Lyric Diner, 2:04 p.m.

It’s been a rough day so far. A lot has happened and a lot has changed and I can’t be mad about it, and I can’t go sit in the hotel room and drink some JD like I want to. And that’s probably a good thing. I should be happy for him, ya know? Mere’s a great girl, but I know this is going to be a problem. He’s going to be coming back in the spotlight soon, and if he’s dating her that’s all anyone else is going to care about. And I know he’s thought this through, I hope to God he’s thought this through. It doesn’t help that this Courtney chick is in the way, too.

I’m not quite sure what her deal is, but it’s clear she’s a control freak. Most people like that either are out of control in another aspect of their life, or at one point were not in control of their life. I wonder which one it is for her. I hope she’s not evil like that other girl. I hope she lightens up for Meredith’s sake and mine.

This morning when I woke up, went to Justin’s door to knock and wake him up and Meredith answered the door with sleep in her eyes and a pillow imprint on her cheek, I knew things were about to change. It’s happened before. I’ve gone to his room and found some random girl standing there with pillow marks on her face and wearing his t-shirt. But nothing changed with those girls and I knew that they were just some girl he wanted to sleep with for the night. But with Meredith it’s different. It’s been different with her since Justin met her. I know how much Justin cares about this girl, how much he thinks of her. I guess I can blame it all on myself. I met her first and thought how great she and Justin would get along.

And I really like Meredith, I do. She’s a sweet girl and pretty as anything. But now that her and Justin are starting something, which I guess is what they are doing, he hasn’t said much to me about it, I know I’m gonna get stuck with this Courtney chick. And that is a major, major problem. She’s got all the qualities I hate about myself and some more I just generally can not stand. I know what its like to be in her position, but she takes that position to a new level. There’s not a need to be as uptight as she is, especially when your star is getting enough uptight feedback from everyone else involved in their career at the time.

That’s what I learned with Justin. He needs me to be a friend first. He needs me to willingly do things for him, and yeah I guess you could call me a gopher or a little bitch, making phone calls for him, arranging things, picking up things he needs, whatever. He can’t just go out and get whatever he needs all the time and he rarely has the time to try. I love my job and I love the people I get to be around and interact with.

But I’m not going to love this assistant chick. I can already see it. Weeks from now, Justin and Meredith will meet up, he’ll want to be alone so he can bang her or something and I’ll be stuck…entertaining this uptight crusty girl in her little khaki pants and high and mighty attitude while in the next room Justin’s getting it on and we’re having to force conversation over their obscene sex noises. That chick gave me attitude this morning too, practically knocking down our door when she realized her “client” or whatever she calls Meredith, wasn’t in her room. She cussed me out when I wouldn’t let her in and when I finally did and she knocked on Justin’s door I knew some shit was about to go down.

Meredith was sitting on the bed in her pajamas but Justin was there just out of the shower and he was pissed at the way she was knocking on the door and yelling at Meredith to get back to their room. All he had to do was swing the door open, stare at her and she shut up. Meredith said she’d be down in a minute and Justin slammed the door in her face. She looked at me and glared and threatened me somehow. I don’t really remember, I was still trying to wake myself up at that point. But I knew then and there, right when she barged in, that I wouldn’t be able to deal with this bitch.

Then, come to find out, Justin was weaseling his way into spending an extra day or two in New York so he could spend time with Meredith. I don’t blame him, but it annoyed the hell out of me. He’s supposed to be back in LA and then go to Miami to finalize the rest of his album. And I had to spend all morning on the phone with the jet company and the hotel and Johnny and Sonia and then she called.

And I really, really did not want to talk to her.

She was the one who called it off. She was the one who left. She was the one who went and started fucking some other guy only two weeks after we broke it off. It’s been almost a year. I should be over it by now. But dammit, I was gonna marry that girl. I had a fucking ring on her finger and everything.

I guess it’s for the best. Justin and I still had some bachelor left in us and he was willing to go balls out like we did after him and Britney broke up. I’m not surprised that he’s finally found a girl he’s ready to get serious with. I just hope he really is ready and doesn’t just want to fuck her. ‘Cause I can see this turning into some huge drama fest if that’s all he wants from her.

And the last thing I need right now is drama.

“You wanna wait in the car or something?”

I blink and realize I was staring off into space like an idiot while everyone else was getting out of the car. I get out as well and follow Justin into the restaurant with Tiny behind me. Justin had the desire to go to this little 24 hour diner on the lower east side for a late lunch after spending this morning shitting around in the studio. He claimed he had more work to do when he talked to Johnny. He failed to specify the work and it just happened to not be anything musical. Well, I guess trying to get into the pants of a hot little singer could technically be musical.

And the only reason we waited ‘til two to eat and had to come to this particular place was because Justin wanted to. And why did Justin want to?

“Oh no…”

Damn those khakis pants.

I love how Justin completely ignores her and marches straight to the back and slides beside Meredith in a booth in the back of the diner. There’s another girl there too, but I’ve never seen her. Teddy is sitting at a table a few feet away from where the girls and Justin are, and I see that stupid briefcase and a laptop up on the table beside him with an empty chair that’s pushed away from the table. Man, and I thought it was bad that I was going to have to entertain her. Poor Teddy has to deal with her all the damn time.

“I wasn’t informed that you all would be joining us.”

“Sorry.” I shrug and move my eyes from everyone else to her. It’s a shame really, ‘cause she’s the type of girl that probably could be pretty with a fashion makeover. And maybe a lobotomy.

She puts her hands on her hips and stares me down. “We were almost late this morning.”

I laugh at her. She’s quite hilarious, really. I’m not sure why she’s telling all this to me, or why she’s implying blame on me. It’s not my fault that Justin and Mere are hooking up. And it’s definitely not my fault that she snuck out last night to come to our room. Hell, I didn’t even know that. “Almost late means you were either early or right on time, doesn’t it?”

She sighs, drops her arms and looks away from me. “It means I probably have a stomach ulcer now.”

“How many pair of khakis pants do you own?” I bite my lip. I didn’t mean for that to come out and now she’s staring me down. But it’s a legitimate question. I mean, maybe she just likes khakis but she was wearing them yesterday and now again today, some other little style. Today she has on a polo shirt. She looks like a camp counselor or something, ready for action on the first day. All she needs is a little embroidered logo. “Camp Courtney” and the motto would be “Crankiness, Constipation and Continuous Stress.”

Ya know, this chick is right. She probably did give herself an ulcer this morning, and that’s her own damn fault, no one else’s.

“Excuse me?”

I hear Meredith call my name and wave me over. “Trace, come over here!” I silently thank her for rescuing me and slip past this chick to the table Justin and her and the mystery girl are sitting at. Mystery girl is cute, very stylish and is sitting there circling a fry around in her ketchup. Maybe she’s single, maybe…maybe she’ll be what I need to get over Elisha.

I see a waiter standing over where Tiny has pulled up a seat by Teddy. I ask, “Are you ordering for Justin?” Tiny rolls his eyes which means yes and I clap the poor waiter on the shoulder and say, “Cheeseburger and coke for me, thanks.” He looks young and nervous.

Someone pulls on my arm and I’m yanked over to the table where everyone else is at. Meredith pulls me into a half hug before forcing me into the seat next to the girl. “Trace, do you remember Megan? She’s my bestest friend, the one that was with me when I first met you. And before you start, yes she was the one in the pictures.” Meredith laughs and plops down beside Justin.

“Oh, so this is the one that calls you Lesbo?” Megan laughs.

Meredith rolls her eyes at me and I open my mouth, knowing she’ll cut me off or slap me sometime soon. “Yes, and I’m the one with the mutantly large-“

“Trace!” Justin laughs and Mere reaches over to hold her hands over Megan’s ears. “Guard her virgin ears.”

And then Megan shakes her head, gives Meredith a funny look and leans back over the table. She starts to speak rapidly and I just sit there and listen in. “Right…speaking of virgin ears, so this dude is one…well, he’s not an ear of course, but a virgin.”

“You’re dating a virgin!” Meredith slaps her hands on the table and I can say now I’m honestly interested in this conversation. I wonder what it would be like to be a virgin at 25. Elisha claimed that one of the problems we had was that I wanted sex too much. It wasn’t like I pressured her and it wasn’t like I asked her every day if we could. She was my woman and I found her beautiful and I wanted her. And I didn’t think that was such a bad thing.

But apparently she did. Which doesn’t make much sense ‘cause she seemed to enjoy having sex with me. I think she just didn’t have the balls to tell me she had met someone else and that she wasn’t in love with me anymore.

Bitch.

“That’s what he says! I don’t know though, maybe he was just joking.”

“I gotta meet this guy.”

“How about tonight?” I watch as Meredith lifts an eyebrow and then smiles as Justin casually puts an arm around her. I guess they fit. She’ll be good for him, I hope. It just sucks for me, ‘cause when Justin’s in a relationship it takes up his time. It takes up his whole time. He won’t want to go out with just me and him. He’ll want her there, too. He won’t wanna go buy hot ladies expensive drinks at the club and see if we can get any to come home with us. It wouldn’t be so bad if I had someone myself, but… Anyway. “We should all go out. Use your celebrity status to get me into a cool club with free drinks.”

Meredith pouts and leans against Justin. “You don’t care about me, just my money and my fame!” Then she smiles and flips off her best friend.

Megan laughs and sticks out her tongue. “You figured me out. And what money are you talking about? You’ve spent all your money on that new house of yours. And your wardrobe.”

“I don’t know about tonight. I probably have something to do tomorrow morning and I’m sure that Courtney won’t let me go out.”

Justin says, “Mere she can’t tell you what you can and can’t do.” I nod in agreement.

“But I think tomorrow is the day I have to be at Good Morning America way early.”

I think going out would be good for me. Even if it is with two couples. It’ll give me an excuse to get drunk. Plus, we probably won’t be back in New York for a few weeks. “It’s also our last night in town.” I point out.

Meredith’s face drops and she immediately turns to look at Justin. “I thought you were staying cause of work.”

He pulls his arm from around her. “I could only stay a day later. I have to be in Miami this weekend to finish up everything.”

“So wait…” Everyone looks at Megan as she points in between Justin and Meredith. “Are you guys like together…”

I laugh as Justin says “Yes” and Meredith says “No.”

“Ok missy, you told me you guys made out last night.” Megan says and then turns her attention to Justin. “I need to know your intentions for my best friend.”

Someone clears their throat and that poor dweebish waiter is there with a tray of drinks. “Way to be awkward Megan,” Meredith grits out.

“It’s a gift.” She shrugs, not really caring. I kind of like this girl. She’s funny and says what’s on her mind.

I say thanks to the waiter, and once he leaves Justin nudges Meredith and asks, “We’re dating…right?” Her smile would light up a dark tunnel and I guess it’s sweet that she likes him that much. I don’t know why he hadn’t asked her out sooner. I told him that first day they were together that I thought she had a crush on him. But he didn’t believe me.

He was probably weirded out ‘cause he was dating Jocelyn at the time, well, sleeping with her at least. Justin can never handle it when he likes two girls, or if he is with one and then starts liking another. He always freaks out, asks me what to do, or tries to ignore the problem.

But now Jocelyn is long gone and it seems as if things are working out in his favor.

I wish things were working out in my favor. But no, I’m still alone, still messed up over that bitch that dumped me, and still trying to figure out if I’m even ready to get back out there and find another woman.

“Then how ‘bout a big date tonight,” Megan exclaims before sipping on her soda. “Me and Josh, you guys, and Trace and….your assistant.”

“I’m not going on a date with her.” I immediately say it and we all look over and she’s there typing furiously away at her laptop, headphones in her ear, probably listening to Celine Dion or Kenny G or something else to match her khakis pants.

“She won’t go.”

“She’ll have to if she’s your assistant.”

Justin’s laughing and I realize that most of my bad mood for today has been attributed by him. He’s being a little bit of an ass today, a little too needy, a little too bossy, and a little too far up in his own world to care about anyone else. I’ll have to bring him down from the clouds, but later. Later when I can cuss him out and not have to watch what I say since I’m in public and around ladies.

‘Cause he’s being a faggoty asshole today.

“How?”

He looks at me and smiles. “Trace will convince her.”

I narrow my eyes. No, he’s being a little pussy bitch that needs to be punched.

“And how do you think I’m going to do that?”

Justin laughs and puts his arm back across Meredith’s shoulders. “You know how to work it.” I glare at him. “Come on Trace, please…” They all start begging me like they’re five years old and want ice cream for breakfast. I’m not their fucking daddy. They can’t beg me to do shit. I’m not gonna sit here and take this and be forced into some conversation with some uptight psycho bitch. I don’t want to talk to her and if I was going out tonight I would not want to convince her to tag along. I don’t even see why she has to come out! Teddy and Tiny will protect Meredith. She doesn’t need her assistant there to be prying into her business. Let the girl go home and rest and get rid of all that stress that she complains about. Dammit. I know I’m Justin’s assistant. And I’ll do almost anything he needs me to do. But not this. I draw a line here. This is just bull shit.

“Hey…”

I sigh and realize that now I’m standing up, standing over her and her laptop. There’s an empty chair nearby and I pull it out. She pulls out her headphones and I hear something blasting out. It sounds like Zepplin, but I think I’m just hearing things. She’s supposed to be listening to Celine, dammit.

“Can I sit here?”

“I don’t know, can you?”

Dammit.

“That was lame, Courtney.”

She passes me a sarcastic smile and picks up her ipod and turns it off and then drops it in her purse, or briefcase or whatever the fuck that damn thing is. “Sure, have a seat, annoy me further while I refine my resume.”

I sit down. “Is it saved?”

She clicks a button. “It is now.”

“Good.” I listen to her scoff as I close the laptop and lean further on the table. “So look, everyone over at that table wants to go out tonight, and for some reason they think that I can convince you to go out with us. I don’t know why they want you to come since you don’t really seem like much of a party girl. And yet, here I am. So, what do you say about us going to Suede. It’ll be a night of no worries, free drinks, delightful company.”

“No worries?” She laughs and nods over to the table. I’m not really sure if she means Mere and Justin or Mere and Megan when she says, “With those two? Yeah right. And the company will be far from delightful. And there’s no way I’ll be able to drink because tomorrow…”

I cut her off. “Forget tomorrow. Come out and convince your “client”, as you so sweetly call her, that you’re a fun person and not just a tyrant. And convince me you got something other than khakis pants to wear.” I wink at her and she leans forward and narrows her eyes at me.

“Are you hitting on me?”

Why the hell is she smiling? Don’t even start to tell me she has the hots for me. ‘Cause that’s just fuckin’ awkward.

“Yeah…” I roll my eyes. “Um, sure.”

“She’s got a busy day tomorrow.”

“Really? What does she have to do?”

“Wanna see her schedule?” I don’t say yes, but she flips her laptop back open and pulls up some document. It’s a timetable for what Meredith is scheduled to do the next day. Honestly, I’m blown away. I haven’t seen this much crap since Justin was in the first days of ‘Nsync. She’s booked. No wonder she looks run down, she’s being overworked. And that means Courtney’s overworking herself as well. I wonder how this chick got this job. She clearly doesn’t know what the fuck she’s doing.

I point to one of the interviews, the one right after her Good Morning America performance. It’s at this smaller radio station and there’s no way they’re gonna get there in time. “You know damn well that isn’t going to happen. You are overbooking her.”

“Angie sends me list of who to call or who will be calling me to book. She told me to say yes to all.”

I laugh. Yeah, this girl doesn’t know what she’s doing. I’ve never really had to book interviews for Justin, and I don’t really understand why Angie has Courtney doing her work, but I have had to reschedule and cancel and if Justin wanted to go visit someone or something I’m usually the one that has to arrange that. “Then she told you to overwork Meredith. She can’t do all this. Look, she doesn’t need to go do a radio spot for all these stations.” I point to another and laugh again. “This is a fucking soft rock station Courtney!”

For a moment she’s quiet. She knows I put her in her place and she knows I’m right. But she can’t admit it. She just quietly says, “Don’t tell me how to do my job.”

“Then how about just a little word of advice among colleagues? Cancel…” I point to a few things on the screen. “This, this and this. God, she doesn’t need to help do a grand opening for an independent record store. People who are into independent records are not going to be buying some R&B dance album. And cut this while you’re at it. You’ll have a bigger opening for lunch. She’ll get to run back to the hotel and tell Justin bye.” She glares and I smile at her. “And you’ll get to kiss me farewell,” She gags and I laugh some more. “And I swear, you do all that and your client will be much happier and like you a hell of a lot better than she likes you right now. And she might be more willing to work with you next time instead of making your life hell.”

“Angie will fire me.”

“Angie doesn’t know what all Meredith does. She knows the big shit. She knows about MTV and any appearance on major networks. She’ll know about major radio stations, but this other shit…she won’t know and I bet you she doesn’t care.”

“And if I get in trouble what do I tell her? The Trace Fairy told me to do it this way.”

I shrug and watch as our food is delivered. The guy doesn’t bring it over here so I figure it’s about time for me to leave this bundle of fun in khakis pants land and get back to a real conversation. “Sure why not. But I’m not a fairy, so don’t call me one.”

“Could’ve fooled me.”

I shake my head and scoot my chair out. “You’re a bitch, you know that?” I realize after it’s come out that I actually said that out loud. I try not to let things like that slip but, this girl just can’t go around calling me a fairy when I’m trying to fucking help her. I know she thinks she’s better than me. But she’s not. She doesn’t know what the hell she’s doing and I’m just trying to help. I’m trying to make life easier for my best friend and his girl and she just wants to butt in the way and be disagreeable.

But that still doesn’t give me a right to call her a bitch.

At least not to her face. “Ok, you can slap me,” I say to her.

She blinks and slowly shakes her head, “No, everyone around here has called me that, but not to my face. I’m actually impressed you had the balls to do it right here.”

I get the feeling that she’s joking, that’s she just pulling my chain and about to unleash the wrath of Courtney. “Well, um, I’m special that way.”

I watch her glance at the spreadsheet again. She types a little bit and then calls out, “Meredith…” Courtney doesn’t look up but I see the whole table staring at me. I hear Courtney sigh and she says, “After you finish eating we need to hurry up and try to get you to Sony early for your meeting, and then maybe get you back so you can get ready for tonight and we can get to the club early and maybe leave a little earlier than we would otherwise.”

She still doesn’t look over at the table but Meredith mouths “I love you” to me and high fives Megan. At least they’re happy. And at least I get to go out tonight and get drunk. But I have a feeling I’ll be entertaining Miss Khakis, and that’s going to call for a bottle of Jack, or two.

“Thanks for that.”

She shrugs off my appreciation and plugs her ears with her headphones and pulls her ipod out of her satchel. I guess that’s what it is. I guess a briefcase would have locks. Oh shit, this does have locks. “We’ll just see how it all works out.” She says to me. I nod and figure she wants to be alone again, so I stand up and walk back over to the table.

“And Trace…” I turn to look at her as I slide in beside Megan. She doesn’t look at me and starts clicking at her laptop again. “Don’t ever fucking call me a bitch again.”

I smile and salute her though she doesn’t see me. I say, “Yes Ma’am…”

She might be uptight and might not have a clue what she’s doing. And she might need a makeover, but she’s kinda funny. And I think if we got her out more, loosened her up and showed her a good time, I don’t think she’d be that bad. I mean she’s not gonna be fun, but maybe she won’t be so damn annoying and so damn bitchy. In fact, I think this bitchy personality she has going for her, I think it’s a front.