Chapter 27

Event Room: Staples Center, 1:18

I scan the room looking for my girl, but I can’t find her. Shit, if she’s already bounced then I bet Angie would shit her pants. She’s supposed to be out here with me promoting and schmoozing with all these executives. Little sneak getting out of all the hard work. I smile to myself. She’s a smart girl. I just wish she would have let me in on it. I wish we could have snuck off together.

I spot Courtney talking to some blonde chick on the other side of the large room, so maybe Mere’s still around here somewhere. I hope she hasn’t left. I hope she hasn’t gone on her bus because I want to stay with her tonight. I really want to stay with her tonight, and I wanted to tell her about the surprise I had lined up for her. Though, it’d be fucking hilarious if she went ahead and drove to Las Vegas and left Courtney. I know, I know. I’m an asshole.

“Fantastic show, J.” I turn and don’t know who the fuck that gay was that just passed me and said that. I love how a lot of people who don’t know me call me “J” as if it’s some assumed nickname they use to act like they are close to me. Whatever he called me, he’s still right.

It was fantastic tonight. No, it was more than that. Seriously. It was so much fun really doing my own music out there, and to have her there, too. I don’t know, maybe it won’t be as bad as I originally thought. Maybe going out and performing with her every night will be good for us. She…she kicked ass tonight. I didn’t get to see all of her set, but I know when we were doing our songs together and when she came out and danced with me during “Love Stoned” the crowd went wild. She put it down, she nailed it, and…and I’m really fucking proud of her. She’s grown and improved so much from her first album, even from the moment she came into the studio with me. I know there was shit going on with her life, I know that she was kind of depressed, but you could tell she was unsure of herself and had been that way before all that drama had happened. You could tell that she really didn’t have full confidence in herself. She relied on me a lot, and I really had to change how I did some of my shit to make her work and make her be creative with me. And I had to figure out a way to do it without completely deflating her and getting angry with her.

It worked. I don’t know how the fuck I did it, but it worked.

She’s always been a phenomenal dancer, but tonight her voice was so on point, and the crowd was loving her songs. They seemed to love mine as well.

I smile.

I think I really did a good job, too. And honestly, I don’t think she’s the only one that’s grown and improved. I know it’s a cocky-ass thing to say, but really, my album and these new songs of mine are fucking insane. I know I did it, but at the same time I’m kind of like amazed that I did, that I had the balls to do something completely different than what people would expect from a boy band veteran. And something completely different from Justified.

Ya know, I should probably just go see her. I look down at my wrist. Shit, I don’t even know what time it is because I forgot to put my watch on after I showered. I go to pull out my phone and see what time it is, maybe I’ll call her, see where she is. I haven’t really seen her since the show got over. She came into my dressing room right after the show finished. I was undressing out of my sweaty clothes and she ran in, all clean and beautiful and ready for the after party. She kissed me really hard, right there in front of everyone else in the dressing room, whispered she loved me and that she’d see me at the party.

But I haven’t really been able to see her. I mean, yeah she was here and I saw her talking to people and everything. And at one point I caught her smiling at me from across the room and I winked at her. The look she gave me in return was shy and simple but it made me stop thinking about anything but her. I was about go to run over and talk to her for a second when this mass of people came up and started hugging her. These party things are kind of weird like that. I mean, they’re supposed to be for the artists, but really they’re for all the executives and investors in the tour to come together, meet the artist and get a feel for how well the tour is going to go. It’s for them to speculate how much money they’re going to make. There’s also an interviewer or two roaming around here for a LA paper and I think I was talking to a Rolling Stone journalist earlier, but I haven’t really been around just one person all night, there’s always been a group surrounding me, so I don’t know who I’ve talked to.

“Justin…”

I turn and see my dad and Johnny walking up to me with a couple other guys with them. I don’t know who they are, but they are wearing suits and they look important. I take a deep breath, plaster on a smile and try not to show how much I really don‘t want to talk to whoever this is.

“Hey…” I say causally, calmly. It’s almost sick how I have this down to a science, how to be professional, how to fucking bull shit. I mean, if someone starts doing shit I don’t like I’m not gonna stand for it. But all these promotional people, the sponsors, and the owners and all that crap, they just want another celebrity to mark off on the list. So I have to lay on the charm, make a few jokes, seem interested in what they do, when really I don’t really give a shit. Don’t get me wrong, I know these people are important, and I know they are probably dishing out a lot of money or potentially can help out with some future business venture, but most of the time they are so god damn boring. I normally just sip my beer and try to change the conversation to sports or travel or something that has a bit of neutral ground.

Is it bad, too, that I think I’ve met these people before? Like, I don’t know their names but they look familiar. It’s so weird, ‘cause normally with artists, producers, people who actually work with me I never ever have trouble remembering their names, but these type of people, who are just putting up money, who are basically buying me like stock, I can never ever remember what their names are.

Shit, this guy does know me. He’s talking about how I met him at some club opening last year. What the fuck is this dude’s name?

I glance around the room, seeing if I know where Trace is. ‘Cause Trace, shit, he’s like a genius when it comes to remembering someone’s name. He probably remembered the name of the Starbucks employee who fixed our coffee this morning.

It’s times like these when I sometimes get this weird, excited, yet uneasy feeling in my gut. Like I can be in the moment, talking to this guy I don’t really know, bull shitting out my ass and smiling, and I kind of just drift away from myself. It’s like I’m not even really there. Sometimes it makes me see how far I’ve come, it makes me wonder who I would be if I wasn’t in this business, or even if I wasn’t the face of the business, if I was behind the scenes, if I just was the owner of a little studio in Memphis, or if I was a producer that no one really knew about. It’s not like I’m trying to discredit what all happened to make me who I am today, ‘cause I kind of like who I am today, but it’s just like shit, most people don’t live like me. What if I was just a nobody from Tennessee?

But I’m not a nobody, and this dude is starting to get on my nerves. When he walked up I was dreading it, and now I know why. Everyone else is cool, but this one guy with the pink tie keeps asking me shit. Stuff about my new songs and the tour and about…about the songs I did with her. He’s got this look in his eyes like he’s gonna say something he shouldn’t.

“So it must be hard touring with your woman by your side all the time.”

He just said something he shouldn’t.

I look to Johnny to see if he’s paying attention to this, but him and my dad and some other guy are talking, oblivious to what’s going on right here. I don’t wanna talk about her to some stranger. It’s ok to talk about her on a business level, but no one else has the right to come up here and ask me about “my woman”. These people should know this by now, they should know me by now.

I narrow my eyes at this asshole. “It’s not hard being on tour with Meredith. She’s got a great album out, a great sound that goes well with the music I’ll be releasing soon.”

“Right, but let’s be honest. On tour, with your girlfriend, I mean these kind of gigs are made to get away from that kind of ball and chain.”

“Ball and chain?” I set my beer down on the bar counter behind me and cross my arms over my chest. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” This guy is insane if he feels like he can talk to me about this stuff. He’s trying to get a rise out of me, and it’s about to work.

Thankfully I spot Trace and he sees me. I pass him a look and he knows right then what to do.

Not a moment passes before he’s nudged his way between me and this guy who’s now staring at me with a smirk. What the fuck?

“What’s up guys? Justin I need to talk to you for a second, it’s important. Excuse us.” He turns and starts to walk away and I follow him gladly. Sometimes Trace is just as good a bodyguard as he is an assistant. We get over by the wall near where Monique, one of Mere’s dancers, and some other people are dancing and drinking. She smiles at me and I just nod. God, where the hell is my girl? I hope that asshole wasn’t bothering her earlier.

“What was that shit about?” Trace asks, leaning against the wall and looking back over to where we came from.

I run a hand over my head. Shit, I need to shave it again. Maybe I’ll grow it out. I wonder what she’d think about that. “Just an asshole trying to dig too deep.”

“Kind of swarmed with those tonight. I didn’t realize there were reporters here until someone asked me with a tape recorder what it was like to work for you. I was like, what the fuck! Let me enjoy my drink, damn.”

I nod at him and turn to lean beside him. I scan the crowd. Maybe I should ask Monique if she knows where Mere is. I wanna blow this place and I want her with me. I haven’t even been able to talk to her yet, and I know that’s just how it goes sometimes. But I don’t know, sometimes I just get this feeling where I need her near me and I want to just look at her and I have so much to say to her. Just stupid shit like this joke Tiny told me earlier today that I know she’ll giggle her head off about, and what Paula Deen was making on her show this morning.

Just stupid shit like that that doesn’t mean a damn thing to anyone else, but I wanna tell her and I know she’ll be excited about it. “Have you seen Mere?”

And I need to tell her how proud I am of her.

“That’s the important thing I need to talk to you about. She’s gone.”

I stop my intense scan of the room and stare at Trace. “Gone where?”

“She left a little bit ago and told me to tell you bye or something.”

“What?” Did I do something wrong? No no no, what the hell? She was smiling at me from across the room less than an hour ago.

“Yeah, you should probably head on back to your bus and get ready, cause Lonnie said they wanna move you out of here in the next 15-20 minutes and I know how you like to be settled and shit.”

Something’s going on. Trace is smiling, so…I don’t know. I guess I’m not in trouble but, but she told me this afternoon when we were making out on her dressing room couch that she wanted to ride with me to night. She also said she wanted to ride me, but…she’s a tease.

I sigh. Maybe he’s right. Maybe I should just go get some sleep. “I guess I should go say bye to…”

“They’ll understand,” he cuts me off. “Your momma was talking to me earlier and told me I had to make sure you had lights out by two or we’re both in trouble.”

I crack a smile. My mom is such a nerd. Sometimes she treats Trace and me like we’re still in 4th grade. Sometimes she still reminds me to say ‘thank you’ and ‘yes ma’am’. “She really said ‘lights out’?”

“Yup, had me rolling.”

I shrug. I hate to be like this. I hate to leave a party that’s pretty much on my behalf, but I guess if Mere did it and no one’s really noticed then it won’t be bad if I do it. “I guess you’re right. You know how I am.”

“Yeah, no one will think anything of it, though. It’s starting to wear down anyway. I mean half of the double act has already gone so…”

“But Courtney’s still here.”

“Oh…” He shrugs and I see his color drain from his face for a second. Trace has a hard time keeping secrets from me and right now he’s got a secret he’s not telling me. I don’t know if I should pry or not. If it’s about him and Courtney I’m not sure I even really wanna know. I know I’m dick about that situation and I know I’m a dick to her. But I don’t really care. From the moment I met her I had this really bad feeling, this gut-wrenching dread like she was gonna bother me or fuck something up for me. It was the same feeling I just got from that guy that was talking shit. I trust my gut, it’s never failed me.

It hasn’t tonight and I don’t think it will with her. I don’t know what it is, but I don’t like it and I don’t like her. She’s gonna fuck up somewhere along the way and I just hope it’s not so bad that it hurts me. And I hope it doesn’t destroy Mere.

No one is gonna make me start liking her. I’ve tried to keep my distance, but it’s so fucking hard when she’s always fucking staring at me or Meredith. It’s creepy.

And I don’t like it.

And the fact that Trace is like dating or, or fucking her or something. Well, that just proves to me that he needs to get out more, that Elisha messed him up and that I need to do whatever I can to help him get back away from Courtney and on to the next hot chick.

He needs a girl like Mere. Maybe a little more edgy, but a girl that’s cute and sweet and sexy and loyal.

And fun.

Courtney is the epitome of not fun.

“I don’t know. You go on and get on your bus and I’ll figure out what’s up with her. Lonnie’s right outside the door waiting.”

Why the hell is Lonnie outside? Something’s going on. I hate surprises. And he knows that shit.

“You’re up to something Ayala.”

He cracks a smile, the color back in his face now. “It’s not me you should be worried about.”

“What…”

He takes a sip from his glass and shrugs. “I didn’t say anything, ok?”

I’m quiet for a moment, putting together the pieces. An idea slowly starts to form in my mind and Trace doesn’t seem anxious or nervous, just insistent on getting me out to my bus. I smile. “She’s got something planned, doesn’t she?”

“I’m clueless,” he deadpans and then starts to grin himself.

“Alright, alright.” Maybe I’ll get to talk to her tonight. Maybe she hasn’t left yet. Maybe that asshole by the bar hasn’t ruined my evening. “So it’s worth it to leave?”

“Definitely worth it. That’s all you’re getting from me. Just go, ignore everyone else, and enjoy yourself.”

“Cool. I assume you aren’t riding with me?”

“I got things to do right now.” He laughs and starts to walk away from me, pointing towards the double doors. “So stop talking and I’ll see ya in Vegas.”

I shake my head at him, but I’m not annoyed. I take a breath and then high tail it to the exit. I’m starting to get a little excited, a little anxious, too. I really don’t like surprises, but if it has to do with just me and Mere and something she personally planned then I think I might start enjoying them.

Sure enough, Lonnie is sitting right outside the doors in a chair that looks incredibly too small for him.

“You have any idea what’s-”

He stands up and cuts me off. “I have my orders and I’m going to escort you to your bus.”

“Ass.” I glare and start to walk with him back through the underbelly of the arena to where the bus is parked. “You know I don’t like this surprise shit.”

“Seriously, I have my orders, that’s all I know.” I nod at him and realize that he’s tired, in a bad mood and wants to go to sleep. So I’m quiet and a good little soldier and follow him through a couple hallways out to the loading area. Crewmen are working on loading up the transfer trucks and I pull the hood from my zip up sweatshirt over my head, pull down the sleeves that were pushed up and stuff my hands in my pocket. I know I probably should have dressed a little nicer to this after party thing, but after wearing a tie and dress pants on stage all night I wanted to be comfortable. Mere was wearing this cute short navy blue dress. But it’s cold outside now, even in summer LA nights can be surprisingly chilly.

We get to the bus and Lonnie tells me to have a good night and waits outside the bus while I get on it. It confuses me for a moment. Usually I have at least one guard on the bus with me. Maybe Tiny’s already in here or maybe even Teddy, ya know, just in case my girl is somewhere on this damned thing.

I step up and see my driver sitting there reading a magazine and sipping on coffee. “So James, what’s this big secret?”

“What secret?” He doesn’t look up from his Newsweek.

“I hate you all.” I laugh and pull myself up onto the main part of the bus. It’s really nice, like I’ve always had a kick ass tour bus, especially since I went solo. But this one they made it just for me. All wood and sleek black interior. I wonder what Mere’s looks like. I haven’t even seen it yet.

“I’m taking off in 5, ok?”

“Cool.” Brennan gets down from where she was laying in the small booth near the kitchenette area. She’s wagging her tail and sniffs the floor then she immediately stretches in front of me and comes up and smells my shoes and looks up at me. I love this damned dog. She’s not as hyper as Buck and not as affectionate, but she just looks at me with such love and respect. I guess that’s something dumb to say about a dog.

And my mom told me it was dumb to bring “those two monsters” on a tour bus. I know she wasn’t being mean, but well, they are pretty damn big. Ha, knowing my mom she just wanted to take care of them herself. I just didn’t want anyone else handling them while I was gone, even my mom. I guess I’m turning into one of those crazy dog people.

“They been alright?” I ask James.

“Yeah, just hanging out.”

“Where’s Buck?”

“In the back, I assume.”

I look up, the back door is closed, which is strange. Unless of course, someone is already in there. No one else is in sight and I know Tiny snores like a mother fucker and I can’t hear a damn thing. It’s eerie, a little creepy and my anxiety is starting to get higher even though I know Mere’s probably back there. “Alright I’m heading to sleep, or at least attempting it.”

“Good luck…”

I look back over to James, he’s not paying me a damn bit of attention and Brennan has plopped herself back on the seat by the table. I glance up again to the closed door of my bedroom. I guess if something or someone bad was around then James wouldn’t just be hanging out and I know for damn sure Bren wouldn’t be falling back asleep.

I’m such a pussy. Why the fuck am I freaking out about this? I should just go back there ‘cause Mere is probably back there getting all impatient.

I step through my bus and get to the door and open it.

“Holy….”

Ya know, my girl is sexy no matter what she’s in. If she’s just in a tee shirt and jeans, or big sweatpants, or in nothing, or in those hot little dresses she wears, it doesn’t matter. She’s always beautiful.

But like, when you see her on your bed, in a black lace push up bra, matching thong and fucking thigh highs, well, you kind of lose the function to think properly. Man, fucking shit I have the sexiest woman alive. If I had a camera I’d take a picture.

I stare at her and move the hood off my head. I close the door behind me and latch it so that I can lean against it and watch her. She’s just laying there with her legs bent to one side and her hand over her stomach, covering her sexy little navel. Her hair’s pulled back off her face, and her eyes are closed and her mouth…

Wait…

Her eyes are closed.

I almost laugh. What the hell is she doin’ asleep on top of my bed dressed like that?

A bark comes from beside the bed and Buckley is immediately up on me jumping, tail wagging like it might fall off, tongue hanging out the side of his mouth. I laugh and push him down, patting his head and neck so that he’ll get off me and stop yapping and wake up my girl.

Too late. She yawns and stretches out fully on my bed, arms over her head, legs taut and toes pointed. She sighs and curls back up, opening her eyes for a moment before slinging an arm over her face.

I smile at her.

Then suddenly she jumps up. Her eyes are wide and her knees are pulled up to her chest. She looks at me shocked, as if I’m not the one she wants to be there, staring at her. “Oh shit.”

“What?”

She pouts and sinks down against the bed, pulling a pillow over her face and moaning, “I fell asleep.”

“It’s ok.” I step forward and trip a little. I look down and see a pair of extremely high slip on stilettos. I bend down, pick them up and raise an eyebrow at her as she put the pillow back where it was.

“Ughhhh,” She hits the mattress and Buckley jumps up on the bed, thinking that her motion was an invitation to get on the bed. “Justin I was supposed to seduce you!”

“Really now?” I smile at her and take off my sweatshirt. It’s hot as hell in here and I know for damn well it’s not because the heat’s on. Seeing her like that was like automatic hard-on for me. I know she’s sleepy now and I know she’s probably not interested, but damn. I gotta do something.

“I just got sleepy.”

I go and lay beside her on the part that Buckley hasn’t claimed for his on. I lie on my stomach and sit up a bit leaning on my arms, looking down at her. “Hmm, someone did work their cute little ass off tonight.”

She sighs and her frown turns into a smile and she curls up towards me. Yes. This is what I want. This is what I’ve been craving all fucking night. Just her and me. “Makes two of us. You did so good. Oh my god, I watched most of the second set that I could and oh lord…I just fell in love with you again. You’re so hot.” She latches her arms around my neck and I lean in to kiss her, laughing.

“You’re silly.”

“What time is it?” She’s looking directly in my eyes and I find myself staring back.

“Time for you to sleep.”

“Nooo…” She whines and bites her lip at me. “I took a nap, I’m rested now.”

I’m not so convinced that that’s not a lie. When I walked in she was pretty much knocked out. I’m starting to feel it weighing on my shoulders as well. “Mere…”

“Please, let me do this. I want to show you that tour will be fun, that it’s worth it.”

“Whoa, whoa…hold up.” I pull back from where she’s pulling me down against her and I sit up on my knees and then move so my legs are hanging off the side of the bed. “What?”

“I want to show you that being with me on tour is worth it.”

“Mere, no…no.” I stand up and shake my head, kicking off my shoes. Ya know, I think I really fucked up with her at one point. The whole Miami thing was me just being a scared, pathetic jerk, but I should have handled the fact that we were touring together better. I can’t help it, though. I’m a cautious guy and, and I hate knowing that the way I acted about it makes her so insecure. I’m not leaving her, I don’t doubt her. Sometimes I just doubt myself. I don’t wanna hurt her. God, that’s like the worst thing to do. I know, I know she knows I’m not perfect and I know she accepts me for my flaws and everything but, but I just don’t wanna let her down.

She’s got all these expectations and I want to meet them and I want to fulfill them for her. But what if I can’t? Or what if I fail?

I don’t know. Being with Mere is fantastic. Don’t get me wrong, I love her and she makes me feel incredible.

But being with her is letting me realize how fucking jaded I really am.

“Look, we need to talk about this.”

“About what?” She’s anxious now. I don’t even have to look at her. I can hear it in her voice. She thinks she’s fucked up something. I really hate this.

The last thing I ever, ever want her doing is using sex to achieve some goal. I don’t want her to think she has to do that with me to make me happy. I want it to make her happy, too. I want it to be about us, not just about me. Ugh, I’m starting to feel nauseous. I shouldn’t have had those few beers during and after the show, especially since I didn’t eat much supper.

“I…I want to be on tour with you.” I turn and stare at her and go and turn off the TV she had on. It was on mute, playing the Real World or something. “You don’t have to do this to prove something to me. I want you to do this ‘cause you want it.”

“I do…I really do.”

I sigh. I don’t know if maybe what she said earlier was misunderstood or misinterpreted or something. I’m still trying to learn when she’s really happy or when she’s really concerned and when she’s masking it. Sometimes she does that with me. She’ll mask her feelings and frustrations and emotions ‘cause she doesn’t want to bother me. Sometimes I feel like she thinks everything else in my life takes a priority to her, as if she’s some nuisance. As if her having a bad day is a hindrance to mine. I don’t want her thinking that at all ‘cause it’s not. I really do love her and she’s one of the most important things to me.

Maybe I’m over reacting. Maybe I’m too sensitive.

I know I’m over cautious, but sometimes I think she is, too. I think she’s just as afraid of losing me as I am of her and I think she sacrifices a lot of that fear just so she doesn’t worry me. We’re both too far in it now. There’s no backing out or ending it now, not without a broken heart and a fucked up mind.

This isn’t gonna work. Me standing here staring at her, watching her look down at her nails, unsure of what’s going on between us. I know that I gotta change this. She planned this tonight, she set it up. She got Trace and Lonnie and James and probably a lot of other people in on it. She wanted to spend time with me and here I am trying to read too much into stuff.

I’ve been looking for her all night and now I get her and I don’t do all those things I’ve been craving to do all night.

I take a breath and undo the belt of my jeans, passing her a small smile, taking the initiative to change this night around. “I was so proud of you tonight. You sung me out of the water on ‘Stand Alone’.”

She looks up at me. A smile’s on her face, a genuine pure smile. I gotta stop reading into everything she does. I gotta realize that sometimes she might just want to be with me and love me and that there doesn’t have to always been some other motive going on. “And you about danced me to death on ‘Look Your Way’ and ‘Love Stoned’.”

I laugh and drop my jeans to the floor, stepping out of them and picking them up so I can throw them over the chair in the corner near the small closet. I see her duffel bag with her name embroidered on it is laying there in that chair. For some reason that makes me smile. Makes me realize that she’s gonna ride with me to Vegas, that she has plans to spend time with me. “Hey, you about had me humping you on stage during ‘Love Stoned’.”

She giggles when I get on the bed and start crawling up towards her. “I just did what we practiced.”

“Yeah, about two inches closer than we practiced. We practiced it professionally…you made it personal, missy.”

“Did you like it?” She whispers, giving me a shy look.

“Mere…” I sigh and pull her against me when I lay down beside her. I hold her close to me, touching her soft skin and looking down at her. I just, I suck sometimes. And no matter what I try to do, I still sometimes have to talk thing to death. That’s what I’m doing now. “I am excited to be on tour with you. I know…I know I made you doubt that, but that was just my stupid insecurities. I don’t wanna lose you and I don’t want drama for us and especially on tour cause tour seems to just make all the bad stuff worse.”

“But I have faith.”

God, she’s sweet as everything.

“I…I do, too. I realize that now.” I lean in and kiss her for a moment. “And…and I love you, you know that right?”

She nods and leans into me, moving her leg around over my hip and pulling her body flush against mine. She’s got this look in her eyes and she kisses me for a moment and pulls back sucking on my bottom lip a bit.

Damn.

“You’re so fucking sexy,” she growls out to me in a quiet voice.

“Ok, random princess.” I laugh at her but she doesn’t laugh back and I figure she’s tired of playing around. She looks like she wants something and that something, I think, is me. I fall into her. I kiss her hard. She tastes like she always does, minty and clean and sweet. I move so I can lay on her and press my dick into her like I know she loves. I’m such a moron sometimes. Here I was trying to get all serious with her and she was passing me the ‘fuck me now’ look and her nipples are sticking out through the lacy material of the bra and now she’s got her hips all rubbing roughly against mine.

I forgot how hot having sex on a tour bus was. And I’ve never done it with Mere.

She’s breathing hard. Fuck girl, you want this don’t you? I start kissing her neck and she’s gripping my shoulders. I should probably get out of this tank top the way she’s pulling at the straps.

Suddenly her body starts to shake. I pull back a little thinking that if she’s about to come that’s seriously insane. What was she doing before I came in? Sure as hell not sleeping, then. I look at her face and there’s a bright smile and her eyes are closed.

Suddenly they open and she jerks up fast, almost hitting my head. ““Ow!” I pull up and look back at the end of the bed. Buck is there licking her feet.

“He just bit me a little.”

I laugh at her and he starts gnawing on her heel a little bit. She jerks her feet up and he snorts. What a dumb dog. She laughs and laughs that infectious laugh she gets. Sometimes something silly will happen and she’ll just laugh for hours about it. I mean sure, sometimes shit is funny but sometimes the most random thing will put her in a fit of giggles. It’s sexy. Suddenly, she stops laughing as hard and latches her arms around my neck and kisses me hard, pulling away and whispering, “Kick Buck out.”

“Hmm?” God, she tastes good. It makes me wonder. Ya know, there’s something I’ve never done for her. I wonder…I wonder what she really tastes like.

“Take him outside and then give me a minute and walk back in here and let me start over…ok?”

I grab her ass and smack it lightly, saying to her and biting down on the tip of her nose lightly. “Sneak.”

I do what she asks and stand up and readjust myself so if I go and James happens to turn around he won’t see me with a hard on. That’d be awkward. I open the door and click my tongue against my teeth and Buck gets down from the bed and immediately goes towards Brennan and starts smelling her ass. She looks unamused.

Both dogs lift their heads when James cranks the bus and then sigh and curl up together. I lean against the wall right outside my bedroom and wait a moment until I just can’t stand it. I doubt I give her a minute. Probably 20 seconds, so I hope it’s enough to do whatever she wanted.

She’s on the edge of the bed. Heels on her feet. Legs crossed. Pout on her lips. Sexy fucking look in her eyes. She’s smiling at me. “Good evening Mr. Timberlake…” She says in a low voice.

I shut the door behind me again. “Well hello Miss Craven.”

She pats the space beside her. “Won’t you come here and rest yourself after a long night at work.”

I bite my lip, but it doesn’t work and I start laughing softly at her. What the hell is she up to? “You’re cracking me up.”

“Hush! Just come here, dammit.” I love it when she’s like that. When she gets all pretend frustrated. It’s cute as hell.

I walk towards her and lean over her, pinning her back against the bed. I move my lips down over her breasts and kiss her cleavage before looking up and saying, “Mmm, hey…”

She slides up further on the bed and pulls me with her, wrapping her legs around my hips. “I wanna have sex all night.”

“Me too.” I say matter of factly and then pull back a little bit and sit on my knees in between her legs. She’s laid out all in front of me and I honestly can’t believe I’m about to say what I am. But sometimes I think I just need to say this shit, just so she knows I’m thinking about her, too and that I’m not solely concerned with my dick. “But I remember someone complaining earlier today about three call-in spots they have to do tomorrow morning. And when we get in Vegas I have a lunch meeting with Johnny.”

“Please…” She begs.

I lean back down against her and run a finger over the lace strap of her bra. God, she looks so good. “I have a feeling neither of us are gonna be able to stay up too late.”

Her pout turns into a small smile and I feel her hand run over my head in a very loving, soothing manner. “Are you coming down from it?”

That’s one thing I love about her that I think makes our bond, our relationship really strong. She knows exactly what it feels like. I mean I’ve dated lots of different girls in my life in lots of different lines of work, but Mere she like, she knows what it feels like to be on stage, to sing your heart out, dance your feet off and come off the stage feeling like you could do anything. It’s this adrenaline rush that doesn’t die down. It’s like a drug, like being high or something. And then about exactly two hours after you step off that stage, you start losing it and losing it and it starts sliding away fast. It explodes when you go on stage and then two hours after you’re off it suddenly turns flat.

She can just look at me, or hear my voice and know that I’m starting to get flat. Meredith was probably crazy hyper and enthused at that party, talkative, smiling, happy to be there. I saw her, I know she was. She came back here all excited, energized got on her little outfit, got set up. Probably turned on the TV to waste some time, to try and stop her mind from reeling so much, and then she got on the bed.

And suddenly she went flat.

I’ve been there before. Even with your best intentions and promises, even when you think an hour before, ‘oh man I don’t know how the hell I’m gonna be able to sleep tonight’, suddenly you just pass out. It’s weird. It’s not a bad feeling, just strange and hard to explain.

But she gets it.

“Starting to…” I smile at her, liking the way her fingers feel against the back of my head. “Layin’ in bed with you is relaxing.”

Her smile is easy and she leans in to press her lips against mine and I kiss her back. She wraps her arms and legs around me and pulls me down hard against her. Her kissing is slightly sloppy and slow which means she really is tired. I hate to push her, but I guess she wants it. And sometimes tired sex is the best, when you’re all just slow and you can barely even thrust and you’re just laying there kissing, your body inside of hers.

But so is full-on crazy energized sex, when you’re scratching and screaming and grunting at each other. Ha, that kind of sounds kinky, but it’s the truth. I wanna have that with her ‘cause we haven’t been really able to spend a lot of time together the past week. It’s why I got everything planned for Vegas like I do. So we can go out, so we can get piss drunk, so we can come back to the hotel and actually be able to do what she wants, to have sex all fucking night. I even talked to Teddy about her schedule the day after all this, cause I didn’t want to have to talk to Courtney, and she doesn’t have an early morning that day, so me and her can sleep in together. Maybe have breakfast in bed and all that romantic stuff.

I haven’t been able to do all that kind of sappy, love relationship stuff with her, and I want to ‘cause, well, I think she’ll like it. I think it’ll make her feel special.

Like, I’ve got it set up so tomorrow when we get there and I have to be in my meeting all afternoon she’ll be able to go to our room and there’ll be a bubble bath and roses for her, ‘cause I know how she is. She’s told me the one thing she hates about traveling is how gross she feels afterward. And I got it so she can go spend time at this really nice spa, get a massage or a manicure, or whatever the hell she wants.

So when I come back that evening to spend time with her she’ll be refreshed and relaxed and happy. I like doing stuff like that for her. I mean, I even booked it myself. I didn’t have Trace do it for me. It kind of thrilled me doing it myself, doing those exciting little things like that for her.

“Speaking of…” I pull back for a moment and look down at her, she’s pinned underneath me, but she doesn’t look uncomfortable and she looks happy to be there. “I wanna ask you about something.”

“What?”

“What’s your schedule like in Vegas? Like besides the show, do you have promo?”

Her fingers run over my shoulders and she is staring at my neck. “I have a couple of interviews I think sometime in the next few days. And we have that stupid club appearance to do together. Nothing major.”

“Good.” Her eyes move to look into mine. “I wanna spend time with you, Mere. I wanna do things together. I kind of booked us a room for our stay, I hope that’s ok.”

She stares at me and starts to sit up. She looks confused. “What?”

“Well, I figured after being on the road you’d need a night to relax so I got us this room that they’re gonna specialize for us, instead of the regular rooms the tour sets up. It’s gonna be like romantic and shit.”

“Specialize?” Her eyes are tired, but their sparkling and excited.

“I’m not telling you everything, but just don’t plan a lot of stuff ‘cause I wanna take you out. We don’t get to go out much just me and you, hell I don’t even know if we have yet. And I wanna go gamblin’ with your fine, lucky ass. Have you blow on my dice and all that shit.”

She scrunches up her nose. “You make it sound dirty.”

“Maybe it is.” I laugh at her and kiss her briefly.

“You really wanna do all that with me?” What the hell girl? Of course I do.

“You’re my woman,” I say to her. I guess it’s kind of vulgar, but I fucking love lying down on top of her. Like she just fits there. Not to say that like ‘oh that’s her place’. I don’t wanna be an asshole. But like she’s comfortable there and her body feels so fucking good against mine. “And I think after all the shit that’s been going on lately we haven’t really gotten to spend alone time together, not like real quality time. We’ve been so busy with promotion and practice. It’s like I’m with you and around you, but I still kind of miss you.”

She’s smiling so big and she latches her arms around my neck and pulls me closer. “I’m here right now.” She kisses me hard and when she pulls away she starts to move in for my jaw, knowing once she starts kissing the corner of it near my ear, I’ll be putty in her hands.

“That you are,” I say to her and move so that we’re on our sides. I run my hand down over her side to her hip and then behind so I can grab her tight little ass. I eye her outfit. “God damn girl, where’d you get this little thing?”

“If you keep secrets about Vegas, I get to keep secrets about my special stores.” She bites her lip. Fuck I wanna do her.

“Ok, ok…” I smile at her and move my finger along the top hem of her panties, across her lower stomach. “Are there more where this came from?”

“Maybe if you’re good you’ll find out.”

“Speaking of being good…” I lunge for her and pull her body up over mine. I make her straddle my hips and I push my junk against her panties. God, I fucking want her. We haven’t really even done anything yet, I haven’t touched her or kissed her nipples or anything, but it’s like all this talking is foreplay. I can’t stand it. I move my hands over her breasts and run my thumbs over her hard little nipples. I fucking need her. “You’re gonna have to be good on stage. No more teasing the shit out of me and making me as horney as you do. If you do, I’ll pay you back by making you one sore woman.”

“Justin!” She smacks my shoulder, but I know she doesn’t care ‘cause her mouth was dropping when I was touching her breasts and she was breathing hard. “Don’t be vulgar.”

“Well…it’s your fault for getting me turned on.”

“I turn you on?”

I laugh and hold onto her hips so I can push up against her some more. Damn, I think all her teasing today is starting to catch up with me. From making out with her in her dressing room, to being on stage with her and having her grind her ass into my junk and just watching her shake her shit out there on stage and rock the house, to now…fuck I don’t know if I can handle this. “Are you seriously asking me that right now?”

“I want you…” She breathes hard and leans down and kisses me. “Right now.”

“Alright…” I smile at her and pat her ass so she knows to get off of me. She does and lies down on the bed and starts to curl up to me. But I move to get off the bed before she can start kissing my neck and grabbing my junk through my boxers like I know she was about ready to do. I have an idea. And I know I’m about to burst as it is, but I want to make her feel the way I am. I want to tease the hell out of her.

And I think she’ll like it.

“Where you going?” she asks.

“Just relax.” I take off my tank top and she’s just staring at me. I can’t help but smile at her a little bit before kneeling on the edge of the bed and moving my hands to her legs. I hope I have enough room to do this. I mean, it’s a big bed, but still, sometimes you need a big long space to actually do this.

I spread her legs for her and slide my hands up to her thighs, over her sexy stockings and grab on the strap of her lacy thong that’s over her hip bones.

“Justin…” She sits up abruptly, her eyes wide. “What are you gonna do?”

I smile at her. “What do you want me to do?”

“Oh my god…” She breaths out and I lean down and kiss her hip bone, pulling down on the lace.

“What?” I kiss slightly down her thigh and nudge her legs apart some more so I can get rid of her underwear and get to where I want.

I don’t have to tell her what I’m going to do to her. She knows and I think she wants it. Maybe she’s been wanting it. That makes me hot. “I’ve fantasized about this ever since I fucking met you.”

“Really?” I drop her panties to the floor and move my hands up over her legs again. God does she look sexy with the heels all piercing into the mattress, making her hips stand off the bed a little bit. “Tell me.”

“Well...” I watch her body react as she talks and keep rubbing her legs, moving higher and higher. I want her so bad, but I want to tease her, too and I hope I can hold on to my restraint while I do this to her. “Remember when, when it was like the last night we worked together? I remember I was wearing this skirt ‘cause it was really hot that day and I was at the controls, listening to play back and it stopped working and you were teasing me, telling me that I broke it and was going to have to pay all this money to fix the panel. So like, you crawled under the fucking desk to make sure it was all plugged and I just…I wasn’t being a good girl.”

I’m kissing her inner thigh now, taking all of her in. I’ve seen her before, I’ve seen all of her before, but never this close. Fuck. I want her to talk to me. I want her to get me going, even though I’m already there. I wanna hear about how she thought about me when we first met. “Tell me Meredith…”

“I just thought, what if you just like…started doing that.”

“Doing what?” I take in breath deep and I know when I exhale it tickles her because she jerks and moves her hands down trying to grip at my head or shoulders or something.

“Justin…”

I hook my arms under her thighs and splay my hands over her flat tummy. “You had no problem taking dirty to me in your dressing room.” I smile and bite down on her skin.

She takes a deep breath and leans her head down on the pillows, staring at the ceiling. Her arms are bent at the elbows, so her hands can reach back for the pillows and grab them. “I thought what if you started going down on me. Like down there on your knees and you just pulled my hips to the edge of the chair and spread my legs and pulled my panties to the side and...and…”

“Don’t get there before I even start girl.” I laugh and push her legs up a little so she’s opened up to me more.

Holy fucking shit. She’s just like spread right there for me. All for me.

“I wanted you so bad,” she’s fucking moaning and I haven’t even touched her. At first I thought it was just a crush and it was. I was so into you. You were the best guy I’d ever met. But you were also the sexiest. And like a lot those times I’d mess up singing were because I’d start looking at you and thinking about what would happen if you just came into the booth and grabbed me and stripped me and started doing me up against the wall all hard and rough and fuck Justin. I’d go home every fucking night and think about you and …”

“Damn girl, ok…ok…” I take my hand and start rubbing her real slow with my fingers. She sucks in a breath and lets out a moan that almost makes me come. I’m rock hard right now, and I seriously hope that I can do this without acting like I’m 13 and lose it in my boxers.

She’s got a point, though. I remember, funny enough, thinking the same thing during those same moment. I’d be looking at her singing, or sitting on the couch or at the controls listening to play back and I’d just feel myself go hard staring at her. And…and that time she was talking about, about when I was underneath the controls, she shifted her legs and fuck yeah I was staring at her. I barely got a glimpse of these red panties she was wearing. I stayed down there for a good minute just thinking about what I’d do if she was my girl, about how I wanted her to be my girl so I could please her. I ended up having to do something I hadn’t had to do in so, so fucking long. I felt like a loser when I went to the bathroom a few minutes later to jack off. I just couldn’t stand it. I had to get a release.

She’s fucking intoxicating. She was from the moment I met her. And it’s only getting worse.

“I’d think about you, too. I always do when you’re not with me. This past week I couldn’t get you off my mind. I was craving you.” I can’t stand it and I lean in and kiss the skin in between her legs and hear her moan. She’s so ready for me, warm and wet and fuck…

Oh fuck, she tastes sweet and light and…oh god. I’ll admit it I sometimes don’t like doing this. I mean I’ll be honest, in the past there were girls who I was a little scared to do this shit to. Like, kind of gross ya know? But not with Mere. God, she’s like candy.

She moans and her hands are immediately o