Room 3012, 1:39 a.m.

Not even Food Network is working. And that really sucks ass. Normally I can just plop on the couch, turn it to the food channel and I’ll drift asleep in no time. But they’re having an Iron Chef America marathon and I love this shit. So I’m watching it. But I guess I know that that’s really not the reason I can’t fall asleep. I guess a part of me wants to stay up. I know it’s over by now and I know there was little chance of her showing up to begin with, but she said she’d try.

But it’s late and I’m supposed to fly back to LA tomorrow and I should be cooler than staying up while everyone else is snoring in hopes that some hot chick will knock on my door.

And damn, was she looking hot today. When I first met her, actually before that, when I saw her picture and her video and stuff, I thought she was cute. But then when I met her and we worked together in LA, I don’t know, there was just something about her. She’s different than a lot of girls in the business. She’s still real, still got that normal everyday girl thing about her. And she’s cute and funny. Got a great laugh. And she’s hot.

God, I think she’s gotten even hotter since I saw her last. I guess she was all done up for her interviews today. I don’t know. It’s probably silly. I don’t know her that well. We spent that week pretty much together 24/7, but that was two months ago and she’s busy and I’m going to be getting busy really soon with all my shit that’s coming out. Starting something with her is probably a stupid idea. She doesn’t have the time or the energy to be worrying about me. Plus I’m sure the press would just love it if we were together and that would create more stress that I know she can’t deal with right now.

And that girl can deal with a lot, I’ve seen it. But she’s still new, and she sometimes doesn’t know how to vent all her frustration. Trace likes her a lot, which is a good thing, ‘cause he didn’t like the last two chicks I dated. I guess I didn’t either. I don’t know, though. That new assistant she has is going to be a pain if, if anything happens.

I shouldn’t even think that it would. For all I know she only likes me as a friend. Trace tells me it’s obvious she has a crush on me, but I don’t know. I’ve always been weird about reading these signals women send me. When we were in the studio I thought she might have a crush on me, but I don’t know. I never know. She was going through a rough time and I tried my best to make her smile and see her through it, so maybe she was just appreciative. But there were times when I hoped it was more. Several times I wanted to kiss her, once I almost did, but I chickened out. That’s weird for me. Normally I go for it and accept the consequences that come after, whether they hate it or love it. But this time I was too scared to kiss her, too scared that she might turn me down. Too scared she might go, “oh Justin, I’m sorry. I don’t like you like that.” And then my hopes would be crushed.

It’s pathetic. I haven’t crushed on a girl this bad since, well damn, Britney. I don’t know if that’s a good sign or not. I mean, sure I’ve had girls since then, I’ve dated around, slept around, even called a few my girlfriends, but they’ve never possessed me like this. I could always get them out of my mind if I tried hard enough. But nothing is working for this girl, and it’s not just that I’m really horney and she’s really hot and I want her or something. It’s not about that.

Ok, so it’s about that a little bit but there’s more to her than just sex. Hell, she might not even like sex, I don’t know. Well, that one song we did together is pretty fucking sexy. Yeah, she probably likes sex.

Dammit, this isn’t good. I gotta stop. Ok Food Network, distract me. It’s Bobby Flay versus this little nerdy looking chef guy. Flay always fuckin’ wins. I probably won’t win tonight either. I think Mere might be a little out of my league, just a little. She wouldn’t know what to do with a guy like me anyway.

For all I know she doesn’t even want a relationship now. Hell, I don’t know if I even want one. I love relationships. Some of my best times have been with girlfriends, but so have some of my worst times. It’s getting to the point where I have to wonder if I really want that kind of commitment or if I just want, ya know, someone in my bed with me at night. I guess it’s a sleazy thing to say that I just want a fuck buddy, but it’s been a while. I mean, three months is a while, right?

A girl like her wouldn’t want to just be my fuck buddy.

At least, I don’t think.

Yeah, I definitely don’t want to have to deal with the whole tabloid craze that comes with a relationship. Right now I need to be working on finishing up this album so I can get it out and get on tour and get back to what I love doing. I can find any old girl to be with at night. That’s what I’ll do on tour.

But I don’t want any old girl.

Dammit, I haven’t had someone cloud my mind like this in forever. I just, I can’t get her out, ya know? It’s what made me tell Trace to call her today. I heard that she was in town and thought maybe I’d run into her. But I tried not to make a big deal about it. But then I kept wondering about her and how she’s been doing and how her album finished up and if she liked working with Tim and Jason and just, ya know, how things were.

And I started wondering about her, about how she had been doing. If she was still stressed and worried about what that bitch did to her. If…if she needed to talk to anyone. And so I made Trace call. I’m really glad I did. ‘Cause she was looking fine today, and she seemed to be happy, tired, no exhausted, but happy.

Well, happy besides this new assistant of hers.

I gotta get rid of that girl for her. Ya know, I probably can find her someone better. I got connections and I know some people. Hell, maybe Rachel would want to fly out for a little bit until we find someone who really fits with her. I just, whatever I do I gotta help her with this. I gotta get this Courtney girl out of her way.

And out of mine.

I stretch and stand off of the couch and flick the TV off. The lights are off in the den area, Trace and Tiny are already asleep. I scratch my head and throw the blanket I had been under on to the couch and shuffle my way over to the door to my bedroom. Halfway there I hear a faint knock. At first I think it’s my imagination but then it comes again, slightly louder.

I walk over and peer through the peephole.

I smile.

The door opens and I grin at her, standing there with her glasses on, boxers, a t-shirt and her dark hair pulled back. “Is it too late?” She whispers.

I shake my head and open the door wider, “Not at all, come on in.”

“It’s dark, were you asleep?”

I laugh, she’s still whispering. God, she’s so cute at times. “Just heading that way. You have good timing.” I pull her in and lock the door behind us before leading her towards my room. She immediately goes in, turns on the nightstand light, and plops down on the bed, making herself at home and fluffing the pillow under her head. I grin and shut my door. She looks good there, laying in jammies on my bed. Shit, this isn’t good.

The last thing I need is a fucking hard on while I’m wearing basketball shorts.

“How was the party?” She makes her head fall down, closes her eyes and fake snores. I laugh. “That bad, huh?”

She curls up on her side and hugs one of the pillows to her chest. She shrugs and I move to sit down on the bed with her. I guess that’s kind of a bold thing to do, but well, she was the one laying with me on the couch earlier and she’s the one that made herself at home in my bed. And she’s the one that’s turning me on by just laying there and looking cute. “The food was pretty good, and so were the cocktails, but I only got to have two the whole night, one with dinner and then another before we left.”

“Why’s that?” She rolls her eyes. I’ve noticed that she does that a lot and while I guess it’s kind of an immature habit, it doesn’t annoy me when she does it. Normally, it’s a pet peeve. God, I sound like a fucking dork getting all gushy over this chick. But Mere, well, she’s different than any other chick, and for the first time in a while I really feel something for a woman. It’s more than just wanting to sleep with her. It’s actually a whole hell of a lot more.

“’Cause my slave driver said I couldn’t.” She says with a yawn.

Yeah, that girl has got to go. Ya know, she’s probably a nice girl underneath that tough business woman wannabe attitude. But she just can’t act like that in this business. Sure, Mere needs some guidance, but trying to whip her into shape and boss her around is just going to make a girl like her close off and not care about anything you have to say. Courtney needs to either shape up or get the hell out. ‘Cause she might think she knows what’s best for Meredith, but she doesn’t know how in the hell to make it happen or get her “client” to make it happen. “That girl ain’t right.”

I shift onto my stomach and hold my upper body up with my elbows. It seems to solve my fear of getting a hard on for a moment, and I let my eyes travel over her for the first time to really appreciate the look of her smooth legs and the curve of her breasts under her loose fitting shirt as she pulls the pillow away from her. She grins at me and then smacks me with the damned thing before pulling it back and using it as a shield. I guess I needed that smack and she knows by now that given any chance I’ll start to tickle her. In fact in LA, when we were recording I touched her back while she was at the boards listening to playback, and she jumped and then laughed and said, “Don’t touch me. I’m extremely ticklish.” It was probably the worst thing she could say to me ‘cause then of course I tickled her like mad there on the couch. Trace got the whole thing on video and then she pissed her pants. She literally pissed her pants. Then she threatened to rub her pee stained pants in our faces if we didn’t give her the camera and let her erase the footage.

Of course we let her erase it. We might be asses at times but we know when enough is enough. I guess in a weird way that was what made me start to like her. I know, crazy right? A girl pisses her pants and I start to like her, but really. I guess it took some guts to stand up to us after such an embarrassing moment. She knew how to dish it right back and didn’t run off screaming and cussing at me. She laughed at herself and made Trace go rent Billy Madison just for that “pee your pants is cool” part. And I can remember laying there on the couch in the dark of the studio, watching it on Trace’s laptop but really watching her shift and try to get comfortable laying on the floor, and trying to gather up the courage to ask her to lay with me. But I kept thinking that’d be awkward with Trace in the room. I don’t know why, Trace has seen me do worse things than just lay on a couch with a girl.

“You ain’t right. I hope she didn’t wake up when I left.”

“Oh, did someone sneak out?”

“Maybe. And hey,” She smiles at me and leans closer. “I told you if I came back tonight you were supposed to be in your leather thong.”

I lean closer to her and think how great it would be to just lay a kiss on her right now. “It’s underneath.”

“Oh really?”

“Wanna see?” I wink at her and she starts to laugh.

Damn, what a laugh. I find myself just looking at her and smiling as she laughs. I call her a ‘silly girl’ and she calms down after a while and closes her eyes like she’s tired. I decide to move my body a bit, turning onto my side like her, not caring about the fear of the hard on anymore. In fact, I’m starting to think Trace is right. Just, just by the way she’s looking at me now, I guess you could say they aren’t the eyes of just a friend. It’s deeper than that. She’s looking at me, really looking at me. And I think she likes what she sees.

And that really makes me smile.

“So, you leave tomorrow?”

“Yeah…” My smile drops and so does hers. She pouts a little and looks away from me. A piece of her brown hair falls from her pony tail and across her face. I move it for her. “Aww, what’s wrong?”

“I wish you were staying so we might be able to hang out again. I always have fun with you.”

“You can stay here tonight if you want.”

“Excuse me, Mr. Timberlake! I don’t know you that well to be sleeping with you.” I laugh. I always manage to say the wrong thing with a girl I like. Everyone thinks I’m Mr. Suave when it comes to girls, that I know how to charm the panties off them. But the truth is, that’s usually only with women that I don’t particularly care much about. When a girl like Meredith comes along, a girl that’s different, well, I can tend to act like I’m in 8th grade all over again. I usually feel like an ass and say something stupid. Like right now.

But I try to play it off and smile at her and try to move my hands to her sides to tickle her, but she’s too fast and smacks my hands away. “Sleeping with me? You think I wanna have sex with you?”

“Well, don’t you?” She starts to blush immediately and that seals it for me. She does like me. Shit, she really does. She shakes her head and tries to play it off, “I mean, ya know who wouldn’t want to get nasty with a sexy lady like me.”

I don’t really say anything to her ‘cause of course now all I can think about is her little body underneath me all moaning and breathing hard. Oh god, this is bad. I sigh and move to sit up a bit. Laying here with her is hazardous. “It wouldn’t be right. I just meant sleep over. I can take the couch or something.”

She turns on her back for a moment, staring up at the ceiling and still hugging onto that damned pillow. She looks like she has something on her mind, but she doesn’t say a thing. I hate this kind of thing. I hate it when I can’t read people. It makes me wonder if maybe I said the wrong thing, if I upset her or made her think about something worrisome. I hope to God I haven’t blown any chance I had with her. I really need to just stop this and stop thinking I have a chance ‘cause for all I know she hates my guts and is just laying here cause well, she’s…God, now I don’t even know what I’m thinking.

“Will you do me a favor?”

She still doesn’t look at me, remains staring at the ceiling, and I scoot down so I can be closer to her. “What’s the favor?”

“Will you, maybe, I don’t know, call me?” Her brown eyes shift to mine. She’s unsure and nervous and I smile to try and ease her mind. “You don’t have to a lot, just maybe every now and then to let me know how you are doing. You always make me at ease. If you’re too busy I understand.”

“Of course I will.” I wanted to call her the past two months, but, honestly, I was scared to. I knew if I started I wouldn’t want to stop. I’d want to be around her all the time. And I didn’t realize she liked me back. But now I’m starting to think that maybe the past two months have been wasted.

Maybe I should have called her.

She laughs, blushes again and darts her eyes away from me. “Good, ‘cause ya know…I mean, I guess it’s kind of obvious.” She tugs at her hair for a moment and shuts her eyes, mumbling, “Idiot.”

“What’s obvious?”

“That I…” She sucks in a breath and glances at me. And then, shit, then she says rather fast, “that I have a big crush on you.”

She immediately covers her face with the pillow and holds it there. I find myself unable to say anything in return. I mean, I guessed it, I hoped it, but to hear her really say it, well, that changes everything.

Maybe I am ready for this. I could at least try. Fear is something I try never to let take hold of me and I guess that’s why I said I wasn’t “ready” for commitment. I still might not be, but damn…with her I should at least try.

I scoot closer and put my hand on the pillow, hoping she’ll move it. “Mere…”

She peeks out over the top of the pillow. Her face is bright red, and I don’t know if it’s because what she just told me, or having the fabric against her face for so long. “It’s embarrassing.”

I finally pluck the pillow from her and put it on the other side of her. Finally, freedom. No shield, no guard, just her and me. I smile some more and touch her face. “It shouldn’t be. I like you, too.”

Her eyes widen with excitement and then squint into a bright smile. “Really?” I can think of nothing better to do but to kiss her, so I do. Her lips are soft and she lets me lay a bit on her and lets me deepen the kiss. She’s tastes like toothpaste and something all together unique. I can’t help myself but sigh as I kiss her and I guess I’m starting to realize how much I’ve been wanting to do this. I think I’ve wanted to do this from the time she walked into the studio, somber, stressed and nervous beyond belief.

She pulls away suddenly, licks her lips and stretches underneath me. “Courtney’s gonna kill me if, if this goes somewhere.”

I smile at her and shift so we’re back on our sides and she’s flush against me, holding me a little bit. She’s soft and small and I like that. “Just forget about her.” I rub my hand down her back and resist the urge to go up the back of her shirt. I know Mere can party and I know she likes to, but I also know that she’s not one of these girls that have grabbed their sexuality by the balls and if they want something they go for it. I think if Meredith even did want me right now she wouldn’t do much more than kiss me. And that’s fine, I just, I need to remind myself that. She’s not immature and I wouldn’t call her naïve, but I think she’s still new to a lot of this, the business and other things.

I don’t think she’s a virgin, but I know she’s not going to give it up that easily. And maybe that’s a good thing.

“How?” She pulls away and looks at me with a pout. “She’s constantly breathing down my neck.”

I grin at her and kiss her quickly. “I think I have a plan.”

“Oh no.”

I laugh. Her voice doesn’t sound that reassuring and I know she thinks I’ve got this elaborate plan to make the girl’s life miserable, but really I think she just needs to back off. She needs a hobby and I know the perfect one for a girl like her. “What? Trust me.” I look off to the side for a moment and think about how great it would be for Trace to get this chick out of her shell a little bit. “I think Trace might be able to entertain her for a while.”

She rolls her eyes playfully and hugs me tightly. “Don’t be cruel to Trace. He never did anything to you.”

This feels good. Maybe it’s just because I haven’t had affection from a woman in so long and she’s good at it. Like she’s rubbing her feet against mine and her fingers are just lightly playing with the hairline on the back of my neck. It feels so good and relaxing. “I think he’ll like the challenge.”

“Challenge?” She pulls away and stops all her little movements. She stares at me. “Justin, don’t do anything crazy. Plus, you’re...” Her eyes move from mine and she looks down at my chest for a moment. “You’re leaving tomorrow so…”

I lift up her chin with my hand and stare at her. God, she even looks upset. I think she really does like me, ya know, not just as Justin Timberlake or cause she thinks I’m attractive or something, but I think she really likes me, like really does, a lot. I kiss her for a moment and whisper, “I can make up some work for me to do here.”

“Justin, don’t do…”

I interrupt her. “I want to…” I start kissing her again and she kisses me back all slow, knowing just how to use her lips and her mouth. This girl really knows her shit. She runs her fingers against the back of my neck and over my shoulders and smiles at me when I pull away. Even now, without all that make up and shit she had on today, with just glasses and a smile she’s gorgeous. I kiss the tip of her nose and she giggles and holds onto me tightly. Her body fits so good against mine and I pull back and lay so she’s on me, lightly pressing her lips into my neck. I hold her arm and keep it where it’s laying against my torso. She has little chill bumps over her arm and I wonder if she’s cold and rub her arm a bit to try and warm her up.

I ask, “You think we can make this work?”

“I wanna try,” She whispers. I turn and kiss the top of her head. It’s been so long since I’ve had this affection and I know it’s not going anywhere more than this. I can sense she’s exhausted and I’m fine with just holding her. “I think we should just take it one day at a time, see where it leads and hopefully it’ll lead to peace and happiness and romance. And if not, we gave it a go and that’s all that matters, right?”

I smile and stare at the ceiling thinking about how it would be great if this did work. For some reason I have this worry that it won’t. “What are you gonna do tomorrow if people ask you about those tracks we worked on?”

She laughs, sits up a bit and resituates a pillow before lying back down beside me. “I’ll be professional.”

I roll over on top of her and laugh. “You promise you won’t tell them that I’ve been trying to tap yo’ ass.”

Her eyes narrow for a moment and she gets a serious look on her face. “You better not want to. ‘Cause your not…ever.”

“What?” This is confusing. Why is she getting serious on me?

She turns up her nose and I can feel her trying to squirm her way out from under me. “If you’re into that kind of sex....into butts, well then we’re gonna have to talk this out.”

“Ohh…” I start to laugh and realize she thought I was really talking about anal shit. Well, at least we have it in common that we’re both not into it. “No, that’s...that’s not what I’m talking about. I was just saying…” I shake my head and laugh.

She nods slowly and keeps her eyes narrowed at me. “Mmmhmm, so you do just want me for sex, huh?” She rolls her eyes at me and huffs. “I was wondering what the real reason for you calling me up was.”

I laugh at her, ‘cause I see now she’s smiling. I touch her hair a little bit. It’s soft and bone straight, pulled back in her ponytail, different from the wavy mess it was this afternoon. “I called you up ‘cause I kind of missed ya. And I was hoping that I’d get the guts to do what I wanted to do when we were in the studio.”

“What’s that?” She’s whispering again. It’s adorable, and yet, sexy.

I lick my lips and realize how close I am to her, how great it feels to be this close to you. “Kiss you. I wanted to so bad.”

“Really?” I nod at her and she looks utterly amazed with me. I sigh and fall into her, kissing her deeply. I can’t help myself. It makes me feel so good to know that this girl really likes me. It makes my whole body relax. She’s got this calming effect on me, I like it. I just hope I don’t get too attached and then she wakes up and realizes she doesn’t want to be with me, or I wake up and realize I fucked up some where a long the way. She tastes so good, too. I could just stay here and kiss her all night if she’d let me. I really don’t want to stop this time. I don’t wanna stop kissing her. So I don’t, I plan to just lay here with her, kissing until she tells me to stop or until one of us falls asleep. I keep thinking about how I want this, how I want her and how I pray to God I don’t mess this up for myself. And I hope, God, I really hope she can handle this.