Sony hadn't quite fallen through, but the songs he had presented in the first three months of his contract were not picked up. David Archuletta had passed on a song, along with two up-and-coming acts: Felly and King Princess. Sony was hoping for interest, and so was JC. Sony was willing to give him another shot, and he had a month to bring in new tracks. 

He left the meeting with Sony and headed straight to Long Beach. The paranoia and the insecurity was creeping in. Maybe he wasn't cut out for this after all. You only catch lightning in a bottle once, he thought to himself. He decided to be more grateful for the successes he had already experienced. He shook his head as he began to feel the thoughts spiral. "Just be satisfied," he whispered aloud to no one but himself. "You're lucky this is your career," he admonished. That's it, he thought.  Maybe it was the pressure of the publishing contract that stifled his creativity. He liked things his way, and he liked things perfect. Corporate oversight is a drag, he thought. Maybe he couldn't make music because he was trapped. "Relax, JC. It will come," he continued his train of self-talk. He slammed his hand on the steering wheel, "Jesus Christ! You're spiraling, Man!" He said to himself, but louder. "I gotta get out of my head..."

He drove in silence, but needed a distraction. He thought he might call Nicole, since he would be back in her neighborhood, after all. They hadn't talked in almost two weeks, which was a departure because they had exchanged text messages almost daily for the previous two months. He thought for sure he would call her, and almost asked Siri to make the connection when his thoughts were interrupted by the ringing of his phone. Jen, his girlfriend's name, flashed across the media console screen. He pushed the button on his steering wheel to answer. 

"Hi babe." He answered.

"Hey! How was your meeting this morning?"

"Oh, you know, the same old stuff." He didn't want to tell the truth. He had talked himself into feeling good about the situation, and he didn't want to risk talking himself back into disappointment. "Heading to that place in Long Beach to record some stuff."

"Will you be home tonight?"

"Yeah, well maybe. It depends on how the session goes. I could be late or early."

"Well, I think I am going to meet up with some girlfriends. I just wanted to see what your plans were."

"Yeah, do that. Sounds like fun. Who?"

"Meg and Ash are in town."

"Meg still thinking about moving out here?"

"Yeah, I am hoping if I show her a good time, she will!" She laughed. Her laugh was perfect, JC thought. So light and carefree. He was jealous. She continued, "Well if you come back early, meet us okay. I love you."

"Yeah, you too. I will," he responded automatically, and the call disconnected. 

***

Nicole spun around in a black leather office chair. As she spun, pieces of the cushion filling came flying out. She was waiting for Joel to finish looking under the hood of her car. She was pretty sure some filters needed to be changed, and felt confident that the front brakes needed to be replaced. She was hoping Joel could fix it with minimal cost. Her chair was halted mid-spin, as Joel caught the back of it and stopped her. 

"What's the good word, my friend?" She laughed. "I'm heading to Mexico City In a few weeks. I need you to cut me a deal."

"Well," Joel wiped his hands on a towel, "just an oil change and a new oil filter. Air filter might be a nice choice as well. I think I can grind down the brake pads, but I don't know, you will only get a couple of months out of them."

"How much?"

"Just parts. Like 50/60."

"Great, Gimme your keys! I gotta run."

Joel reached into his pocket and handed her his keys. "Where you off to?"

"Home." 

"I'll bring your car in the Morning, is that okay?" 

"Yup. You're the best. I left you a sandwich in the front seat."

"Domenick's?"

"Yes, sir," she smiled, turned and headed for Joel's truck. She had a date with a book by her pool, and she was eager to get there. Summer vacation was in full swing.

***

JC played and replayed a short melody on the piano. It was haunting him at this point. It was only a few notes, and he could feel the words on the tip of his tongue but just couldn't get them out. Like the rest of his day, this was a waste. He left the studio and entered the control room. He collapsed into a chair next to Alex, a sound engineer he had worked with before. 

"I think I am done," JC sighed, closing his eyes tightly and pinching the bridge of his nose. 

"Not feeling it today."

"This melody is killing me. I can't think of anything else, but it won't completely come out either." He stretched his arm and gripped the arm rests of the chair. He turned his torso to the left and to the right, cracking his back. "You can go man, I think I might mess around with some stuff before I take off, but I'm not laying anything down today."

"You sure?" Alex asked. 

"Yeah. Thanks for coming out."

"My pleasure, C. Call me, okay?"

"Yeah," JC stood to shake Alex's hand. He sat back down and looked at his watch. It was 3:30, he had only been working for a couple of hours. He knew this trip was futile. He flipped some switches on the mixing board, and then opened up a file on the computer. The sound of the piano filled the room. It was the few bars he had been playing on the piano on a loop. Each time it cycled through, he flipped another switch to adjust the sound, hoping hearing it differently would make things click. He hummed a long trying to form words "Dum dum dum dum, dum dum dum dum, every time dum gets so high gets so high. Dum dum." He stopped the song and shook his head. He was losing it. 

He sat back in the chair and leaned it as far back as it could go, locking his fingers behind his head, and closing his eyes. The spiral started. One fleeting insecure thought after the next. The self-doubt. The self-loathing. The anger. 

JC stood up quickly hoping the physical movement would reel him back in. Ground him in the reality of the moment. That's what the therapist says. Ground yourself in reality so you don't spiral. He needed to focus. He felt good about the song. He felt something, anyway. Go with that reality, he told himself. He walked back into the studio, took his position at the piano, and played the same few bars over and over again. He would figure this out. 

****

Nicole stretched out on a lounge chair by the condo complex pool. It was sunny but not as warm as she hoped, she did not care, she was tanning before her Mexico trip if it was the last thing she did. She was reading a trashy crime novel and drinking a white wine spritzer out of her hydro flask. It definitely felt like vacation. She got to a convenient stopping point in the novel and placed the book on the floor. She flipped from her back to her stomach and closed her eyes. She smiled as she thought about her upcoming trip. She had never been to Mexico City before, and was excited to practice her Spanish. She was meeting up with a friend of a friend while she was there, but otherwise was traveling alone and looking forward to it. 

Her mind eventually wandered to other things and ultimately settled on Josh. His two-week absence from her life was disappointing, but she didn't feel a sense of loss. She was more worried that he was angry with her. Should she have asked him to stay longer? Could she have tried harder to not be so awkward? Could she have not gotten so serious? She had attempted to text him numerous times, but never sent the message. She wasn't sure why or what she was so afraid of.  Nicole sat up suddenly and laughed at herself. "Thought spiral," she announced aloud to the empty pool deck. She reached for her book, reclined back and continued to read. She only read a few sentences before she was interrupted by the dinging of her phone. 

Josh: Hey 

Nicole laughed in spite of herself. As if the universe could read her mind. 

Nicole: Hey stranger.

Josh: You around?

Nicole: Pooling

She watched the dots flash on the screen. But No reply came. 

Nicole: Everything good. Are you mad at me?

She hit send and her phone rang in her hands. Startled, Josh's name flashed on the screen. She swiped to answer it. 

"Hello?" She asked into the phone. 

"Hi! It's J-, Josh."

"Oh it is?!" Nicole laughed slightly. 

"I hope this isn't a bad time."

"No. What's up? How have you been?"

"I'm outside."

"You're what?" She asked, surprised. 

"I'm outside your building. That's creepy, isn't it? I was working down the street, and I needed a distraction. So, I went for a walk, and just figured I'd call you. I mean, I know it's been a minute."

"Oh. Yeah. Okay, I'm at the pool. You're like here right now? 

"Yeah. But, you're busy. I can come back. Or I'll go. I'm gonna go." He felt like a prized horse's ass. What was he thinking, being so creepy? Why did he even expect her to be home?

"Oh no. I'll come let you in."

"Actually, one of your neighbors is letting me in right now."  

"Okay, yeah, come to the apartment. I'll run up."

Nicole grabbed her towel, book, and hydro flask, slid her feet into sandals and went charging up the stairs to her floor. She was trying to recall the state of cleanliness in her apartment, and was hoping she could do a once over before he made it in. There was no sign of him yet, so she raced in, relieved to see nothing too out of place. A pile of laundry in a basket, and some shoes scattered about. Unsure what to do, she busied herself in the kitchen rinsing some dishes. 

JC approached her door slowly. He saw that it was open, but didn't feel completely comfortable walking in. He called out and knocked on the door frame. She called him in. He could hear the water running in the sink, so as he entered the apartment he turned to face the kitchen entrance, where he found Nicole stationed at the sink wearing mostly nothing. She turned to say hello, but JC didn't respond. He was not expecting her to be in only an army green bikini. He didn't mind it. He couldn't help himself from allowing his eyes to gaze down her small frame, and back up to rest on her surprisingly full breasts. When Nicole realized why he was staring, she covered herself quickly by holding the towel that was flung over her shoulder across her body. She blushed slightly.

"Hi. Um nice outfit!" Noticing her discomfort, he decided to be funny. "Expecting someone?" He laughed a little. 

Slightly embarrassed, and attempting to reclaim power. She dropped the towel and turned so he could see the front of her. Two can play this game, she thought. "Only you. You like it?" She took a few steps closer to him. 

"I don't know. Take it off; let me get a closer look," He quipped.

"You're an asshole!" She stormed past him and into her bedroom.

"You can't play games with me, honey. I will always win." He called over his shoulder. 

Nicole returned with a gray maxi dress that clung to her figure thrown over her bathing suit, and finished her work on the dishes. 

"Why'd you change?" he laughed at her. 

"Why are you here?" She snapped back. 

"Okay, okay. Sorry. I just, you know, wasn't expecting you to be, you know, looking like that."

"I was at the pool. And answer my question. Why are you here?"

"I was working at that studio down the street."

"No, I mean at my house? I haven't heard from you in weeks!"

"Phone works both ways, you know, Nicole."

"Touché."

"I wanted to text you, but I thought maybe you were mad at me." JC confessed. "I kinda over-stepped."

Nicole dried the cup in her hands and eyed him cautiously. 

"You know, projecting my shit on you," he continued. 

Nicole didn't respond. The silence felt awkward, so she thought her best bet was to change the subject. "So, you were recording here today?"

"No. Not really." He noted Nicole's confused look and continued. "I mean, I didn't record anything. Just messed around. Sony will probably fire me soon. I don't blame them. I haven't finished a song in almost two months." 

"So, why are you at the studio here?"

JC shrugged. He didn't know why he was in Long Beach. It didn't matter what studio he was at, nothing productive was happening at any studio. "I have a nice car. I wanted to drive it more than a few miles to work?" He forced a laugh. Nicole remained silent and eyed him questioningly.  "I don't know. Something different. Inspiration? Turns out I'm the common denominator. I can't write shit no matter where I am." JC smiled awkwardly and leaned back against the kitchen counter across from Nicole. "So.. yeah. That's why I'm here. I was over it, and I figured school was out for you... and... You got anything for me, or are you just going to stare in silence while I babble on."

"I'm not sure this situation is in my wheelhouse." Nicole finally broke her silence. 

"What?"

"I mean I know how to handle break-ups, I can even manage processing a lay-off or a shitty boss, and I totally get friend drama. Oh, and I'm really great with teenagers navigating their relationships with parents. Because, you know, teacher," she pointed both thumbs towards her chest. "But, professional musicians with writer's block, I'm not so familiar with. I mean, I can google it. If, you know, you like, really need someone right now," she smiled and laughed a little. You know what? Hang on," she raised her finger to indicate she would be right with him.  She turned and shouted through the cut-out in the wall into the living room, "Alexa, how do you help a musician with writer's block."

"Writer's block is a condition, primarily associated with writing, in which an author loses the ability to produce new work or experiences a creative slowdown. There is a popular song by the musician Jack Jack, called writer's block. Would you like me to play it?

"Yes!" Nicole shouted back. 

"Alexa Stop!" JC interrupted. He picked up the dish rag on the counter and tossed it lightly toward her face.  "I'm pouring my heart out here. C'mon."

Nicole laughed loudly. "I'm s-sorry" she managed to get out between chuckles. "I'm sorry. I couldn't help it. I really want to help you." She composed herself and took a step closer to him. "C'mon, don't pretend like you don't want to laugh. I can see it. Your face is trying to hold it back. C'mon I'm funny." She watched as JC fought back a smile. "You came here for a distraction. I'm distracting you." She reached out both index fingers and pressed them to the corners of his mouth. "Smile, you know you want to," She pushed the corners of his mouth upward, and he swatted her hands away with a grunt. "You're so goddamn serious! Do you ever let yourself have any fun? I mean, that's what music is, right? Letting go. Having fun.  Have some. Maybe you can write something. Get out of your goddamn head."

"I'm not in my head." He defended. "Don't give me side-eye. I'm not... okay, maybe I'm a little in my head." He laughed slightly. 

"Okay. So, let's have some fun! You gotta get out. Live!"

"Okay."

"Okay. Fun!" She clapped her hands slightly. "Let's do it." She walked into the living room, rummaged through her purse, satisfied that everything she needed was there, and headed toward the door. She stopped only when she realized JC wasn't following.  

"Aren't you going to change?" He asked her. 

"Nope!" she turned sharply and headed out the door. This time he followed. 

"Where are we going?" He scampered after her down the hallway of apartment doors. 

"No fucking clue!" She responded over her shoulder. She heard his footsteps stop, and  turned around, "What?"

"Where are we going?"

"I don't know. Jesus Christ, Josh. That's why it's fun!" She retreated back to him, grabbed him by the shirt sleeve, and led him out of the main entrance to the building.