"Is he sleeping?"

Joey watched as Justin took a seat at the end of the couch opposite Lance. He nodded at Chris's question and said, "Yeah. Finally wore himself out."

From the moment Justin and JC had returned from the morgue, the three of them had been able to tell immediately that it hadn't gone well. Not that something like that could really go good, but it had been clear that JC hadn't handled identifying Beth's body well at all. They'd all wanted to know what had happened but all Justin said was that he needed some help getting JC settled, which Chris had immediately jump to do. Then once JC was settled back in his bedroom, Justin had shooed them all out, saying that he had it covered now.

"How bad was it?" Lance asked. "Really."

Justin sighed, raising his eyes so he could look at each of them. "Bad."

That single word told Joey all he needed to know, and he had no reason to press any further or demand more details. But not Chris. He leaned forward where he was sitting in the old armchair that was near the couch, frowning at Justin.

"Did he freak when he saw her?"

"I wouldn't say he freaked out," Justin started. "But yeah, he eventually lost it. Not that you could really blame him though considering the condition she was in."

Justin looked a little green as he said that, and Joey knew he was picturing Beth's dead body. He didn't envy him at all, and even more he was wishing one of them had gone with JC instead to spare him from that. And he could tell by the look on Chris's face that he was thinking something similar. There was nothing they could do about it now though.

"What did she look like?" Chris asked.

Justin swallowed, seeming to lose even more color in his face. He seemed to be trying to work himself up to speak, but Joey quickly stepped in. "We don't need to know that," he said, giving Chris a look that told him to back off.

Chris sighed. "I just thought if we knew it would help us get him through what he saw."

"Nothing is going to help that, or erase it from his mind," Joey said. "He was in love with her and she was murdered. And to make it even worse, he had to identify her body that was found days after it'd happened. He probably won't ever forget that."

Lance nodded. "Joey's right. All we can do is try to make things as easy on him as possible and help him deal with everything."

"Is he really dealing though?" Chris asked. "Or is he just dealing with the emotions that spill over when things start to become too much to handle?"

"I think he's actually allowing himself to grieve now," Justin said.

"And how do you know?"

Justin narrowed his eyes at Chris, like he didn't appreciate him insinuating that he didn't really know what JC was going through. "Because I know him. Up until now he was trying to put on a brave face, but now..."

"What?" Joey asked.

"He's scared," Justin said, looking down and shaking his head sadly. "He's afraid of what's happening to Alice, that he can't protect her, that he can't do any of this." He raised his eyes to look Chris in the eyes. "That's how I know. He doesn't give into those kinds of feelings if he's trying to put up a strong front."

Joey nodded, thinking back to other situations over the years that had elicited that kind of reaction from JC. Obviously none of them were on the same scale as this, but he had a tendency to react the same no matter what. Often it led to him freaking out about small things that didn't really deserve such a strong reaction, but that was just who JC was. If he felt like certain things were expected from him, he would force himself to push down his feelings and put up a stoic front. Like he did during the lawsuit.

It'd taken them longer to realize it than it should have then, but they had all been so stressed and trying to deal with everything else that was happening. Now though, it was solely JC that was experiencing a high stress situation. It was hard knowing that none of them could truly relate to what he was going through like they'd been able to with the lawsuit, but they were all determined to help him through this. And now that he was finally allowing himself to properly grieve for Beth, maybe he would finally hand over the reins a little and let them help.

"So what do we do now?" Chris asked.

"Well, I can start making arrangements for a funeral," Lance said.

Joey frowned at him. "Are you sure? Shouldn't that be something JC does?"

"There are a lot of details involved in planning a funeral, and it's the last thing he needs right now." Lance paused. "Besides, we have Beth's will. I'm sure she laid out her wishes in there."

"He's going to be pissed if you do this without talking to him," Justin warned.

But Lance didn't seem at all concerned. "I'm trying to help him. He's not going to want to do all of this on top of the meetings with the lawyer and the cops."

"You still might want to clear this with him."

"Well this isn't something that has to be done right now," Joey said. He looked at them, specifically zeroing on Lance since he was the one offering to make all the arrangements so JC wouldn't have to. "Right?"

Lance hesitated for a moment. "I don't know how long the morgue will hold on to her body. It might be better to just get it over with now anyway."

Justin frowned. "What about Alice? Shouldn't she get to say goodbye?"

"She doesn't need to go to a funeral," Chris said. "She's too young, and it's hard enough for her already without being confronted with her mother's dead body."

Joey could understand why Justin had asked - that it seemed like you would want a moment to say goodbye to a parent. But what Chris said was true - a funeral was no place for a five year old, even if it was her mother's. She had endured a lot already and she didn't need the nightmares it would surely give her.

"Do you think JC's up to it?" Joey asked.

"I think it's better to get it out of the way," Lance said. "That way he can truly deal and focus all of his attention on getting custody of Alice."

"I still say you should talk to him about it before you starting making plans."

Lance looked at Justin. "Okay. I won't do anything until later."

A moment of silence fell over them, each of them silently wondering what they should do now. Joey was the first one to speak, asking, "How long should we let him sleep?"

Sleep was one of the best things for JC given that his body was trying to heal from both his cold and his gunshot wound. But as they realized earlier, sleep wasn't the only thing that was going to make him better; he needed to eat too. So as tempting as it was, they couldn't let him sleep all day again. They would have to wake him at some point so he could work on building up his strength again and to help him work through the things he was surely feeling about what'd happened to Beth. Joey couldn't remember any of them really talking to him about it, and he was concerned what might happen if they left it alone.

"At least for a few hours," Chris said. "We'll wake him for dinner."

Just as he said that, there was a loud scream upstairs. The four of them were immediately on their feet, rushing upstairs as horrible thoughts ran through their minds. Joey didn't know exactly what the others were thinking, but he was willing to bet it was similar to what was going through his mind - that those guys had come back for JC or maybe Gabe came himself this time. A dozen different scenarios flashed before his eyes in warp speed, but as they all ran into the bedroom, they pulled up short as they realized all of their fears had been unfounded.

JC was lying in bed, unharmed besides the shoulder wound he'd already been inflicted with. He was curled into a ball, his body shaking violently as he sobbed and Joey didn't have to come any closer to tell that he was drenched in sweat. Justin and Chris sprung into action immediately, moving to either side of JC and doing their best to soothe him.

Joey looked over at Lance and knew that the concern on his face surely mirrored his own. But then they both joined Chris and Justin on JC's bed, showing their support. It would take all of them to help JC through this, and it was something they were determined not to fail at.

*************

JC was in the middle of yet another nightmare. It was the same one he'd been having, but it didn't get any less scary with the increased frequency. His heart still raced and he still thrashed about in his sleep. And just like always he jerked awake violently.

"Beth!" he cried, his right arm out in front of him as he'd been trying to reach out to her in the dream. His left arm struggled against the sling it was still in.

His flailing hand was caught and held still before being gently lowered to his side. "Take it easy, JC."

JC blinked, forcing away the images of Beth's bloated, rotting body crying out to him for help. Justin was sitting next to him, still holding onto his forearm. This was a scenario that had been played out with each of the guys for hours now. He was pretty sure they had taken up to sitting with him in shifts and it seemed now it was Justin's turn.

JC forced himself to take a deep breath to try to get his breathing under control once more as he glanced around the room. It always took him a minute to get his bearings. He could see the late afternoon sun streaming through the window, and he found he couldn't believe it'd been at least twenty-four hours since he'd gone down to the morgue to identify Beth's body. The nightmares hadn't allowed him to sleep longer than a couple hours at a time since he'd returned, which had made it seem like a lot more time had passed.

"What time is it?" JC asked once he finally felt he had a better grasp on reality, the tendrils of the nightmare no longer squeezing his heart so tightly that he couldn't breathe.

"Nearly three o'clock."

JC had expected him to say five or six and that it was time for dinner. The guys had been insistent that he eat, and with him waking every few hours it was easy enough for them to bug him about it. He hadn't once felt all that hungry, but he'd gone along with it, usually so he could leave his bed and the nightmare behind for at least a little bit. But he would normally end up nearly falling asleep at the table before he could even eat all of his food and they would help him back into bed once more.

But now JC could sense that something else was up. There was something in Justin's voice, something that told him that he wasn't just there to sit with him while he slept. Automatically, he felt a pit in his stomach begin to grow as he feared the worst.

"What's going on?" he asked. Justin hesitated for a second too long, and JC felt his patience instantly disappear as panic rose up in him. "Tell me!"

"Social Services is on their way over."

JC turned his head so fast he felt a sharp pain in the side of his neck. Chris moved closer to the side of the bed, glancing briefly at Justin before looking back at him. The panic JC felt was quickly abating, but confusion took its place.

"What? Why?"

"For the inspection," Chris said.

Justin leaned forward, grabbing hold of JC's hand and squeezing it to get his attention. "We tried to get her to put it off until at least tomorrow morning, but she insisted. She says with these kinds of cases there is usually rush to make sure the child is in a truly safe environment."

"When is she coming?" JC asked.

"She'll be here in an hour," Justin said.

All of JC's earlier panic returned, though this time for a different reason. "But I'm not ready!" he protested. "The house is a mess and..."

"And Joey and Lance are taking care of it," Chris said. "You just worry about getting yourself ready."

JC pulled his hand out of Justin's hold and ran it through his long hair, sighing heavily. He was wishing now he'd gotten his hair cut like he'd originally planned a week ago. The appointment had been scheduled and he'd cancelled it at the last minute, deciding he liked the long hair. Now though all he could think about was that the social worker was going to take one look at him and immediately begin to form an opinion of him, wondering what the hell made him think he could take care of a kid.

But there was nothing he could do about it now. The best he could try to do was dress appropriately and tame his hair as much as he could. Before he could worry about that though, he needed to get in the shower.

"I'll start a bath for you," Justin said, obviously thinking along the same lines as him.

JC shook his head, pushing himself to his feet. "I'm getting a shower."

"JC..."

"I'm getting a shower," JC repeated, interrupting Justin. He gave both him and Chris a pointed look as he added, "Without any help."

JC could tell they were worried, that they likely didn't think he was strong enough or that his shoulder was healed enough for him to get it wet and have it be pelted with water. But he was determined to do this on his own. He couldn't appear weak in front of the social worker, even if he was exhausted and his heart was heavy with grief. He had to show her that he was strong and fully capable of taking care of Alice.

Without another word, JC grabbed some clean clothes out of his closet before disappearing into the bathroom. Once he was in there, the simple task of showering took much more energy and was much more painful than he had anticipated it being. When he was finished, he was panting slightly both from the pain and hot water.

He'd just put on his pants when there was a knock on the door. Sighing, he finished buttoning his jeans as he said, "What?"

"You want me to bandage your shoulder?" Chris asked on the other side of the door. Though JC knew that he wasn't really asking, and knowing Chris he'd just barge in whether JC actually let him in or not.

He couldn't help sighing again as he opened the door and stepped back to allow Chris to enter. Chris gave him a quick once over and shook his head. JC could guess what he was thinking - that he'd lost too much weight and was much too pale. That the shower had taken even more out of him, and he hadn't had much energy to spare in the first place.

"You're going to need a belt," Chris said as he moved around JC, putting down the toilet seat lid and gesturing for him to sit.

JC glanced down at his pants. Okay maybe they sat a little lower on his hips, but that didn't mean he needed a belt, right? He didn't think so, and he told Chris this as he sat down on the toilet.

"It's fine if you're going for that crotch-down-by-your-knees thing," Chris replied, moving back to the sink where the bandages and ointment they'd been using for the gunshot wound were. "It seems to be a big thing with all the rappers now. Though I wouldn't recommend it. I've heard you rap before and you're terrible."

JC knew that Chris was trying to goad him into defending the raps he'd done, saying that he'd been sixteen at the time and goofing off with Tony. But he wasn't going to allow himself to be distracted. There was only one thing on his mind and that was making sure they were ready for the social worker. Or at least as ready as they could be given the next to no notice she'd given them.

"Is everyone ready?" JC asked, watching as Chris opened a new bandage from the sterile packaging and applied some ointment to it.

Chris sighed, seeming disappointed but not surprised that his attempt to distract JC hadn't worked. He turned to JC and carefully pressed the bandage against his shoulder. JC did his best not to squirm, but he couldn't help grimacing at the pain that was inflicted by Chris's touch even though he was obviously being as gentle as he could.

"As ready as we can be I guess," Chris said, taping the bandage in place. "Joey and Lance got most of the rooms picked up and Justin was taking care of yours."

One last piece of tape was added to his shoulder, and JC nodded his thanks to Chris, both for bandaging him up and helping to get his house to be more presentable. He stood up and grabbed his shirts off the counter near the sink, quickly but carefully throwing on his tank top and then his solid blue long sleeved button up shirt.

As he did the last button, he walked out into the bedroom and found that Justin was tossing his pillows back on his bed. It wasn't made as neatly as JC probably would have had it, but it was better than it'd been and he knew he had to be nearly out of time. He went to his closet and pulled out a belt, carefully looping it through his jeans and buckling it while trying to ignore the pain the simple motion caused in his shoulder.

When he finished he looked up and found Chris smirking at him. JC rolled his eyes, while Justin looked on in confusion. He almost felt lighter right then, his muscles around his lips might've pulled up into a small smile if Chris hadn't thrown his arm sling at him. There was no way he was going to wear this, and he knew there would be quite a bit of push back.

"I'm not wearing it," JC said, tossing the sling into his closet.

"JC..." Chris started to protest, but JC cut him off.

"No, Chris. I don't want to wear it and you can't make me."

Chris's eyes narrowed, but before he could say anything, Justin spoke. "Don't you need to keep your shoulder still while it heals?" he asked.

"Yes," Chris said immediately.

"But only for the first few days," JC was quick to add, especially when he saw the way Justin frowned in concern. "Then he said I just have to take it easy. And it's not like I can keep it in the sling forever anyway. I have to use it some or it'll get too stiff."

Chris gave him a look. "Not enough time has passed for that to happen. So why don't you just put it on instead of trying to be a tough guy and making the pain you're already feeling worse."

JC glared at Chris, not appreciating the way he was being ordered around. "I'm not going to look weak in front of her," he snapped.

"Have you looked in the mirror lately?" Chris fired back. "You look like you're about to keel over. The sling would at least give a visual clue that you've been injured."

JC opened his mouth to reply, but Justin quickly cut in before he could. "Okay, let's not fight." He looked over at Chris. "Chris..." he started.

Justin didn't get the chance to finish what he was saying because the doorbell rang, and JC knew their time was up. He didn't even bother looking at Chris or Justin as he turned and walked out of the room, heading for the front door. His heart hammered against his chest, and he forced himself to take a couple of deep breaths before pulling the door open.

On the other side of the door stood a short woman who looked to be in her forties. She was dressed professionally and had an expression on her face that commanded respect. Surely it was something she'd developed over the years to compensate for her height, and JC wasn't ashamed to admit he found her intimidating. Then again, that likely had everything to do with why she was there.

"Mr. Chasez?" she asked. When he nodded, she stuck out her hand and said, "Hello. My name is Patricia Armstrong. I'm with social services."

JC shook her hand. "Hi." He then released her hand and stepped back, opening the door wider and allowing her to step inside.

She did, and he shut the door behind her. As he turned around, he found that the guys had joined him in the foyer and he sighed quietly before introducing the social worker to them. She graciously shook each of their hands, her face friendly enough. But as soon as that was done, she looked at JC and he knew at once that she was ready to get down to business. He wasn't though. Not yet. There was one thing he needed to know first.

"How's Alice?" he asked.

"I'm not supposed to talk about anything I saw at Mr. Hunter's house," she started, her expression firm, but JC quickly cut her off.

"I don't care about any of that. I just need you tell me how she's doing." He looked at her with a pleading expression as he added almost desperately, "Please."

She stared at him for a moment, and JC was sure she was the type of person who did everything by the book. But she must have felt some pity for him because she said, "She's okay."

JC wasn't sure at first if what she was saying was actually true or if she was just saying that to appease him and get him to let it go. But after a moment he decided she was telling the truth. She didn't strike him as the type to lie, especially concerning someone's worry over a child. After all, it wasn't like his worry was unfounded. That was why they were going through all of this - to prove the best place for Alice was with JC and not her father.

"Thank you," he said, feeling just a tiny bit of tension ease from where it'd settled between his shoulders.

She gave him a curt nod before she finally got to what she came for. "I want a tour of the place if that's okay. And then we'll sit down and talk a bit."

"Okay." JC nodded, swallowing nervously as he looked around briefly. He felt completely unprepared for this and he wished he'd had more time. Though, that seemed to be the point - to give social services a true sense of what life would be like in the home. "I guess we can start in the study and make our way upstairs."

"Fine by me," she said.

JC led her around the house, trying not to fidget as she moved around the rooms to get a closer look at certain things. She also asked him numerous questions about things she saw as potential dangers that he hadn't taken care of, like the fireplace in the living room. Would it be shut? Where was the gate to keep curious kids away? He did his best to assure her that he would make sure his house was completely safe for Alice, and that he'd only had a short time to prepare his home as he hadn't expected to watch her in the beginning.

The nervousness only seemed to get worse as he led her upstairs and they entered the guest room that Alice had claimed for herself. It was the first time he'd been in the room in days, certainly since she'd been taken by Gabe's henchmen. She hadn't had a lot of things with her, but the things that were in the room made his heart heavy with grief. Her purple suitcase in the corner of the room. The stuffed dog he'd given her sitting on the made bed.

He leaned heavily against the dresser, feeling breathless but doing his best to act as casual as possible. Her back was turned so it gave him a little bit more time to try to pull himself together. But he wasn't able to keep from worrying the guys, if the looks they kept shooting him was any indication.

Somehow he managed to pull himself together by the time the social worker turned around so he was standing straight, ready to answer any other questions she had. But she seemed satisfied with the tour of the house and suggested that they go sit down so they could talk. JC nodded, leading everyone back downstairs to the kitchen.

As he entered, he glanced over his shoulder at her and asked, "Would you like some tea?"

"That would be very nice," she said.

JC started to cross the kitchen to the stove, but Lance stopped him. "Go ahead and sit. I'll take care of it," he said.

JC glanced briefly at the others, knowing part of the reason they were stepping in was because of how he'd concerned them upstairs. But he wasn't going to fight them about it, especially not with the social worker sitting just feet away. He nodded his thanks to Lance and took a seat at the table across from Patricia as the others also pulled up chairs.

"I just have a few questions," she said.

"Okay." JC fiddled with his hands underneath the table, feeling his nerves kick up a notch and desperately trying not to let it show. "What do you need to know?"

"Prior to this, did you want kids?"

JC looked at her in surprise. What he may or may not have wanted before was irrelevant now. He wouldn't be going through all this if he didn't want Alice. But she clearly didn't agree as she stared at him, waiting for his answer.

He sensed she wouldn't accept a vague answer and would probably be able to tell if he was lying, so he was trying to figure out what would be the best thing to say. And while he was doing that, Justin asked, "What does that matter?"

She looked at Justin with an almost stern expression. "It matters a lot. In scenarios like this, people take in a child and because they never really wanted kids they end up giving the child up. Or else they're not invested in the child's life and wellbeing. Either way, it's not an ideal situation for the child."

"And neither of which will happen," Justin replied, his eyes narrowed like he was offended on JC's behalf. JC appreciated what he was trying to do, but he knew it was up to him to convince her that none of those things would happen.

JC put a hand on Justin's arm, silently telling him to back off. Justin sat back in his chair, and JC leaned forward just slightly, meeting the social worker's expectant gaze. "I haven't been in a serious enough relationship where I considered it, but I think I always figured I'd have kids when I met the right person."

"Would Beth have been that person?" she asked.

JC inhaled. She'd asked the question that'd been on his mind for the last few days. He still wasn't sure what the answer was, and that was the problem with Beth being dead - he would never know.

So he answered honestly as he said, "Maybe." He paused, and that was when Lance placed a cup of tea in front of both him and the social worker. He glanced down at his tea before looking back up at her again. "But what I do know is that I love Alice, and I want to take care of her. Not just because it was what Beth wanted but because I know I can be what she needs."

"And yet you've only seen her a couple times a year," she countered. "How can you possibly know what she needs or take care of her?"

"You're concerned about my career," JC said, able to read between the lines and hear what she wasn't saying.

She nodded. "Yes, but that's not all. I'm not convinced you're prepared to handle taking care of such a young child. How can you be when you obviously don't take care of yourself."

"What?" JC nearly dropped the mug of tea he was holding. "What do you mean?"

She took a sip of her own tea, not seeming at all fazed by his reaction. As she set her mug down, she gestured across the table at him. "It's obvious you haven't been taking care of yourself," she started, but Joey interrupted before she could finish.

"He was shot and-"

"I know about the incident," she replied, cutting him off. She looked back at JC though she was clearly still addressing Joey and the others. "But that doesn't excuse the condition he's in. That happened days ago, but it's clear he hasn't allowed his body the time to heal."

JC looked down at his tea, unable to deal with the intense gaze she had fixed on him. It was one thing for the guys to get on his case about it because they always did, but it was completely different when a stranger called you out on it. He found that he couldn't even bring himself to object. It wasn't as cut and dry as she made it out to be, but what she was saying was true - he'd hardly let himself rest. But how could he when there was so much to do?

He might not have felt like he deserved to defend himself, but the guys clearly had no problem sticking up for him.

"Because he's been trying to do what he can to make sure Alice is safe," Justin replied.

She raised an eyebrow. "At the expense of his own health?"

"That's what he does. He always takes care of everyone else first and himself last," Justin said. "And as infuriating as that normally is, I know it's something that makes him more than capable of being Alice's guardian."

JC raised his head just enough that he could see Justin out of the corner of his eye. He hadn't expected him to defend him so vehemently, and to commend him for something they normally got on his case about. But he couldn't deny it made him feel good to know that they truly supported him in this.

"I'm not trying to discount what he's done," the social worker began. "I wish more parents and guardians were self sacrificing. But it doesn't set a good example for the child."

"What do you mean?" Joey asked.

She began to explain, her gaze permanently fixed on JC. As he looked at her from across the table, he realized she was speaking directly to him now. "Is that what you want her to learn? That it's more important to take care of other people than herself?"

JC recognized immediately what she was getting at. He'd been told before numerous times - usually by the guys - how unhealthy his need to put other people first constantly was. It was hard to change though because it was a natural state for him. But she was completely right; he didn't want Alice to have the same attitude. Caring about other people was great, but he knew he sometimes took it too far to his own detriment. And it wasn't something he wanted for her.

"So you don't think he's cut out to be her guardian because he actually cares more about other people than himself?" Chris demanded.

The social worker shook her head. "I didn't say that. I'm just trying to determine what would be best for the child. I'm just telling you my concerns."

Chris opened his mouth to reply, but JC knew that he'd been silent too long. It was up to him to argue his case, and he doubted she would take his request to be Alice's guardian seriously if he just sat back and let the others fight this battle for him. He wasn't that kind of person either.

"You don't have to be concerned," JC said, looking her in the eye. "I may make mistakes, but I'm human. My career and lifestyle may not be ideal, but I love her and I'll do whatever for her. And that should be all that matters."

When he finished, he could've sworn her lips were upturned in a small smile. It was so brief though that he wasn't entirely sure he hadn't imagined it. Her expression was serious once more and she nodded to him.

"I think I have everything I need," she said, getting to her feet. She looked at him again. "I would spend the next few days getting better if I were you. You'll want to feel your best for court."

"I will," JC vowed.

He started to push his chair back to walk her to the door, but she waved all of them away, saying that she'd let herself out. They all sat there as she walked out of kitchen and then a few seconds later they heard the front door open and close.

Once she was gone, all of the energy that'd seemed to carry him through the visit left him. He slumped in his chair, completely exhausted and now unable to keep himself from thinking about how much of it was self-inflicted. And how he was determined to make sure he looked stronger and healthier for the impending court date. Even though the lawyer hadn't given them the exact date yet, it was surely going to be soon, especially now that the social worker had visited both him and Gabe.

With that in mind, JC raised his head and looked at the guys who seemed to be waiting for some kind of a reaction from him. And he knew they would be surprised that it was a simple question.

"So what's for dinner?"