Miahaus Studios 9:35 PM

I can’t believe her plane got delayed.  It was a private jet!  I guess they are having bad storms in New York or something.  Still, it sucks.  I want my girl here, even though I know I’ll  be pulled in every direction, like I already have.  I should stop fucking whining.  I’m too whipped.  I smirk, ‘cause I really don’t fucking care.  Don’t get me wrong, though.  It has been a blast so far.  I’ve had to mingle and do all the things I’m supposed to do.  I’ve heard they are doing some toast sometime, but most of the night is just for me to enjoy myself.  It’s this weird thing, where it’s my party but I still feel obligated to talk to everyone and be sociable.  And I’ll do a lot better job of enjoying myself when I get to see what sexy little outfit my girl is wearing. I’ve had a couple drinks already so I’m nice and relaxed, and almost every body I know seems to be here: my friends from Tennessee, from here in LA, from the business, my family.  Trace is around here somewhere.  So’s Rachel.

Poor Rachel.  I really shouldn’t give her a hard time.  She did really freakin’ well in New York this past week, and so I laid off of her and tried to be relaxed and pretty chill about everything.  I’m such an asshole.  I really shouldn’t have been so annoying to her to begin with, but I guess part of me wanted to push her to see if she could handle it—ha, handle me.  I know, despite what I want to admit, that I can be an asshole.  Most of the time I do it without meaning to be that way.  I guess I just didn’t want her thinking that when we were out doing promo or on business trips that I was going to be her prankster cousin.

She’s not dumb, and she’s not 13 years old.  She’s not blind to how strict I have to be while on business.  I guess more than anything I was just nervous about not having Trace there.  I trust Rachel, but she is new at this.

I think it’ll be good with her helping me, though.

As horrible as this sounds, with Rachel, with a female, I won’t be able to get away with as much stuff as I did with Trace.  That doesn’t mean that I was always off screwing around.  I just think that it’ll be good for me.  While Rachel and I are friends, we’re cousins first.  Trace would keep me in line and keep me exactly where I needed to be, but sometimes he would get in as much trouble as I would.  Rachel keeps me in line but doesn’t let me go out of it either.  It’s not like she’s over here nagging me like my mom, but she kind of takes care of me in that same way.  Whereas Trace would have gotten drunk with me on the plane to New York, she sat there and watched a movie with me as we sipped coffee.

I’m kind of getting past all that getting drunk and partying just because I can bull shit.  I got more important things going on in my life now. 

And I think through the phone calls, more than anything, Meredith and her are becoming great friends.  They hung out a couple times before Mere went back home and every time I’d walk into the room they’d giggle like they were always up to something.   Sometimes when Mere calls me, Rachel will get on the phone and they’ll talk and Rachel will eye me funny and then burst out laughing.  I’m pretty sure though, almost all of their discussions have to do with making fun of me in some way.

Everything is really great between Mere and I.  At first I thought this whole bull shit with Angie was going to tear her apart.  I have so much faith in my girl, but I remember her last spring, I remember her having someone she trusted rip her heart out, and I was afraid of what was going to happen this time.  But she held her own, she stayed strong.  She was pretty upset, ya know? Understandably, of course.  I mean, that night when Trace and Courtney called and we found out, she cried quite a bit, and then on the plane ride home she got a little panicky about what was going to happen when we got close to landing.

It was this weird thing, too.  When we landed Courtney was there, and I suddenly realized how much of a fool I really had been.  I mean it had hit me, ya know?  I was pissed off at her at the end of tour and I had a right to be—she disappeared on my girl, on Trace, she acted ridiculous.  But I didn’t have a right to accuse her of all that other stuff.  I knew that.  I knew I was wrong when she called and told us about Angie, but when I saw her and my girl together and saw how much faith Mere put into her, how happy she was that Courtney was there to help solve this problem; and then I saw Trace watching her and looking at her and saw how much faith he had in Courtney and how he really did love her, that’s when I realized it all.

And that’s when I really started to feel like a fool. 

I always, always end up feeling like a fool. It’s happened before and lord knows it’ll happen again.  But this was a big deal, ‘cause there was little excuse for my actions.  It was hard for me to figure out what to do after that.  I mean, I like to think that despite all my faults I’m a pretty decent guy.  But I hadn’t been decent this summer and my momma would not have been proud of me.  She would understand it if I explained it to her, but she wouldn’t be proud.  So I didn’t know how to act.

It took time, and I’m just glad that Courtney nor Trace has really come up to me and had to have this heart to heart about how wrong I was and how I should beg them for forgiveness.  Trace isn’t like that—he just gets me; and I think Courtney has realized that talking about all the bull shit that happened is just going to make this shit worse and more awkward.

It’s water under the bridge. 

And thankfully this bridge is pretty damn big.

It’s been weird, too, being back in the real world. Vacation with Mere was as real as it got, but it was a fantasy also, and being back here—being back in LA and New York—promoting and working and being in this fog of places and interviews and photo shoots and all that crap has just been a struggle to get use to.  I’m a pro at this shit. I’ve done this for so long I could do it in my sleep. Hell, I probably do it in my sleep. 

But I’ve missed my girl.  I mean, I see her every now and then, and I talk to her everyday; but it’s not like it was when we were together every moment.  Even when I was annoying her and she was annoying me those last couple days on vacation, I could tell she still loved me and enjoyed being with me. 

It’s shit like that that proves this is different for me.  It gives me even more proof than that stone I gave her.

I was pissed off when I found out that I missed her in New York by mere hours.  When I landed back here in LA two days ago I had a text from Mere saying, “Just got into the city, call me.” I called her back confused because I thought that she was getting into the city the next night.  If I had known I would have pushed my stuff back and flown out with her this afternoon.  That way we would at least get to spend a night or two together in New York.  But I guess that would be impossible, ‘cause I’d be way late to my own release party.  Whatever…

“Hey man…” I look up and focus on the people in front of me instead of looking down at the melting ice in my Jack and Coke. Trace is there with Courtney who’s smiling and holding onto his arm.

Seeing them makes me think for a moment that they are going to tell me they saw Mere.  I don’t know why I think that, but I perk up anyway and say, “Hey, she here?”

“No, not that I know of.”

I guess I seem like a fucking loser at my own party.  I mean, I’ve been talking to people and making the rounds, but for the past minute I’ve completely been a wallflower, leaning against the wall, thinking about my girl and how much I wish she were here already to share this with me.

“He’s been too busy checking out some of the celebrity asses.” Courtney laughs and glares at him in a playful mood. 

“I have not.”

Ever since I got back a couple days ago they’ve been kind of all over each other.  I mean, it’s not like they make out all the time, but they hold hands and he’ll kiss her in front of me.

I guess they are back together and I guess neither of them is ashamed or weird about that.  I’m happy for Trace.  I know that sounds pathetic after all that’s gone on, but seriously.  Maybe starting over with her was a good idea, maybe they needed that break.  I like to think that all of their issues weren’t solely to deal with me, even though I know a lot of them were.  I guess it’s just a lame attempt to make me feel better about the whole situation.

 “Keep him in line Courtney,” I say to her, scanning the crowd behind both of them when I see a short brunette walk by.  It’s not her.

“He’s not doing a good job of keeping either of us in line,” she says, laughing, leaning on him a little bit.

“We did shots.”  He shrugs.

“Clearly.” I laugh and nod, keeping my eyes out over the crowd.

“Ben and Travis might come over tomorrow to discuss some shit.”

“I should be around.”  I look at Trace and smile a little bit, “Later though, right?”

“Yeah, later afternoon.”  He laughs and rolls his eyes.  “Don’t worry.  You’ll get to have time with your girl.  It’ll only be an hour or so.  They’ll have samples so she can come and hanging out if she wants to.”

That might be fun.  And I’m sure Mere would love the attention of playing fashion model for Trace’s jeans.

My jeans, too now.  I gotta get use to that.

I think it’ll be fun, ya know?  I feel like I got a pretty good fashion sense, and this shit Trace is working on is pretty fucking cool.  I’m excited to be apart of it, to put my name on something that I really think is gonna be a cool endeavor.  It’s like a new path for me and him to take, a new adventure different from anything else we’ve done together.  I think that’s good for us, I think that’s what we need, something other than the same old shit we’ve done together for the past, hell, almost eight years. 

Shit, I’m getting old.

“Someone’s calling for you,” Courtney says, looking at Trace and nodding over to the left.  We both turn to look in that direction and see Marty and Jacob waving at us to come over to where they are sitting at a wide table by the bar.  I think I’m just gonna hang out here for a second, or maybe go into the front room and see if Mere’s here before I find myself a station for the night beside my friends. 

“Hey.” Trace reads my mind and says to me, “When Mere gets here come find us, ok?”  I nod and he nudges me because I’m not really paying attention to him.  “Celebrate good times, come on!”

He’s been drinking tequila.  He only gets weird and ridiculous like this when he drinks straight tequila. “You’re weird, Ayala.”

“Learned it from you, dearest.”  He smiles smugly and pulls Courtney along with him to the table.

“Did he just call you ‘dearest’?”

I turn and see Megan standing there with a weird look on her face and a hand on her hip.  I can’t help myself and I reach out, hug her and breathe out, “Thank god.”

“Calm down,” she laughs, pats my shoulder and pushes me away.  “She had to potty and there was a line, and she started talking to someone, too.  So you got me for now.”

“She alright?” I ask.

“She’s Mere,” Megan laughs and shrugs. “Oh, but I’m fine thanks, despite the fact that Josh and I got in a fight.”

I laugh and apologize for not really paying attention to her or acting like I care she’s here, even though I know she’s just playing around with me. “I’m sorry girl.  I’m just kind of out of it.  Why’s he being a dick?”

She rolls her eyes and huffs, “Because we discussed my job prospects and he doesn’t want me to move.”

By ‘job prospects’ she means stay where she’s at or go help Mere.  I think she’s going to do the latter, and from what Mere says the past week with Megan in New York was awesome.  Megan has no experience, but I got this feeling that she’ll be great at it.  She’s so to the point and if she needs something to happen, she’ll make it happen.  Plus, I know my girl will love it to have her best bud with her.  I just hope the two goof balls will keep themselves in line.  Maybe Megan and Rachel should talk, or maybe they should both sit down with Trace for some pointers.  Shit, I don’t know what I’m so worried about.  I should really just let it go.

“He does realize that you will probably be in New York like half of the time?”  I say.

She rolls her eyes and waves her hand about, but I can tell by the look in her face that she really does care, and this ‘whatever’ attitude she’s showing right now is just so I won’t pry too much.

“He’s stupid.”

I nudge her with my elbow to try and get her smile. I ask her what she’d like to drink but she says she’s fine right now.  She’s looking out over the crowd, probably looking for Mere like I have been.  I place my small glass on a table small empty table by my right side that’s cluttered with other discarded glasses. “I wouldn’t worry about it, girl. From what Mere tells me I’m sure he’ll come around.  He worships you.”

“As he should,” she laughs, but I don’t know if I even really hear it.

I see her. 

She’s rolling her eyes as she walks up to me and she’s wearing this gorgeous, low cut black dress with this shiny stuff on it.  It’s short, too and her legs, despite how short she is, look as long and fucking incredible as ever.  When she gets in front of me I just look at her, unable to stop staring at her.  Her eyes are bright and her lips are so fucking full and delicious looking. Her breasts are secure in her top, but round and teasing just slightly, and her hair’s pulled back and her neck is bare and slender.

And I just stare at her and listen to her voice as she rambles out, standing right beside me but not even touching me, yet.

Her eyes widen in animation and her mouth moves in such a way that I’m immediately turned on, and I just listen…

“Oh my god, I’m sorry it took forever.  I mean first with the damn plane and then traffic!  I mean you would have thought the Beatles reunited or came back from he dead or whatever.  And then I get here and we couldn’t find anywhere to park, and the valets were being stupid.  I’m like, hello guest of honor’s girl right here.  Anyway, so I come in and I had to pee and I got in line and then I saw Jenny and she would not…shut…up! Like I was in the freaking bathroom, which, two stalls? For girls? That’s it!?”  She puts her sequined purse that she had been waving around, under one arm and rolls her eyes.  “Oh my god, and she’s talking to me while I pee. I’m like…weird.  But I guess it would have been weirder if she just sat there and listened to me tinkle!” 

She rolls her eyes dramatically and without even taking a breath, keeps talking, and I keep staring at her eyes and her mouth and every little part of her. 

“Thankfully, when I got out Tim stole me away from Jenny, but then he wouldn’t shut up.  But I could tell that he was tipsy already, so I just had to tell him I hadn’t seen you yet and he pushed me in this direction.  But like, god Justin,” she says looking around the room we’re in.  “Invite all of California out for your damned release!! Oh! And I saw your momma in the distance.”  She laughs.  “Well, I really just saw her hair.”

I smile at her as she takes a breath, bites her lip and is silent as she realizes she just spent the last minute uncontrollably rambling.  It’s cute in a way that she’s so excited to see me and tell me every detail that she gets carried away with it.

And I’m carried away with her.  I grab her arm and pull her towards me. “Come ‘ere…”

She sort of falls into me, her arms around my middle, mine around her shoulders, and she kisses me, smiling blissfully before her lips touch mine.  But the kiss is only for a moment, and she pulls back to look at me and only me, holding on to me with one hand because of the damned purse in her other hand.  She can’t stop smiling, and she looks—she just…

She’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. Everything about her fucking sparkles.

“I’m going to mingle,” I hear and I look over at Megan to see that she’s giving us a weird look, as if to say “ok y’all apparently need to be alone.”  I don’t know how long we’ve been staring at each other and smiling all goofy, but I’m suddenly thrown back into reality: that I’m with her, but I’m not alone. 

I nod over towards the bar and smile at Megan, who now looks like she really does need a drink.

“I think Courtney and Trace are over by the bar at a table or something.”

“Gotcha.” She walks away by patting Mere on the head and Mere just sticks her tongue out at her.

Once Megan is gone I feel my girl’s lips on my neck and her nose rubs into my skin there near my jaw.  I try not to pay attention to the crowd, but some people are staring.  They’ve pulled back to give us space, but they’re paying attention.  “You smell good,” she purrs at me.

“And you look good.”  I pull back a little, but keep my hands on her arms. I smirk, looking at her up and down, seeing how low her top really is and how short her dress really is and how high her heels really are. I can see this all now that she’s closer.  She looks sexy as hell, classy, but damn sexy.  And I want it.

“Damn girl. Is this all for me?” I say, teasing her.

“Mmmhmm,” She leans in to kiss me again, and I just laugh as she widens her eyes. “There’re surprises, too!”

I pull back a little, “Surprises?”

“Underneath,” she whispers and then bites her lip to hold in her giggles.

I pretend to look up over her and say in a loud voice, “Party’s over.”  No one cares, a couple people look at me and smile and laugh but no one really pays attention.

“Shut up…”  Mere laughs and swats at my chest.  I look down at her and pull her back so we’re leaning against the wall a little bit. She’s leaning close to me, looking up at me with this worried expression.  “You look tired, you ok?”

I roll my head to hers and say, “Running on empty.”

“Nothing for two and half days, right?” she asks me, making sure I haven’t planned anything big over the next two days we get to be together.

I smirk and lean in and pinch her side, saying softly, “Nothing but your naked booty.”

“You’re a nerd.”  

“You love me, though.” I pull her so she’s leaning against my front, my back against the wall and I kiss her again, this time deep, and when I pull back I smile and say, “God girl, you even taste delicious.”

I don’t care anymore who’s watching us.

“Sandra gave this lip gloss to me,” she says, bringing up her hand to wipe at my lips.  I guess I got some on me.  I kiss at her fingers as she does it and she gives me a stern look before continuing, “She said guys love it.  It’s some berry mix or something.”

“You want a drink?” I ask out of the blue.  But I’m starting to feel the alcohol hit me a bit now that she’s here.  Maybe I’m just buzzed off her.  Either way, I need to move away from his wall before my hands start roaming a little bit too far.  And if I’m tipsy, I want her to be as well.

“Ooo, champagne or girly drinks tonight?” she asks me.  She always has a hard time picking out what type of drink she wants, so she’ll ask me.  We’ve learned that she can’t mix her champagne or wine and liquors so she has to decide at first what kind of alcohol she’s going to drink that night before she gets started.

“Whatever you want tonight.”

She smiles. “Champagne. We’re celebrating.”  I grab her hand and walk with her through a crowd of people, trying not to get too caught up in people saying hello to me or her but smiling and nodding along the way, finally making our way to the bar.  I order us both a glass of champagne and I turn to her as we wait for our drinks.

“So what’s this surprise underneath?”  I raise my eyebrows.

“It’s pretty, I’ll tell you that much,” she crosses her arms over her chest.  “And that’s it.”

I pout at her. “Can’t I get a little peek?”

“Not here.”  She laughs.

“I’ve got a private room.”

“Are you serious?” she asks, shocked and amused, smacking her purse down on the counter.

“Look over there.”  I point to the other side of the room where there’s a door that says private on it.  I don’t know who planned this party out, Trace might have helped, Johnny, the label, who knows?  But they got me a private room with a stocked bar.  I haven’t even had time to really check it out yet, just glanced inside when we first got here.

“So like, we go in it and shut the door and that’s not suspicious?”  She laughs.  Our champagne is handed to us in two slender flute glasses.

“Everyone’s drunk and please, you’re my girl.  It’s obvious we get nasty together.”

“You’re nasty.”  She laughs again. I smile back at her, her laughter’s starting to become infectious.

“Cheers.”  I hold up my glass to her.

“To?”  She holds up her glass, the champagne sparkling almost as much as she is.

“Getting nasty.”  She giggles and clinks her glass with mine and I watch her as she sips it.

Her eyes widen, full of energy, and she leans in a bit but says quickly, “Oh I almost forgot, I got another present.”  She clutches her purse tightly to her chest as she takes another sip.

“Yeah?”

She smiles secretively and nods over towards the private room. “We can go in there for it.”

“Hey little lady!”  She gets cut off and I look over and see Tiny standing right there, his huge presence parts the crowd around him and gives us more space. I shake hands with him as he looks at Mere and says, “I’m glad you made it alright.  He was whining.  I thought I was going to have to send him home early from his own party.”

“You’re hilarious.” I glare at him.

“Teddy’s here,” Mere says, ignoring me.  “When I came in he saw some people he knew, but I know he brought cards with him.”

“Good to see ya.” He leans in and kisses her cheek before pulling back and smirking, “You all partying it up hard, huh?”

“Just some bubbly right now, we’ll get the hard shit going later.”

“Holler when it happens,” he says and then nods at both of us. “But please don’t make a scene that I have to clean up!” He laughs and walks away when I roll my eyes at him.  Mere’s just sipping her champagne and giggling at us.

 “Come on…”  I take her hand and walk with her through the crowd that’s thickening, having a hard time brushing off people this go round, but I do it anyway to get to the private door.  They’ve even got a security guy sitting there.  That’s funny.  He doesn’t look like much of one, and I’m sure Tiny and Teddy and some of the other guys would crack on him so hard if they saw him.  I nod at him and we walk in.

I shut the door. 

She walks over and sets her little purse down on the counter where there’re some liquor bottles and glass wear and a tray of fruit. I go and sit on the couch that’s there and put my glass of champagne against the table beside the couch after taking a sizable gulp of the liquid.  Then I look over at her, slouching, relaxing, hoping to god she’ll come over and sit with me. “Soooo, my present?”

She looks at me, biting into a strawberry and smiles before setting down her glass and sauntering over to me.  She stares as she kicks off her heels right in front of me, and seriously she looks so fucking sexy right now. I can’t even help it and just lick my lips as I look up at her.

“No big kiss, first?” she asks, faking a pout before kneeling on the couch and leaning over me. I put my hands on her hips and pull her into me.  She presses her lips against mine and I sigh, the first real fucking kiss from her in a week.

We kiss, deep and wet, and I love the way she tastes and the way she’s holding my shoulder and the way she moans when my hand grabs at her ass.  When she pulls away and licks her lips, her gloss now smudged a bit, I lick my own and taste berries and champagne, and I feel myself go hard off just being with her.

“Mmmm,” she smirks, teasing me and sitting beside me, her legs across my lap, sitting so close.  I wanted her to sit down and straddle me, but she moved.  I guess maybe it’ll mess up her dress.

“Maybe I should give you both presents right now,” she teases, running her hand up over my chest to my neck and pulling me towards her face so she can suck on my bottom lip.

She lets it go and bites her own bottom lip before tucking into herself all silly like.  Fucking tease…

“Really?”  I breathe.

She giggles and leans in so close to me and whispers in a naughty tone, “I’m not going to have sex with you and then go back out there.”

“So sex isn’t my present?” I say back at her.

“Sex is a given, Justin,” she replies matter of factly.  I smile and nod at her.  “The present is the outfit that you get prior to sex, the outfit that is underneath.”  She looks down at herself and then back up at me.  “Clear?” 

And like that we’re wild, her hands running over my head, her groaning when she doesn’t have anything to hold on to.  Her fingers gently touch my face.  I shaved.  And I know she likes it.  I lean over her and press against her—her breasts are about to fall out of her top.  I see black and lace underneath and I want to see more, but I’ll just take this peak and enjoy it.  I hold onto her ass and kiss her and kiss her: her mouth, her neck, her jaw. I can’t get enough of her.  I haven’t seen her in a week or so and it just feels good to touch her and kiss her and be with her.  And with the way her hands are against me, I know she’s glad to have me near, too.

When I pull back from her neck to kiss against her lips again, she’s breathless and whispers that she missed me.  She holds onto the edges of my vest, needing to hold on to something as she tries to regulate her breathing underneath me.  And I pull back and kiss her nose and tell her the same.  Then I say, “You hinted at another present.”

“In my purse.”  She smiles, looking all over my face and then giggling.

“What?”

“You’re all shaven and your hair—it’s different.  It’s short!”  I laugh at her and stumble off of her and walk over to the bar where her purse is.

“Did you figure out about your hair?” I ask.  The other night she spent two hours on the phone with me, sending me instant messages filled with links of pictures of different hair styles, asking me which ones I thought were the best. 

“Long for now. Maybe do something shorter when I go on tour. We’ll see.”

I open up her purse and see a small plastic bag wrapped around a velvety box. “This?”

“Yeah.”  I take out the plastic bag and open it.  It’s a jewelry box inside and when I slide it into my hand and open it, encased inside there’s a small, simple, silver chain with a diamond on the end of it sparkling up at me.  I grin only for a moment. It’s pretty, really fucking pretty, but I’m pretty sure this isn’t for me.

“Um, it’s a girl’s necklace,” I say to her as she’s standing up and walking towards me.

I pull the necklace out of the box. “It’s not for you, dumbo.  It’s mine, with your diamond, well our diamond, or whatever.”

I just stare at it.  I can’t stop staring at it and thinking about her wearing this, it gracing across her neck.  Little tiny things like this, this is the reason why I love her.  Because she takes the time out to think about these things.  I expected it to just be thrown in a drawer until we were ready to make that bigger step, but no, she wants it on her—she doesn’t want to forget it and she doesn’t want to forget me.

“So you’re going to wear it?”  I ask her, the necklace is so delicate and it dangles from my hand.

“Everyday.”  I look at her and she’s looking up at me with question. “If it’s ok?”

“Come here.”  I smile at her and turn her around.  I pull her hair out of her way behind her neck and work diligently to get the necklace around her.  She picks up her champagne glass beside her purse and sips while I work.  She laughs because it takes a while, the clasp is too small for my hands and I frustratingly struggle with it.  Finally, it works.

She turns around and to see it on her through the mirror behind all the liquor bottles.  All I can think is that she’s mine and that tonight, I’ll see her with that necklace on and only that necklace on.  It’ll be sparkling in the dim light above her naked body…

Shit…I love this girl.

I can’t help myself.  I step around her and hold her face and kiss her.  She kisses me back and it all just overcomes me and I can’t stop myself from picking her up, her dress riding up as she squeals and straddles my front.  I hope I don’t mess up her dress but I can’t help myself, and the way she’s holding me, kissing me and laughing loudly, I know she doesn’t mind.  Fucking girl just makes me too damn happy.

I lean her down on the couch and kiss her like crazy.  I am crazy, so fucking crazy for her. She laughs at me I don’t know why, I guess she’s just happy.

I guess I make her happy as well.

I press my lips against her cleavage and she keeps laughing.  I don’t stop and I smile against her skin as she’s pushing against my head and telling me to “stop”. 

But the tone of her voice means “go…” 

And I’m going…

I open my mouth against the plump flesh that’s right there and start to suck against her, but I sigh when I hear a knock at the door.  Dammit…

I sigh again and look up at her, and she’s just grinning at me with wide eyes.  I roll my eyes and say loudly, “come in” not really caring who sees me on top of her right now.  Mere scolds me and pushes up at me to get me off of her, but I won’t let her go.  I smile at her as she pouts and whines, finally able to sit up, but my arms are still around her.

The door opens and I take my eyes off Mere’s chest where she was wiping with her hand to my mother, who’s hanging in the door way looking at me like she’s bored out of her mind. “Hey….” 

She purses her lips and just stares at me, “Honey, it’s your own party…”

“And Ma,” I laugh and tickle at Mere’s sides as she smacks my hands.  “She’s my own girlfriend.”

“They’re about to do some toast for you,” she rolls her eyes.  “I figured you should be a part of it.”

“Ok, I’ll be right there.”

“Hey Lynn,” Mere says.

“Hey sweetie.”  My mom smiles at Mere and then glares at me, “Stop hogging her.”

“Yes Ma’am.”  I laugh and my mom leaves and shuts the door.  Mere takes a deep breath and smiles at me while she rubs her hand against my head.

“She’s great.”

I smile back at her and shrug, saying, “I love you. And my present.” 

“Just you wait.” She presses her lips to mine and before I can deepen the kiss she pulls away, smiles and whispers, “Come on…”

I follow her and hold her hand like I’m some damned lost puppy.  She has me wrapped around her finger so fucking tight, and there’s no place else I’d rather be than right there, right here, holding her hand.  As we go out into the crowd of people, I have to get lost in it.  It’s no longer just about me and her any more.  We aren’t alone, that’s clear by everyone shouting at us and trying to get us to stop and talk.  Half way to the bar, people are hollering and whistling at me. I get sucked up in the mess of it all, but still...

The entire time she’s still by my side, smiling at me. 

And even if someone pulls her away in a minute, which I’m sure will happen—she has friends here, too—it doesn’t matter, ‘cause I’ll look her way and she’ll still be smiling at me.  And she’ll still be sparkling, like her fucking diamond.

There’s been so much stuff that’s happen the past year of my life and I’ve lived a long, full life.  It’s crazy to think that there’s so much left to do, so much left I want to do. I’ve done so much with her already but there’s even more still.  Same with Trace.  You’d think after twenty-whatever years we’d have run out of things to do together, but it hasn’t happened.  I thought maybe this summer it was happening, but I was wrong.  We got this new line to figure out, and I have a feeling it’s gonna be fucking amazing.

This party is going to be amazing, this next year is: it’s all just starting to go my way.  It always has gone my way.  I’ve been a fucking lucky son of a bitch, and I’m now finally starting to really realize that.

I guess I just had to get over myself, I had to grow up.  And now that I’ve done that, or at least started to, it’s like I’m staring over. I’ve got the rest of my life in front of me, and that’s an exciting idea.  It’s like I can finally see it all so clear.  I don’t see everything and I never will, but the things I know and the things that matter finally make sense to me.  All I had to do was look at the way I was going in my life.  I’ve learn from it and figured out what I really want to do, what direction I need to go and who I want to take with me.  And what I want, more than music or fame or money or even a hot chick by my side—I want to be happy.  And I fucking realize now that as long as I have one great friend who’s happy in his life, and as long as I got one great girl who’s happy to share my life, then I’ll be alright.  I’ll be happy.

I got both, and I got so much more.